BS: is the word wanker politically correct

Subject: BS: is the word w#nk#r politically correct
From: The Sandman
Date: 10 Aug 09 - 03:30 PM

should we stop using this word,because it might offend those that masturbate.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: MartinRyan
Date: 10 Aug 09 - 03:40 PM

Boom boom!

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 10 Aug 09 - 03:41 PM

I'm not offended!!!

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Bill D
Date: 10 Aug 09 - 03:58 PM

In the USA, it's so obscure that it ain't even political, much less correct.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 10 Aug 09 - 04:01 PM

Well, I think it is politically correct as everyone does it irrespective of gender, colour, or religion. Not sure why it is a term of abuse really.

Bill, what, then, do you call wanking in the USA?

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: catspaw49
Date: 10 Aug 09 - 04:07 PM

The usual term is "jack-off" although in Pittsburgh it is "Jagov"........same thing.........and to tell you da' truth, nobody who uses the term could give two shits if it is PC or not (;<))


Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: catspaw49
Date: 10 Aug 09 - 04:09 PM

BTW, its usually not used alone if you get my drift......you fuckin' jagov.


Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 10 Aug 09 - 04:11 PM

"Jack off" is surely gender specific, with the female version being "Jill off", isn't it?

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Lox
Date: 10 Aug 09 - 04:14 PM

Am I right in thinking that a "jerk" is an abbreviated "jerk off"?


As in "what a Jerk, he must have had his jerk off abbreviated ..."


Or am I just being creative again.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 10 Aug 09 - 04:16 PM

No Dick.





As I said before but it was deleted, probably because I forgot to log in.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 10 Aug 09 - 04:18 PM

At Sidmouth festival last week, in the Anchor Middle Bar singing sessions, I heard a version of Jones's Ale with an additional verse about a banker (thanks to Tug the Cox from Exmouth shantymen).

Kitty

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: catspaw49
Date: 10 Aug 09 - 04:28 PM

Lox, I think you're being creative man.......The jerk part comes from the motion as do many other terms related to masturbation....whip the Bishop, tamp your tool, bop your baloney, slam your sausage, etc.

And RB.....No Jills.........I think we use jackoff in a bit more nasty way than you use wanker. Except between friends, calling someone a jackoff has nothing nice about it. If we refer to a woman with the same animosity we would probably us twat or cunt.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Bill D
Date: 10 Aug 09 - 04:29 PM

I'm not sure why it never caught on over here...It is rather useful as both noun & verb..(I never even heard the term until I'd been online a couple years.)
I do know that masturbation was not a common topic in MY youth...at least in the crowd I was around. About the only term I have ever heard as an adult is 'jerk-off', and it never seemed to be used in the half-kidding way that 'wanker' seems to be used in the UK. It was mostly used to refer to someone NOT present.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: MartinRyan
Date: 10 Aug 09 - 04:32 PM

BTW - my "Boom, boom", in the second post to the thread, related to John's original, deleted post, in case anyone's wondering! ;>)

Regards

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Lox
Date: 10 Aug 09 - 04:36 PM

Spaw,

I was messing a bit and went off on my own little tangent after the end of line 1.

But There was an initial point which I just about allowed to breathe, though with my imaginations foot on its throat, which was to wonder whether the term "jerk" as in "what a jerk" was derived from "jerk off" - by which I mean ... erm ... well ... you know ...

... cos you don't go round saying "what a whip" or "what a bop" ...

though maybe we should.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: catspaw49
Date: 10 Aug 09 - 04:41 PM

Yeah Lox......Sorry man, I missed that. I gotta' read more for comprehension and less for speed. You may well be right on it!

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Aug 09 - 05:00 PM

Is the original question politically relevant? ;-) Seems to me that only a total wanker would even ask such a question in the first place. Or a jagov. As the case may be...

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: catspaw49
Date: 10 Aug 09 - 05:04 PM

Geeziz Hawk.....What a wasted post! I thought that was a given...........

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Smokey.
Date: 10 Aug 09 - 05:05 PM

The term is particularly politically pertinent when applied to politicians.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 10 Aug 09 - 05:05 PM

Sounds like someone's polishin' the banana again to me.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: GUEST,Wilfred Penifere
Date: 10 Aug 09 - 05:08 PM

I am offended by this thread. I demand that it be closed.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: folk1e
Date: 10 Aug 09 - 05:14 PM

BTW, its usually not used alone if you get my drift......you fuckin' jagov.


