BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!

Subject: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 01 Aug 07 - 03:40 AM

It's the first of August, school holidays are underway, half the office is in Malagar or Tenerife, the sky is cloudless and blue, it's time for a little snifter of something - after all, it's 5 o'clock somewhere! Sangria, sunburn and sand is optional, shades are compulsory, as are silly sunhats. Mine's rainbow striped.

And for all you smokers out there, there's a brand new smoking room extension just for you, separated from the main tavern by this big sheet of lavendar scented glass with two way intercom so you can enjoy the music AND your tobacco habit. No lipstick drawings on the glass please, and no "amusing" suction games either... we've all seen 'Independance Day' and it wasn't that funny!

So... who's got the olives?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: Cats
Date: 01 Aug 07 - 05:17 AM

And as I am holidaying in sunny UK this year [well at home really], I will be serving large jugs of cold Pimms and there will be Croquet on the lawn. Smoked Salmon Sandwiches will be available. To find us, just go through the back of the Mudcat Tavern and take the winding lane up the hill by the wood.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 01 Aug 07 - 09:14 AM

Ooohhh.. croquet. I used to go out with a croquet champion, the game is a lot more violent than you'd think... mind you, so was he so I dumped him!

White rum and tropical fruit juice please.

Why's the rum always gone?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: Leadfingers
Date: 01 Aug 07 - 09:19 AM

Never got into Croquet - Or even ordinary knitting !

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: MMario
Date: 01 Aug 07 - 09:19 AM

I've got a big charcoal grill, a barbecue pit and a smoker going - couple of dodo's in the smoker and a full gross of passenger pigeons; I'm smoking them over a mix of apple and cherry; moistened with Calvados.

The barbecue coals are ready, but I can't decide whether to do the iguanadon loin roast in the pit or slice it into medallions and grill them.

What do you think?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: MMario
Date: 01 Aug 07 - 04:28 PM

t'heck with it. I decided to braise the iguanadon and make it into pulled meat sandwiches. The Passenger Pigeons are nicely smopked - I'm chilliing them down in the cooler - they will do nicely sliced very thinly.

There's a pair of aurochs in the barbecue pit; But I decided to do them in the ground oven style - so we should be able to dig up the covering sometime about noonish tomorrow and feast.

Grill is still going - lots of marinated veggies in the coolers next to it ready to go on. It's cook your own!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: ClaireBear
Date: 01 Aug 07 - 04:47 PM

I think that's a much wiser choice, now you've said it...I've tried both the medallion and loin roast methods, and neither is entirely satisfactory.

Is the open-air pizza oven fired up yet? I have loads of dough made up -- and vats of sauce from my home-grown tomatoes, garlic and herbs bubbling merrily away -- for the do-it-yourself pizza bar. I am now getting ready to chop, grate, and slice toppings, but I'm not sure which ones to tackle first. Are there any requests?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: Leadfingers
Date: 01 Aug 07 - 04:52 PM

Is Bert's card still behind the Bar ? I ' ll have a LARGE Jameson please - For a Start !

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: gnu
Date: 01 Aug 07 - 05:09 PM

I think I'll have a couple of Turkey Turd Beer before I join Mario at the BBQ.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: ClaireBear
Date: 01 Aug 07 - 05:38 PM

The best thing about this tavern is that you can still get beer that's long since vanished everywhere else. So a pint of Old Chester, please, and then a soft place to land when I fall over...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 01 Aug 07 - 05:58 PM

That'll be the jello pit then Cllr....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: frogprince
Date: 01 Aug 07 - 08:26 PM

Oh, thank you Lord, a place out of the current heat in Michigan. How about a Kahlua and cream, here; haven't had one in way too long.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: MMario
Date: 01 Aug 07 - 08:47 PM

There's a large tray of ice cold glaceed seedless grapes and cherries. Love that tart-sweet burst of cold in the mouth when you bite one.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: JennyO
Date: 01 Aug 07 - 10:55 PM

JennyO comes in from the South Door and takes off a layer or two of warm clothing...


