BS: Tom DeLay to Quit House...

Subject: BS: Tom DeLay to Quit House...
From: Bobert
Date: 04 Apr 06 - 08:10 PM

Well, by now everyone has heard that Tom DeLay says he will not be a candidate for re=election to the House of Reps... Right??? No, you hadn't heard??? Well, no bull, he's hangin' 'um up, cowpokes...

Now, needless to say, I have my own feeelings about a House of Reps without DeLay but how do other feel about it????

Subject: RE: BS: Tom DeLay to Quit House...
From: Ebbie
Date: 04 Apr 06 - 08:17 PM

Let's let him go without delay.

Subject: RE: BS: Tom DeLay to Quit House...
From: GUEST,Nancy King at work
Date: 04 Apr 06 - 08:26 PM

And do check out Barry Finn's contribution in this thread.

Gave me a good chuckle...

Nancy

Subject: RE: BS: Tom DeLay to Quit House...
From: CarolC
Date: 04 Apr 06 - 08:36 PM

He's not gone... just transformed. He's free to become a lobbyist now.

Subject: RE: BS: Tom DeLay to Quit House...
From: GUEST,Wesley S
Date: 04 Apr 06 - 09:05 PM

Or a Fox News analist. Er, commentator.

Subject: RE: BS: Tom DeLay to Quit House...
From: Ebbie
Date: 04 Apr 06 - 09:24 PM

Yeh. It beats me how people who resigned in disgrace then somehow morph into statesmen one should listen to. He'll probably show up at Columbia lecturing on ethics.

Subject: RE: BS: Tom DeLay to Quit House...
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 Apr 06 - 11:07 PM

He's moving his sorry ass out of Texas to Northern Virginia..

Yesss!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Tom DeLay to Quit House...
From: Barry Finn
Date: 05 Apr 06 - 03:10 AM

May the shit roll uphill. Right up to his new front door.
Barry

Subject: RE: BS: Tom DeLay to Quit House...
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 05 Apr 06 - 05:13 AM

He seemed quite honest in the fragment of his statement that I heard.

He's leaving politics to go do what he does best:

Raise MONEY for other politicians (possibly with a little leakage into his own pockets?).

With enough MONEY, he'll have even more influence, as a "political benefactor" than he ever had as a politician, and lots fewer "limitations" on what he can do to raise the MONEY. He may still need to be a little careful that only a few people know how it gets passed on.

Or maybe, cynic that I am, I misunderstood.

John

Subject: RE: BS: Tom DeLay to Quit House...
From: Barry Finn
Date: 05 Apr 06 - 01:00 PM

No John, you're not a cynic. Hopefully he'll be trying to raise money from ajoining cells with his fellow companions. Donors tend to distance themselves from convicts in the same line of business. It takes them time, a long time before they can become approchable again.
Barry

Subject: RE: BS: Tom DeLay to Quit House...
From: Bill D
Date: 05 Apr 06 - 02:25 PM

He and Newt Gingrich and 'Duke' Cunningham and Evan Meachem can go form a lobbying group...maybe Kline from Minnesota can join then soon.

Subject: RE: BS: Tom DeLay to Quit House...
From: fat B****rd
Date: 05 Apr 06 - 03:14 PM

Just as long as Hugh Laurie and the good looking women are still in it.

Subject: RE: BS: Tom DeLay to Quit House...
From: Donuel
Date: 06 Apr 06 - 11:53 AM

(Chorus)
Hang down yur head Tom Delay
Hang down yur head and smile
Texas just gave you one inch
Then you went and stole a mile

Tom was a terminator
Killin bugs and pests
He wanted to use banned poisons
so he attacked Congress

He chose to be one of em
He ran for the house and won
He found there was big money
and drew lines to have some fun.