..... isn't that an oxymoron?

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: catspaw49
Date: 10 Aug 09 - 05:14 PM

Sounds like someone's polishin' the banana again to me.

That's why you are such a pathetic limpdick asswipe Chongo.........You don't polish a banana even if you are a dumbass chimp. You polish the knob........kriced what a dickhead.......

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: catspaw49
Date: 10 Aug 09 - 05:18 PM

..... isn't that an oxymoron?

No....unless you're wackin' your dick at a sperm bank. Or perhaps you're trying to get your hand pregnant......

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: The Sandman
Date: 10 Aug 09 - 05:33 PM

Wanker,is a term that is not reserved for one gender,do not forget, women masturbate as well.
So less of this sexist stuff.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Andrez
Date: 10 Aug 09 - 05:45 PM

Come again ........?

Cheers,

Andrez

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 10 Aug 09 - 05:47 PM

Wanker is a term used about men Cap'n B.. it was never directed at women

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Dead Horse
Date: 10 Aug 09 - 06:06 PM

I thought wanking WAS directed at women, and is frequently associated with a pc.
(Unless you are a gay male with no internet access :-)

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Peace
Date: 10 Aug 09 - 06:11 PM

WE elect our wankers in Canada, as do you in England. Ain't it grand?

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: gnu
Date: 10 Aug 09 - 06:16 PM

Quite the circle jerk.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Smokey.
Date: 10 Aug 09 - 06:19 PM

I thought wanking WAS directed at women

You can get thrown off the bus for that where I live.

Peace, they probably couldn't get proper jobs otherwise..
We call it 'care in the community' over here.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Peace
Date: 10 Aug 09 - 06:22 PM

LOL

Did you ever read Mark Twain's remark?

"Ah, yes, Congress; that benevolent old asylum for the helpless."

Great minds . . . .

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Smokey.
Date: 10 Aug 09 - 06:40 PM

Very apt..

Wouldn't it be nice if they didn't force us to be cynical? Never mind, we have the music.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Peace
Date: 10 Aug 09 - 06:41 PM

Got that right, Smokey.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 10 Aug 09 - 06:51 PM

And I thought that Chinaman who got divorced was going back to China!!!!!! He said he was going back to Wan King

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Smokey.
Date: 10 Aug 09 - 06:54 PM

I saw, I came, I conked out.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Joe_F
Date: 10 Aug 09 - 09:14 PM

Smokey:

There was once an old man of great fame,
Who, when asked how he did with a dame,
    Said, "In order to please her,
    I reversed Julius Caesar:
...."

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Smokey.
Date: 10 Aug 09 - 09:23 PM

Priceless! Thank you.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: GUEST,Wilfred Penifere
Date: 10 Aug 09 - 11:11 PM

I note that my urgent protest against this thread has not been heeded, and not even remarked upon! I am more offended than ever. I plan to contact the owner of this offensive site and insist that something be done. You have all been warned. I will not rest until I get a full apology and a retraction from those who have offended me.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 10 Aug 09 - 11:15 PM

Y'all can keep using 'wanker,' because it means something.

But I don't want to hear anymore about anything being 'politically correct.' What does 'politically correct' actually mean? I'm waiting.




















See? Nobody knows what it means. It's just something that wankers use to get people upset. Give it up!

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 10 Aug 09 - 11:39 PM

If you'd lived in Spain in the 1500's, Leeneia, or in Germany in the late 30s and 40s or in Pol Pot's Cambodia, you would've found out FAST what it means. It means "You either talk the way we want you to and ACT the way we want you to...or face the consequences." The consequences can vary some accordin' to the agenda and attitude of whoever's in charge, but they ain't usually all that pleasant. A somewhat lesser consequence could just be to get socially ostracized by people and lose yer job and yer career. This is what usually happens to people who ain't considered too politically correct in what is thought of as a modern "democracy".

It has happened to folksingers too. The Johnson administration didn't consider Buffy Sainte-Marie to be politically correct at all, and she got no airplay in North America for 10 years, courtesy of government agents who went around to all the radio and TV stations.

