BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!

Subject: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 May 08 - 11:08 PM

For the many Mudcat men who may be feeling a bit left out at this point. A bit unappreciated. A bit bereft.

Yes...this is the thread where you can let it all hang out and tell your tales of male bonding round the campfire, beating drums together in the deep woods, exchanging stories of past affronts and challenges to your dignity and your manhood, plumbing the depths of your emotional hurts in a safe and supportive group that won't laugh at you, then running naked through the trees together, peeing outside against trees and boulders, howling at the moon, and getting in touch with your inner cavechild together! Yessiree.

Go to it.

I trust that the moderators will make sure that no womenz stray into this all-male thread.... ;-D

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor
Date: 07 May 08 - 11:20 PM

Glug!
Glug!
Glug!
Glug!


Burrrruuuppppp!!

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: Wincing Devil
Date: 07 May 08 - 11:22 PM

Who bringing the S'mores®?

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: Amos
Date: 07 May 08 - 11:23 PM

You men need to answer up to your commitments and face your true Selfs is whut I think.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: frogprince
Date: 07 May 08 - 11:38 PM

Damn right, L.H.; who wants to get naked in a group that includes womenz???

All through high school, college, and Navy years, I experienced male herd showers without giving it any real thought. Then (too long a story to get into) I found myself in nudist settings. A few years further on, I wound up working in a foundry for a year or so. Driving home without taking a male herd shower was out of the question. Quite a few of the bunch acted like total baboons in the showers. Surrounded by this, and nearly blind without my glasses, I was taken off guard by how uncomfortable I felt. To top it off, I don't know how anyone could go through the process without occasionally losing his grip on a bar of soap. If I did, I would squat, not bend over, and retrieve the soap as quickly as I could. I was soon informed that I was suspected of being "queer" for my shower room behaviour. At least no one threatened me physically over it; but how do ya win in some situations?

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: Big Mick
Date: 07 May 08 - 11:47 PM

We must have campfire songs...... I am going to suggest (as Charley Noble once did) a rousing chorus of:

MALE BONDING SONG

(Words & Music by Bill Gallaher © 1995
From The Last Battle
CD BGM 1002)

  

  G                                      C 

  When we learned, it was a shocking re-ve-lation 

        D                                         G 

  That somehow as men we simply hadn't grown;

                               G7                 C 

  So we looked at all you women, and your pride in feminism,

            D7                               G 

  And we started up a movement of our own.

         C  D  G         C            D 

  Now we are men, and proud to be men;

       G           C              D 

  We meet every Sa-tur-day at three;

                G                         G7 

  And we ex-plore with great per-sis-tence,

        C 

  Our mas-cu-line existence,

             D                                           G 

  Beat our drums, and run off naked through the trees.

  

  Chorus:

  G                                                C 

  Oh, we all go running naked through the trees,

      D                             G 

  As naked as a jaybird, if you please,

                                 G7 

  Oh, we throw off all our wrappings,

               C 

  And with private parts a-flapping,

        D                                     G 

  We all go running naked through the trees!

  

Yes, every weekend we all meet deep in the forest,

Where we beat our drums and fashion spears from trees;

And with our faces painted, we all get re-acquainted

With our atavistic masculinity.

For we are men and proud to be men,

We meet every Saturday at three;

And we flaunt with great pretension

Those long penile extensions,

As we all go running naked through the trees...



I guess we spent too long pretending we were something we were not,

While we hid our inner turmoil and our strife;

You thought we had a bed of roses though we stood with runny noses,

Pressed up hard against the window pane of life.

Now we are men and damn proud to be men,

We meet every Saturday at three;

And if you think it's just depravity,

You don't know what it's like to be,

A man gone running naked through the trees (It hurts!)...

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: frogprince
Date: 08 May 08 - 12:29 AM

Ohmygawd, what if she saw my peepee...

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor
Date: 08 May 08 - 01:03 AM

Time for beans!!

mmmm beans mmmmm

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor
Date: 08 May 08 - 01:08 AM

Cards anyone?

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 08 May 08 - 02:25 AM

OK, just nobody piss in the fire again!

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: catspaw49
Date: 08 May 08 - 02:57 AM

Aw geeziz..........bonding round the fire my ass......................just fuck y'all......I don't do circle jerks.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: eddie1
Date: 08 May 08 - 03:00 AM

Just got this in an e-mail this morning:

BBQ RULES
We are about to enter the summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity, as it's the only type of cooking a 'real' man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved.

When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine...

