Good thoughts for a good friend please- RIP 6 Oct

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: billybob
Date: 15 May 09 - 09:41 AM

healing thoughts and love to you both from England

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Neil D
Date: 16 May 09 - 05:31 PM

"Jack",
   I have just this very day completed my sixth, week long round of chemo since November. It wasn't easy but it was do-able and crucial. Keeping a positive attitude is extremely important and I couldn't have done it without the support of my wonderful wife, my family and good, true friends , including many here on Mudcat. So, all blessings to you Jack, for being there for your friend throughout this ordeal. You may not realize how importany you are so keep up the good work. A good friend of mine reminded me of a line from a Randy Travis song when my own hair fell out..." Honey I don't care, I ain't in love with your hair, and if it all fell out, I'd love you anyways", when I was wondering how my wife would feel about it. I continue to send my best wishes for a complete recovery.

                                    Neil Devore

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Janie
Date: 16 May 09 - 05:33 PM

Thinking of you Neil. Saw on another thread that you are just home from your last round of chemo. Hope you are recovering from the effects and that you end up with good results.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Janie
Date: 16 May 09 - 05:37 PM

Sorry Neil. We posted so close together that I did not see your post before I posted.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: jacqui.c
Date: 16 May 09 - 05:41 PM

Jack - I have something I would like to send to your friend. If you feel able you can email me here.

mehouseconcertataol.com

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Janie
Date: 16 May 09 - 05:42 PM

Sheesh. I also pulled up the wrong thread - wrong in terms of being the thread regarding Neil, but let me also say that your partner and and you, Jack, continue to be in my thoughts. I hope she is recovering well from surgery and that her prognosis is positive.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: GUEST,Jack Sprocket
Date: 16 May 09 - 07:11 PM

Love to you all, and especially Neil.I'll see her again tomorrow, and sadly, Janie, she's not my partner, life wasn't that kind to me or cruel to her.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: SINSULL
Date: 16 May 09 - 08:39 PM

Jack,
This has been a day of welcome good news. Congratulations to you and yours.
Mary

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Charley Noble
Date: 17 May 09 - 02:25 PM

Best of luck.

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: gnu
Date: 17 May 09 - 02:58 PM

Good to hear. "...life wasn't that kind to me or cruel to her." Good to hear a sense of humour, too.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: GUEST,Jack Sprocket
Date: 17 May 09 - 04:30 PM

Saw her again today, smiley, laughing and complaining about itchy stitches and bad hospital food. Good. She let drop that one of the reasons the op was brought forward was a raised level of tumour markers in the pre-op blood test. Bad. Lets hope they get the chemo mix right.

Our solicitor mate and I rewrote her will and made her sign it before she went in- we didn't ike doing that- but the original one would have caused problems for her children if things went wrong. I went to her house and put it away- hopefully not needed for a good while.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 17 May 09 - 08:28 PM

is there any country that has good hospital food? Apart from rich folk's food, I hasten to add.

About all I remember from my first hospital trip when I was 12 years old, was getting the wrong food - if I ordered cornflakes & a boiled egg I got rice bubbles & scrambled egg!

Preparations for my second trip way back in January (it seems a lifetime away!)included taking food with me.

I was just looking at one of my menu sheets (I took a few home as souvenirs) & wrote on one yesterday.

Spinach quiche, peas & carrots, fresh fruit, apple juice - looks ok, but reality was 2" square of quiche, soup spoon full of each vegetable, served on normal dinner plate! No wonder the whole ward senna pods, they were trying to starve us! Well, the bean counters were, the kitchen & medical staff were wonderful.

Make sure the patient is fed lots of real food, including lotsa' veggies, when she gets home so she can Get Well Soon. And gets lotsa' pampering & rest.

When I woke in hospital my ginormous scar (about 12" across the right side of my groin) was padded with what looked like 2 disposable babies nappies (diapers for those on the other side of the big pond) & I was more comfortable when the scar was dressed with a smaller dressing. I didn't have any problem with stitches until weeks later when my surgeon put in a drain (roll of plastic stuff poked into a new little hole in the scar & fastened with a nasty big bit of black thread) which stayed there, both getting in the way & annoying me for a week.

sandra (totally healthy!)

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: katlaughing
Date: 17 May 09 - 08:54 PM

We have a small osteopathic hospital here which serves excellent food with a really full menu to choose from, within reason, i.e. dietary restraints. Their baked salmon is so good I've gone there as a guest just to order it! Our other, bigger hospital serves pretty decent food, too.

