BS: Ever more ridiculous 'news' headlines

Subject: RE: BS: Ever more ridiculous 'news' headlines
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Oct 10 - 09:29 AM

I should think that British mice have reason to mount public protests over this atrocity....they should march on Whitehall.

Subject: RE: BS: Ever more ridiculous 'news' headlines
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 20 Oct 10 - 09:05 AM

A MICED LOAF

At the end of last month there was a snippet of ridiculous news the sort of thing that would have normally been regarded as an 'urban myth' or a silly season tale. A well known brand of bread was found to have a squashed compressed mouse/rat in the corner of the crust which was discovered when father Stephen Forse was preparing sandwiches for his children one morning. I believe the company was fined but as the father said the tail of the rodent was missing so someone somewhere must have had that in their loaf. I wasn't too worried about it, but I am inclined to inspect the corners of my bread these days.

Subject: RE: BS: Ever more ridiculous 'news' headlines
From: meself
Date: 19 Oct 10 - 03:05 PM

Okay, here's one that appeared in one of our local rags a few days back. It's not necessarily ridiculous, but it's noteworthy. I'd like to think that the humour is intentional, but ... ?

"Roman Mask Goes to Faceless Buyer".

Subject: RE: BS: Ever more ridiculous 'news' headlines
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Oct 10 - 02:49 PM

They must be tailoring it to suit the expectations of Vicky Pollard and her mates...

Subject: RE: BS: Ever more ridiculous 'news' headlines
From: Edthefolkie
Date: 19 Oct 10 - 02:24 PM

Think Yahoo's bad - try AOL UK.

Welcome page a minute ago - Beckham's Trend setting Bulldog, also Oops - Whose Windy Wardrobe Malfunction?

Subject: RE: BS: Ever more ridiculous 'news' headlines
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Oct 10 - 12:47 PM

Indeed. Thank you, Bill, for your excellent and timely advice about Google News.

Subject: RE: BS: Ever more ridiculous 'news' headlines
From: Bill D
Date: 19 Oct 10 - 12:03 PM

hmmmppfff... you 'could' give credit for the idea.... ☺

Subject: RE: BS: Ever more ridiculous 'news' headlines
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Oct 10 - 10:57 AM

Okay, I have solved the problem. I've dumped Rogers Yahoo as my homepage and I have replaced it with Google News instead. No more stupid entertainment news BS at the top of the page, but REAL news instead. Much better. End of story.

Move on, please. Nothing to see here. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Ever more ridiculous 'news' headlines
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Oct 10 - 06:10 PM

Hey, Jack? You been told today? ;-D You want I should send Chongo down there to have a "little talk" with you? Izzat whatchew want? Capiche?

The "entertainment news" is what Rogers Yahoo is putting up at the top of my Homepage lately. They didn't used to do that a year ago, they used to put real news up there, but they're doing it now for some reason, and THAT is what I am objecting to. Not that I think it matters much. It doesn't matter at all. I may soon change to a different homepage anyway, because I am not very well impressed with Rogers Yahoo at this point.

It it annoys you that I make fun of the entertainment news here lately, just read another thread instead of this one and it won't annoy you any longer. If, however, you get a cool adrenalin rush out of being annoyed and it gives you a chance to vent, by all means, keep reading! ;-D That's why I'm still reading the Rogers Yahoo homepage, after all....

Yes, Jim, I'm aware that Neve Campbell is an actress, although I can't say I've seen anything she's acted in yet. At least...I don't think I have. I might have, and just forgot about it, I guess.

Subject: RE: BS: Ever more ridiculous 'news' headlines
From: Bill D
Date: 18 Oct 10 - 05:56 PM

Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows?


They're making big headlines!

Subject: RE: BS: Ever more ridiculous 'news' headlines
From: Black belt caterpillar wrestler
Date: 18 Oct 10 - 05:51 PM

Anyone remember "Bees stop work at Fords"?

Subject: RE: BS: Ever more ridiculous 'news' headlines
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 18 Oct 10 - 05:02 PM

Here's why you might care: Neve Campbell. She's not a bad actess, either.

Subject: RE: BS: Ever more ridiculous 'news' headlines
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 18 Oct 10 - 04:20 PM

How about a "Mudcat" headline?

