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BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!!
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: dick greenhaus Date: 22 Jan 03 - 01:02 AM ...when the only parts that don't hurt are the ones that don't work. O hell. Getting old beats the alternative. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Liz the Squeak Date: 21 Jan 03 - 04:45 PM When you have to keep checking posts like this because you can't remember if you posted that really interesting thing you thought of last night... but bugger me if I haven't gone and forgotten what it was.... LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: beadie Date: 21 Jan 03 - 04:23 PM In Wisconsin (still America's Dairyland), oleomargarine was outlawed until the early 70's. There was a State Senator from Darlington named Gordon Roseliep who made a huge name for himself every year by arguing passionately about all of the perceived evils of the dreaded white stuff with the little yellow dye packet. A lot of folks made regular "butter runs" (for fun and profit)to Illinois and Minnesota to smuggle cartons of the stuff back into the Wisconsin. Incidently, Roseliep was also the legislator who once argued against allowing pharmacies to display any contraceptive information, advertising, or items where customers (of any age) could see them. He reasoned that if poor folks learned about these immoral things, they would quit having kids and the military would run out of people to draft (the man actually said that on the floor of the Senate in open session). |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Genie Date: 20 Jan 03 - 09:23 PM You remember when oleomargarine only came in white, with a little packet of condensed yellow food coloring inside it that you would press open and 'massage'into the margarine inside the plastic package to make it yellow. For you youngsters, this was because the dairy industry had lobbied to get legislation prohibiting butter's competitor (margarine) from being sold with the yellow color already added. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Genie Date: 20 Jan 03 - 09:18 PM You remember Grapette and Nehi orange soda. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Gray D Date: 20 Jan 03 - 07:51 PM This is a "man" thing as far as I know (ladies, correct me if I'm wrong) but the surest sign of ageing for us chaps is when we start making that "Eeeeeyuhh" sound when we have to bend down and pick something up . . . or get out of a chair . . . or lower ourselves into a chair . . . or . . . well, you get the message. Men who have not noticed themselves doing this but now start to do so may sink into gloom and despondency when they recognise the trait in themselves. Don't worry, you'll soon forget all about it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: wilco Date: 20 Jan 03 - 05:49 PM I don't know if there are restaurants that are decorated like our "Cracker Barrel Old Country Stores" in other countries. The walls and ceilings are covered with old tools, farm inplements, household appliances, metal signs, etc. bascily, they look like an old junk store, where everything ahs been dusted. I knew that I was getting old when I could identify all the old junk. My first real "old age scare" was when the children of some of my former teams' players started showing-up on my soccer teams that I coached!!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Genie Date: 20 Jan 03 - 04:43 PM You remember Richard Crenna from "Our Miss Brooks" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: alanabit Date: 19 Jan 03 - 12:38 PM When the most exciting thing you do in bed is finish the crossword. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: gnu Date: 19 Jan 03 - 07:46 AM Falling asleep in the rocker just before the show that you were staying up for comes on. And I didn't have the sense to put the VCR on record ! Even moreso, after sleeping in the rocker for 2.5 hours, my neck wasn't sore. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Sandra in Sydney Date: 19 Jan 03 - 07:26 AM The joke about young Police Officers came true last week - he really MUST have been straight out of Police College, even tho he looked like he would have had to produce Proof-of-age if he went near a bar. My latest office ID (taken on a digital camera) makes me look like a Russian grandmother - greying hair pulled back from my face (incidently into a pony tail on top of my head!) - but I do look like a Russian woman I knew 20 years ago. Still it's better than my first ID, taken 13 years ago, where I looked like a something on a police poster - armed-terrorist-shoot-on-sight. Intervening pics were better, but ... sandra (51 in 3 weeks) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: rock chick Date: 18 Jan 03 - 06:58 PM Instead of getting taller you found you have shrunk 1/4" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 17 Jan 03 - 11:50 PM The measure of your life begins to weighed in MudCat postings. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Roxanne Date: 17 Jan 03 - 05:21 PM Being too tired to go out on a Friday night. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: beadie Date: 17 Jan 03 - 03:53 PM Kaiser Fraser automobiles (what old man Kaiser did after the Navy had no more use for liberty ships) Brusha brusha brusha, new Ipana toothpaste Car 54, where are you? Mel Brooks, Howie Morris, Larry Gelbart, Woody Allen, et al as staff writers for Sid Caeser's TV show 3 speed bicycles were called "English bikes" In rural Wisconsin, directions were given in terms of cheese factories. (Go north on highway C until you come to the third cheese factory, turn left and go about a half mile past the first cheese factory on the right) One-room schoolhouses Ahhh, . . . |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Genie Date: 17 Jan 03 - 03:06 PM From the DT: Every Year |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Jeanie Date: 17 Jan 03 - 02:00 PM I had not intended posting to this thread, imagining that it didn't apply to me - which, in hindsight, is probably the most telling symptom of all.... BUT... to my horror I found myself getting really rather rivetted to the Indoor Bowls Championships on TV today. And that set me looking for other signs: - I have started fancying men with grey hair - There are good programmes on Radio 4 - The Edinburgh Wool Shop has had some lovely sweaters in stock lately - Most of the songs on "Top of the Pops 2" the other night were *after* my time Is this IT, then ? (I have set my daughter on "Hot water bottle, talcum powder and Damart catalogue alert") - jeanie |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: MikeofNorthumbria Date: 15 Jan 03 - 10:34 AM When a friend you haven't seen lately asks "How are you?", and you tell them ... in detail. Wassail! