BS: Christmas Wish Catalogues

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Wish Catalogues
From: gnu
Date: 30 Oct 11 - 06:01 PM

Hey buddy, can you spare a dime?

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Wish Catalogues
From: Q (Frank Staplin)
Date: 30 Oct 11 - 05:09 PM

conscientious?

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Wish Catalogues
From: Q (Frank Staplin)
Date: 30 Oct 11 - 05:06 PM

Hammacher Schlemmer Christmas Gifts

The Swiss Watchmaker's Boite a Musique-
A music box that transforms watch movement into "mellifluous melody." 4,144 parts, 3,800 wite pins that pluck two 72-note combs, each tooth tuned to a specific frequency.          Price $25,300.

The heated full-body Massage Chair-
Combines the "invigorating touch of a massage therapist's hands with the restorative sensation of hot stone therapy.      Price $7,000.

And a cheapie:
The Homemade Pet Treats Maker-
A dehydrator that gives "consciontious pet owners control over the quality of treats their pets eat.' '..... Transforms fruits, vegetables, meats and cookie dough into dried jerkey, crisp biscuits or avian seed cakes. The appliance comes with a book of 25 inventive recipes, such as sweet potato chews,....."   Price $59.25

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Wish Catalogues
From: Q (Frank Staplin)
Date: 30 Oct 11 - 03:42 PM

Bessemer Trust, in an October Sunday issue of the NY Times, had a full page adv. aimed at "smart investors." Minimum investment $10 million.

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Wish Catalogues
From: GUEST,999
Date: 30 Oct 11 - 09:14 AM

But, Leadfingers, they work sooooo hard for their pay. Surely you don't begrudge them a few million pounds a year with additional bonuses near the Christmas break? Hell, without these stalwart captains of business, where WOULD we all be?

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Wish Catalogues
From: Leadfingers
Date: 30 Oct 11 - 08:45 AM

GUEST Eliza - Does any one have that kind of money ?

Didnt you see that Company bosses in UK have , in this year of "We're all in this together" had pay increases AVERAGING Fifty Per Cent !!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Wish Catalogues
From: GUEST,999
Date: 30 Oct 11 - 08:21 AM

The Onion is offering the following for just $7.99 although it doesn't include shipping.

'Dept. Of Homeland Security Cologne
If you smell something, say something.

The exotic essence of the Far East is absolutely nowhere to be found in this almost inescapable new Department of Homeland Security fragrance.

Formulated by the personal perfumier to Janet Napoloitano, DHS contains essential oils of capsacin, sandalwood, eagle tears, non-Lebanon cedar, and guns. Notes of vigilance, musk, tonka bean, and black cordura pat down the senses to preserve comforting overtones of vanilla. And a cool, commanding base of conditioned orange infusions evoke the powerful agency's message that, while all may be serene for now, the future almost certainly holds a seductive hint of menace.

No, the products aren't real. But the empty boxes are. Wrap your otherwise forgettable gift in an Onion decoy gift box, and watch their faces fall when they realize there is no such thing as Homeland Security Cologne - just a crappy gift inside you waited until the last moment to buy.

Box dimensions: 12"x9"x4"'

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Wish Catalogues
From: GUEST,999
Date: 30 Oct 11 - 07:56 AM

"Perth (Australia) Mint unveils world's biggest gold coin"

I fully intended to purchase that coin. However, the cad in the picture has TOUCHED it, thus relegating said coin from Unc to AU in a trice. I shall have to tell Oswald not to pick it up when next in the colony. Pity. It would have made a nice addition to Esquire the Third's kennel. Life does have these occasional irritations.

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Wish Catalogues
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 30 Oct 11 - 07:16 AM

Q. said
The Royal Canadian Mint catalogue has some nice offerings. Take a look (they also have an online catalogue, www.mint.ca) at the 10,000 gram gold coin, with a denomination of $100,000. Price depends on gold price when you order plus a hefty add-on cost. The gold purity is 99.999.
In 2007, they produced a $1,000,000 gold coin of 100kg weight for the multi-millionaire collector."

Perth (Australia) Mint unveils world's biggest gold coin Weighing in at just over one tonne, the 99.99 per cent pure gold coin has been valued at more than $50 million.

A team of a dozen people have worked since late last year to create the coin which measures 80 centimetres wide and 12 centimetres deep, (read on)

Perth Mint website

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Wish Catalogues
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 29 Oct 11 - 09:27 PM

I am buying my grands an Advent calendar from the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York and my animal-loving friend in the UK a "symbolic adoption" of an animal from the World Wildlife Fund. I haven't decided which one I'll give her this year. I donate at a level that means they will send her a stuffed toy of the animal which I tell her to keep, give to a child, or donate to a hospital, shelter, or whatever. So far I think she has kept the ones I have sent, though goodness knows where she finds room for them!

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Wish Catalogues
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 29 Oct 11 - 02:25 AM

We caught the tail end of some ABC news show with Barbara Walters, Apparently there are more than 400 billionaires in the USA right now. There is a race to see who can buy the biggest yacht. It is nice to see that the "job creators" in this country are spending Bush's tax windfall so wisely contributing to future of this country, especially since so many of them are getting their yachts built in Italy.

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Wish Catalogues
From: catspaw49
Date: 28 Oct 11 - 11:23 PM

I had a late addition for all of the Christmas catalogs.....a really super gift, but everybody said I missed their deadline. So here it is at Mudcat, another fine product from Fly-By-Night Industries.

Have you noticed that as you age your defecation times can sometimes also be a part of your sleep cycle? If this is happening to you, I would suggest the latest Senior Citizen aid right along with those weird ass bath tubs with doors. The OSHA approved and AARP recommended "LCR" (Lap Crap Restraint), often called the Lapper Crapper, can prevent a rude awakening on the bathroom floor. Get the model with the optional shoulder restraint.