Jack, good for you folks for making sure her will was up to date. As I said before, I am visualising you coming here to tell us she is c-free a year from now, two years from now, etc...this or something better for the highest good of all concerned.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Janie
Date: 17 May 09 - 08:57 PM

Jack, you prompted me to go on-line and finish my will this afternoon - something I have been putting off for way too long.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: GUEST,Jack Sprocket
Date: 23 May 09 - 10:23 AM

Since B. came out of hospital, she's been staying with her ex- husband's sister, who lives close to the hospital. I'm going over now to pick her up and bring her home. She's suffered quite badly with nausea and diarrhoea, perhaps she picked up a bug in her weakened state, perhaps it's the cancer. If the latter, roll on the chemo which starts in 3 weeks. Her daughter is home from university today, and her son has biked over (30 hilly miles, he's a hero), so she'll be well looked after.

Love to you all.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 23 May 09 - 10:45 AM

thanks for the report & more good wished heading your way

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Neil D
Date: 23 May 09 - 10:51 PM

Best of luck with the chemo. It can be rough but for me it was well worth it. I'm fervently hoping it works as well for B. as it did for me. There are good anti-nausea meds available for chemo patients. Keep them handy and take them at the first inkling of nausea.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Janie
Date: 23 May 09 - 11:24 PM

Just letting you know I'm still checking in and sending good thoughts.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: katlaughing
Date: 24 May 09 - 12:27 AM

Me, too. Thanks for keeping us posted.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: GUEST,Jack Sprocket
Date: 07 Jun 09 - 03:49 PM

Update. She's not doing well. After a promising start, the diarrhoea and vomiting returned, along with bowel pains. She's close to losing hope and the will to live, and very depressed, and convinced that it's secondary bowel tumours. She's seen her GP, who diagnosed a bad dose of irritable bowel- apparently it's quite common for hysterectomy post- op. She doesn't believe him.

She has a CAT scan on Wednesday; that should prove her right or (!!!!!!!) wrong. You can't argue with the evidence.

I love her more than ever. I'll love her till I die whatever happens.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Dorothy Parshall
Date: 07 Jun 09 - 07:07 PM

My heart is weeping with you. Love, it seems, is not always rewarded, but to love someone that much is its own reward. It is certainly the most magnificent gift we can give another person, and our self. Hang in, naught else you can do!

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: jacqui.c
Date: 07 Jun 09 - 07:15 PM

You know that the good thoughts are still with both of you. If love could work miracles.....

But, at least, she doesn't have to go through this alone.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Sorcha
Date: 07 Jun 09 - 07:21 PM

Yes, I'm so very sorry.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: katlaughing
Date: 07 Jun 09 - 07:27 PM

Take a deep breath and encourage her to do so, if possible. I hope you have good support for yourself, too. Good thoughts and thanks givings for ease and comfort continue.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 08 Jun 09 - 09:53 AM

hugs to you both

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: gnu
Date: 08 Jun 09 - 12:17 PM

Thoughts and prayers.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: GUEST,Neil D
Date: 08 Jun 09 - 12:52 PM

I'm near tears myself, but try to get her to keep fighting. And keep yourself strong. Get your rest and eat right and get some down time whenever you can. You want to be there for the long haul and you'll be no help to her if you wear yourself out. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for that CAT scan.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: jeffp
Date: 08 Jun 09 - 02:02 PM

What Neil said. I've taken care of two wives through years of cancer treatments and I can tell you you have to take care of yourself as well. You can't give if you have nothing left. You can't avoid junky food entirely if you're spending a lot of time at the hospital, but try to get some balanced meals as well. Hang in there and I'm hoping for the best for the both of you.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 08 Jun 09 - 02:34 PM

My thoughts are with you both. Hoping she is wrong and the GP is right. IBS is absolutely gut wrenching horrible thing to deal with on top of everything else. Quite understandable to have it after such invasive surgery. All her insides must have been pushed around and bruised.

Please do take care of yourself, get rest and eat right.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 08 Jun 09 - 08:38 PM

jeffp wrote - You can't avoid junky food entirely if you're spending a lot of time at the hospital, but try to get some balanced meals as well

If you have time beforehand, you could try to take your own food to the hospital - even if it's just a sandwich & fruit or yoghurt or a flask of soup.

