BS: Secrets about Mothers

Subject: BS: Secrets about Mothers
From: Amos
Date: 04 Apr 04 - 12:31 AM

If you want the real truth about Mothers you have to go to the source. And what makes a mothr? Kids. Here's what the real experts say about Mothers:

The following are different answers given by school-age children to the given questions:


Why did God make mothers?


1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.

2. Think about it, it was the best way to get more people.

3. Mostly to clean the house.

4. To help us out of there when we were getting born.


How did God make mothers?


1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.

2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.

3. He made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.


Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?

1. We're related.

2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.


What ingredients are mothers made of?

1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world, and one dab of mean.


2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly
use string. I think.


What kind of little girl was your mom?


1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.

2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.

3. They say she used to be nice.


How did your mom meet your dad?


1. Mom was working in a store and dad was shoplifting.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?

1. His last name.


2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?


1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.

2. She got too old to do anything else with him.

3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.




What makes a real woman?


1. It means you have to be really bossy without looking bossy.


Who's the boss at your house?

1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dads such a goofball.

2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.


What's the difference between moms and dads?


1. Moms work at work and work at home, and dads just got to work at work.

2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power
'cause that's who you gotta ask if you want to sleep over at your
friend's.


What does your mom do in her spare time?


1. Mothers don't do spare time.

2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
   

What's the difference between moms and grandmas?
1. About 30 years.
2. You can always count on grandmothers for candy. Sometimes moms don't even have bread on them!


Describe the world's greatest mom?


1. She would make broccoli taste like ice cream!
2. The greatest mom in the world wouldn't make me kiss my fat aunts!
3. She'd always be smiling and keep her opinions to herself.


Is anything about your mom perfect?

1. Her teeth are perfect, but she bought them from the dentist.
2. Her casserole recipes. But we hate them.
3. Just her children.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?

1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind
of plastic surgery.

2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd dye-it, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?

1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.

2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.

Subject: RE: BS: Secrets about Mothers
From: Peace
Date: 04 Apr 04 - 05:25 PM

Gotta love it.

Subject: RE: BS: Secrets about Mothers
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 05 Apr 04 - 04:42 AM

I plan on sending this to every mom I know...thanks!..xx..e

Subject: RE: BS: Secrets about Mothers
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 05 Apr 04 - 05:33 PM

Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings......

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Secrets about Mothers
From: GUEST,ranger1
Date: 06 Apr 04 - 12:50 AM

I have to say my Mom's perfect, I'm at her house, using her computer and I need a ride back to the airport on Thursday! I read this out loud to her and she thought it was pretty funny. Actually, she's not perfect, but I can't think of anyone else I'd rather have for my Mom. And she's charming-- deckman and Judy said so!

Subject: RE: BS: Secrets about Mothers
From: open mike
Date: 06 Apr 04 - 02:25 AM

Mother's Day is coming up in May...on the 9th...this would be great to send to moms then! I sometimes think this is a holiday invented by the companies that make greeting cards, but for those of you who still have your moms alive--take a moment to appreciate them and tell them so, cuz they won't always be there!

Subject: RE: BS: Secrets about Mothers
From: GUEST,freda
Date: 06 Apr 04 - 03:15 AM

Apart from cleaning, caring and cuddling, mothers provide another very important function. Some say that they are the primary genetic influence on the next generations inteeligence.

Some breakthrough research has suggested that imprinted genes have an
integral role in the inheritance of intelligence. The investigation suggests that the "mother's genes play the dominant role in the development of the parts of her offsprings' brains that are responsible for intelligence. The father's genes, on the other hand, may shape ... the parts of their brains that influence emotional make-up". Although research continues to find out more about the imprinted genes that influence intelligence, one preliminary hypothesis is that the "mother's genes make the biggest contribution to the part of the brain that society values most - the cortex", which is the portion of the brain that is responsible for intellectual skills such as language and the ability to plan ahead.

for more information, see the articles at:

www2.cedarcrest.edu/academic/writing/intelligence/nempage1.htm

Subject: RE: BS: Secrets about Mothers
From: GUEST,freda
Date: 06 Apr 04 - 03:17 AM

oops, they have a mjaor role in helping kids spell too!

Subject: RE: BS: Secrets about Mothers
From: Amos
Date: 06 Apr 04 - 09:08 AM

Then why do people at large simultaneously asseret that (a) women are achieving higher status than ever before and (b) we as a nation or culture are dumbing down dramatically? Are the women letting the side down? Or is it tell?

An intersting parallel question is whether women watch as much television (or more or less) as men amongst those over 18.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Secrets about Mothers
From: freda underhill
Date: 06 Apr 04 - 09:18 AM

today i read that researchers have discovered a link between Attention Deficit Disorder and long hours of TV watching in young children..

women may be achieving in large organisations, good if they are i guess. but I dont see corporate success as evidence of any social advancement.

the dumbing down i attribute to a deterioration in the quality of public education.

fred

Subject: RE: BS: Secrets about Mothers
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 06 Apr 04 - 10:28 AM

Definately the deterioration in public education. Limpit at 8 is being given school books to read that I had at 5 and 6. Her reading age is well above them, yet the school doesn't have enough books that she can go off and read what she wants.

When I attend parents evenings, the standard of the work is quite advanced but remarkably sketchy - knowing a lot about a few things and hardly anything about what comes between. Knowing all about the Romans and the Tudors is fine, but what about the Plantagenets or the Lancastrians and Yorkists who created the state for the Tudors to inherit?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Secrets about Mothers
From: GUEST,noddy
Date: 07 Apr 04 - 10:12 AM

yeah but dont tell Dad

Subject: RE: BS: Secrets about Mothers
From: Amos
Date: 07 Apr 04 - 10:35 AM

Noddy,

What does that mean????

A

Subject: RE: BS: Secrets about Mothers
From: ced2
Date: 07 Apr 04 - 02:35 PM

Oedipus might have made an interesting contibution to this thread!!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Secrets about Mothers
From: GUEST,noddy
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 07:54 AM

sorry Amos still cant tell you either.it is a secret about my mother.

Subject: RE: BS: Secrets about Mothers
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Apr 04 - 07:58 AM

I sincerely doubt those answers came from kids, clever sounding as they are. They just don't ring true and sound a little too Reader's Digest sort of humor to this educator of kids and parent.