BS: All that sand

Subject: RE: BS: All that sand
From: GUEST,observer
Date: 07 Jun 04 - 08:32 PM

Well, they won't let the women wear "proper" uniforms for beach vollyball, so that one is easy.

The other needs explanation. You see, they are way behind over there, and the term LONG JUMP hasen't reached there yet. They still call it BROAD JUMP, and of course you can see why that's not allowed

Your welcome..

Subject: RE: BS: All that sand
From: Bill D
Date: 07 Jun 04 - 05:22 PM

??..just a girl playing beach volleyball in a tight pink suit...not even naked or anything. *shrug* Who knows why links don't works some places..

Subject: RE: BS: All that sand
From: Peace
Date: 07 Jun 04 - 04:59 PM

Bill D,

I couldn't get the link to work. Sorry. Anyone, what did it show?

Subject: RE: BS: All that sand
From: Sttaw Legend
Date: 07 Jun 04 - 07:52 AM

Mr. and Mrs. and Mrs. and Mrs. and Mrs. bin Laden had been dwelling in the Afghanistan desert for what seemed like forever --

Bin Laden's youngest wife had said at breakfast over shriveled figs, "it's like we have been living like sand crabs on this like desert for like eons."

"I don't appreciate it when you use the word 'like,'" said her husband.

"Like, why not?" asked his second youngest wife.

"Because," said the famous bearded religious cleric, "it means you have been watching American television again. Like is an infidel word."

"Don't be such a poop," said the youngest wife. "We were watching a program about our own Arabic history."

"Yeah?" asked bin Laden. "What program would that be?"

"I Dream of Jeannie," chimed in his oldest wife-who was irritated with bin Laden since he had not played "Hide the Scimitar" with her for almost five years. She had halitosis since she had never seen a dentist in her life. Her lice didn't help either.

Bin Laden could feel his blood pressure creeping up again. "Number one," he said, "the satellite TV is to be used by the four of you only to watch me when I am on CNN."

"But you are like hardly ever on TV anymore and we are getting bored out of our gourds living in musty caves," said his third wife, the one with the shriveled breasts who never bathed. Well, she did bath but only after sex with bin Laden. She had had two baths in nine years.

"I am so on TV," growled bin Laden. "I've been on TV as much as President Bush. He picked up a hand grenade and hurled it at a poster of the United States President.

"Tell it to the Taliban," said his youngest wife. "The world media doesn't even let you speak anymore. They just broadcast that picture of you looking like a cantankerous camel while Christiane Amanpour explains what you said."

"Allah, I hate that CNN bitch," screamed bin Laden as his blood pressure went up another notch. "Talk about one-sided coverage. I'd like to slice her head clean off."

"Please," said his oldest wife, "don't use the name of Allah in vain. You'll upset the children."

"Where are the children?" he asked.

"In the other cave playing Nintendo," said the youngest wife.

"Doesn't anyone ever listen to me?" screamed the cleric. "I told them to read the Koran and practice with their box knives."

"They are only children," said his third oldest wife. "They grow weary of learning how to be suicide servants. Don't be so hard on them. A little Nintendo can be of no harm."

"Silence, before I cut your other hand off. Nintendo, along with the rest of the wicked western entertainment industry, is corrupt. I am going to blow up the Hollywood studios. I'm taking out Disneyland too."

"Oh yeah?" asked his youngest wife. "How?"

"I've got a team of suicide bombers who look like Goofy," said bin Laden. "They have been studying with Saddam in Iraq."

"You can't be serious," said his oldest wife.

"You bet I'm serious. We've even trained suicide bombers to look like the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus. The Americans will feel the wrath of Allah.

"But why would you harm children?" asked his youngest wife. "That is against the teaching of the Koran and Islam."

"You forget that we are in holy jihad. Anything goes. Now, I feel like sex. Excite me," said bin Laden to his youngest wife.

"Yes, enlightened one," she said. And she did what she always did to get him in the mood. She turned on the satellite TV Playboy channel.

Subject: RE: BS: All that sand
From: Gurney
Date: 07 Jun 04 - 04:50 AM

Perhaps they will practise long-jump after they finish golf. Just as soon as they get out of the sand-trap....

Subject: RE: BS: All that sand
From: Sttaw Legend
Date: 06 Jun 04 - 03:39 PM

Ted, will you be digitally recording the domestics having a domestic?

Subject: RE: BS: All that sand
From: el ted
Date: 04 Jun 04 - 08:59 AM

I can't remember noddy. I have so many posh consumer durables, one simply doesn't know what came from where! I could ask one of the staff for you if you really need to know. Pm your maids number to me and let the domestics sort it out.

