 sj |
||
|
||
Go gently
|
|
|
Subject: Go gently From: Penny S. Date: 20 May 99 - 04:32 PM A week ago, someone posted Dylan Thomas's poem, "Do not go gentle", and I found this bursting out from a year of loss. It was a year since we scattered my mother's ashes. It would not have been appropriate to send this then. Today is the second of her birthdays when she is not with us. I have a major argument with Dylan's verse. I used to hear that poem, and think it powerful, and something to be admired and emulated. Not any more. The nurses in the hospital thought it wrong, too. They had seen too many fighters raging against the dying of the light to wish them not to go gently. I felt then that if anyone were to mention that poem to me again, I would do something less than pacifist to them. This is what came instead.
To me, who saw my mother dying, Dylan was wrong. Penny |
|
Subject: RE: Go gently From: MMario Date: 20 May 99 - 04:37 PM "For every thing there is a season...." A time to fight to live, a time to go gently. I too have watched loved ones linger when there was no possible hope; and in those times, have prayed for their release. MMario |
|
Subject: RE: Go gently From: Allan C. Date: 20 May 99 - 04:58 PM I spent a number of years working in hospitals and too often witnessed the very thing of which wrote so beautifully. I couldn't agree more! The saddest thing is when the human spirit to live outlasts the body's ability to accommodate it. The most difficult time is the seemingly everlasting days, hours, and minutes before the moment when the spirit finally yields and allows the body to finish its task. |
|
Subject: RE: Go gently From: Penny S. Date: 20 May 99 - 05:12 PM Thank you both. I wasn't sure whether now was right, either, but you have helped. |
|
Subject: RE: Go gently From: AllisonA(Animaterra) Date: 20 May 99 - 06:20 PM Oh, Penny, thank you - my mother is still heartily with us but we are all aware that the years are more and more precious. she has made it clear through durable power of attorney that when her good night comes, let her go. I hope I have the courage and compassion- I think I will, but I dread the day. Thanks again. Allison |
|
Subject: RE: Go gently From: Don Meixner Date: 20 May 99 - 06:37 PM In the four years since my father passed away I have thoght often of his final months. I can still see the once tall and powerfull man gone gaunt and loose in his clothes. His skin was translucent almost but his eyes were filled with wit and humor and untold jokes. It was as if he lingered for me to see his pain and that I'd be more at ease with his final passing and not have to suffer the shock of sudden loss. The night before Dad died I was working in the Jewelry Shop and Dad had gotten up and shaved and dressed and sat in his chair to read the paper. He looked "in his place" and at last comfortable. That is how I have my last memory of my Dad. The next night when the family gathered we talked and some of us cried. Toasts were made and photo albums retrieved. We fired a signal cannon at 10:00 PM and all the neighbors came to the house to visit. I am close to my Dad in the silver shop when I am working late at night. I can hear the soft footfall and feel the breath on my neck and at times I feel the master's hand on my own. I miss him. Don |
|
Subject: RE: Go gently From: katlaughing Date: 20 May 99 - 06:56 PM The tears are flowing freely At the memories flooding my emotions Remebering my mother, translucent, too Christmas saying she just wanted a new body By mid-January gone, when we were all of us away She never liked to see her children sad Many times since, I pick up the phone to tell Mom Slowly cradle it on the hook, wondering who else, but Knowing there's only one Mom, shairng with others not the same
Pussywillows a part of our spring ritual, a token of our esteem for her and the promise they bring Thank you, Penny, Don, and everyone else. PennyS, I will get a message out to you. I've not forgotten. I am sorry it's taken so long. You did a beautiful and eloquent job. Love, katlaughing, feeling like half an orphan |
|
Subject: RE: Go gently From: Susanne (skw) Date: 20 May 99 - 07:29 PM Does not everybody have the right to see things her (or his) way? Maybe Thomas tried to set a poetic vision against the reality he had seen, and thus was able to live with it. Others have other ways of coping. While my grandmother was dying in her 86th year, she lay unconscious, breathing heavily and unevenly, and I was sitting next to her, suffering from her suffering, and trying to find the courage to take a pillow and end it all. Of course I didn't, for, alongside the legitimate wish not to see our loved ones suffer, we have, I believe, an ingrained respect for life even in extremes (or most of us have ...). There was a nurse there who believed that the dying, in their last unconscious days, re-lived their lives, and she said to me when my grandmother was dead: "She must have had a good life. She was very quiet those last few days. Not like some I've seen." I loved her for that, and think it's a comforting belief - even for an unbeliever like me. - Susanne |
|
Subject: RE: Go gently From: Lonesome EJ Date: 20 May 99 - 11:06 PM Thanks for the poem, Penny. That must have been terribly hard for you. I do not think that death must always come as an enemy to life, as Dylan indicates. Often death is the completion, and comes as a kind of balm to the suffering body. We who are steeped in the now of this life tend to view death short-sightedly, we witness the sadness and ceremony of what comes after and we abhor it. But the people who have been close to me and now are gone from this world are still a big part of my life, and I do believe that their spirits go on. LEJ |
|
Subject: RE: Go gently From: Ferrara Date: 21 May 99 - 07:35 AM Penny, thank you so much for sharing that poignant, beautiful poem. - Rita Ferrara |
|
Subject: RE: Go gently From: The_one_and_only_Dai Date: 21 May 99 - 08:15 AM For you, Penny. Dylan Thomas had many sides: I've always thought of the following as the partner to Do not go gentle... The force that through the green fuse drives the flower Drives my green age; that blasts the roots of trees Is my destroyer. And I am dumb to tell the crooked rose My youth is bent by the same wintry fever.
The force that drives the water through the rocks
The hand that whirls the water in the pool
The lips of time leech to the fountain head;
And I am dumb to tell the lover's tomb |
|
Subject: RE: Go gently From: Jeri Date: 21 May 99 - 09:41 AM I look at a photograph and remember As time passes, nothing is repeated Yet all is recorded Held sacred and cherished by the heart Or high and free by the wind The wings of time beat soft and muffled around me And everyone I've ever loved is with me now
My mom was in the hospital for about a month before she died from conjestive heart failure. She would have had to go to a nursing home after living independently all her years. She couldn't take that, and more than once joked about finding Dr Kevorkian. After she had stabilized and was about to be released, she died in her sleep. I'm not 100% sure someone didn't help her do that. The will to live is a powerful force. Too often, others try to give it to people they love. You can't do that, and if you try, you'll end up feeling guilty because you think you should have done more. Only now, with time, am I remembering what my mother was like before she became trapped in that transluscent shell. And thank you Penny, because now I'm remembering pussy willows, and Christmases, and joy.
|
|
Subject: RE: Go gently From: Penny S. Date: 21 May 99 - 12:14 PM Thanks all - I'm coming back later after thought. Penny |
|
Subject: RE: Go gently From: Penny S. Date: 21 May 99 - 04:18 PM I thought I would be able to write more fully in thanks, and respond properly and individually. I have written out various answers, but apart from saying that my walk to the bookshop tomorrow will be to buy a copy of Dylan Thomas' poetry (which I did intend before I read Dai's contribution, but he has made it certain), I said everything I needed to say in the verses. I do so much appreciate all those responses, and those shared memories. Penny |
| Share Thread: |