"Hawk Resents People He Doesn't Know Getting Headlines."

Or

"If Entertainment 'News' Bothers You, Avoid it."

Subject: RE: BS: Ever more ridiculous 'news' headlines
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Oct 10 - 12:49 AM

Sawzaw: Why? ;-)

Latest silly headline: "Neve Campbell returns in sparkling mini"

Who the hell is Neve Campbell, and why should we care?

Subject: RE: BS: Ever more ridiculous 'news' headlines
From: Ed T
Date: 17 Oct 10 - 03:48 PM

This isn'ta haline, but a really funny TV interview I saw last month.

There was a hurricane threat to eastern Canada. The News host stated that there is fear that potential strong winds could damage farmers crops, (such as apple producers). The news then went over to a reporter, who was conducting a live interview with a farmer in a field. (Clearly there was not a pre interview). He asked the farmer what impact a hurricane could have on his crops. The farmer replied "none". The reporter asked, "oh, why not"? The farmer replied, "because I am a potato farmer, and patatoes grow underground. Dead air followed.

Subject: RE: BS: Ever more ridiculous 'news' headlines
From: Ed T
Date: 17 Oct 10 - 03:39 PM

My all time Favourite (not sure if I posted it earlier)

"Cracks Begin To Show In Women's Movement"

Subject: RE: BS: Ever more ridiculous 'news' headlines
From: Sawzaw
Date: 17 Oct 10 - 03:35 PM

LH: Yes.

Subject: RE: BS: Ever more ridiculous 'news' headlines
From: Q (Frank Staplin)
Date: 17 Oct 10 - 02:05 PM

"Double Down lands in Canada, raises eyebrows among nutrition experts."

Heading in Shaw Cable News. I read it because i had not heard of a 'Double Down'.
I found it was another contribution from the Land of the Golden Arches - two slabs of fried chicken enclosing bacon, cheese, and 'secret' sauce', 540 calories, 30 grams fat.
(Hmmm, I might just try it. Sounds macdonaldicious!).

Subject: RE: BS: Ever more ridiculous 'news' headlines
From: GUEST,Lizzie Cornish
Date: 17 Oct 10 - 08:21 AM

"Well, most people don't know this, but you can order Hobbit porn videos from hairyfeet.com.   Most of them star an over-endowed little chap named Dildo Baggins..."

:0) BRILLIANT!!! LOL

Subject: RE: BS: Ever more ridiculous 'news' headlines
From: GUEST,Lizzie Cornish
Date: 17 Oct 10 - 08:16 AM

Now come on, Little Hawk, you *know* how important celebrities are. Stop trying to fool us. I've just ordered a peek-a-boo dress for myself, a la Keira, but I think there may be wayyyyy more BOO! peeking out from my dress than from hers! ;0)

"Quick, nurse, the screens!"

Subject: RE: BS: Ever more ridiculous 'news' headlines
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Oct 10 - 07:17 AM

Well, most people don't know this, but you can order Hobbit porn videos from hairyfeet.com.   Most of them star an over-endowed little chap named Dildo Baggins...

Subject: RE: BS: Ever more ridiculous 'news' headlines
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 17 Oct 10 - 06:59 AM

HOBBIT TO BEGIN FILMING NEXT YEAR ~~ from this morning's 'latest headlines' on google. I didn't research further to ascertain the title or subject of the projected film.

~Michael~

Subject: RE: BS: Ever more ridiculous 'news' headlines
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Oct 10 - 06:35 AM

For this morning:

"Five clear signs he's just not that into you"

Subject: RE: BS: Ever more ridiculous 'news' headlines
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 09:20 PM

Excuse the typo. It should have read 'pregnancy pact'.

Subject: RE: BS: Ever more ridiculous 'news' headlines
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 09:08 PM

Tonight's headline: "Carrie Underwood reveals 'pregancy pact'"

Who the hell is Carrie Underwood, and why does anyone even care????

Subject: RE: BS: Ever more ridiculous 'news' headlines
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 07:40 PM

Are you still making the mistake of imagining that I am here to represent Canada?

I do not believe in the proposition: "My country right or wrong." My patriotism is there allright, has been there all along, but it's not blind patriotism.

