Obit: My Great Aunt Jarie

Subject: RE: Obit: My Great Aunt Jarie
From: Amergin
Date: 04 May 11 - 01:34 AM

Thank you all. You are right. I was indeed very fortunate to have had her in my life. Sunday was a beautiful day for a memorial. I saw many relatives I had not seen in years. Isn't it odd how people start coming out of the woodwork in the wake of a tragedy? Thank you again.

Subject: RE: Obit: My Great Aunt Jarie
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 02 May 11 - 11:13 PM

A beautiful and obviously well-deserved tribute. I am sorry for your loss, but you were blessed by her presence in your life. Remember the good times with her.

Subject: RE: Obit: My Great Aunt Jarie
From: olddude
Date: 02 May 11 - 02:10 PM

i am so sorry to read this
in my prayers

Subject: RE: Obit: My Great Aunt Jarie
From: fat B****rd
Date: 01 May 11 - 03:27 PM

Please accept my condolences, Amergin.
Best regards from Charlie.

Subject: RE: Obit: My Great Aunt Jarie
From: SINSULL
Date: 01 May 11 - 01:24 PM

A great lady. How lucky you are to have had her in your life. Continue to celebrate her life in your own, Nathan.
RIP

Subject: RE: Obit: My Great Aunt Jarie
From: gnu
Date: 01 May 11 - 01:18 PM

My condolences.

Janie... "You have given us a blessing in sharing so eloquently."

Indeed.

Thanks.

Subject: RE: Obit: My Great Aunt Jarie
From: Amergin
Date: 01 May 11 - 01:00 PM

Thank you....I wrote this for her...will be reading it today.

A Kiss of Farewell

It was all completely stated with a brief kiss,
Warm moist lips upon cold, pale flesh,
The tangy stench of death's corruption
Infiltrating the atmosphere, embracing the husk
You departed but a short time before.

It was a kiss, infused with the memories
Cursory flashes of moments, miniature one act plays
Continually presenting you by my side,
Trading anecdotes, mirth, and lamentations.

It was a kiss, that said all I could bring myself to say,
And all that genuinely demanded to be divulged,
As it spoke of love, and the selfish reasoning
Entreating you to remain, to abandon your path,
To the arms of those who went before,
Just to grace us with more fleeting seconds
Of your comforting physical presence.

But it was a brief kiss that stated it best,
Moist warm lips greeting cold cadaver,
Vacant of the specter it once sheltered,
Whispering words of parting endearment:
Slán abhaille, safe journey home.

nt

Subject: RE: Obit: My Great Aunt Jarie
From: katlaughing
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 11:46 PM

Much love and peace to you and your family and friends. What a Wonder she was and will continue to be through such beautiful sharings as you have given us, Nathan.

luvyakat

Subject: RE: Obit: My Great Aunt Jarie
From: Janie
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 09:50 PM

You have given us a blessing in sharing so eloquently.

Peace and comfort to you and all who knew and loved your remarkable Aunt Jarie.

Janie

Subject: RE: Obit: My Great Aunt Jarie
From: wysiwyg
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 09:45 PM

Superb, Nathan...

~S~

Subject: RE: Obit: My Great Aunt Jarie
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 09:14 PM

It appears that she left this world, with the same amount of love
that she brought to others God bless

Subject: RE: Obit: My Great Aunt Jarie
From: catspaw49
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 08:33 PM

All my best thoughts as well as my deepest sympathies for you and your family Nathan........sounds a great clan.............


Spaw

Subject: Obit: My Great Aunt Jarie
From: Amergin
Date: 30 Apr 11 - 08:24 PM

My great aunt Jarie was the 12th of 13 kids borne by my great grandparents. My maternal grandfather was the 13th. And over her 88 years she knew great love, and mourning, as she buried her parents, and her siblings one by one.

But, her love never wavered. Through out the years, she and her husband, my uncle Ed, had two children...and they took in many foster children, and treated each of them as if they were their own. In fact, the ones still left still think of her as "mom", and still hold her in their hearts. It wasn't just their own foster children they loved as their own, but even their charges' siblings, the ones too old to be in the system. They became parents by bonds stronger than that of blood, by those of the spirit and the heart.

Yet, the losses were still there. In 1991 she lost her natural son to AIDS, and her husband to diabetes a few years later. Also, some of her charges fell away to various ailments, those of the mind, spirit, and body. Then a couple of years ago, she lost her other natural child to cancer. Yet she still found joy....she found joy in the love of family, and her grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, those of blood and those of spirit.

Almost two months ago, she went into the hospital with pneumonia, and wasn't expected to make it, and so they let her go home under hospice care. I saw her a short while later, fading in and out of coherency, calling out to ghosts, the spectres of loved ones long gone, and believed I would get the phone call that very night, but i was surprised.

Two days later, she was up and about, the dementia of her illness gone as if it had never been. Unfortunately, she was still sick. She was diagnosed with stage four renal failure...and stubborn as that woman was, she realised she was going to die, but she wanted to go out on her own terms, so no dialysis. She still ate the same things she always did, although in smaller and smaller portions, she would still go outside and smoke. She would happily see and converse with the many relatives and friends, who streamed in and out to see her. She would do the things she enjoyed doing, within her limitations.

Then, she had her 88th birthday. it was such a great day for her, people walking in and out, wishing her happy birthday, giving her cards, presents, hugs, and kisses. Two of her former foster kids, made her a wonderful seafood birthday feast of oysters, shrimp, and crabs, along with the cake and pie. She was laughing, joking, and telling stories of her youth, and best of all sharing the love we had for her, and that she had for us, making us each feel, in that special way she had, the most important people in her life. A couple of days later, my grandparents drove home to North Idaho, knowing the failure could last anywhere from days to weeks to months.

A couple of weeks ago, my grandparents got the call to come back. The next day they drove back down to Portland. Aunt jarie was still with us, still doing things on her own terms, but the cracks were showing, the end was approaching. me and my mother would drive up there often, to be with her, to assist in anyway we could, and to provide support, and then last Saturday, the hospice nurse said it could be anytime within the next couple of weeks. Monday she revised her opinion and said within the next week.

This last Tuesday night, apparently she was being stubborn, and refusing to go to bed, even though she was falling asleep in her wheelchair, and then finally she went in, and immediately went to sleep. So my mother drove over there to let everyone else rest, and stayed up with her all that night.

I went up Wednesday morning, and went off with my grandfather to get him out of the house (gramma's orders)...so we spent the day in Portland doing guy things. We were on our way back to my aunt's when the call came in. Her breathing pattern apparently changed and very quickly her breaths grew farther and farther apart, until they stopped altogether, and she died at 1420 that afternoon. We missed her departure by 20 minutes.

We drove back, shared tears and hugs...and said goodbye to her body. Well, I did...my grandfather being of that generation where men don't openly weep, but their eyes get red. i stayed up there for a few hours, but my mother was fading fast, as she had not slept in 36 hours or so. As i was leaving i looked at the corpse of what was once my dear aunt Jarie, knelt over her and kissed the cold pale foreheard, and lightly brushed her hair back with my hand...and wished her a safe journey home. Then I left, driving mom home.

Tomorrow is her wake, reserved for family and close friends. There will be many people there weeping and loving, celebrating this amazing woman, and mourning her death.

Farewell, Aunt Jarie.

nt