BS: Your Favorite FREE Prune Site?

Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite FREE Prune Site?
From: JennyO
Date: 09 Mar 06 - 09:43 AM

Nightie Nightie Ev'ryone

There's a cosy little bedroom,
Cosy bunk beds, oh so neat,
Cosy flannelette pyjamas,
Cosy bedsocks for our feet.
Time to snuggle 'neath the blankets
And to close each weary eye,
Tired teddy bears kneel to say their prayers
For they know that dreamland's nigh.

So good night and see you again sometime;
Up the stairs to bedsiebyes we must now climb;
Time for little hobos
To bugger off to bobos,
So nightie nightie ev'ryone.

As we remove our make-up,
We reveal the bitter truth;
For beneath our painted beauty
Is our sadly fading youth.
And so though you think we're gorgeous,
And as lovely as our tunes,
If we're ever viewed when we're in the nude,
We just look like stewed old prunes.

So goodnight, and hope we've not made you blue;
Underneath this loveliness we're just like you;
For are we beauties? Hardly!
It's all thanks to Yardley;
So nightie nightie ev'ry one.

So goodnight, drive carefully if you're going far;
Mine's a pint, and two white wines -
See you in the bar;
And a treble gin and tonic;
And we'll soon be catatonic.
So nightie nightie ev'ryone.

Nightie nightie ev'ryone.
Nightie nightie ev'ryone.
Night night..


(This little gem by Dillie Keane.)

Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite FREE Prune Site?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 Mar 06 - 03:48 AM

Nowadays we often gaze on women over 50
Without the slightest trace of wrinkles on their face
Doctors go and take their dough to make them young and nifty
But doctors I defy to tell me just why

No matter how young a prune may be, it's always full of wrinkles
We may get them on our face, prunes get them every place
Prohibition worries us, but prunes don't sit and brood,
Now matter how young a prune may be, it's always getting stewed

In the kingdom of the fruit the prune is snubbed by others
And they are not allowed to mingle with the crowd
Though they're never on display with all their highbrow brothers
they never seem to mind, to this fact they're resigned,

That no matter how young a prune may be, it's always full of wrinkles
Beauty treatments always fail, they've tried all to no avail
Other fruits are envious because they know real well
No matter how young a prune may be hot water makes 'em swell

Baby prunes look like their dad, but not wrinkled quite as bad

Every day in every way the world is getting better,
we've even learned to fly, as days go passing by,
But what about the poor old prune his life is only wetter,
no wonder he can't grin in the awful stew he's in

No matter how young a prune may be it's always full of wrinkles
We may get them on our face, Prunes get them every place.
nothing ever worries them their life's an open book,
But no matter how young a prune may be it has a worried look

Prunes act very kind they say, when sickly people moan,
But no matter how young a prune may be it has a heart of stone.


Frank Crummit. Apparently the words changed depending on the decade in which he sang the song.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite FREE Prune Site?
From: Bill D
Date: 08 Mar 06 - 11:17 PM

"Many teenagers gesticulate their privates."

There was young lady from Exeter,
Whose charms made the lads crane their necksater.
   And some grew so brave,
   As to take out and wave
The distinguishing marks of their sexater.

Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite FREE Prune Site?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Mar 06 - 10:39 PM

I beg your pardon! This is new codswallop! Just walloped it out of the cod this afternoon.

Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite FREE Prune Site?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 08 Mar 06 - 10:24 PM

What a load of old codswallop!

Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite FREE Prune Site?
From: Peace
Date: 08 Mar 06 - 10:19 PM

Many teenagers gesticulate their privates.

Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite FREE Prune Site?
From: bobad
Date: 08 Mar 06 - 09:50 PM

Oh!

Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite FREE Prune Site?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Mar 06 - 09:39 PM

Actually, there's nothing wrong with gesticulating in public. It's gesticulating in private that's illegal.

Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite FREE Prune Site?
From: bobad
Date: 08 Mar 06 - 09:32 PM

"gesticulating in public!"