Cletus' company, Crappers on Casters, has installed them in all of their portapotties with excellent results. They often have to set up their units on very unlevel ground and the belts have served them well. No more complaints from people being thrown out the door during a good healthy shit simply because they released their grip on the wall bar.   At a very small Herman Cain rally in Ansted, West Virginia, one particularly rotund lady with a large firebox fell asleep reading his book and actually did a complete somersault as she crashed through the door. She then slid down the hill face first with her ass bouncing high in the air...... quite a sight ...... scared the hell out of two kids playing hopscotch on the shuffleboard court at the foot of the hill.

I also have taken over manufacturing and distribution rights for the product and hope to soon have an updated Blue Ribbon model with an added airbag feature. We had great success with the Amish-Australian Pitchfork Moustache Tuner and the Gordon Bok Fan and we expect this to go even better. We have installed these in every room at the Neil Young Center for the Terminally Screwed.....except for the "Elvis" and "Lenny Bruce" suites where you are free to wind up in a deceased state on the bathroom floor with your ass hanging out.

This device is now available from Fly-By-Night Industries, one of America's Foremost Manufacturers. We have been manufacturing Foremost for years and now also have the new and larger Fivemost available. All of our products come with a money back guarantee. Simply return the unused portion of the product and we will return the unused portion of your money.


Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Wish Catalogues
From: Q (Frank Staplin)
Date: 28 Oct 11 - 08:26 PM

Practical catalogues are LL Bean and Lands End; we buy from them frequently. We have bought items from Hammacher Schlemmer a couple of times.

One of the most frustrating catalogues is Macy's on line. We were looking for stud earrings for the girls, and the offerings covered 26 pages.

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Wish Catalogues
From: Wesley S
Date: 28 Oct 11 - 07:54 PM

The one I actually buy from is LL Bean. They do make good stuff. And I bought a travel coffee mug for my brother from Hammacher Schlemmer and he loves it.

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Wish Catalogues
From: Q (Frank Staplin)
Date: 28 Oct 11 - 07:42 PM

A downstairs maid is not a woman? Or are you into cross-genders?

My wife threw out the Hammacher Schlemmer, but it did have a fancy low vehicle- a type of motorcycle- for $35,000.
I liked their Holloween catalogue offering of a two-story inflatable cat. I know my neighbors would love it.

The Royal Canadian Mint catalogue has some nice offerings. Take a look (they also have an online catalogue, www.mint.ca) at the 10,000 gram gold coin, with a denomination of $100,000. Price depends on gold price when you order plus a hefty add-on cost. The gold purity is 99.999.
In 2007, they produced a $1,000,000 gold coin of 100kg weight for the multi-millionaire collector.

In the provincial series, a $300 - 14 karat gold coin for Nova Scotia, offered at only $2429.95.
For the poor, a gold (0.5g fine gold) 25 cent coin, with the head of a cougar, is only $79.95. The detail on these little coins, about the size of a man's shirt button, is amazingly detailed.
Sold out is a 1-kilogram silver coin. I don't think it would be very popular in the marketplace.

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Wish Catalogues
From: gnu
Date: 28 Oct 11 - 06:34 PM

Wesley... "And by the way - folding laundry is womens work....."

It most CERTAINLY IS NOT! I take umbrage! It's for one of the downstairs maids.

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Wish Catalogues
From: Wesley S
Date: 28 Oct 11 - 06:09 PM

But of course it's intended as a gift for one's servant. You wouldn't want them playing games on it would you??

And by the way - folding laundry is womens work.....

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Wish Catalogues
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 28 Oct 11 - 05:46 PM

But Wesley, doesn't ones butler fold ones laundry?

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Wish Catalogues
From: Wesley S
Date: 28 Oct 11 - 05:41 PM

That $45,000 table tennis table would make a great place to fold laundry.

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Wish Catalogues
From: Joe Offer
Date: 28 Oct 11 - 05:34 PM

Well, I always find the Heifer International catalogue interesting, but lately I've switched to The Hunger Project because I got tired of the catalogue gimmick and switched to a charity that offers programs to help people help themselves.
I gotta say that Nieman Marcus is fun to look at, but the charities give me longer satisfaction.
-Joe-

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Wish Catalogues
From: Q (Frank Staplin)
Date: 28 Oct 11 - 05:34 PM

A surprising number do. Sales are up in some areas, despite the crying on the part of many posters here.

Example- Calgary; a survey in a local magazine last month indicated 95% of those polled said it is easy to get a good job. Another slick Alberta magazine had a full page adv. from the Calgary Bentley dealer (drool- but that's all I can do about it).

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Wish Catalogues
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 28 Oct 11 - 05:20 PM

I'll have the gold cuff bracelet please! Seriously though, does anyone nowadays have that sort of money?

Subject: BS: Christmas Wish Catalogues
From: Q (Frank Staplin)
Date: 28 Oct 11 - 05:16 PM

Any interesting catalogues in your mail? Items that make you drool? Or shake your head in wonder?
Received an online listing of the Neiman Marcus (Dallas, etc.) catalogue today. A few items that caught my eye.
Gifts for the kids
-a Gucci childrens' handbag - $450.
Gifts for her
-LaMer Moisture Cream - $1650
-Gold cuff bracelet - $21,000.   
-Prada tote bag - $1490.
-Chanel No. 5 Gift Box - $1800.
Gifts for him
-Pyjamas, Burbury - $495.
-Panasonic Mens Shaver - $500.

I received a Hammacher Schlemmer Catalogue in the mail. I will look at it when I eat my dinner tonight (thrown together tired vegetable and sausage stew) and post a few of their goodies.