Oh this is better - nice and warm. Good to get away from the Oz winter for a while. I have a few jars of lilli pilli jelly here that I made - it makes a lovely topping for icecream. We DO have icecream, don't we?

Meanwhile, I'll just hang out at the bar with a turkey turd beer and wait for the Aurochs to be cooked. The marinated veges sound good too.

Has the Squid found the jello pit yet?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: SINSULL
Date: 01 Aug 07 - 11:27 PM

Air conditioning and fresh cherries. Thank you! I moved to Maine for the weather but I feel as if I am back in the NYC sauna.

Chilled wine, preferably white. Oh hell. Make it champagne! Bert's card still works?

Once I cool down I will be happy to help at the BBQ pit especially if that squid shows up. Calamari all 'round.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: Janie
Date: 01 Aug 07 - 11:40 PM

This is soooo nice. I'll take whatever is wettest and coldest.

UMmmmmm, Mmario. I don't know how you stand being by that fire pit, but I'm glad you can. Whatever you have going there smells delish!

Y'all care if I find a big soft chair with a stool to just sink into?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 02 Aug 07 - 12:55 AM

Er.... Janie... that's not a big soft chair, that's the squid. He's vacationing out of the pit for a few days. Besides, the pit is full of Cllr. Don't even ask about the stool.

Here, have this one by the window. The breeze is coming in off the aurochs and you can stare at Mmario's butt as he tends them.

Frogprince - I'd not tried that combination before, but I suspect it may become a favourite. Does it have a name? Can I add white rum to it?

Right.. now who's turn is it to get the duck out of the rafters?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: GUEST,Sick Squid
Date: 02 Aug 07 - 04:17 AM

Squid saunters slowly in garbed in a Yellow Hawaiian shirt and Purple Hang Ten shorts, over one tentacle hangs a large beach towel and clasped in another is a sun lounger, two more drag a large and obviously heavy cooler box. He sets up the lounger by the jello pit and opening the cooler takes out a large bag of "Cap'n Ahab's Frozen Krill" which is printed with the legend "The NEW Snacking Sensation". From the depths of the box he produces a nicely chilled bottle of Chablis, pours himself a large glass, adjusts his shades and settles down to a lazy afternoon.

Directly above him a duck sits in the rafters.........

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: MMario
Date: 02 Aug 07 - 08:48 AM

**props large beach umbrella over the Squid before the %#@#$%# duck decides to coause a confrontation - which it would do at the dropping of . . .never mind.**

Janie - I discovered last weekend a way to cool the entire body down with a single ice cube - but it only works for guys. Enough said.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: Cats
Date: 02 Aug 07 - 10:20 AM

The someone starts singing, 'Oh, What shall I do with my octopuses leg?'

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: MMario
Date: 02 Aug 07 - 10:26 AM

INteresting - there are only two references to that phrase on the web (according to google) - and they are both here at the mudcat.

Remainder of the words?

Anyone?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: ClaireBear
Date: 02 Aug 07 - 10:30 AM

ClaireBear wonders how she got in the jello pit, why everyone is calling her Cllr, where the hell that squid went. and what that god-awful racket is.

Oh, and is that Rapaire's old red-and-black carpeting lending the air of, umm, Mediterranean opulence to this part of the tavern? Better head back outside and start making pizzas...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: Leadfingers
Date: 02 Aug 07 - 10:36 AM

The Octopus's Leg was written by Catter Trayton ! And was described by Les Barker as 'Silly' ! PM him for the lyrics !

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: Geordie-Peorgie
Date: 02 Aug 07 - 06:15 PM

Ah! 'fingers, Me laddo!

At last aah've caught you at the bar - How aboot that pint aah promised ye in 1992 - What'll ye hev bonny lad!