Must be some kinda law against that.

Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite FREE Prune Site?
From: Bill D
Date: 08 Mar 06 - 09:25 PM

next she'll be gesticulating in public!

Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite FREE Prune Site?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Mar 06 - 07:56 PM

SINSULL! Shame on you! There may be children reading this thread!

Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite FREE Prune Site?
From: SINSULL
Date: 08 Mar 06 - 07:46 PM

I nearly blushed reading this. "Pubescent stipules INDEED!:
"Description---A small tree, 15 to 20 feet high, with numerous spreading branches without spines, young branches smooth, leaves small, alternate on longish petioles, provided with linear, fimbriated, pubescent stipules which are quickly deciduous, blade about 2 inches long, oval, acute at both ends, crenatedentate, smooth above, more or less pubescent underneath, convolute in the bud, flowers appear before leaves. The cultivated plum has been developed from the wild plum, the thorns being lost in the process. Plums were known to the Romans in Cato's time."

Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite FREE Prune Site?
From: Morticia
Date: 08 Mar 06 - 06:55 PM

I can't believe you are all encouraging him in this.....this.....Filth!!

Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite FREE Prune Site?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Mar 06 - 06:26 PM

Ah! So there's the rub! If you want to find free prune sites you need to Google "dried plum". Next thing ya know they'll be calling coriander "cilantro" or rutabagas "Swedes".

Thanks for the tip on the floppies, Bill. I was thinking about doing something similar only using CDs and drying them in the microwave.

Brrrrrzzzzzmmmmpppp.... Snap!!!! Crackle!!!! Kerpow!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite FREE Prune Site?
From: Joe Offer
Date: 08 Mar 06 - 05:41 PM

Here in Northern California, we used to take great pride in being the world's most significant producer of prunes. We had a wonderful California Prune Festival in Yuba city every year, and got lots of old-time music and free prunes - what a combination!

Well, the California Prune Advisory Board has reinvented itself, and we no longer have prunes in California. Now we have dried plums - but they taste just like prunes used to taste. You can find out all about it at http://www.californiadriedplums.org/.

Oh, and the music and samples at the California Dried Plum Festival are almost as good as they were at the Prune Festival.

Now, if you're looking for prune sites, this page has a link that's supposed to lead you to the Royal Prune University - but alas, the link has died. Perhaps it's now the Royal Dried Plum University...

-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite FREE Prune Site?
From: Bill D
Date: 08 Mar 06 - 04:49 PM

Did you put her on a flop--...no, I won't go there.

Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite FREE Prune Site?
From: Dead Horse
Date: 08 Mar 06 - 04:37 PM

(Careful of times in the oven....they can wrinkle beyond usability)
So thats what happened to the wife!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite FREE Prune Site?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 08 Mar 06 - 04:22 PM

All together now.... (Brits of a certain age that is....)

My name is Angus Prune, and this is my tune....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite FREE Prune Site?
From: Bill D
Date: 08 Mar 06 - 02:28 PM

easy solution...just go to Plum sites, download them as HTML, then compress them with a good ZIP program, put them on a floppy, and dry them. (Careful of times in the oven....they can wrinkle beyond usability)

Subject: BS: Your Favorite FREE Prune Site?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Mar 06 - 02:22 PM

Hello. My computer recently experienced a total system crash and I lost the bookmarks for all my favorite free prune sites. I used to have bookmarks for sites about shaved prunes, hairy prunes, bisexual prunes, prunes with big butts, you name it. I've tried Googling but it doesn't seem to help. All the sites Google comes up with are so lame! I guess they're blocking the really hot stuff.

Thankfully, it was only the prune site bookmarks that got lost. The links to all the mangelwurzel, rutabaga, sheep and, especially, spatula sites are still intact.

So, if anyone has URLs for any really hot free prune sites, how about sharing them. Free sites only, please. I'm not interested in giving credit card numbers to lowlife prunographers so they can order a zillion dollars' worth of hip-hop MP3 downloads at my expense.