Every society has its own means of shuttin' up people who don't kowtow to the official line of the day, whatever it may be. Some societies go a lot farther than others in that respect, but the basic intention is similar...to silence those who do not obey and conform to what Big Brother has decided upon.

The politically correct can be found on either the Right or the Left. It always has been that way, probably always will be. Scoudrels are not defined by their cause or their specific political affiliation, they are defined by their character.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 10 Aug 09 - 11:43 PM

'Scuse me. I meant to say "scoundrels", not "scoudrels".

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: meself
Date: 10 Aug 09 - 11:52 PM

In Canada, I've only heard the terms (noun & verb) used by musicians in reference to lead-guitar players I mean other musicians who take lengthy solo breaks that are considered to be more self-indulgent than musical.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 12:35 AM

I guess this thread answers the question about the name of a French or German town where the tourists all want their photos taken in front of the road sign into town. It was an item on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me on NPR last Saturday. The quiz included a bit about two towns: one town had a name implying sex, and the other had a name implying masturbation.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Smokey.
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 12:35 AM

In England we have the term 'a load of old wank', which is used similarly, but by no means exclusively in a musical sense.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Peace
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 12:42 AM

"'Scuse me. I meant to say "scoundrels", not "scoudrels"."

What about us scoudrels?

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 01:35 AM

Sorry! I did not mean no disrespect to you scoudrels. Keep in mind I use a lotta double negatives, and you won't get me wrong.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Peace
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 01:40 AM

You are beginning to sound like a politician. GOOD work, Chongo.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Will Fly
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 05:41 AM

Used to be in a band (many years ago) called the Plankspankers - named thus simply because the young lead guitarist's name was M.S. Bates...

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 06:21 AM

Was he Mr Bates or Master?

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 06:35 AM

It became politically correct when Ivor Biggun recorded the ' Wankers Song '

Dave H

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Mr Happy
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 06:40 AM

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wanker

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Will Fly
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 06:59 AM

Was he Mr Bates or Master?

Master was what we called him - what did you expect? :-)

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: GUEST,Wilfred Penifere
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 12:22 PM

I will not stand idly by and be treated with utter contempt by this forum. I have borne it long enough. Very well. You asked for it. You lot are a bunch of worthless pillocks!

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Smokey.
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 12:28 PM

Wazzock. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 03:00 PM

It must be politically correct, as it is arguably the only one word description which accurately describes those, of whatever nationality, who rise to the top in politics.

One more step upward and they'll all be in the gutter.


Said with tongue in cheek.


Fingers tightly crossed behind back.
Don T.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 03:08 PM

An old comment, recently topical again, has it that the collective term for Bankers is a "wunch"

As in a wunch of bankers!



I can't recall who the quote was from, but there was the old time music hall comedian who claimed to have been walking along a narrow cliffside path when he met a young lady "I didn't know whether to block her passage, or toss myself off!"

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Will Fly
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 03:21 PM

The apocryphal story is that Max Miller was banned by the BBC for making that joke on air. Untrue.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 06:54 PM

Will Fly - oh gosh, I thought it was because the dance team was called Woodfidley. But a w replaced the sp.

Kitty

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 07:03 PM

I don't think political correctness and direct insults have anything to do with one another. "Politically incorrect" implies that some people may find a word offensive while others do not. "Negro" is no longer politically correct, but it's not usually spoken as a direct insult. "Wanker" is intended as an insult. Asking whether "wanker" is politically correct is a bit like asking whether "Goddamned shit-for-brains fuck-faced asshole" is politically correct.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: gnu
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 07:09 PM

Well, it is for some, BWL, but few can toss it offhand. I can only think of two, and that's shoving it a bit too far.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 08:03 PM

No, seriously, the issue is that it is a sexual insult. The second-level meaning is that the "wanker" is unable to obtain two-party sexual congress. It is a statement that the wanker is disempowered. Thus there is an implication that sexual relations are a matter of one party overpowering the other - and usually the intendedly empowered party is the male.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Smokey.
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 08:06 PM

What if you're wanking someone else though?

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Peace
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 08:08 PM

'"Goddamned shit-for-brains fuck-faced asshole"'

You'd best start considering how Canucks feel when you speak about our leader in that manner. Keriste. That is politically correct!