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Amos Date: 15 Jan 03 - 09:45 AM From a friend: I. started out with nothing, and I still have most of it. 2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran. 3. I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart. 4. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded... 4. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded... 5. All reports are in; life is now officially unfair. 6. If all is not lost, where is it? 7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser. 8. Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant. 9. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few... 10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents. 11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids. 12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. 13. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom. 14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees. 15. When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess? 16. It's not hard to meet expenses.... they're everywhere. 17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. 18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter .. I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm here after. 19. I AM UNABLE TO REMEMBER IF I HAVE MAILED THIS TO YOU OR NOT! 20. Funny, I don't remember being, . . . absent minded... Now I think you're supposed to send this to 5 or 6, maybe 10, oh send it to a bunch of your friends if you can remember who they are. Then something is supposed to happen, I think. Maybe you get your memory back |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Roger the Skiffler Date: 13 Jan 03 - 10:24 AM When Twice a night means getting up to pee. When your arms get so short you can't read the newspaper or put your socks on. When you get given the Seniors concessions without asking. When people ask you "what is skiffle". When your clothes are back in fashion again (again). RtS (I think I'm losing the will to go on, Nurse, the screens! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: GUEST,Claymore Date: 13 Jan 03 - 10:07 AM Hey when God made the Sun, I was bitching about the light... But seriously I got all forty some odd of them, although I thought Froggy had a Magic Bonger... "Hiya kids Hiya", and the really old Coke machines had the bottles sitting upright in a maze of rails, and you slid the bottle down to a little door, put in your dime, and the bottle lifted out. If you were a Juvenile Delinquent, you waited until everyone was gone and hosted yourself up on the grate to pop the tops off with an opener and stick a straw in to drink several of them dry. If you can remember: Riding in a Studebaker next to your mothers feet so your face would be next to the air vent. Running behind a DDT truck fuming the neighborhood. Moving out of the city during the summer polio season. Duck and Cover drills in school. Coloring books that taught you how to pick out a "Jap" from a crowd of Chinese. Zoot suits When television was black and white and round; you went to your neighbors to see one, and there was only one station, which was on for four hours an evening, and the rest of the time displayed a target that went doooooooooo! But you are really old when you wear your "Hello, My Name Is..." sticker upside down and refer to it frequently in conversations. And for the ladies; if your 36 D's went to 42 Longs |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Amos Date: 13 Jan 03 - 08:45 AM Smilin Jack wasn't on DIck Tracy -- he was a separate and equal comic strip in his own right, alongside The Phantom. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Troll Date: 13 Jan 03 - 08:40 AM For me, it was the day I called from the bathroom, "Honey, I don't look like a 60-year-old man, do I?" And she called back, "No. But you USED TO." SIGH troll |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Ebbie Date: 13 Jan 03 - 02:28 AM Does anyone remember 'Smilin' Jack'? (Was he on Dick Tracy?) You never saw his face full on, not more than a three-quarter view, too handsome, I guess, but one year they promised that soon he would turn and face the reader. Lots of little teasers. Then on the Christmas Day strip, there he was- full face, in all his glory- behind a Santa Claus beard... Eb |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Bert Date: 13 Jan 03 - 12:27 AM Just a few things to add to Rustric Rebel's list. The biggest aspisistra in the world Vera Lynn Alvar Lydell Pom Chad Whale meat The smell of air raid shelters Land Girls (and yes of course I was in love with one.) Coupons The Marlow Donkey Conchies Spitfires Monday Night at Eight O'Clock Much Binding in the Marsh Sam Costa British Restaurants |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Stilly River Sage Date: 12 Jan 03 - 11:55 PM Yuck. What a mean-spirited place, that "ugly people" link. And they have the nerve to ask for money. Hope they go away real soon. . . |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Stilly River Sage Date: 12 Jan 03 - 11:50 PM Ooooh, Rustic Rebel, I'm not so old as to not read your meaning into that! Whew! Did I forget to take my HRT this morning? What a flush. . . (ha!) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: *daylia* Date: 12 Jan 03 - 10:41 PM If aging is starting to get you down, check this out! Not even musicians can run and hide ... daylia |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Rustic Rebel Date: 12 Jan 03 - 04:08 AM Thread Drift; What was the dirtiest thing said on T.V. in the fifties? "Ward-You were a little hard on the Beaver last night." