Lyr Add: Jungle Cup Final (Richard Digance)

Subject: Lyr Add: THE JUNGLE CUP FINAL (Richard Digance)
From: allanwill
Date: 22 Jun 02 - 12:30 PM

The following is a little recitation, complete with audience participation, that I think is quite relevant given the high profile soccer has at the moment.

It's from a British radio programme from back in the '70s and unfortunately, I cannot for the life of me think of the name of the performer. It's on the tip of my tongue but it just won't take that final step and verbalize itself - perhaps one of our pommy brethren will remember it and let us know. (I think he used to share compering duties with Richard Digance).

THE JUNGLE CUP FINAL

On Saturday, weather permitting of course,
the Jungle Cup final takes place.
The Giraffes (audience - Hooray!) play Gorilla Athletics (Boo!)
A rough bunch and a hard team to face

The Gorillas know nothing of tactics or play -
they grab hold of the ball and they run.
They've played 28 games since the season began
and so far they haven't lost one.

Giraffes on the other hand - they count on their skills:
A sort of a long-necked Brazil.
They're sticking their necks out and saying they'll win,
but few think they actually will.

For their road to the final was merely a stroll.
In the first round, they knocked out the Snails,
with a second-round bye against Scorpion Town
who kept bursting the ball with their tails.

Gorillas, too, had a far from hard run,
beating the Ants first of all.
It took ten thousand ants to cover mid-field
and a million to pick up the ball.

So that's how they made the Grand Final today;
there's 10 minutes gone with no score.
A gorilla's already been sent off for chewing
and by full-time, there could be some more.

Giraffes are attacking (h'ray!), it's 2 against 2
and Greg, their best player, is through.
Gorillas move in and break all his legs (BOOOOO!)
and the number sent off moves to two.

(getting exciting, isn't it!)

"Penalty!", yells the capacity crowd
and Giraffes get a goal from the spot (H'RAY) Another Gorilla goes off for dissent,
he swore black and blue it was not!

Come half-time, Gorillas are down to 8 men,
and not looking terribly pleased.
The Giraffes suck on lemons and rub down their necks,
while Gorillas chew up a few trees.

The Ref. blows his whistle, the second half starts,
and Giraffes get a goal from the start.(h'ray)
Two goals down and three lads sent off -
Gorillas begin to lose heart.

"Easy, easy" the spectators cry
as Johnny Giraffe gets a goal.
A Gorilla swears that Giraffes were offside
and swallows the referee - whole (H'RAAAAAY).

The Elephant riot squad run on to the pitch
to hold back the menacing crowd,
who were somewhat dismayed by Gorillas approach,
for eating the Ref's not allowed.

(ok - last verse. ((lone voice from audience "h'ray"))).

The game was abandoned, Giraffes won the Cup,
much to Gorillas dismay.
And on the way home, it was agreed that Giraffes were,
as Brian Moore always (used to) says
the far better team
ON THE DAY.

Allan

Subject: RE: BS: An alternate soccer world cup
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 22 Jun 02 - 06:18 PM

Not Les Barker is it?

Subject: RE: BS: An alternate soccer world cup
From: allanwill
Date: 22 Jun 02 - 06:35 PM

Nah.

Derek someone??

Allan

Subject: RE: BS: An alternate soccer world cup
From: Paul from Hull
Date: 22 Jun 02 - 06:37 PM

I thought it was BY Richard Digance himself... I could be wrong of course - I'm a lot less sure that it was him then you are, Alinact, about it being someone else.

Subject: RE: BS: An alternate soccer world cup
From: Paul from Hull
Date: 22 Jun 02 - 06:46 PM

Brimstone?

Subject: RE: BS: An alternate soccer world cup
From: allanwill
Date: 22 Jun 02 - 07:01 PM

Paul

Derek Brimstone keeps coming to my mind but somehow I just don't think it was him.

I'm going home shortly - I WILL find who it was.

Allan

Subject: RE: BS: An alternate soccer world cup
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 22 Jun 02 - 07:55 PM

Richard Stilgoe?

Subject: RE: BS: An alternate soccer world cup
From: Hrothgar
Date: 23 Jun 02 - 12:15 AM

If Derek Brimstone keeps coming to your mind, should you take more tablets?

Subject: RE: BS: An alternate soccer world cup
From: alanabit
Date: 23 Jun 02 - 06:01 AM

It was Richard Digance. I heard him do it at the Cap and Gown Folk Club in Reading back in '78 or '79.

Subject: RE: BS: An alternate soccer world cup
From: allanwill
Date: 23 Jun 02 - 10:25 AM

Yes, apologies, it WAS Richard Digance.

Allan

Subject: RE: BS: An alternate soccer world cup
From: Bullfrog Jones
Date: 23 Jun 02 - 12:05 PM

Yes it was Digance. Another football related song he did was "Earl's A Winger". (You can guess the tune!)

BJ

Subject: RE: BS: An alternate soccer world cup
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 24 Jun 02 - 02:39 AM

Digance's aunty(?) used to live in one of the tower blocks that over looks West Ham at Upton Park, so he'd go visit her everytime they were at home and watch grandstand from her window! Alas, the new stands means he could no longer do this, butI understand he is still a keen supporter.

I on the other hand, am not.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: An alternate soccer world cup
From: alanabit
Date: 24 Jun 02 - 03:07 PM

Talking of Richard's West Ham obsession, there is a lovely line in his old song "Working Class Millionaire" about how he is going to erect a statue of Bobby Moore in the hall. I always liked that one as a bit of character sketching.

Subject: RE: BS: An alternate soccer world cup
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 25 Jun 02 - 01:15 AM

He'll be interested in the statue they're going to erect at the main junction just down from the ground, on the site of an old public underground toilet then....

LTS