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: gnu
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 08:08 PM

"usually the intendedly empowered party is the male"

What? The women got half the money and all the pussy. THAT is empowered.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Peace
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 08:10 PM

I'm gettin' my ass OFF this thread before I get in trouble.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Smokey.
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 08:17 PM

Me too - I don't want to sound as if I'm blowing my own trumpet, but I have both hands full at the present.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Peace
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 08:23 PM

Smokey, you need a wheelbarrow . . .

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Smokey.
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 08:49 PM

Hmm.. I'm not sure I can control myself around garden implements.. and it can make such a mess - one can be scrubbing gnomes for days.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Mr Happy
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 06:02 AM

The junior section of the Boys Brigade is now known as the Anchor Boys.

In towns/ districts whose names end in a 'W' - they need to take care how they say it, as in '49th Glasgow Anchor Boys'

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 09:14 AM

I have realised that, over the years, I have started to use the term for anyone who performs a particularly selfish act. In traffic, for instance, it is most often applied to BMW drivers:-) (Yes, I know there are a few decent ones but you know what I mean) Those who will do what they want regardless of the mess they cause. I think it was most suitably applied in 'The Commitments'. On ticking off the sax player (I think) the leader says that he is supposed to be playing soul, not jazz. Jazz, he comments, is musical wanking...

:D (eG)

(Who has now offended BMW drivers and Jazz lovers in one easy paragraph)

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Jack Blandiver
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 10:50 AM

Wanking is the achievement of ejaculation without orgasm; it seems some 80% of all men suffer from this inability, leading to feelings of guilt, inadequacy, frustration, depression and in extreme cases it might even result in them taking up folk singing. Onanism, on the other hand, is celebratory, shameless & joyful male-masturbation in which the virtuosic techniques of ecstasy result in a near infinite orgasmic plateau long before the old semen puts in an appearance, which is, of course, optional. And it turns women on something rotten. If God hadn't wanted us to masturbate he'd have put our genitals in the middle of our backs.

Otherwise - any good masturbation songs? Here's one:

Muddy Mouth from Robert Wyatt's Ruth is Stranger than Richard (1975)

Deep in the undergrows, Handy sighed with relief. He'd come alone in the dark
He'd come again at dawn, if not before the morning cockrise
Meanwhile in the bushes above, behind the toepath which goes along
Beside the canal leading to the sea, which in turn leads on to
All the major oceans - Indian, Atlantic, Pacific,
I can't remember the names Of the others
off - Handy cided to leave
He'd come apart at the seam - endangered life and lawn order before
The more since he lies (even under oaf handy lies) when he feels caught
Between righthand wrong. I think he just might have been wrong this time
Which in turn left him with few alternatives to relieving himself by hand
Alone in the dark, wanking in the bog?

Another is Three Tenses Onanism from Kew. Rhone by John Greaves & Peter Blegvad (1977) but I don't have the words to hand. Anyone??

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Amos
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 04:02 PM

Both "wanker" and "Goddamned shit-for-brains fuck-faced asshole" are politically correct. They are INSULTS!!! If anyone tried to start a movement to forbid all derogatory opinions being expressed, all statements of outraged disapprobation, all condemnations of profound, bottomless, pecker-blind stupidity on the part of our fellow humans of various ages real or imagined, they would be laughed out of town as a bunch of panty-waisted pussies, is that not so? Might as well try to outlaw salt and pepper.


A

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: The Sandman
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 04:12 PM

Dick plays his Willy song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0zAr1t6nTE

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 04:32 PM

"ejaculation without orgasm; it seems some 80% of all men suffer from this inability"

WOT?

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Smokey.
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 06:37 PM

Wot indeed....
Well, each to his own, as they say.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Peace
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 06:38 PM

Ya gotta hand it to him, huh?

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Smokey.
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 06:59 PM

I'd rather not, if it's all the same to you..

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 09:11 PM

What's worse? "Wanker" or "tosser"?

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Smokey.
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 09:31 PM

After a considerable amount of scientific research, I say'tosser' is better for muttering under your breath as it requires less movement of the mouth. On the other hand, 'wanker' is probably more easily understood by lip-readers. For maximum communicability though, it's hard to beat a simple gesture.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Peace
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 09:38 PM

Chongo: man of few words . . . .

