BS: Happee Christmus to Everbodie!!!

Subject: BS: Happee Christmus to Everbodie!!!
From: GUEST,Rufus and Retha May
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 07:09 PM

Well thys year has jus flowed by an I figugerd cents I got a Chiristmus furlow fir the hollerdays that Isz jus might stop en and say hey to all my frends heer in Mudcrap Tavern so hey

An Iz had a reel good year cept fir that liddle problim I had wid them Green Boyz when I went over their an borowed a fuel pump frum 1 of there Chevetttes an been havin to help the cheriff out aronde the jail becauze of doing it

But Iz home now fir Christmus wid Retha May in our kozy traylor bac in this hollard an shez reel happee to have me round to run down to Swete Sprengs Store fir twinkees an stuff

I swore off drenkin ever sence workin down at the jail so Iz figured that Iz way behind soz Iz gonna git caughted up durin thes furlow thing evn if Iz do have to pea in the cup whin I gotta go back affer Christmus

Yeah Iz prolly git sum extra dutees at the jail fir it but itz Christmas an it onlee comes round 3 times a year right

But nuff a bout me an my beutefull bride an our good fortines

Whadz you Mudders bin up too

I mean othur than arguin about Hesperises deevorce or how to make sum guitar cord

So Happee Christmus

Sinserlee yurs

Rufus an Retha May

Subject: RE: BS: Happee Christmus to Everbodie!!!
From: GUEST,heric
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 07:14 PM

jOhn? JoHn! Somebody hit him upside the head!

Subject: RE: BS: Happee Christmus to Everbodie!!!
From: Bobert
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 07:28 PM

Well, gol danged!!!

You scoundrel of a couzin... Man, I was gonna come home and start a Merry Cristmas thread myself, Rufe, and here you go and beat me to it...

Hey, I din't hear about you gettin' out. Boy, ol' Sherman Green is sho nuff gonna be surprised and probably come on up to yer trailer an put a good whuppin' on ya fir stealin' his fuel pump...

Now don't be no stranger, Rufe, and tell Rether Mays I'll come by and say "Hey" to ya'all sometime over the holidays... Sho nuff will 'cause we got a lot of catchin' up to do...

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: Happee Christmus to Everbodie!!!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 07:40 PM

hope thes thriad ising gont te bo a road of clap.
Merry Christmas anyway.
Best wishes, Mike.

Subject: RE: BS: Happee Christmus to Everbodie!!!
From: GUEST,Rufus an Retha May
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 11:10 PM

Iz don know bout no road of clap Mike but it remindz me of when Iz was in the Army and there was a lot o clap round the Army sho nuf was a lot Id have to say

But speekin of a road o crap Mister Frye has a pig farm up the hollard from me an I gotta drive true it to git home an like Mister Frye lets them piggies do what eber them piggies wanta due when they wanta due it an thatz bad fie us folkz whoz gotta drive true et on the way home

But hey that aint got nuthin bout Christmus er nuthin so Iz wont get ointo no details about that pig crap in der road er nuthin...

Subject: RE: BS: Happee Christmus to Everbodie!!!
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Dec 04 - 12:00 AM

Rufus, you ol' dawg! How th' hell's it hangin'? Did you an' Retha May git them lef'over MRE's I sent with Bubba an' Jim Bob when they come t' visit? I shore hope them boys didn' eat all them thangs afore they got t' yore place.

Hey, man, we got's th' coolest Chrismus deckerations this year. Ya know thet ol' Plymouth tha's been sittin' up on blocks in th' back yard fer years? Well, we drug thet mother out t' th' road an' rapped a buncha Chrismus lites aroun' it an' stuck ol' Santee Claus in th' driver's seat an' filled th' backseat up wif rapped up empty boxes thet look like prezents. It's reely cool. Peeple drives by an' ya kin hear th' liddle kids sayin' "Look, Maw! It's Santer Claus! An' he's drivin' a 1972 Plymouth! How come? Don't Santer drive a slay." An' ya kin hear they Maw say "He only drives a slay up nawth, shooger. It gits too danged hot fer them raindeer of his'n down 'ere. But Santer don' always drive a ol' Plymouth. Sumtime he drives a Harley hard-tail." An' sumtimes they Maw'll jus' go on an' on an' sumtime she jus' like t' watch them Chrismus lites blinkin'.