And Chef!!! Stick uz a couple of lobster claws on the BBQ - Me and Leadfingers is 'rattlin' the cage the neet'

Slainte aall you Taverners - Get one doon yez!
G-P

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 02 Aug 07 - 07:11 PM

Subtitles available on Ceefax page 888 for those born south of the Trent!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: frogprince
Date: 02 Aug 07 - 07:46 PM

Wherever I've had a kahlua and cream, it's been called "kahlua and cream". You hafta watch out for the stuff, though; it doesn't even taste like booze, and then it can hit you like a tranquilizer dart : )
MMario, this meat is delicious, but I just found a chip of stone spear-head in it...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: Amos
Date: 02 Aug 07 - 09:22 PM

(Wanders in from the Oher South Door).

I ache all over from two weeks of strenuous physical labour, but it's done now. Repaired the waterfall, moved the bloody brickile to the back, dug the trench behind the hedgerow and put in sprinklers, ran pipes to valve and installed same; drilled through house wall to garage and routed valve control wire to timer box in garage. Distributed ten cubic feet of mulch, oiled the patio suncover, caulked and painted all trim around the house, and half a dozen other blood things -- oh, built a table for my music system and moved same thereto. I tell ya, I am at my wits; end to know what to do with myself now, so I thought I'd get snockered and act up a while.

Quart of Guinness appears magically in hand to begin process. Thanks be to Bert's Credit Card.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: GUEST,Sick Squid
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 04:06 AM

Squid eyes the lobster claws as they blacken on the barbie. "So that's what happened to Eric" he muttered to himself and then laughed as a man who was attempting to learn English burnt his fingers on red hot lobster shell and then stuck them into a glass of broon ale to cool off. Leadfingers watched in amusement and then wandered off for a terrydactyl sandwich wondering why the squid looked familiar.

Subject: ADD: OCTOPUS'S LEG
From: Cats
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 07:06 AM

Octopuses Leg
to the tune of Herrings Head
Original words by Malcolm Austin

What shall I do with my Octopuses leg?
Not much I'm thinking
Turn it into a nice fried egg.

Nice fried egg, Octopus' leg
And all such things.
Of all the things that live in the sea
The octopus is no use to me.

Now what shall I do with my octopuses leg?
Not much I'm thinking
Turn it into a fine[?] clothes peg.

Fine clothes peg, nice fried egg etc

Now what shall I do with my octopuses leg?
Not much I'm thinking
Turn it into A bowl to beg
etc

Now what shall I do with my octopuses leg?
Not much I'm thinking.
Turn it into a coat for old Meg
etc

What shall I do with muy octopuses other 4 legs?
Not much I'm thinking
Turn them into a small beer keg
etc

What shall I do with my Octopuses head?
Not much I'm thinking.
Throw it away and buy a herring instead.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: GUEST,Phot, at work.
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 09:03 AM

Hello boys and girls! Did someone mention Pimms?........

If there's room I do a wicked Sea bass, with prawns, mussles, squid, garlic, herbs, and whits wine sauce.

So nice just to lie in the sun, just need Fiona, and my day is complete.

Wassail!! Chris.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 09:50 AM

Presumably the hound is in the pound then... but the squid did mention his tongue was a bit furry and he had this funny taste in his mouth...















Has Jack been trying to roger the squid again?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 03 Aug 07 - 10:13 AM

Alright, no-body move... the lens has just fallen out of my eyeglasses and I can't see the screw.

Just carefully pass me the rum and soon I won't need the glasses.

Monday it was my front tooth... got that fixed this morning... now it's my glasses... I can't afford this! Things are dropping off my prosthetics quicker than they're dropping off my body!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 04 Aug 07 - 05:49 PM

Ah well.. a glorious day here in smelly, sweaty London. Pass me the tropical fruit juice and the rum.

New glasses will cost upwards of £100 because I need varifocals (old age, get thee behind me and wait til the next but one paycheque!), running out of money fast, but I do have lots of Danish Kroner to pick up on Monday...

