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BS: Hurray for Koala Semen and the Buffalos! |
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Subject: BS: Hurray for Koala Semen and the Buffalos! From: Amos Date: 31 Oct 06 - 11:08 AM Science is wonderful, a pure discipline of discovery and knowledge among the finest accomplishments of the human mind. But in a world of madmen, the sane man gets named mad, n'est-ce pas? Let us raise a glass to two widely disparate accomplishmeents recently announced by Science One is a dramatic improvement in the shelf life of Koala semen, which will mean a lot to all you lonely-heart Koala spinsters out there reading this and wondering why God gave you ovaries in the first place. Here is your answer!!!! The second is the resurgence of the American bison or buffalo, once the Major Player in WIsconsin, Idaho, Indiana, Missouri, and many other states since infested with Republicans. Three cheers for Science. Remember, boys and girls, Science knows more than you do! A |
Subject: RE: BS: Hurray for Koala Semen and the Buffalos! From: Amos Date: 31 Oct 06 - 11:15 AM In other news, using smoke and mirrors Science has finally demonstrated that elephants are aware of themselves. Now, any fool who has ever talked to an elephant knows this, and the families of those life-long dedicated mahouts of India and Thailand have understood this inherently for over three thousand years, passing the wisdom on from generation unto generation on both the human side and on the elephant side. You may have forgotten this, or not been there at the time, but somewhere around 300 AD, Ptolemy Philadelphus was presented with a young elephant which understood the Greek language of the district where it had been brought up. Hitherto it was believed that elephants understood only the language spoken by Indians. This according to the early naturalist Aelian, in his seminal work De Natura Animalium from the 3rd Century. But NOW, Science has spoken with high-priced, carefully establish authority to say it has been proven that elephants are aware of themselves. Proven, no less, through the use of mirrors!! The mind boggles! Why didn't they just ask the mahout families? A |
Subject: RE: BS: Hurray for Koala Semen and the Buffalos! From: Metchosin Date: 31 Oct 06 - 11:25 AM And while we're at it, Three cheers for poo!!!! |
Subject: RE: BS: Hurray for Koala Semen and the Buffalos! From: Geoff the Duck Date: 31 Oct 06 - 11:33 AM And I had assumed this was another American Football or Baseball fan thread... Quack! Geoff. |
Subject: RE: BS: Hurray for Koala Semen and the Buffalos! From: catspaw49 Date: 31 Oct 06 - 11:42 AM Hell Geoff, I thought it was another wacky band name......... Spaw |
Subject: RE: BS: Hurray for Koala Semen and the Buffalos! From: Amos Date: 31 Oct 06 - 12:30 PM Makes a great name fer a band all right. Some kind of doo-wop, electric Nashville and jugband blend. Hey Mets, that's great about the Poop Exhibit. Especially the couple offering the added incentive of a sample of Secretariat's dung enclosed in a glass globe. Ya gotta wonder who the glass blower was who got the commission to produce it. "Yeah, Lunger Glass Works here, how can I help you....yes ma'a'm we do custom blow jobs..price varies on the nature of the job, amount and kind of glass used, yeah....and of course how tricky the blow is...we'd have to estimate based on more information, ma'am, otherwise I can't tell you...you want what? A horse what????? Ummmmm...right... lemme see... Secretariat, huh? Tell ya what,ma'am, let me transfer your call to my supervisor... I think he can help you...he rode a horse one time, I think he said..." A |
Subject: RE: BS: Hurray for Koala Semen and the Buffalos! From: JohnInKansas Date: 31 Oct 06 - 02:52 PM The recent issue of Smithsonian magazine has three separate bits with some new, and in part controversial, conclusions about Bonobo society that may be of interest. Not exactly what's been reported previously, although not radically different for the most part. John |
Subject: RE: BS: Hurray for Koala Semen and the Buffalos! From: JohnInKansas Date: 31 Oct 06 - 03:08 PM Mentioned previously in another thread, but some may have missed it. American Scientist reports on plans to detect and record the noises made by black holes when they collide. Ho-hum science, since the theory's been around for a while; but the engineering they're planning is rather impressive. "The Sounds of Spacetime." There's a pdf you can download to read at leisure. John |
Subject: RE: BS: Hurray for Koala Semen and the Buffalos! From: Rapparee Date: 31 Oct 06 - 03:16 PM Yeah, them buffs have sure made a resurgence here in Idaho. You can't go anywhere without stumbling over two or three of 'em. Terrible, it is. They're everywhere: laundromats, bars, restaurants, carwashes, bars, courtrooms, dry cleaners, school playgrounds, bars, even up at the hospital emergency room. I'll tell ya, them buffs are a right nuisance. And now there's all that koala semen sloshing around. It's awful, just awful. |
Subject: RE: BS: Hurray for Koala Semen and the Buffalos! From: JohnInKansas Date: 31 Oct 06 - 05:28 PM We've got a State Park about 60 miles north of town that has kept a herd of bison for several decades. They generally have about 100 of them, and occasionally auction off excess. They also mix in a small herd of elk with them, and they seem to get along okay. There's also a farmer about 40 miles south who keeps a small herd, with meat for sale pretty regularly. I don't know how many he has; but have seen a herd up by the road that looked like 20 or 30, with quite a few calves. There are, or were, two different commercial producers near Boulder CO some years ago (70s) when I was in the vicinity; but they were a far cry from free-ranging herds. More of a feedlot operation; but I believe "way back then" they were claiming around 800 head between the two places. John |
Subject: RE: BS: Hurray for Koala Semen and the Buffalos! From: GUEST,Master Bates Date: 01 Nov 06 - 04:36 AM Hey Man.... I used to be drummer with Koala and the Buffs. Remember the time we was on our way to Woodstock, but we pulled off in a field of cows and got stoned. Think it was stones they was throwin'... Smelt like Bullshirt to me. |
Subject: RE: BS: Hurray for Koala Semen and the Buffalos! From: John O'L Date: 01 Nov 06 - 05:22 AM That's what you get for pulling off in a field. |
Subject: RE: BS: Hurray for Koala Semen and the Buffalos! From: GUEST,Basil Brush Date: 01 Nov 06 - 02:58 PM BOOM BOOM!!!!!!! |