(1)The woman buys the food.
(2)The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3)The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - drink in hand.

Here comes the important part:

(4)THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine...

(5)The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
(6)The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another drink while he deals with the situation.
>
Important again:

(7)THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine...

(8)The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(9)After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:
(10)Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(11)The man asks the woman how she enjoyed 'her night off.' And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women...

Eddie

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: Amos
Date: 08 May 08 - 03:06 AM

Damn, who let that fuzzy-headed broad into the thread?


A

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 08 May 08 - 04:05 AM

We could let Megan join us.
Come on in Meg, get your kit off.
After all I know how nice you look in pink, I have the photo's as proof!


G

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: Victor in Mapperton
Date: 08 May 08 - 04:16 AM

I saw enough of that on Brokeback Mountain. And you know what that lead to !

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: John Hardly
Date: 08 May 08 - 05:46 AM

did one of you guys borrow my darning needle?

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 08 May 08 - 06:18 AM

UhOh! Darn it!

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: artbrooks
Date: 08 May 08 - 08:19 AM

The last time I did any male bonding around a fire was when a group of us were putting out a small brush fire, and finished it off in the traditional manner. Of course, there weren't any "ladies" peekin'...

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 08 May 08 - 08:32 AM

5

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: Bill D
Date: 08 May 08 - 08:46 AM

Hmmm...I see (or rather, I DON'T see) Little Hawk standing on the sidelines, letting everyone else pretend that they know what the heck one does to 'bond'...(other than the super glue idea).

Myself, I don't think I have ever even contemplated putting out a campfire with 'processed' beer.

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 May 08 - 08:54 AM

Boy, this is really heart-warming, isn't it? Such a response since last night. Wow. There's enough material here to keep a men's psychotherapist busy for years. Ooooo-weeee.

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 May 08 - 09:02 AM

Well, I gotta go now. Gotta teach a bunch of women about shooting guns this afternoon.




























(Really!)

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: Peace
Date: 08 May 08 - 10:16 AM

. . . and not ONE mention of sheep?

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: Big Mick
Date: 08 May 08 - 11:05 AM

No sheep, but Bossy the stump trained cow is just around the corner......

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: Peace
Date: 08 May 08 - 11:12 AM

Yeah. Heard the one about the French Foreign Legion and the camel?

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: Amos
Date: 08 May 08 - 12:10 PM

In actual male-bonding expeditions, I don't think dirty jokes are part of the ritual. They are symptomatic ofmen who have lost their centers and are still trying to recover their balance within, you see.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 May 08 - 12:12 PM

And that would include, oh, about 99% of the men out there, right?

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 May 08 - 12:44 PM

You're kidding, right? Why, I haven't even dared open that other thread... ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: artbrooks
Date: 08 May 08 - 12:53 PM

Nah, LH...only the ones who ain't vet'rans and REpublicans....

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: PoppaGator
Date: 08 May 08 - 01:05 PM

Fuck that campfire; you guys can come over to my house to watch sports on TV. Don't forget to bring beer!

The wife is off to the beach this afternoon for a four-day weekend with her girlfriends. Hornets & Spurs tip off at 8:30 Central. I'm open to suggestion for what to watch Friday evening and Saturday afternoon, but I must insist that we watch Game Four of New Orleans at SanAntonio on SAturday night.

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: gnu
Date: 08 May 08 - 01:56 PM

Now yer talkin! As long as we can watch hockey too. I AM a Canuck, so, it's, like, required, eh? Ya Know?

BTW... LH... I dunno about you Uppity Canadians, but down home in The Merrytimes, we usually dress up fer the woods. Parka in the winter and a Bug-Me-Not in the summer (with gloves or fly dope).

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: Amos
Date: 08 May 08 - 01:56 PM

Who let that bossy broad into this thread?



A

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 May 08 - 01:57 PM

Yes, those scars just last and last, don't they? ;-) And what would highly paid therapists do without them?

Just wait. There is an only-Chimps thread coming up shortly too.

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: gnu
Date: 08 May 08 - 02:07 PM

A... what bossy broad?

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: Big Mick
Date: 08 May 08 - 02:25 PM

Women aint allowed.....*****spit*****scratch****......in this thread, so she got herself deleted. She was jes whinin' about some old shit anyway. Would someone pass me that beer? We are out of milk and I need something to wet my Cheerios........***urp***poot

***BRRRRRRAAAAAWWWWWMMMMMMPPPPPPPHHHHHH***

Someone pass me a napkin......and the roll of toilet paper....

