Subject: RE: BS: Buy me and stop one?...... From: GUEST Date: 24 Dec 04 - 06:20 AM please refrain from sex until the train has left the station |
Subject: RE: BS: Buy me and stop one?...... From: GUEST,mr sensible Date: 24 Dec 04 - 05:40 AM well mr bobert. dont stand near the edge of a railway platform or the train might suck you off as it passes |
Subject: RE: BS: Buy me and stop one?...... From: Peace Date: 23 Dec 04 - 07:17 PM Thought this was an advertisement for bullet-proof vests. |
Subject: RE: BS: Buy me and stop one?...... From: Metchosin Date: 23 Dec 04 - 06:14 PM So people get ready There's a train a-comin You don't need no baggage You just get on board ! All you need is faith To hear the diesels humming Don't need no ticket You just thank the lord |
Subject: RE: BS: Buy me and stop one?...... From: Bobert Date: 23 Dec 04 - 06:11 PM Hey, I like trains as good as the next guy but... ,,, I did not have sex with that train. Bobert |
Subject: RE: BS: Buy me and stop one?...... From: Little Hawk Date: 23 Dec 04 - 05:57 PM All on BOARDDDDD! |
Subject: RE: BS: Buy me and stop one?...... From: GUEST Date: 23 Dec 04 - 05:47 PM Intersting, did Durex Products start out as a subsidiary of the London Rubber Company or did they just steal the brand name? |
Subject: RE: BS: Buy me and stop one?...... From: fat B****rd Date: 23 Dec 04 - 04:43 PM Durable, Reliable and Excellent. |
Subject: RE: BS: Buy me and stop one?...... From: Jim Dixon Date: 23 Dec 04 - 01:19 PM Here's a company whose logo would work well on a railroad car: Durex Products, of Luck, Wisconsin. "Durex" happens to be the best-known brand of condom in the UK – I don't know about Germany. It sure is interesting to visualize the use they had in mind for the "lining systems" they sell:
Few lining materials survive the constant abuse of mining and aggregate production. But Durex rubber/ceramic, urethane/ceramic, rubber, and urethane lining systems go far beyond survival. They deliver the benefits of extended wear life on your production line, reduced maintenance, and far less downtime. The extra protection of ceramic We mold wear-resistant ceramic cylinders in resilient rubber or urethane to produce a complete system of tough, durable ceramic lining products. Durex rubber/ceramic and urethane/ceramic lining systems are ideal for heavy-wear and impact applications such as:
Screen discharge chutes Coarse ore liners Slag chutes Screen undersize chutes Feeder liners Conveyor skirting Rubber/Ceramic Lining Systems Urethane/Ceramic Lining Systems Custom urethane shapes: Unlike rubber, urethane liners can be cast into complex shapes for use in pipe lining systems. Chemical resistance: Durex urethane/ceramic liners can be an alternative to rubber/ceramic liners in applications where chemicals in contact with the liners can adversely affect rubber compounds. Rubber Lining Systems Durex can vary the shape, thickness and formulation of our rubber liners to create custom systems for your specific installation. Durex offers rubber liners as modular snap-on panels, bolt-on steel-backed sheets, and weld-on steel-backed sheets. Variable rubber thickness: If your production line has existing engineered liner specifications, we can adapt our liners by adjusting the rubber thickness to fit your requirements. We carefully evaluate rubber thickness when application conditions are considered heavy-duty. Variable rubber compounds: If you're running high-temperature applications, we can deliver liners made with heat-resistant rubber compounds. Material usage compliance at your sites may dictate use of fire-retardant rubber compounds. Urethane Lining Systems Urethane liners can be molded into special shapes, and are excellent for wet applications and fine material under 1-1/2 inches. They're tough, yet light weight, and easy to install. Durex offers urethane liners as modular snap-on panels, bolt-on steel-backed sheets, and weld-on steel-backed sheets. Custom Layouts Engineered For Your Application While our huge selection of standard components keeps Durex lining systems affordable, they all come with a promise: If our standard parts don't fit your application, we'll engineer a solution that does. We'll start with a comprehensive on-site evaluation of your operations. We'll look at how you move and process material, and how your current liners are subjected to sliding abrasion and impact. Then, Durex engineers will develop specific recommendations to solve your wear problems. We'll figure out every detail from the best ceramic cylinder alignment, to custom material formulations, to the right fastening system. And we'll put it all on paper with exact layouts that show the placement of every part. Depend on Durex field and technical personnel to help you evaluate the best lining system for your operation. Contact the Durex representative nearest you. |
Subject: RE: BS: Buy me and stop one?...... From: Blissfully Ignorant Date: 23 Dec 04 - 12:11 PM REminds me of that Michelle Shocked song, 'If Love was a Train'... |