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: GUEST,Genie Date: 12 Jan 03 - 03:46 AM -The original Smilin' Ed (with Froggie The Gremlin and Midnight The Cat, who played the violin) -Kukla, Fran & Ollie -Big John & Sparky -Buck Rogers serials at the 25-cent movies -3-cent first-class postage stamps -glass pop bottles that had a 10-cent deposit on them -Captain Video and the Video Ranger -radio dramas like "Johnny Dollar and His Action-Packed Expense Account," "Gunsmoke," "The Shadow" -Betsy Wetsy dolls and if you're REALLY old, -Lydia Pinkham's Vegetable Compound |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: open mike Date: 12 Jan 03 - 02:58 AM has no-one mentioned drive-in movies? curb feelers? and we had one next to the drive-in: a trampoline place where there were pits and the trampolines were set sown in them so the tops were even with the ground. and how about burma shave signs? (the Verse By The Side Of The Road is a book about them) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Stephen L. Rich Date: 11 Jan 03 - 11:44 PM What about "Andy's Gang" or the twenty-three different farm kids who owned Lassie. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Amos Date: 11 Jan 03 - 09:41 PM Princess Summer-Spring-Winter-Fall? Big Chief Thunderthud? Clarabelle's seltzer bottle and Aoogah horn? The original Kowabunga sound-byte, long before turtles had names? Nash Ramblers and "Love Forever True" on AM? National Velvet and Tom ("This is my song! This is my song!") Thumb?. Hand-scooped doubledecker cones for 15 cents? And "Wait for Meeee, Wild Bill!" (Sugar Pops are Tops!). Guess you hadda been there, huh? When the only serious cutthroat competition was between PF Flyers and Keds? A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: ballpienhammer Date: 11 Jan 03 - 09:33 PM open mike, there's still lots of Lionels around BUT do you remember Mar-X trains? Or, going to the savings bank at Christmas time with Dad, the teller gave each kid a tin bank.; shootin' marbles, playing mumblety-peg? Dig? Boom or Bust? Flinch? Howdy Doody, Ding Dong School, Flash Gordon, Bobby Benson and the B Bar B Riders, Space Cadets, Sky King? Hudson Hornet cars? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Liz the Squeak Date: 11 Jan 03 - 08:04 PM Genie - you've met Manitas then..... he's rather older than me.... LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: open mike Date: 11 Jan 03 - 08:00 PM what's moxie? and Lionel trains got left out of the list... esp, the ones with the little pellets that made smoke come out the smoke stack! mine didn't have smoke except fromthe transformer when it ran too long and too fast! i sure do remember the smell of that transformer when it was hot, though! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Amos Date: 11 Jan 03 - 07:10 PM Glads to hear it Mark. In the Fifties it was still a contender in those parts, as I remember it! :>) A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Mark Cohen Date: 11 Jan 03 - 05:58 PM They still make Moxie, Amos. At least, they did when I was in Maine (Topsham/Freeport) in 1990. Good stuff! Wish we could get it here in the islands. Aloha, Mark |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Genie Date: 11 Jan 03 - 04:49 PM Don, I was gonna add, "You know you're old if you remember:" Kaiser-Frazier automobiles Packards Nash Ramblers Studebakers The Edsel You're also no spring chicken if you ever worked as a car hop. (My nieces and nephews probably have no idea what a car hop was!) Genie |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: ballpienhammer Date: 11 Jan 03 - 04:44 PM First thing to go is your hearing; Second thing to go is your eyesight; and I can't remember the third one... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Genie Date: 11 Jan 03 - 04:42 PM "Met an old flame, and she was so old, she didn't recognize me." LMAO, Kendall! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: brother Date: 11 Jan 03 - 04:32 PM You know you're getting old when people say "do you remember" and you do. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Don Firth Date: 11 Jan 03 - 04:20 PM The first automobile I remember my father owning was one of THESE. The next one was one of THESE. The first time I ever flew (in the early Forties, a scenic flight of about twenty minutes duration for $5.00), it was in one of THESE. The first time I flew someplace (Seattle to Spokane in the late Forties) it was in one of THESE. The second time I flew someplace (back and forth between Seattle to Denver several times in 1955-56) it was in one of THESE. Don Firth |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Amos Date: 11 Jan 03 - 04:05 PM "Gee! THANKS, Missus Cleaver!" "You're welcome, Wally!" "C'mon, Beave!! Let's go!!" "Awwww....I can't. I got homework." LOL |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Tiger Date: 11 Jan 03 - 03:36 PM You betchum, L'il Beaver! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: GUEST,Gloredhel--too lazy to sign in Date: 11 Jan 03 - 03:13 PM Rustic Rebel--on that list, the only two things I actually remember are way down near the bottom--metal ice cube trays with levers and Studebakers, because we actually own and use both. Of course, those items were manufactured when my dad was in high school.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Joe_F Date: 11 Jan 03 - 02:57 PM All the candidates for U.S. president are younger than you are. The hair on top of your head isn't thick enough to keep the front hairs back. You get another meal when you floss your teeth. Before you do anything, you have to do something else, usually piss. More people pass you on the sidewalk than you pass. You catch yourself thinking of people in their 20s as kids. You see an obituary & say "Was that old bastard still alive?" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Amos Date: 11 Jan 03 - 01:46 PM You really gotta get on in years not to recognize Kendall!! LOL!! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: GUEST,Kendall Date: 11 Jan 03 - 12:45 PM I went to my high school class 50th reunion. Met an old flame, and she was so old, she didn't recognize me. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Genie Date: 11 Jan 03 - 12:29 PM Or, Liz, how about: never really getting drunk any more, 'cause you fall asleep after two beers! Genie |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Liz the Squeak Date: 11 Jan 03 - 12:09 PM Planning things to actually get up and do on a Sunday, rather than knowing you will spend it in bed with a Grade II listed hangover and a bucket. LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: GUEST,Nancy King at work Date: 11 Jan 03 - 12:08 PM A while back my 30-year-old son was remarking that he was finding it difficult to meet people (i.e., women to date) in his new community. "Hang out with the local folk group," I said, having had pretty good luck with that strategy myself. "Mom," he said in that tone common to all sons, "They're all YOUR age." Cheers, Nancy |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: boglion Date: 11 Jan 03 - 10:34 AM One sign of aging is when you use the weekends to recover from a hard week rather than the other way round. I started doing that a long time ago. What's the next sign I wonder??? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Strupag Date: 11 Jan 03 - 10:19 AM I'm sorry, I seem to have forgotten the just of this thre... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Genie Date: 11 Jan 03 - 09:49 AM Thanks, Amos. Of course, Topper! I us'ta know that but haven't been able to recall the name recently. Must be early stage Alzheimer's! (If you can make a crack like that and be 100% sure you're just kidding, you know you're NOT getting old yet!) Genie |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: catspaw49 Date: 11 Jan 03 - 09:15 AM You waste your money on Viagra Bobertz.......Next time go with the generic instead. It's called Mycoxaphailin. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Bobert Date: 11 Jan 03 - 09:06 AM Amos: Nah! Ain't me... Ahhh, I got a bottle of 'em Viagras and the P-Vine found 'em and thru 'em in the well. Couldn't get the pump handle down fir two weeks... Bobert |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Gareth Date: 11 Jan 03 - 05:10 AM When you see Railway Locomotives, that were brand new in your youth, stuffed and mounted in Museams. (Vide D8000 at York RM) Gareth |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Liz the Squeak Date: 11 Jan 03 - 03:29 AM Thanks.. When I reach my 40's I'll think of that.... You know you're ageing when you pick up a flash mag (sorry, soft porn, 'dirty' magazine) and: a) can't remember what you saw in them 20 years ago b) read the articles c) find your daughter on the cover (Poor old Clint Eastwood.....) LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: mg Date: 11 Jan 03 - 03:04 AM I would tell "friend" to tell the pharmacist that if they want your business they should properly train the young lady. No excuse for that sort of nonsense. mg |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Amos Date: 11 Jan 03 - 03:00 AM Besides his horse, Hoppy had a few sidekicks of notable fame, the first being George "Gabby" Hayes, who was known by the handle "Windy." Gabby was also John Wayne's sidekick, and he even traveled with Roy Rogers. Also at Hoppy's side was a character named "California," an ex-Keystone Kop of silent films by the name of Andy Clyde. He was like a small kid never making his own judgment calls. Boyd was a businessman as well in that he bought up the rights in the late 30's to the films that he had made under the Hoppy banner. It left him very financially broken at the time, but he hung in and held on to the rights. When he signed a deal with NBC in 1948, Hoppy was paid a very big amount of money for use of the Hoppy movies. He also was paid royalties from the sale of Hoppy endorsed items ranging from milk to saddle chaps. Bill Boyd did well from that day forward, and he laughed all the way to the bank. Topper, his horse, died in 1960, followed by its groom a short time later. Bill Boyd took the events as an omen and decided to hang up his spurs and retire. Boyd spent his later years living quietly in Palm Desert, California, where he was happy to walk the streets unrecognized. Bill once said, "In 1935, I met a man I admired ? I became that man and I loved him. Hoppy was the good side of Bill Boyd." In 1972, William "Hopalong Cassidy" Boyd died of a brain tumor. From Percival Friend -- http://www.geocities.com/percivalafriend/friend072902.htm A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Amos Date: 11 Jan 03 - 02:55 AM Topper. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: GUEST,Genie (who forgot to log in) Date: 11 Jan 03 - 01:44 AM -Someone tells you your sleeves need ironing, and you are wearing a tank top. -You ask for requests from the audience at a nursing home gig, and they start requesting songs you danced to in high school! -kendall, how about "The CANDIDATES all look like kids!" -Liz (Asking a colleague about an event you remember well from your 20's only to have another colleague tell you that's the year they were born....) Try "...an event (or celebrity) you remember from your 30s or 40s!" *BG* Peter T -- Wow! (Mind you, I thought this was s'posed to be a silly thread, but yer on the verge of gettin' all PROFOUND on us, there.) Mary, One small consolation for turning 60 is that you get to be called a "sexagenerian." (Well, take it any way you can, I guess. Right?) LOL, Bobert! Genie BTW, can one of you other geezers remind me what Hopalong Cassidy's horse's name was? Been tryin' to think of it for months, and I just can't! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Amos Date: 10 Jan 03 - 10:42 PM Hey, man, it could be worse -- much worse -- PVine could say it wasn't worth it! