BS: Invasion of the Manatee Part II

Subject: RE: BS: Invasion of the Manatee Part II
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Oct 06 - 03:20 PM

The way it stunk? Only members of the Legion had the guts or stupidity to approach the thing!

Subject: RE: BS: Invasion of the Manatee Part II
From: MMario
Date: 24 Oct 06 - 01:49 PM

I'm suprised a pathologist from the Legion could verify that it was *dead*.

Subject: RE: BS: Invasion of the Manatee Part II
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Oct 06 - 01:44 PM

A manatee was reported in the Portneuf River last week, but it turned out to be only a dead cow. Just in case it was a manatee submarine cleverly disguised as a dead cow it was taken out and a postmortem was done by pathological scientists of the Idaho Legion. They were correct in their original assessment that it was indeed a dead cow and that the flippers and tail configuration were only mutations.

Subject: RE: BS: Invasion of the Manatee Part II
From: Amos
Date: 24 Oct 06 - 11:21 AM

Actually I don't think manatees care for the blues -- it sounds too much like motorboats.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Invasion of the Manatee Part II
From: Tweed
Date: 24 Oct 06 - 10:30 AM

Yaz, yaz, and next no doubt some pedant will go off on a tangent and correct your spelling of mammel, but not me MMario, no I won't do it.

Not while these creatures slither up and down Beale Street sucking in Blues buskers like Big Jerry and Robert Belfour and making it even more difficult and dangerous for downtrodden musicians of greater Memphopolis!

Subject: RE: BS: Invasion of the Manatee Part II
From: MMario
Date: 24 Oct 06 - 10:19 AM

How did we go from the Dutch/Manatee invasion warnings to me being outed as an aquatic mammal?

spelling corrected - pedantic joe-clone

Subject: RE: BS: Invasion of the Manatee Part II
From: Big Mick
Date: 24 Oct 06 - 10:18 AM

Dumb asses, don't you recognize this for what it is. I am a veteran, sirs, and you are missing important signs. For example: said manatee is wearing camo, I believe it is tiger stripe. This is obviously a member of a Manatee LRRP (Long Range Reconnaissance Patrol). They are scouting the area, intent on wreaking havoc. Don't be fooled by the exterior and demeanor!!!!!!!

Mick

Subject: RE: BS: Invasion of the Manatee Part II
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Oct 06 - 10:09 AM

Balderdash! The creature's not really a manatee at all! It's a very large Poland China sow from Cape Girardeaux, Missouri!

Unfortunately, it is only the vanguard. Eventually the entire city of Cape Girardeaux will be seen floating past the docks and wharves* of Memphis. You see, Cape Girardeaux has decided to relocate to Louisiana where all the towns with names ending in "eaux" are supposed to be.


* I assume it's okay to say "wharves" here on the Mudcat. If it's not, please accept my apologies.

Subject: RE: BS: Invasion of the Manatee Part II
From: wysiwyg
Date: 24 Oct 06 - 10:01 AM

Mmario is TOO a manatee; I know him well.

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Invasion of the Manatee Part II
From: Tweed
Date: 24 Oct 06 - 09:52 AM

How can you be so blind? They are completely evil things and horrible to even look upon.

Last night I dreamed that there was a crowd of them dressed in white smocks. I was strapped to an examination table and helpless, while these devils drooled and slobbered over me and argued loudly, in their gutteral language, over who would get the drumsticks.

Subject: RE: BS: Invasion of the Manatee Part II
From: Amos
Date: 24 Oct 06 - 09:47 AM

You've been hanging out with those dikes again, haven't you MM.

Let me just tell you this,. MMario. I knew Manatees. I swam with Manatees. And you, sir, are no Manatee.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Invasion of the Manatee Part II
From: MMario
Date: 24 Oct 06 - 09:45 AM

People scoff - but I tell you, the Manatees are in collusion with the Dutch -- and they intend to flood the world!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Invasion of the Manatee Part II
From: Tweed
Date: 24 Oct 06 - 09:38 AM

Wrongo Amos! I have inside information that one actually jumped into an old fellow's boat down here the other day and devoured him alive while his grandchildren watched in horror.

Something must be done quickly before they eat Memphis.
And then what?

On to Minnesota??

Subject: RE: BS: Invasion of the Manatee Part II
From: Amos
Date: 24 Oct 06 - 09:34 AM

Dear Tweed:

Aside from humans in motorboats carving up their hides, the Manatee have no natural enemies and are vegetarians. They are shmoos of deep water. You have nothing to fear. But, I should add that they do have telepathic powers...


A

Subject: BS: Invasion of the Manatee Part II
From: Tweed
Date: 24 Oct 06 - 09:12 AM

Global Warming Forces Manatees North.
We are lost, the end is near!

Manatee finds way Memphis

POSTED: 1133 GMT (1933 HKT), October 24, 2006

MEMPHIS, Tennessee (AP) -- An adventurous manatee strayed far from its usual coastal habitat to make an appearance on a Mississippi River tributary near downtown Memphis on Monday.

The distance on the curvy river from near its delta in Louisiana to Memphis is more than 725 miles, according to Army Corps of Engineers charts.

"I got a call about 3 p.m. about either a hippo or a manatee in the water," said Andy Tweed, an officer with the Tennessee Wildlife Resource Agency. Officers from the agency and zoologists from the Memphis Zoo confirmed the sighting and observed the animal from boats.

The endangered species generally prefers warm coastal waters ranging from Alabama to South Carolina, although there were sightings this August along the East Coast up to Rhode Island.

In winter months, they usually stay in coastal waters off Florida, often congregating near the warm-water discharges of power plants.

"If he did swim from Florida, he's doing really well," Tweed (Andy, not me) said, estimating its size between eight and 10 feet, and its weight up to 1,000 pounds.

Tennessee officials were working with experts in Florida to decide what to do next. The agency planned to track the animal again Tuesday morning by helicopter and restrict private boat traffic in the harbor of the Wolf River, a tributary that meets the Mississippi just north of downtown Memphis.

Copyright 2006 The Associated Press

Manatee in Memphis,CNN.com