Subject: RE: BS: Happee Christmus to Everbodie!!!
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 10 Dec 04 - 03:38 AM

Hapyy Christmus Every Body.

jOhn

Subject: RE: BS: Happee Christmus to Everbodie!!!
From: GUEST,Mingulay
Date: 10 Dec 04 - 04:08 AM

Shame on youse. Santa proply drives a '57 Chevvy sidestep pickup wit a 301 inch smallblock moter all in krome. Got a Isky cam 2 4 barill Holleys zoomie headers an all. Paynted in red metilflyk wi so much lacker y' carnt mezure it w' a rooler.

Santa in a Plymouth don't bare thinkin' 'bout.

Harpy Christmus to yew jOhn.

Seesanol Grittings from yore ol' buddy - Billy Bob Jo Beth.

Subject: RE: BS: Happee Christmus to Everbodie!!!
From: GUEST,Rufus and Retha May
Date: 10 Dec 04 - 07:51 AM

Nice to here frum ya beadublaell

To anser yir quistin idz hangin ok but not really grate sins I godda be back to wiek at the jail the day affer Christmus an that means pore ol Rethaa May is gonna haft to take downed the dekerasions dis year all by her Retha May seff

Az fir that Plimoth you wanta wirk a trade affer Iz finesh up wid helpin the cheriff at da jail sinz a got 7 klassik Chivettes which sum of them run ok

But iz wid you pal on the plymiths cause day will run cirkles round no iskenderrian clamed up 57 Chevrlea wich in my opineon waz the uglierest car eber made an dont look haft as good as a plymith or Chivette eether

1 bit of good Christmus newz es that wid me helpin out downed at der jail Retha May aint had me to runed up to the store fur her an shez los a ton of wait an prolbablee down round a trim 4 hunderd an 75 pondes an lookin ok but dont tell nobody but I gotta a good deal frum John Spicer's boy on a truc load of used Twinkees that had bin on da sheff to long an hez gonna let me borrow da truc on Christmus day an Iz jus gonna put a big red bow in top fir her

I gotta go now

Rufus

but nobodee say nuthen about da Twinkees ok

Subject: RE: BS: Happee Christmus to Everbodie!!!
From: GUEST,Mingulay
Date: 10 Dec 04 - 08:12 AM

Aint never seen a Chivette lookin good as no Pintoe. Mind you I hears a Edsel better lookin than Retha May an a hole lot smaller anyways. Yo beta watchout wid dem Twinkies or she not goin ter fit in back of a Kenworth say nuthin bout a old Plymuth.

Wahts yer best trade on them lidl ol chevvis.

Subject: RE: BS: Happee Christmus to Everbodie!!!
From: Bobert
Date: 10 Dec 04 - 06:22 PM

Hey, Mingulay, I agree with ya 110%... I liked the Pinto a whole lot more than them dumb Chevetttes but my couzin Rufus has yard full of 'um and things they is the greatest cars ever made... But then again he thinks Retha Mays is the most beutiful woamn in the world and does eveything in the world fir her..

He's got one Chevette 4 door he made for her where he welded both drivers side doors together so they open as one and put the drivers seat where the back seat used to be and welded up a long steering column and pedal and put some big old tires on that side of the car. It works okay unless he's driving it and then it pulls real hard to the right sin the bou only weighs 'bout a hundred pounds hiself...

Now, I'll say this much fir the boy. He is sho nuff flat out in love with that ol' gal and the two of 'um was made fir each other...

Sniff....