BS: New & improved self-defense method!

Subject: BS: New & improved self-defense method!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Mar 03 - 11:27 PM

We pause for a brief commercial on the New and Improved means of self-defense for you and your family from EVIL people. It's called Lapp-Goch! Yes, Lapp-Goch!!! (Okay, so it's not entirely new, but it IS improved by virtue of superior weaponry, like Smart Bombs).

The basic principle is this: Decide for yourself who is really, really evil in your neighborhood, arm yourself to the teeth with superior firepower, and go kill 'em all before they have a chance to do anything evil to you first!!! Gotcha! Soon all the evil people in your neighborhood will be dead, and everything will be wonderful for the good people. Peace will prevail. This announcement has been brought to you by the White House. Go git 'em!!!

Life in Aymerica...love it or lose it!

That's it. Feel free to return to your normal state of credulity and compliance.

p.s. Lapp-Goch is not presently deemed acceptable in Canada or at the U.N., but they'll no doubt come around in time, specially if we cut their financial feet out from under 'em. They'll learn!

Subject: RE: BS: New & improved self-defense method!
From: Sorcha
Date: 17 Mar 03 - 11:32 PM

Lorcan, we just gotta luv you! You want a Chocolate Club t shirt?

Subject: RE: BS: New & improved self-defense method!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Mar 03 - 12:01 AM

Sorcha - Well, that is sweet of you to say so, but I am not Lorcan, I am Little Hawk. Still, I will accept your generous offer of the T-shirt.

By the way, here's a neat quote from our blessed Leader, G.W.:

He says that war will commence "at the time of our choosing".

Well, yeah, fer sure. Naturally. That's the great thing about aggression you see, the aggressor gets to choose exactly when to launch the first attack and where. This makes it plain stupid not to commit aggression against evil people, cos if you don't then they might get to commit aggression against you some day, and that would be very, very bad. So YOU choose when the fighting starts. I mean, hey, the Germans got to choose when to attack Poland, didn't they?

Put it this way...you're in a bar with someone you don't like and he doesn't like you. You've had words before with this guy, and he's not nice. Matter of fact, he's not even American. He deserves a good punch in the eye. So whaddya do? Do ya say, "Go ahead, jerk, take the first punch." Hell no! You nail that sucker at a time of your own choosing, and preferably when he's not looking, if possible. If you're twice his weight and have brass nuckles and a taser, so much the better. He'll think twice before he messes with you again, providing he even lives. Shock and awe the bastards by hitting them with everything ya got, and do it according to YOUR timetable, cos you are GOOD and they are EVIL, and don't forget it!

There are only two kinds of people in this World, kids, Good people and EEEEVIL people, and the Evil ones deserve no mercy whatsoever from the Good. If you can't figure out who the Evil ones are (they can be tricky...), you just ask the President. He is in charge of the armed forces and of all that is Good and True, and he will tell you exactly who they are.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: New & improved self-defense method!
From: leprechaun
Date: 18 Mar 03 - 04:05 AM

And I take it from your sarcastic tone you have a problem with that?

Subject: RE: BS: New & improved self-defense method!
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Mar 03 - 04:20 AM

But you forgot the clever bit. Get them to get rid of their weapons first, but not all of them (you need some excuse).

Subject: RE: BS: New & improved self-defense method!
From: alanabit
Date: 18 Mar 03 - 09:02 AM

Little Hawk - did you read about Llap Goch in the Monty Python Brand New Papperbok some thirty years ago like I did?

Subject: RE: BS: New & improved self-defense method!
From: Sorcha
Date: 18 Mar 03 - 10:42 AM

Sorry, LH, got confoozeled there for a bit!

Subject: RE: BS: New & improved self-defense method!
From: Forum Lurker
Date: 18 Mar 03 - 10:48 AM

Leprechaun-I infer from your post that you actually believe that what Little Hawk described is alright. Do you not see any problem with such vigilantism? The responsibility and authority to determine which persons are threats should not rest on any random citizen witha gun, and the responsibility to determine which nations are threats should not rest on any random country with nukes and an army.

Subject: RE: BS: New & improved self-defense method!
From: Amos
Date: 18 Mar 03 - 11:29 AM

And people should not be tortured and raped by their governments, nor should innocents be blown to smithereens while doing paperwork. You guys are being disingenuous in the extreme. I concur with you that Mr Bush is being high-handed, arrogant, and offensive as hell. But I submit that you are seriously over-simplifying the complex of forces in play that are driving this petty vaudeville show.

A

Subject: RE: BS: New & improved self-defense method!
From: Forum Lurker
Date: 18 Mar 03 - 01:06 PM

Bush is too, Amos. The difference is, we realize the world is more complex than allegories.

Subject: RE: BS: New & improved self-defense method!
From: Dead Horse
Date: 18 Mar 03 - 01:56 PM

The French have their very own self defence system, involving burying their heads in their own back garden until the danger has gone away.
This enables their enemies to go about their business, but does have an unfortunate flaw - it leaves their asses exposed to a good kicking by their other neighbours.

Subject: RE: BS: New & improved self-defense method!
From: Forum Lurker
Date: 18 Mar 03 - 02:26 PM

Dead Horse-While the French military tactics may not have been up to date since Napoleon, they at least tried their best in the World Wars. Iraq doesn't threaten them, and they know it perfectly well.

Subject: RE: BS: New & improved self-defense method!
From: Bill D
Date: 18 Mar 03 - 03:24 PM

We all know that there is more to G.W.s crusade than mere tactical decisions about pre-emptive strikes against a bad guy.At least when Hitler was strutting about, you KNEW that everyone was in danger.

*sigh*...it is often worse when you are doing the right thing for the wrong reasons...and at the wrong time and using the wrong methods.

Subject: RE: BS: New & improved self-defense method!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Mar 03 - 09:58 PM

The Hitler comparison is very apt, Bill. The difference is that this time everyone except 2/3 of the American public KNOWS that everyone is in danger...and not from Iraq! The French have correctly deduced that, and are acting accordingly in a totally sensible and courageous manner, and are NOT appeasing aggression by sanctioning it at the Security Council.

About the only people who are appeasing it (and preparing to commit it) are Blair (but not his people), the Spanish government (but not their people), and the Australian government (but not their people). Oh, and there's the Poles too, and umm...a couple of other small Eastern European countries who have no doubt been promised a rich bribe for so doing.

Wow! What an alliance. Hitler actually did a bit better than this at winning friends and allies, back in '39.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: New & improved self-defense method!
From: Bobert
Date: 18 Mar 03 - 10:23 PM

So, ahhh, what are you saying about Junior, LH? Ahhh, that all those C's he earned in college were well earned? Hey, they used to call them "Gentlemen's C's".

But really, where does it stop? It doesn't! This isn't really even about "pre-emptive" but "preventional", much like getting a vaccine. Pre-emptive is more like making an obvious offense stand in the face of emminent danger. Prevention is more like a generalized defense against a vague possibility of danger. Hmmmmmm?

Who's next? And then who's next? And then who's next? And then....

Yeah, this is some purdy danged stupid foriegn policy...

And folks accuse me of being paranoid?

Bobert