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 05 Aug 07 - 02:23 AM

So everyone else has buggered off and left me to pick up the tab then... best be finding Bert's card I suppose.

That guy must be making a fortune for this thing to still be valid.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 05 Aug 07 - 03:12 AM

Did someone call me Roger the Squid?

RtS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: JennyO
Date: 05 Aug 07 - 04:50 AM

Only if you really want to... :-)


Sitting on a comfortable seat eating roast auroch and marinated veges, and sipping on a nice cold Guinness, JennyO notices that the seat is moving.....






What the f........!!!! The squid shifts uncomfortably from the weight on top of it. Meanwhile, the duck is still in the rafters......

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: Megan L
Date: 05 Aug 07 - 05:04 AM

Meg daunners in frae the far north door. taks aff three layers o ganseys an planks her chorus and verse doon on a widdin bench- Ashoka his gaun walkaboot so ahm no sittin on that creepie it luks furry."Ashoka is that you beuy" the stool gies a feeble nod. dammit Liz whit hiv a telt ye aboot gien six fit silver grey siberian timber werewolves Skull splitter beer ye ken fine he canny haunnle it.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 05 Aug 07 - 12:10 PM

Beg pardon???

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: lady penelope
Date: 05 Aug 07 - 01:34 PM

She says stop feeding the dog beer, Liz.... (well that's the abridged version...)

Liz & Frogprince - Kalhua & cream = ok BUT Kahlua, cream & cointreau = FANTASTIC and is called a Velvet Hammer.

Ugh, it's too hot for this poor wee red head. I really will have to consider moving further north you know....

Peel me an ice cold grape Beulah......

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 05 Aug 07 - 05:17 PM

What's a grape Beulah? Is it like a mango chutney?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 06 Aug 07 - 02:28 AM

Mmm.. .so what is it called without the Kahlua and with blue curacao instead of the Cointreau? Mind you... it's a very pretty shade of pale china blue...

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: lady penelope
Date: 06 Aug 07 - 03:53 PM

ick I think....

If you have green creme de menth + white creme de menth (or vodka at a push) + cream you get alcoholic liquid mint Aero! Or Grasshopper as it's more properly known...

I think I need muscle relaxant.... first 15 miles on a bike are always the hardest....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: SINSULL
Date: 06 Aug 07 - 06:32 PM

HMMMM. This may be the very place to divest myself of that vile blue raspberry lemonade. Any takers?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: MMario
Date: 07 Aug 07 - 08:12 AM

I try never to drink anything blue. Not since that incident with the romulan ale. *shudder*

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: GUEST,Squeaky at work
Date: 07 Aug 07 - 08:17 AM

Hey, a new door has opened up in the West Wing... I can now sneak in whilst at work!

So... Barkeep - pass me something suitable for working hours please - the stronger the better!

I'm disappointed that you've given up drinking blue stuff... you never know what you're missing!

Oh, and who was it decided that raspberry flavour slushies should be electric blue in colour when raspberries are not?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: MMario
Date: 07 Aug 07 - 08:19 AM

Electric blue seems to have become the default colour to indicate raspberry flavour -0 I don't know why.

Blue food (and drink) is just *wrong*

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: GUEST,Mingulay at work
Date: 07 Aug 07 - 08:49 AM

Are we talking raspberry the fruit or raspberry the noise. Certainly the latter would be electric blue in colour if you could see the colour that is.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 07 Aug 07 - 11:59 AM

No, they're burple.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: Geordie-Peorgie
Date: 07 Aug 07 - 12:24 PM

What the hell is Kahlua? Aah cannit get me head roond aall this 'cocktail' bizness - Give uz a pint of summat with a scotch chaser anytime!

Hey! Landlord! Pass uz the crib board and cards!

Anybody up for 'twice roond the board'?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Summer Tavern open for business!
From: MMario
Date: 07 Aug 07 - 12:46 PM

Kahlua is coffee liquore.
Caffienne, sugar and alcohol in one shot.