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: GUEST,Mr Red
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 06:11 AM

It is ever so slightly easier to say than banker and more appropriate. And given the government involvement in banking these days, very political and correct in that context also.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Lox
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 09:21 AM

choking the chongo ...

... chafing the chimp ...

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: goatfell
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 04:03 AM

in australia they talk about blowing off or the men are are about to blow, but hten they wnet a PC a fish's name

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: GUEST,Michelin Man
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 08:28 AM

The best one is when the wife does it for you - she saya it can be quite hard work

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Jack Blandiver
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 09:07 AM

Didn't Henry VIII have a personal man-servant to attend to such matters as onanism? In which case is it truly onanism? No doubt he was skilled in the art of fellatio too, as few men are, though there is a further rumour that the diminutive pop-star Prince had certain ribs removed to facilitate an oral dimension to the business of self-love. I dare say for us fat folky blokes a good deal of liposuction would be involved as well...

I wonder, how many here have ever sucked their own dick? Or yet licked their own pussies? Which brings me back to an intriguing medieval carving that might be found on the exterior of the church of in St. Michael's-on-Wyre in which a female contortionist appears to be doing just that:

Sheela-Na-Gig / Sexual Contortionist - 15th Century

And not quite the same thing but I think this is my favourite ever YouTube video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrPosTPSXxw

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Smokey.
Date: 14 Aug 09 - 06:48 PM

Dammit, now I've got a bad back, I'm coughing up hairballs, and the poor cat is quite bewildered. That's the last time I take advice from you..

I thought onanism was 'casting one's seed upon the ground'.. I don't think the D.I.Y. approach is compulsory.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Jack Blandiver
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 04:53 AM

That's the last time I take advice from you..

Sorry, I should have made that clearer. By pussies I meant c*nts rather than c*ts, though if you'd followed the picture link all would have been made clear. I could have said fanny of course, but in America the word means something very different indeed - hence the look of mute bafflement on a hitherto belligerent London bus-driver's face when an old American girlfriend told him to go kiss my fanny.

Apparantly Zappa's Over-Nite Sensation refers to the practise of using a grapefruit for the purposes of masturbation. Any other strange accessories out there in the taboo realms of wanklore?

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Rusty Dobro
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 09:20 AM

Our local council, or maybe newspaper, is issuing car stickers with the legend 'Don't Be A Tosser!', directed at litter-droppers. When I was growing up, 'tosser' was a heavy-duty swear-word, just like 'wanker' - you wouldn't let a grown-up hear you saying it. When I see the stickers, half a century drops away and feel guilty just seeing the word. (And I've worked in a dock-yard for over 30 years since then!)

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Aug 09 - 10:54 PM

We should probably also discuss whether the following words are politically correct:

pissant

dipstick (the pejorative form)

dumbass

prat

grease monkey

blatherskite

diddlemacher

pinhead

wonk

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Stringsinger
Date: 16 Aug 09 - 01:36 PM

Shweik,

Wanker is quaint and from the other side of the Pond. Actually it could be liberally applied to almost anyone in politics, religion or popular music.

I have been called by this epithet by someone who didn't have a legitimate rebuttal to
a discussion on Iraq.

It intimates a lack of regard for others, hence, the idea of autoeroticism at the expense of sharing intimacy.

As a participant in Shweikian endeavors in the military farce, you are undoubtably aware of its practice among frustrated warriors.

At least unless abnormally abused, a wanker will not produce a canker.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Emma B
Date: 16 Aug 09 - 01:46 PM

Not certain about a grapefruit but there's always the fictional Turkish proverb,
"A woman for duty / A boy for pleasure / But a melon for ecstasy."

Some UK catters may well remember dancing to the Melons for Ecstasy ceilidh band - I remember trying to explain the name to my secretary at the time :)

I've heard some stranger stories from medical friends in Emergency rooms however :)

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: The Sandman
Date: 16 Aug 09 - 01:53 PM

Stringsinger,very good,you made me laugh.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Amos
Date: 16 Aug 09 - 04:35 PM

The expression "jerk-off" is much, much younger than the word "jerk" meaning a foolish or stupid person. Recall that a soda fountain attendant was also called a jerk (a soda jerk), a useage not found much today. And there are a lot of other meanings to jerk, including a treatment of pork or beef. Some of these go back a century or more, I would guess; but "jerk off " is probably 20th century.


