BS: Redneck Elevator or Spaw 'n the Regs

Subject: RE: BS: Redneck Elevator or Spaw 'n the Regs
From: Banjer
Date: 12 Apr 02 - 07:18 PM

I appropriated this little story from the back of a magazine published locally by one of our automotive parts warehouses. NAPA used to, and may still, publish a bi-monthly booklet similar to this one. It just contains a lot of advertising for their lines and a few tidbits of trivia and stories.

Subject: RE: BS: Redneck Elevator or Spaw 'n the Regs
From: katlaughing
Date: 12 Apr 02 - 06:42 PM

Great suggestion, Spaw!

I'd forgotten that, CapriUni! We oughta make him song it! LOL

Subject: RE: BS: Redneck Elevator or Spaw 'n the Regs
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Apr 02 - 03:12 PM

Ha! Ha! Ha! Best redneck joke I've heard yet!

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Redneck Elevator or Spaw 'n the Regs
From: CapriUni
Date: 12 Apr 02 - 01:27 PM

Kat --

When I heard the report of Ashcroft's group, the Singing Senators (I think that's it's name), I thought immediately of the Song Challenge! that was posted awhile back, about Ashcroft's covering up the statue of Justice, because of its "lewdness"...

At this rate, Ashcroft will become a whole subgenre of Mudcat satire... *EG*

Subject: RE: BS: Redneck Elevator or Spaw 'n the Regs
From: catspaw49
Date: 12 Apr 02 - 12:13 PM

So maybe he can use a litle WD-40 on his and Dubya's brains and some duct tape on their mouths.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Redneck Elevator or Spaw 'n the Regs
From: katlaughing
Date: 12 Apr 02 - 12:08 PM

LMAO...that's a good one, Banj!

Hey, I heard on NPR, yesterday that not only does the Attorney General Ashcroft sing, he's also appropriated an old "saw" which has been bandied about for years, as his own and will be quoted in the NYTimes Sunday Magazine as having said it: the old one about you only need two things in life, duct tape and WD40. Duct tape to secure anything that won't stay put and WD40 to loosen up things that won't go, or some such like that! Wonder how he'd feel about our Duct Tape thread?!**BG**

Subject: RE: BS: Redneck Elevator or Spaw 'n the Regs
From: catspaw49
Date: 12 Apr 02 - 11:50 AM

Geez, that would have been a great Cletus and the Boys story Banj....you're right!!!!

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Redneck Elevator or Spaw 'n the Regs
From: Fortunato
Date: 12 Apr 02 - 09:39 AM

I like it, Banjer. Where did you get it?

Subject: RE: BS: Redneck Elevator or Spaw 'n the Regs
From: Banjer
Date: 12 Apr 02 - 05:59 AM

Dunno wha' happened...the first line SHOULD READ:

Why did Spaw and Reg and the boys come to mind when I read this??

Subject: BS: Redneck Elevator or Spaw 'n the Regs
From: Banjer
Date: 12 Apr 02 - 05:57 AM

Why du=id Spaw and Reg and the boys come to mind when I red this??


Redneck Elevator

A redneck family from the hills was visiting the city and they were in a mall for the first time in their life.

The father and son were strolling around while the wife shopped. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then back together again. The boy asked, "Paw, What's that?"

The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, 'Son, I dunno. I ain't never seen anything like that in my entire life, I ain't got no idea what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching in amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room.

The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially.

They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in reverse order. Then the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24 year old blonde woman stepped out. The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, "Boy, go git yor momma…."