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Bobert Date: 10 Jan 03 - 10:40 PM WARNING, WARNING: Bobert was abducted by aliens and did not write the previous post. Nope, must have been an alien. Danged aliens. Getting into everything. Worser than mice... Awww, never-the-heck-mind... NaNuu, NaNuu |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Bobert Date: 10 Jan 03 - 10:31 PM VIAGRA... Speakin' of which, like I work in this small town where everyone knows everyone and also everyone's business and so like this friend of mine... (Ahhh, yeah right, Bobert? Like these folks gonna belive this really ain't about you?) Okay, so "this friend of mine" went down to the Leesburg Pharmacy to pick up his first perscription for ahhhhh, you know... Viagra. Well, Saturday afternoon is that time when just aboutm everyone who lives in Leesburg is at the pharmacy pickin' up their perscriptions... Doc Lillis had called it in and so everything was supposed to go real smooth. Right? Well, when my "friend" got there on a busy Saturday afternoon, the perscription was not in the "F" bin for "friend" so the 17 year old girl with the tight sweater asked my "friend" what the perscription was for. Hmmmmmm? What's a "friend" to do? Viagra, "friend" whispered to the tight sweatered 17 year old girl... Bad idea, "friend"! "Hey, "friend" is here to pick up his Viagra perscription!" yelled the 17 year old tight sweatered girl to the pharmacist loud enough for it to be heard by the 30 folks waiting on their perscriptions. Then there was this big *hush*. You know the kind.... Then everyone just looked down at the floor like they didn't hear a danged thing... Yeah right!?!?!... Danged, if I see that girl on the street... opps. I mean, if my friend sees that girl on the street he'll.... Bobert p.s. My "friend's" wife says that what ever embarassment that my "friend" went thru was well worth it................. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Bill D Date: 10 Jan 03 - 09:28 PM "42. When service stations provided air for your tires for free." well SO far, I have never paid for air!...I know where the stations are that still have a free air hose. (and I remember all them things from radio & early TV...and Sky King and Red Ryder and all...I used to wear two (cap) guns facing backwards and practice cross-drawing like Red Ryder did. ) and the way I knew I was growing up is when it bagan to bother me that Roy Rogers & Gene Autry, etc, had Ford station wagons, but still had gunfights and chased bad guys on horseback... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Deckman Date: 10 Jan 03 - 08:44 PM HEY! Red Ryder BB GUNS were the best! Bob |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: khandu Date: 10 Jan 03 - 08:12 PM Sorry. I must apologize. I misread the thread title. I thought it said "Top ways to tell you are a Ging". I had no idea what a Ging was, so it threw me off. Now that I have seen my mistake, I re-read the whole tamale. Yeah, it is funny. k |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: vindelis Date: 10 Jan 03 - 08:12 PM The suits your grandmother used to wear, become fashionable again, - and suit you. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: khandu Date: 10 Jan 03 - 08:09 PM I relate to none of this. You people are talking Greek to me. What's this all about? I am confused. Could somebody help me out here? Is this some kind of code? Wha? What did you say? Is there anyone here that makes some sort of sense? That's it! No more of this prattle! I'm leaving! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Amos Date: 10 Jan 03 - 08:04 PM Well, ya gotta add Rootie Kazootie and Polka-Dottie to that list, along with Cecil and Beanie, Captain Video and the Ranger, Our Gang, Froggie of the Magic Twanger, and Mister Science. Fireballs, 10-cent DC comics (Green Lantern, Batman, and a whole array of American GI comics), green-glass Coke bottles, and Moxie!! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Mary in Kentucky Date: 10 Jan 03 - 07:56 PM I knew dirt when it was still a rock. My first experience at the "awareness" Spaw talked about was when my daughter was 12 and we were walking through a crowd. As the crowd parted I noticed that the men were looking at her instead of me! (Every male should have a daughter...and live to see her grow up!) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Cluin Date: 10 Jan 03 - 07:41 PM 42. When service stations provided air for your tires for free. What will disappear next? No charge for "toothpick & water"? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Stephen L. Rich Date: 10 Jan 03 - 07:32 PM You're old when you realize that you have children older than your doctor. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 10 Jan 03 - 07:19 PM I scored 20! Yeee-hah!!! I'm older than dirt! (Either that or I've got a very good memory...) Still, I know people who are considerably older than me. Where do they fit in? Here are some more things to add to the list: 26. Burma-Shave 27. Wind-up metal toy animals that shoot sparks from their mouths 28. Cap guns 29. Red Ryder rifles 30. Alleys & marbles that each look unique 31. Flash Gordon, Buck Rogers, and Ming the Merciless 32. Shaving brushes & soap in a wooden bowl with a lid 33. Steam engines 34. Model T Fords 35. Duesenbergs 36. Cords (the automobiles, I mean) 37. The Super G Constellation (beautiful airliner) 38. Sputnik 39. Checkers (the dog) 40. Bonzo (the chimp) 41. Felix the Cat - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Bill D Date: 10 Jan 03 - 06:53 PM "Once a king, always a king- but once a knight's enough." "I'm not as good as I once was, but I'm as good once as I ever was" (seriously...the only thing that convinced me I had to take 'age' seriously was: 1st, when the AARP started chasing me, and 2nd, when the government started sending me money for lasting this long!) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Bill D Date: 10 Jan 03 - 06:47 PM old age is when you can't take 'yes' for an answer. I am a bit worried...I think I may have....ummm.....Whatzisname's disease. "Just because there's snow on the roof, it doesn't mean the fire's out in the hearth" Isn't is interesting how often "Mature Wisdom" resembles "Too Tired"? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Amos Date: 10 Jan 03 - 06:35 PM RR, I remember every one of them, and I am not older than dirt. I have irrefutable proof of this, because I also remember lots of dirt, which always much older than I was. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: maire-aine Date: 10 Jan 03 - 06:22 PM This is only slightly related, but so cute. There is a wonderful, sweet older gentleman (70s at least) that I know, and he observed the little old gents used to get hugs and kisses from pretty young girls because they were thought to be 'harmless'. Since the advent of Viagra, he said, the pretty young girls don't hug the little old gents any more. That's kind of sad, in a way. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Rustic Rebel Date: 10 Jan 03 - 06:20 PM I just had this in my mail, thought it fit the thread; Older Than Dirt Quiz Count all the ones that you remember- not the ones you were told about! Ratings at the bottom. 1. Blackjack chewing gum 2. Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water 3. Candy cigarettes 4. Soda pop machines that dispensed bottles 5. Coffee shops with tableside jukeboxes 6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers 7. Party lines 8. Newsreels before the movie 9. P.F. Flyers 10. Butch wax 11.Telephone numbers with a word prefix (Olive-6633) 12. Peashooters 13. Howdy Doody 14. 45 RPM records 15. S&H Green Stamps 16. Hi-fi's 17. Metal ice trays with lever 18. Mimeograph paper 19. Blue flashbulb 20. Packards 21. Roller skate keys 22. Cork popguns 23. Drive-ins 24. Studebakers 25. Wash tub wringers If you remembered 0-5 = You're still young If you remembered 6-10 = You are getting older If you remembered 11-15 = Don't tell your age If you remembered 16-25 = You're older than dirt! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Liz the Squeak Date: 10 Jan 03 - 05:49 PM It's not the grey hairs in your underarms that matter........ Asking a colleague about an event you remember well from your 20's only to have another colleague tell you that's the year they were born..... Having to explain the plots of films like Basic Instinct, The Great Escape, The Italian Job and Fatal Attraction to the same colleague! LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Homeless Date: 10 Jan 03 - 05:40 PM When you see a hot young girl dressed to the nines with her okay-looking mother, and decide you prefer the mother. When you go to shoot pictures of a college frat house, and when walking around the corner surprise a couple of frat boys there who were saying, "...and then we got stoned." Then as they see you they try to cover with "Yeah, those stonings are pretty bad, aren't they?" (Jeez, I ain't that old yet. And I lived in the generation that caused the "war on drugs"). My boss says, "When the high point of your day is taking out your teeth." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Rustic Rebel Date: 10 Jan 03 - 05:03 PM I meant to say- "plucking gray hairs from my underarms!" Add to my list forgetting how to spell, or just plain forgetting. I'm sure I have said this before, that I belong to the C.R.A.F.T. club, (can't remember a fucking thing) but I can't remember. Peace, Rustic |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Deckman Date: 10 Jan 03 - 04:55 PM My aging clue is when I start to avoid threads such as this! CHEERS, Bob |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Mary in Kentucky Date: 10 Jan 03 - 04:48 PM My 85-year-old uncle says that the nice thing about getting older is that so many more girls/women look good to him! (Spaw, forget about looking at those "hard bodies" on the beach.) Mary (who is older than Spaw) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: C-flat Date: 10 Jan 03 - 04:04 PM When you start checking the obituary page to make sure you're not in! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Bert Date: 10 Jan 03 - 03:42 PM When you find some sheet music from your teens - in an antique store. When you listen to an oldies program on the radio and the songs are all AFTER your time. When you realise that your favorite "Do Who" actors are all dead. I still like looking at the young girls though. And one of the advantages of getting older is that there are lots more girls who are younger than you. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: catspaw49 Date: 10 Jan 03 - 03:18 PM ANNETTE is still a class act. Always has been....... Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: MMario Date: 10 Jan 03 - 03:18 PM EEEEYYYYUUUUOOOOOO! LH! I'm gonna have nightmares for a freekin' week! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: mg Date: 10 Jan 03 - 03:17 PM you know..I just reread this and realized I could do this right now. I have taken the classes for foster parenting..I can't take in kids right now..maybe later..but I did sign up for respite care for other foster parents. Something happened to my application and it is in limbo somewhere...without a car I can't go to someone's house, with buses the way they are here...but they could at least bring young babies to me...at least on the weekends...with the heater the way it is I couldn't have toddlers but maybe very young babies..I shall check into it. I could take them to the ocean on nice days. Sounds like a plan. mg |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Amos Date: 10 Jan 03 - 03:17 PM Not only have you dislocated your icons, LH, but I think you are confused about where your mind is!! LOL! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 10 Jan 03 - 03:12 PM I've been finding it a big relief looking at pretty young girls lately and NOT feeling like I was still 25. It's a load off my mind, I can tell you. Peter T. - Good stuff!!! I think another way to tell you are aging is to look at a recent picture of William Shatner, preferably clad in a thong-type bathing suit, and think...Gosh! Bill's getting kind of...old! He's a little overweight too. Sort of flabby around the butt. When did that happen??? Where has the time gone? What does this MEAN????!! Then you go to the mirror to check yourself for similar signs... - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Stilly River Sage Date: 10 Jan 03 - 03:10 PM Geez, you guys are depressing! I don't plan to grow old, it's simply not on my list of things to do. Annette Funicello has the advanced stages of mulitiple schlerosis and has been wheelchair bound for years. SRS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: mg Date: 10 Jan 03 - 03:08 PM I can tell you haven't kept up with Annette Funicello. She has very serious multiple sclerosis (or MD)..and is in a wheelchair and very incapacitated. She did have a doll or teddy bear or some sort of business for home shopping I think. She is still very beautiful and in fact inspirational. We used to play Mousekateers and fight over who got to be Annette. I never won. My main thing about aging is turning seriously toward voluntary simplicity. It definitely did not start out voluntary..I was forced into it kicking and screaming..but I have downsized everything...I don't own anything I can't leave behind..my clothes fit into a couple of laundry baskets..I own two permanent books and a few diet books (two permanent are Up from Slavery and Kiplings Poems). I will stay at my very modest job (in pay, complex in responsibilities) for as long as it lasts. I'll take the bus maybe forever. Someday soon I would like to just sit on a rocking chair on a porch and people could bring me their babies to rock..not change, not chase after, just rock..and I would feed them too. mg |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Amos Date: 10 Jan 03 - 03:00 PM The whole panoply of famous icons I once related to mentally is completely obsolete. There are two generations of completely regenerated and reinvented personalities. I still think of Katherine Hepburn, Spencer Tracy, the Duke and Dirty Harry as movie stars. (My DNA has also forced me to make room for that beautiful wide-smiling Julia Roberts, but...). The people who are being cast up on the media driven celestial map of "stardom" these days are complete strangers to me. Music, fashion, politics, even literature with a few exceptions, might as well be from another planet. I still think proudly of Roy Campanella, Yogi Berra, ROger Maris and Mickey Mantle, for crissakes! LOL!! I am gradually coming to terms with then otion that I am just hopeless as far as the mainstream goes, and it no longer bothers me, because I honestly don't think of the mian stream as very main, and possibly no more astream than Disneyland's Amazon Boat Excursion is!! :>) Speaking of which, anybody heard from Annette Funicello?? LOL!! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: bill\sables Date: 10 Jan 03 - 02:43 PM I find these days while watching adverts on TV for someones greatest hits that I have never heard of the singer in the first place and in quiz shows I can never answer the "Music" questions. But the most recent thing was a TV show with people impersonating other famous people, I couldn't tell weather they were good or not as I didn't know the famous person they were trying to do |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: catspaw49 Date: 10 Jan 03 - 02:39 PM Rustic, that is exactly what I am looking for. And although some of my first post were things that have been said, several were original and in every case, it's something that has come to me within the past 6 months like a ton of bricks. The last one about the young girl.......When we were in Florida over Christmas, that one hit me hard. I don't know if others do, but somehow I have always seen myself, unaging at about age 23 or so. Saw this little girl at the zoo, perfectly well behaved and very nice kid with her family. She was very attractive and all I could think was "Geeziz, I'll bet her parents worry themselves sick over her." At the same time I realized that I was NOT in fact 23 anymore and my attitudes had changed, although I have no idea when it happened. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Leadfingers Date: 10 Jan 03 - 02:30 PM When you realise that the floor is a lot further down than it used to be. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Amos Date: 10 Jan 03 - 02:26 PM Peter T, you have the rights of it; and it may less be a matter of chronological age than a matter of where you are in the repeating life-cycle of diving in and then backing out, hopefully with some acquired insight from the process... A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Rustic Rebel Date: 10 Jan 03 - 01:46 PM Warning When I am an old woman I shall wear purple With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me. And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves And satin sandals. and say we've no money for butter. And I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells And run my stick along the public railings And make up for the sobriety of my youth. I shall go out in my slippers in the rain And pick the flowers in other people's gardens And learn to spit. You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat And eat three pounds of sausages at a go Or only bread and a pickle for a week And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes. But now we must have clothes that keep us dry And pay our rent and not swear in the street And set a good example for the children. We will have friends to dinner and read the papers. But maybe I ought to practice a little now? So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple. Jenny Joseph I just had to throw that poem in here. I've always thought it to be a pretty humerous one. So what do you really want to hear Spaw? Boobs sag, ass sags, face sags when skin loosens up, you find yourself plucking gray hair for your underarms. Rustic |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: HuwG Date: 10 Jan 03 - 01:44 PM When it takes you all night to do what you used to do all night ... Check these old threads on the subject (or related subjects) The oldest swinger in town Songs about getting older Songs about young and old Pardon me while I find where I left my cardigan and slippers ... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Cluin Date: 10 Jan 03 - 01:35 PM Me: Y'know, I'm starting to look more and more like Robert Redford every day. Herself: Yeah, right. Sure you are... Me: No, not the young good-looking Robert Redford. The old one with the funny lumps and growths on his face. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Schantieman Date: 10 Jan 03 - 01:24 PM LOL! (from a bloke!) Steve |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: *daylia* Date: 10 Jan 03 - 01:20 PM You're stepping out of the bathtub ... all of a sudden you're wracked with a blinding pain in the chest ... you look down and realize you're standing on your own boobs! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Don Firth Date: 10 Jan 03 - 01:20 PM I run into some decrepit old geezer who looks vaguely familiar. He stares at me for a few seconds, then he sez, "Hey, aren't you Don Firth?" I sez to him, "Yes, I am. You look kind of familiar to me, too." He sez, "Yeah! We went to high school together!" Sometimes I can't remember what I just did a few seconds ago. Sometimes I can't remember what I just did a few seconds ago. Sometimes I can't remember what I just did a few seconds ago. What was the question? Don Firth |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: catspaw49 Date: 10 Jan 03 - 01:16 PM Ah now PT, I feel obligated to try to make a joke out of that ever-so-true post............Hmmmmm............Well, look at it this way, you're already older than a lot of famous dead guys, many of which never got to be as old as we are now!................Wait a minute..........that's not funny........................... damn.....................**sigh**..................... Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Peter T. Date: 10 Jan 03 - 01:11 PM You know you are aging when your conversations are more and more taken up with the wise dead, the ancestors, through books, music, art and memory -- they speak of things that few in your time care about, but which are sweeter, saner, deeper; when you become much gentler with other people because you cannot know what secret griefs and burdens they are bearing, but you now have your own; when the great rhythm of things, the Tao, the Dharma, catches your attention more and more beneath the wash of the tired new; when you find yourself speaking less and less because you have said the same things, told the same stories, made the same jokes many times, and even you are weary of hauling around your kit bag of battered party favours. yours, Peter T. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Schantieman Date: 10 Jan 03 - 12:59 PM Roy Bailey bases a good part of his set around these. And very good it is too. Steve |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: Thomas the Rhymer Date: 10 Jan 03 - 12:58 PM Finding that whenever you bend over to pick something up, you look for something else you could do while you're down there... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: kendall Date: 10 Jan 03 - 12:50 PM Your back goes out more often than you do. You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there. You sit in a rocking chair, and can't get it going. The cops all look like kids. You wake up and realize you are sleeping with someone's grandmother. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: allanwill Date: 10 Jan 03 - 12:37 PM These from another chat site. Allan GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD: 1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. 2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get. 3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there. 4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster. 5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions. 6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. 7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone. THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE: 1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus. 3) You are Santa Claus. 4) You look like Santa Claus. SUCCESS: At age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants. At age 12 success is . . . having friends. At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license. At age 20 success is . . . having sex. At age 35 success is . . . having money. At age 50 success is . . . having money. At age 60 success is . . . having sex. At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license. At age 75 success is . . . having friends. At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: MMario Date: 10 Jan 03 - 12:00 PM The one that gets me is: ****You listen to a conversation about a decrpit old fart without hearing the name; then discover the person in question is younger then you are!**** |
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Subject: BS: Top Ways To Tell You Are AGING!!! From: catspaw49 Date: 10 Jan 03 - 11:56 AM This one is being written from a male point of view and I am inviting all the great women of the 'Cat (none of whom are aging) to throw in their thoughts. An open ended list here and additions are welcome! So let's see here................ TOP WAYS TO KNOW YOU ARE AGING *** The only time you think about doing it twice is just before you do it once. At first I related this to sexual matters but as I get older I notice it applies pretty well to everything.......**sigh**...... *** You meet an old friend and your first topic to catch up on is operations, illnesses, and disabilities of both yourselves and other friends. *** You move to the side of the bed closer to the bathroom. *** You notice that all those old fart "Mall Walkers" are actually your age! *** You act responsibly and go down to pre-arrange your funeral where you find they want the money up front. This actually cheers you up for a minute because at this point you know you can't possibly afford to die for a few more years at least! *** You now spend more time trimming your ear and nose hair than trimming your beard or shaving. *** You notice that you no longer see yourself in the fray while watching your favorite sport. As a matter of fact, even watching wears you out! *** You rip off a fart and instead of thinking it's good enough to clear a room, you whiff the air and say, "Grandpa?" *** You see some foxy 16 year old girl in skimpy attire and instead of thinking "WOW," you think how glad you are not to be her father. Add on friends........ Spaw |