A

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Amos
Date: 16 Aug 09 - 04:38 PM

jerk (n.) Look up jerk at Dictionary.com
    1935, "tedious and ineffectual person," Amer.Eng. carnival slang, perhaps from jerkwater town (1878), where a steam locomotive crew had to take on boiler water from a trough or a creek because there was no water tank. This led 1890s to an adj. use of jerk as "inferior, insignificant." Probably also infl. by verb jerk off, slang for "perform male masturbation" (first recorded 1916). Jerk off (n.) as an emphatic form of jerk (n.) first attested 1968.
jerk (v.) Look up jerk at Dictionary.com
    1550, "to lash, strike as with a whip," of uncertain origin, perhaps echoic. Noun sense of "sudden sharp pull or twist" first recorded 1575. Meaning "involuntary spasmodic movement of limbs or features" first recorded 1805. As the name of a popular dance, it is attested from 1966. Sense in soda jerk attested from 1883, from the pulling motion required to work the taps.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Jack Blandiver
Date: 17 Aug 09 - 05:09 AM

I've heard some stranger stories from medical friends in Emergency rooms however :)

Do tell!

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Smokey.
Date: 17 Aug 09 - 07:24 PM

I've heard of a peeled potato having to be removed from the darkest depths of a clergyman's rectum, which somehow, in itself, doesn't greatly surprise me, but the excuse he gave the nurses was wonderful. He claimed he was standing naked on the sink replacing the curtains in his kitchen, and slipped, sitting down very hard on the offending vegetable which just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Ever since I heard that, I've steadfastly avoided changing my curtains naked.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Aug 09 - 11:38 PM

Smart move. Naked curtain changing can be very hazardous and the results can be embarrassing. My cousin, for instance, got a live guinea pig, a bottle of Tia Maria, a stapler, 3 back issues of "Good Housekeeping", and six navel oranges stuck up his rectum in exactly the same fashion, and you can imagine how embarrassing that was when he went to the emergency!

So DON'T hang curtains in the nude if you wish to avoid this sort of thing. People just don't understand.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Peace
Date: 17 Aug 09 - 11:43 PM

You have all heard about the ape that encountered a similar problem?

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Smokey.
Date: 18 Aug 09 - 12:06 AM

Ugh - I hate Tia Maria, but it's probably preferable to actually drinking the stuff.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Smokey.
Date: 18 Aug 09 - 01:01 AM

Ape?

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Peace
Date: 18 Aug 09 - 01:10 AM

An ape went into a bar with its human master. The bartender told the guy to keep his ape away from the pool table because the balls were ivory and now impossible to replace.

Well, the ape went to the table, picked up the cue ball and swallowed it.

The bartender threw them out with the admonishment 'never to return'.

Two days later the fellow and ape entered the bar. The fellow was carrying a small box that was gift wrapped. Bartender told them to leave but the fellow gave him the box with sincere apologies. Inside was the cue ball all white and clean, sparkling. So, the barkeep told them they could stay but to keep the ape away from the table.

As the evening wore on, the ape would take pieces of pizza crust and shove them up his arse, take them out and eat them. Same with crisps, peanuts, celery, etc.

The barkeep asked the fellow what the ape was doing and the fellow replied, "Well, ever since he passed that cue ball he's been checking the size of everything he eats!"

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Jeri
Date: 18 Aug 09 - 08:38 AM

You can believe that potato thing if you've ever seen that video of an elephant sitting on a guys head.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Smokey.
Date: 18 Aug 09 - 02:49 PM

Thanks, Peace :-)
- - - -
Can't help admiring the elephant's sense of humour..
Much as I'm against the exploitation of animals, I can't help thinking that would make an excellent punishment for incompetent politicians and suchlike.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Peace
Date: 18 Aug 09 - 08:55 PM

Well, the election of wankers certainly helps keep them contained. We always knew what they were doing, but now we know where they're doing it.

Subject: RE: BS: is the word wanker politically correct
From: Smokey.
Date: 18 Aug 09 - 09:12 PM

Heck yes - put them on a pedestal and let them publicly demonstrate their masturbatory skills, it's better than the furtive friggers of the financial world who just leave it around for people to slip on.