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Janie
Date: 08 Jun 09 - 08:46 PM

Light. Light. And more Light.

Janie

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: GUEST,Jack Sprocket.
Date: 11 Jun 09 - 06:02 PM

CAT results. Not good, but perhaps not hopeless.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Pistachio
Date: 11 Jun 09 - 06:47 PM

Just read this through, hope that a few more good wishes will help.

One of my friends has just had a third tumour removed ... long story ...and I've been warned she's got more pipelines than a refinery in and out of her... you and your lovely friend are not alone in your suffering , and you ARE suffering, but this brilliant Mudcat world is with you. ((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))))) to be delivered when you can!
Look after YOU! I've told my friends husband he needs to do the same.
Very best wishes
Hazel.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Dorothy Parshall
Date: 11 Jun 09 - 06:51 PM

Care for yourself so you have the energy to give her. Hold her hand; she will gain strength directly from yours. Talk with her; listen to her; listen to what she does not say.

Prepare yourself to give her permission to leave - if it comes to that. That is a gift we must have the strength to give, wholly. Perhaps the greatest, most important, and most difficult of gifts.

Holding you and your friend in the Light.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Neil D
Date: 11 Jun 09 - 07:29 PM

So sorry to hear the results were not good. Perhaps chemo or radiation can help. Holding you in our thoughts.

                                        Neil and Christina

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Janie
Date: 11 Jun 09 - 08:52 PM

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 12 Jun 09 - 11:00 AM

more good wishes heading your way

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: GUEST,Jack Sprocket
Date: 12 Jun 09 - 02:07 PM

Sorry about the terse post. There's apparently a bowel problem, don't know if it's a tumour or something else.

Dorothy: all I want to do is hold her, but as I've explained earlier I can't even do that. But yes; the only point of loving her is her wellbeing- and it could come to the point where she can't see any prospect of a life she could support. I'll try to be ready for that if it comes to it.

Love to you all.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: jacqui.c
Date: 12 Jun 09 - 03:02 PM

Love to you Jack, and your lady.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: GUEST,Jack Sprocket
Date: 12 Jun 09 - 04:49 PM

She's having another operation tomorrow (Saturday) to remove the problematic section of bowel. I doubt if she'll be up to visitors till Sunday. I'll update then.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Joybell
Date: 12 Jun 09 - 07:12 PM

My thoughts too, Jack. Good thoughts in this special place.
Joy

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Andy Jackson
Date: 13 Jun 09 - 01:22 PM

"Jack"
I've just stumbled on this thread and read every message. Along with everyone else my heart goes out to you both. We were lucky, my partner was diagnosed early almost by accident and is now almost clear. I know how frightening this must be.
You sound like a good and true friend, she is lucky to have you.

My very best wishes to you both,

Andy

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Eye Lander
Date: 13 Jun 09 - 06:17 PM

Jack, I am Miskin Man's partner,and he alerted me to your thread.    As Andy said I was one of the lucky ones.

My thoughts and prayers are with you both, I shall follow this thread now.

Jillie x

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Neil D
Date: 13 Jun 09 - 11:04 PM

Hoping all goes well with the surgery. Stay strong, keeping you in our prayers.

                                     Neil and Christina

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: GUEST,Jack Sprocket
Date: 14 Jun 09 - 11:38 AM

Bowel severely affected by tumours. Much removed, still small tumorous parts remain which will be treated by chemotherapy hopefully.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Dorothy Parshall
Date: 14 Jun 09 - 11:58 AM

Jack: my heart is with you. It is quite possible to hold someone's hand in absentia. Mine is open for you.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: gnu
Date: 14 Jun 09 - 01:10 PM

Continued thoughts and prayers.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: jacqui.c
Date: 14 Jun 09 - 03:01 PM

Good thoughts still coming Jack.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Neil D
Date: 14 Jun 09 - 03:37 PM

Lots of hugs coming your way. Nothing we can say will be of much help right now. Try to be there for her as much as you can, it will help. We are here as much as we can be. Wish there was more that we could do. Please let your friend know we are praying for her too. This has been such a difficult time for you both, everything changing so fast, you don't have time to process one diemma when a new on dropped in your lap. I call it the "snow globe" effect, like when someone shakes it up ,and then snow starts to settle, then someone just comes along and shakes it up again. Hoping your "snow" settles soon. You both need a break.

                                          Christina

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 14 Jun 09 - 07:02 PM

good thoughts & hugs still coming from me, too

sandra