BS: You have been warned.....

Subject: BS: You have been warned.....
From: Shanghaiceltic
Date: 06 Jan 05 - 07:23 PM

Back to the toilet again, I would love to know which other personal hygene like orifice they were thinking of?

As for the thermometer... well do you allow your cat to groom you after it has been licking its nether regions? 'Warning this cats tongue should not be used after......'

Toilet brush wins wacky bowl

Michigan anti-lawsuit group gives out "awards" for wackiest warning labels on products.
January 6, 2005: 2:09 PM EST

NEW YORK (CNN/Money) - A toilet brush with a tag that says "Do not use for personal hygiene" has taken top prize for the wackiest consumer warning label of the year, according to an anti-lawsuit group.


The Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch, M-LAW, whose main mission is to reveal how lawsuits and anxiety over lawsuits have created a need for overly obvious warnings on products, sponsors The Wacky Warning Label Contest each year.

Other top finishers this year include:

-- A scooter with the warning "This product moves when used."

-- A digital thermometer with the advice "Once used rectally, the thermometer should not be used orally."

-- An electric blender used for chopping and dicing that reminds users to "Never remove food or other items from the blades while the product is operating."

-- And a three-inch bag of air used for packaging that read "Do not use this product as a toy, pillow, or flotation device."

"Warning labels are a sign of our lawsuit-plagued times," said Robert B. Dorigo Jones, M-LAW president. "Plaintiff's lawyers who file the lawsuits that prompt these warnings argue they are making us safer, but the warnings have become so long that few of us read them anymore-- even the ones we should read."

The group hopes the contest will remind us all to read the warnings on our products more carefully and motivate judges to stop what it says are frivolous lawsuits.

The winning labels were chosen by listeners of a popular morning radio show in Detroit, the group said.

Subject: RE: BS: You have been warned.....
From: Bobert
Date: 06 Jan 05 - 07:27 PM

I love the standard "Not for Human Consumption" warning that accompanies just about every kind of tool or equipement... Like I'm going to anguish over the menu decision "chainsaw or the tuna"...

Beam me up...

Bobert

(Pick the chainsaw, Bobert. The tuna isn't fresh...)

Subject: RE: BS: You have been warned.....
From: Gypsy
Date: 06 Jan 05 - 10:04 PM

The hairdryer that proclaims: Do not use while sleeping

Subject: RE: BS: You have been warned.....
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jan 05 - 10:13 PM

The workshop router I bought that says that it is not to be used for medical or dental procedures.

The sign on a public toilet in Michigan that says, "Do Not Drink The Water In The Toilet."

The car battery with the warning "CAUTION! May cause electrical shock!"

Subject: RE: BS: You have been warned.....
From: Peace
Date: 06 Jan 05 - 10:22 PM

Do not pet the bears.

Subject: RE: BS: You have been warned.....
From: mack/misophist
Date: 06 Jan 05 - 11:12 PM

When my new set of gigli scalpels arrived, they were marked "Unsuitable for woodworking." Damn.

Subject: RE: BS: You have been warned.....
From: Gurney
Date: 06 Jan 05 - 11:30 PM

We have a wooden table and chairs which is marked 'flammable,'
and an electric jug that is 'not to be used near water' and 'to be used only with expert supervision.' Luckily, my wife is an expert at making tea.....

What is the difference between flammable and inflammable?

Subject: RE: BS: You have been warned.....
From: GUEST,Chief Chaos
Date: 07 Jan 05 - 12:45 PM

As I stated in another thread:

Flammable - apt to ignite
Inflammable - a word used at the end of a sentence to denote stupidity as in - "Naw ma, I can smoke here next to the kerosene, see it says inflammable!"

Subject: RE: BS: You have been warned.....
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 07 Jan 05 - 02:33 PM

You can up the ante on goofy warnings by looking at poorly translated caution statements. I bought a clear plastic storage jar with a blue lid in a Dollar Store one time just for the label. I keep it handy for an occasional chuckle (like now). My ex, who speaks Spanish, says the original Spanish instructions are clear and have correct syntax. But this is what they look like in English:

No use in microwaves or convencional furnace

Dishearten the foods and hot liquid at the ambient temperature before paking in the pot

Wash with tepid water or cold water, avoiding the use of the aluading agent

Only the lid may be to carry at top in the dishes-wash

My daughter occasionally visits a web site called "Engrish" that posts non-English speaker attempts to translate instructions into English. She sent them this one. I never did ask if they used it.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: You have been warned.....
From: Bill D
Date: 07 Jan 05 - 02:44 PM

I guess it only takes one silly lawsuit from ONE careless fool who DID try using the hairdryer while standing in the bath to prompt warning against it....and the bears are SO cute...

but I can't imagine why anyone would stick their fingers into a whirrling blender.

Subject: RE: BS: You have been warned.....
From: Peace
Date: 07 Jan 05 - 02:49 PM

What is the difference between flammable and inflammable?

Story I heard about that is this:

Inflammable was the original word--and it meant 'capable of burning, catching on fire'. However, people began to confuse that with other words where the 'in' prefix means not. So, flammable came into existence. Inflammable entered the language in 1605. Flammab(ility) entered the language in 1646.

I don't know if the above 'what I heard' is true. But, it makes sense.

BM

Subject: RE: BS: You have been warned.....
From: pdq
Date: 07 Jan 05 - 02:56 PM

...the punchline from a George Carlin bit... "seems to me it either flamms or it don't!"

Subject: RE: BS: You have been warned.....
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 07 Jan 05 - 06:01 PM

Brucie, I know you know the difference (flammable will burn, inflammable will explode) so you're asking about the semantics of the words, is that it?

Because of the confusion ("un," not "in," would mean it doesn't burn or explode), the Federal Highway folks here in the U.S. have for some years now stopped using "flammable" and "inflammable" and are using "flammable" and "explosive" on those signs (like these--scroll to the bottom and find links to the signs).

SRS