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: Amos
Date: 08 May 08 - 02:35 PM

Well, all right, boys. So answer up. Are you honoring your commitments and being true to your Inner Warrior, Wizard, Child, Spirit Animal, Elder and Higher Self?

A

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: PoppaGator
Date: 08 May 08 - 02:44 PM

gnu:

I'm willing to tune in to hockey, and learn all about it, provided yuo bring some good Canadian beer FROM CANADA ~ not that wimpy-ass waterd-down stuff they make for export to the States.

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 May 08 - 02:56 PM

Git it yerself, Mick.

I went to an all-male high school and then almost immediately went into the almost-all-male Army. In high school I was in the band, because it was the ONLY co-ed activity.

Hanging around in stinkin' gym locker rooms or playing with girls? There's a choice there?

I'm gonna go teach women about guns now.

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: gnu
Date: 08 May 08 - 04:00 PM

PG.... you name it and I will bring it. And, I will teach you all about REAL hockey. We'll start off with You Tube videos of Don Cherry, former coach of the Boston Bruins and the biggest mouth you ever loved to KINDA hate BUT love. Sheeee-it. We might just catch the end of a game after watchin "Grapes".

As for beer... you name it and I'll bring it. Of course, and I am goin out on a limb here, but, I drink Canuck Bud myself. It keeps me hydrated (>;-) and my head up when I'm comin over my own blueline eh.

As fer that there roundball, I love watchin it too. 'Cept that there rule about not bein able to check a guy tryin to score on yer net. Not bein able to even block him just ain't right. I mean, if ya can't knock him on his ass, what sport is there in that?

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: Max
Date: 08 May 08 - 04:19 PM

OK boys, pony up. You think this fire burns by itself. We need 15 MB/s of firewood and the matches cost a quarter, not to mention the stones for the pit we had to dig with a shovel I bought in the general store, my horse is thirsty and don't get me started on the beans, plus all this time I'm spending and the land that I had to buy to put you all up, and Mick wants toilet paper? What do you think this is the 4 seasons?....

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: Peace
Date: 08 May 08 - 04:24 PM

Don Cherry could teach the world how to dress. Tasteful and elegant.

Mick's a wimp. Toilet paper. Shees. Save a tree. Wipe yer arse on an owl!

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: Peace
Date: 08 May 08 - 04:30 PM

Most people would kill to actually own a jacket like this one . . . .

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 08 May 08 - 04:39 PM

Is that a quarter each your lordship sir?


G

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: Willie-O
Date: 08 May 08 - 04:39 PM

Firewood don't come in megabytes Max. Everybuddy knows you get it by the chord.

Although I would urge that no one take the "firewood" reputation of 70's Gibsons literally....and Ovations don't burn right....

W-O

Apparently I'm batchin it tonight since the wife's got yoga--guess I'll throw a chicken on the fire and open another brown bottle.

Mick I don't know about your multi-coloured belching thar--not your most manly effort and didn't you used to save that code for your references to "The Fair One" as I recall? Distinctly suspect.

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: artbrooks
Date: 08 May 08 - 04:41 PM

Save the owl - use the tree. Cacti are good for that, too.

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 May 08 - 04:42 PM

Jeezus, Peace! I was nearly blinded when I opened those links to the Don Cherry wardrobe. Did you know that he is Shane's biggest hero?

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: gnu
Date: 08 May 08 - 05:03 PM

He is THE biggest hero. That is a male bonded! Bigger than BillBoy, in my estimation.

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: topical tom
Date: 08 May 08 - 05:20 PM

Hey, guys, heard this one:

                        Can you make a u(ewe)turn?
                        No, but I can make her eyes bulge.

   Now, pass the beer and let's sing some limericks!

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 08 May 08 - 05:28 PM

Slumping economy: It's a guy thing

Men are losing jobs in this downturn, while women make gains

By Peter Coy
Business Week
updated 1:05 p.m. CT, Thurs., May. 8, 2008

They eat from the same dishes and sleep in the same beds, but they seem to be operating in two different economies. From last November through this April, American women aged 20 and up gained nearly 300,000 jobs, according to the household survey of the Bureau of Labor Statistics. At the same time, American men lost nearly 700,000 jobs. You might even say American men are in recession, and American women are not.
...

So do we know who "the enemy" is now? (probably not without reading the whole article)

John

Subject: RE: BS: Male Bonding round the fire - Men only!!
From: gnu
Date: 08 May 08 - 05:28 PM

I have had periods like that. But, not like that. The third period is the best, of course.