Subject: RE: BS: Buy me and stop one?...... From: diesel Date: 23 Dec 04 - 06:09 AM A new meaning to "Merry Christmas - Ho Ho Ho !" |
Subject: RE: BS: Buy me and stop one?...... From: Shanghaiceltic Date: 22 Dec 04 - 11:43 PM Lord knows what the Seekers fans would have made of this... 'Train whistle blowing,makes a sleepy noise............' |
Subject: RE: BS: Buy me and stop one?...... From: Georgiansilver Date: 22 Dec 04 - 03:35 PM or she blew? |
Subject: RE: BS: Buy me and stop one?...... From: GUEST,Anne Croucher Date: 22 Dec 04 - 03:18 PM Could give a whole new twist to certain lyrics. How about 'the runaway train went over the hill and he blew' |
Subject: RE: BS: Buy me and stop one?...... From: GUEST,Mr Red (in cognito) Date: 22 Dec 04 - 08:17 AM Seen on a condom machine (c 1965) just after the graffito that gives the thread a name Buy 2 and be one jump ahead |
Subject: RE: BS: Buy me and stop one?...... From: Bunnahabhain Date: 22 Dec 04 - 08:13 AM Overnight train journeys are rather more fun in that way than flying... |
Subject: RE: BS: Buy me and stop one?...... From: Georgiansilver Date: 22 Dec 04 - 07:57 AM Seems to me that a condom on a train brings back a memory for me from the long distant past and I have just managed to get my breath back after laughing for a couple of minutes. I'm sure it is nothing to go off the rails about though, just depends where your train of thought is!. Perhaps this signals a revolution in train jokes so we can all let off steam! Best wishes |
Subject: RE: BS: Buy me and stop one?...... From: Leadfingers Date: 22 Dec 04 - 06:34 AM In the early days of the cold war , didnt Stalin order one of his Companys to order ten million condoms from America with the size specified (slightly enormous !) . The American company receiving the order queried it with the White House . Harry Truman told them "Fulfill the order , but stamp each one 'Medium'!" |
Subject: RE: BS: Buy me and stop one?...... From: Bunnahabhain Date: 22 Dec 04 - 05:05 AM Is anybody surprised it's a German company who've done it? And as for the HO scale condoms, one EU country, Germany I think, complained that the European standard size condom was too big.... |
Subject: RE: BS: Buy me and stop one?...... From: michaelr Date: 22 Dec 04 - 02:46 AM Don't be coy, Spaw -- start somewhere and keep `em coming! Maerklin trains were it when I was a kid. Nicely detailed and smooth running. When the ribbed ones entered, the tunnel always moaned. Cheers, Michael |
Subject: RE: BS: Buy me and stop one?...... From: katlaughing Date: 22 Dec 04 - 02:29 AM Reminds me of the time we got a call at our speicality ads products office by a band in Boston. They wanted, and we delivered, condoms in matchbook covers with their band's name, "Skin," on the cover. At least we didn't have to print "Strike here!" |
Subject: RE: BS: Buy me and stop one?...... From: catspaw49 Date: 22 Dec 04 - 01:52 AM The joke possibilities here are endless! Where do you start? Spaw |
Subject: RE: BS: Buy me and stop one?...... From: Sorcha Date: 22 Dec 04 - 01:01 AM Oh dear... |
Subject: RE: BS: Buy me and stop one?...... From: Amos Date: 22 Dec 04 - 12:04 AM The packaging offers no instructions on running the miniature train but does have illustrated instructions on using the condom. I guess anyone can run a train, huh? LOL! Thanks for the grin, SC!!! |
Subject: BS: Buy me and stop one?...... From: Shanghaiceltic Date: 21 Dec 04 - 11:57 PM Could this be a suggestion for one of next years Secret Santa's? But I am confused is the the train or the condom that is HO scale. Suggestions please for who would use HO scale condoms. Toy maker equips train with condom Tue Dec 21,11:03 AM ET NEW YORK (Reuters) - A 145-year-old German maker of toy trains is giving its adult customers a chance to have a one-track mind. The miniature train company Marklin is packing a condom alongside a blue freight car emblazoned with the name of Blausiegel, a German condom maker. Marklin, a Goppingen, Germany-based company that was the first to introduce toy track with its train sets in 1891, produces trains that often carry the names of real companies to emulate actual rail cars. Collectors' editions with less Freudian implications have been sold along with liquor advertised on the cars. The toy freight car, which comes packaged with a "Billy Boy" condom is available in HO scale, or 1/87th of the actual size of a freight train, just under 4 inches long, and Z scale, which is 1/220th of the size of a real train. Ralph Israel, partner of Manhattan Train & Hobby store in New York, said he sold two of the models, both to men, the first day they were put in the glass cases in his hobby shop. They are not being marketed to appear under the Christmas tree as gifts for children. The toy train and the condom, which retail for $35 (18 pounds), are packaged in a sleek brushed-metal container the size of a cigar box. The packaging offers no instructions on running the miniature train but does have illustrated instructions on using the condom. |