BS: Yet Another Corporate Scandal...

Subject: RE: BS: Yet Another Corporate Scandal...
From: GUEST,Martin Gibson
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 12:19 PM

Actually this fairly ridiculous waste of time read fell right to the bottom.

Subject: RE: BS: Yet Another Corporate Scandal...
From: An Pluiméir Ceolmhar
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 05:22 PM

Too ignorant to contribute, but there's the makin's of an epic Mudcat thread here.

Are all you English majors too seasonally smashed from office parties to contribute?

Subject: RE: BS: Yet Another Corporate Scandal...
From: GUEST,mmario
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 02:57 PM

chuckle

Subject: BS: Yet Another Corporate Scandal...
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 02:47 PM

The gigantic multi-tiered multinational financial conglomerate known as The Scrooge and Marley Corporation has filed a petition for bankruptcy protection in U.S. District Court. This action takes place hot on the heels of rumors concerning the activities of Scrooge and Marley CEO Bob Cratchett. Cratchett has been accused of maintaining luxurious homes at corporate expense in popular vacation spots such as Antigua, Cozumel and Vail under the pretense that they were being used as orphanages. It is also suspected that many of the trips Cratchet has made for the purpose of "delivering shoes to needy orphans" have, in actuality, been excuses for drunken orgies, wild sex parties and folk music jam sessions.

No criminal charges have been brought against Bob Cratchett at this time, but corporate insiders say it's just a matter of time before indictments are issued. It is also suspected that Cratchett's son and chief advisor Timothy ("Tiny Tim") Cratchett will be indicted at the same time.

When contacted at his home in Monte Carlo, retired Scrooge and Marley co-founder Ebeneezer Scrooge had no comment.

Scrooge and Marley's stock price on the NYSE has plummeted to an all-time low. It is expected that this drop in price will have immense ripple effects on the values of mutual funds and IRA's nationwide since many fund managers considered Scrooge and Marley one of the soundest financial institutions around and many portfolios are heavily invested in S & M stock.

Scrooge and Marley began as a simple partnership between two men, Ebeneezer Scrooge and the late Jacob Marley. After many years of barely keeping his company's head above water using out-dated human resource practices Ebeneezer Scrooge is rumored to have had an epiphany during one Christmas season that prompted him to institute progressive employee reforms and become involved in philanthropic practices. In just a few years the decision was made to incorporate and, later, to make a public stock offering.

Many of the charities and public service organizations that have been, in large part, supported by Scrooge and Marley's philanthropic contributions are already reeling from the anticipated loss of funds. Said Madge Crumbley, manager of the Elm Street Soup Kitchen, "Aye. It's a shame, it is. Ol' Mister Scrooge useta come down 'ere 'imself an' he'p out. Gonna be a lotta hungry people 'roun' these parts soon. Dunno whut we gonna do."