Subject: RE: BS: All that sand
From: GUEST,noddy
Date: 04 Jun 04 - 08:55 AM

and El Ted I bet it is one of those fancy expensive digital one that you own . Or is it a company one?

Subject: RE: BS: All that sand
From: el ted
Date: 04 Jun 04 - 05:32 AM

Brazilian women's beach volleyball!! It's what video recorders were invented for!

Subject: RE: BS: All that sand
From: GUEST,noddy
Date: 04 Jun 04 - 05:30 AM

Dont eat yellow sand?


Thats how you can make the lines!!!

Subject: RE: BS: All that sand
From: Hrothgar
Date: 04 Jun 04 - 04:55 AM

Ooh, but Jen you're so tough!

I don't know if I'd want sea-dredged building sand, unless I was satisfied they had removed all the salt.

Subject: RE: BS: All that sand
From: JennieG
Date: 04 Jun 04 - 03:40 AM

I reckon beach volleyball players look like schniztels......

Cheers
JennieG who doesn't care for sport much

Subject: RE: BS: All that sand
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 04 Jun 04 - 03:07 AM

Oh puuulleeeeeeeeeeese. Some of us are trying to eat!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: All that sand
From: Bill D
Date: 03 Jun 04 - 09:42 PM

brucie...I can't imagine why

Subject: RE: BS: All that sand
From: Peace
Date: 03 Jun 04 - 06:11 PM

I am a beach volleyball fan--women's beach volleyball.

Subject: RE: BS: All that sand
From: harpmaker
Date: 03 Jun 04 - 06:09 PM

Where do we get our washed building sand, as far as I know it is dreadged out of the north sea?

Subject: RE: BS: All that sand
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 03 Jun 04 - 05:55 PM

Could it be that there is no actual beach? We all know that seaweed is an integral part of beach volleyball - how else do you mark the back line?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: All that sand
From: Sttaw Legend
Date: 03 Jun 04 - 04:11 PM

well spotted noddy, of course the same question applies, all that sand and no beach volleyball team what a waste, why ?

Subject: RE: BS: All that sand
From: Mr Happy
Date: 03 Jun 04 - 01:46 PM

Always heard glass was made from sand, look here http://www.letsrecycle.com/news/news.jsp?story=2343 for brand new recycling idea!

Subject: RE: BS: All that sand
From: Bill D
Date: 03 Jun 04 - 12:43 PM

quartz + granite + schist + feldspar + rhyolite + hornblende + andesite + chert + shale ... etc. + entropy = sand

makes you kind of humble, don't it?

Subject: RE: BS: All that sand
From: GUEST,noddy
Date: 03 Jun 04 - 04:52 AM

and what about beach volleyball

Subject: RE: BS: All that sand
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Jun 04 - 04:34 AM

Excellent film that was

Subject: RE: BS: All that sand
From: GUEST,Sandy Shaw
Date: 02 Jun 04 - 07:48 PM

Oh sorry, thought somemone called me

Subject: RE: BS: All that sand
From: jacqui.c
Date: 02 Jun 04 - 06:10 PM

I liked that film - it really had me rooting for the boys. Can't quite see anything similar for the long jump though.

Subject: RE: BS: All that sand
From: Peace
Date: 02 Jun 04 - 03:00 PM

Re the lack of a bobsled team: Jamaica had one. See "Cool Runnings."

Subject: RE: BS: All that sand
From: Megan L
Date: 02 Jun 04 - 01:33 PM

oh I don't know Amos it could be useful on a bad landing :)

Subject: RE: BS: All that sand
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jun 04 - 11:49 AM

Heavy headwear handicap.

A

Subject: RE: BS: All that sand
From: jacqui.c
Date: 02 Jun 04 - 10:13 AM

Anyway, all those long robes would get in the way!

Subject: RE: BS: All that sand
From: Once Famous
Date: 02 Jun 04 - 10:02 AM

Yes, but there is not enough sand to keep their heads buried in.

Or to go pound.

Subject: RE: BS: All that sand
From: Rasener
Date: 02 Jun 04 - 09:55 AM

I think its because they don't have any turf for the run up

Subject: RE: BS: All that sand
From: el ted
Date: 02 Jun 04 - 09:39 AM

My God! This is the MOST important question ever asked on mudcat! Why indeed? The lack of an Arab Bobsleigh team is understandable, but they should be bloody brilliant at long jump.

Subject: BS: All that sand
From: Sttaw Legend
Date: 02 Jun 04 - 09:13 AM

The Arabs have vast quantities of sand and no long jump team, why ?