(Chorus)

Tom broke all the campaign rules
And swept it under the rug
Now he is no longer leader
He's squashed like a great big bug

I can't be judged by libr'als
I need a jury of my peers
So they gathered crooks and criminals
Amidst the shouts and jeers

(Chorus)

Now Tom has quit the Congress
He blames it on the Dems.
He says others made this big mess
but God did not forsake him.

Hang down yur head Tom Delay
Hang down yur head and smile
Texas just gave you one inch
Then you went and stole a mile.





The chair recognizes Tom Delay
"Mr. Chairman I thank you and the members of this special joint meeting and move that the democratic candidate allegedly named HeySoose Christ is ineligible to run for President". First of all he is not a real person. And if records do indicate he is even alive, he is not a naturalized citizen of the United States."
Point of order Mr. Chairman, my aids have informed me the sun has turned red and is traveling back wards in the sky!."
Over ruled Mr. Schumer. You may continue Mr. Delay.
"thank you Mr. Chairman, I would like to extend three minutes of my time to Mr. Trent Lott and reserve the right to extend and revise my remarks."
So granted.
Thank you Mr. Delay, I for one find it reprehensible that the Democrats would stoop so low as to drag Christianity in the mud like this with an imposter...this is sheer blasphemy and I intend to…
Mr. Chairman Point of Order
Yes Senator Clinton?
It was reported on CNN that it is raining frogs in DC and people are turning into pillars of salt...
Over ruled, please continue Mr. Lott.
"Thanking the chair could I please have time restored because of that interruption?
Yes, add 3 minutes to Mr. Lott's time.
"as I was saying I intend to investigate this homeless person in sandals with uncut hair who allegedly associates with prostitutes and expose him as the fraud he is and prosecute him to the furthest extent of the law."
A voice is heard from the gallery "Judge not lest ye be judged."
Remove that person from the Gallery…

MR CHAIRMAN
Yes Mr. Cheney
There is an unidentified airplane with a Kentucky Governor aboard that has entered Maryland airspace.
I believe we should
EVACUATE THE BUILDING AND RUN FOR YOUR undisclosed locations.

The Chamber is filled with a biminous light and a soothing voice spreads over the chaos...

"Relax, Ignore the fear monger and consider your duty to the nation, your families and the world."

People seem suddenly stilled and look up into the gallery.




............





Eyes of blue
wears cheap shoes
He always knows just what to do
Will everybody vote JC?

Hairs a mess
Wears a dress
Says his daddy is the best
Will anybody vote JC?

You know that some folks
Hate that
he hangs with whores
Some folks say that
He seems to even love the poor.

Heaven sent
And hell bent
He's running for the President
Will anybody vote JC?

He's Democrat
That's a fact
He's got it in for all fat cats
Will everybody vote JC.

You know that some folks
Hate him
Cuz he's a Jew
Our folks love him
He is just like me and you


As President
Every Lent
The rich will give back
All they spent
Will everybody vote JC?

You know that some folks
say that
He's Socialist
I say it sure beats
George Bush and his torture iron fist

Jesus Christ
Men and mice
All think that JC is nice
Will everybody vote JC

Blacks and Jews
Athiests too
Join against the
Falwell crew
Will everybody vote JC?

The reverends On TV
have all
Denounced you
That they hate is
The one thing that we know is true.
Double U
Gets the flu
He turns right into
Soap and glue
Everyone suspects JC

Miracles
Spirituals
And songs that are
Satirical
Will anybody vote JC

The folks that hate
Say that
JC is a fraud
But they vanish
As if by some act of God

He's Democrat
That's a fact
He's got it in for all fat cats
Will everybody vote JC.



songs and script is the property of Don Hakman

Subject: RE: BS: Tom DeLay to Quit House...
From: Bill D
Date: 06 Apr 06 - 12:26 PM

Form a little band, Don, and take that show on the road.....right down Mass. Avenue to the White House. It sure will get you sttention!

Subject: RE: BS: Tom DeLay to Quit House...
From: Donuel
Date: 06 Apr 06 - 07:17 PM

Ever heard of the yes men?