Subject: RE: BS: Ever more ridiculous 'news' headlines
From: Sawzaw
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 07:37 PM

How Canada became a police state

Canada stands tall

Subject: RE: BS: Ever more ridiculous 'news' headlines
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 07:35 PM

LOL! Now, there's a hot issue for you...

I'd have gotten a canine psychiatrist for the last Dachshund, except for 2 things.

I doubt it would have helped one bit.
And I couldn't afford it anyway.

Subject: RE: BS: Ever more ridiculous 'news' headlines
From: Sawzaw
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 07:30 PM

Stem-cell therapy for pets now offered – and disputed – in Canada

‎

Subject: RE: BS: Ever more ridiculous 'news' headlines
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 05:30 PM

"Podgorny in Cairo"

Subject: RE: BS: Ever more ridiculous 'news' headlines
From: gnu
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 04:58 PM

Sory for the thread drift.

Subject: RE: BS: Ever more ridiculous 'news' headlines
From: gnu
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 03:26 PM

Gilles Duceppe IS ridiculous. I admire his dedication but his execution is flawed to the point that he does more harm than good for his cause.

Subject: RE: BS: Ever more ridiculous 'news' headlines
From: Q (Frank Staplin)
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 02:54 PM

Our Shaw Cable Home Page has one of these "Here we go again" lead stories-

Duceppe in D. C.: Quebec will win 'Berlin Wall' battle for independence.

Subject: RE: BS: Ever more ridiculous 'news' headlines
From: Melissa
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 02:50 PM

"Car-eating rabbits plague airport"
msn

Subject: RE: BS: Ever more ridiculous 'news' headlines
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 02:45 PM

"oyster jam probe shock"

I think that was one of the classics.

Subject: RE: BS: Ever more ridiculous 'news' headlines
From: Bill D
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 02:11 PM

Yahoo is way too ummmm... 'pop oriented'

Try Google News

Both can be found at http://refdesk.com/, along with links to most online newspapers from around the world, plus a host of stuff to keep you entertained...such as Hubble images.

Subject: RE: BS: Ever more ridiculous 'news' headlines
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 01:51 PM

A recent "news" article (that I'm too lazy to look up) reported on a speech by a reputable(?) neuro-biologist in which he discussed "what makes humans different from animals."

During the question period following his lecture, someone asked if a genetic modification of chimpanzees to increase their number of neurons would be possible and might make them "more human."

His replay was to the effect that "it certainly is something that's worth thinking about, but it's not currently something we'd try to do."

When a subsequent question asked if "it would be possible to increase the number of human neurons, and would it make humans better," his reply was

"It would certainly change reality TV."

There doesn't seem to me to be all that much difference betweeen Yahoo news and most "reality TV" so maybe it's a way to go(?).

John

Subject: RE: BS: Ever more ridiculous 'news' headlines
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 10:37 AM

Today we have:

The Diet Foods that Aren't!


and:

Supermodel Kate Moss Marries in Secret!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Ever more ridiculous 'news' headlines
From: LadyJean
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 12:53 AM

I don't know how headlines are written these days. I trained to be a print journalist, and had a real talent for writing heads. One is given so much space and has to write a head that will 1. grab the readers' attention 2. give the gist of the story and 3. fit the space.

It was kind of like writing haiku. I can still "Count heads." Each letter has a number value. A or b count as one. I, or small l count as 1/2. N counts as 1 1/2. M or w count as 2. A useless skill, since it's all done on computers now.

I agree that that one about Ms. Knightly is ridiculous. I had a piece in last Saturday's Post-Gazette about the stupidity of homophobia. The headline read "Gays Cause Trouble". Which meant I not only got nasty emails from homophobes. I got them from Gays too.

Subject: BS: Ever more ridiculous 'news' headlines
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Oct 10 - 10:19 PM

Something dreadful has happened to my Yahoo homepage of late. It used to have some real news headlines on it at the top. Now it generally has some stupid headline about something that is definitely not news, but rather idle gossip for people with the I.Q. of a dung beetle to focus their attention on.

Today's example:



KEIRA KNIGHTLEY STUNS IN PEEK-A-BOO DRESS!



God help us all. I will use this thread to record these ridiculous headlines daily as they appear. Feel free to do the same. It's getting very stupid out there. Very stupid indeed.