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CATSPAW, we beseech thee
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Subject: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Dave Swan Date: 28 Jun 01 - 10:47 AM Oh most flatulent one, appear unto us. Tell us that the chest tubes have not deflated thee, that a mighty BRRRAAAAAPPP is still the clarion call of thy presence. Tell us that the gentle tick, tick, tick, emanating from thy chest has not overcome the sound of the little voices crying out in thy head. Tell us the evil Foley has not drained thee of thy vital piss & vinegar. Drag thine ass to the computer and send us word.
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Amos Date: 28 Jun 01 - 10:51 AM Ah, Swanno, how kind, how intense, how heartfelt a prayer!!! I dunno if Spaw is used to being beseeched, though -- he might have some trouble processing this kind of adulation. Although many have worshiped His Flatulence from afar (for obvious reasons) this is the first time in my memory anyone has actually stepped up to the Altar of Flatus and raised a prayer. I'm not sure anyone remembers what the ensuing ceremony is supposed to look like, and frankly I'm a little scared of finding out! A |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: MMario Date: 28 Jun 01 - 11:01 AM I was always under the impression that the Altar of Flauts was more to be besmirched then beseeched, but I could be wrong. Still - It could be worth a try. However, I think El Swanno may not be using the correct style of beseechment. oh great and flatulant; whose winds fortell thy coming before thy arrival; whose breath gives rise to scatological hymn and the whistle of possums; oh ye of great heart and clicky valve; come to us that we might laugh!
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: mousethief Date: 28 Jun 01 - 11:01 AM Actually "from afar" isn't necessary, as long as you're downwind. Alex |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: mousethief Date: 28 Jun 01 - 11:02 AM I mean upwind. Doh. Alex |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Bill D Date: 28 Jun 01 - 11:07 AM or, if you have a match handy click, then dodge |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: pavane Date: 28 Jun 01 - 11:08 AM I haven't been here long enough to remember, but you are obviously held in high regard, and worshipped from afar (with good reason?) |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Noreen Date: 28 Jun 01 - 11:09 AM I'd rather be upwind myself, if it's all the same to you, Alex. Will be good to see you back, Spaw. The flamingoes are missing you. ♥ Noreen |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Lin in Kansas Date: 28 Jun 01 - 11:16 AM See, Alex--"afar" is always best, just to avoid small confusions like that...(consider the consequences of an error in windage!) El Swanno, Amos, MMario--whether the Altar is to be beseeched or besmirched, I STILL don't wanna think about the ceremony. (Shudder). Welcome, Welcome Home, 'Spaw-- Lin |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: mooman Date: 28 Jun 01 - 11:21 AM Dear 'Spaw, I hadn't fully realised your powers of flatulence before although they have always been legendary: Part of an astronomical definition: nebula: .......any gaseous body of unorganized stellar substance And look what I found named after you! I am truly in awe and humbly await your return O powerful one... mooman |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: mousethief Date: 28 Jun 01 - 11:25 AM Okay, I stand corrected. And afar off. Alex |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Bill D Date: 28 Jun 01 - 11:36 AM ohhh, my! hot gasses light years away!...That vegemite is powerful stuff! |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: SINSULL Date: 28 Jun 01 - 11:37 AM YOU PEOPLE ARE SCARY! Especially the ones who spend their free time searching out Catspaw references on the WEB! Prayers aren't going to work. Just place a large bowl of chili near a computer - "if you build it, he will come!" Miss you, Pat. We're waiting. (And the locals are getting a little out of hand. We may need Paw and the Reg boys to get things under control - the blind leading the blind) |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: mooman Date: 28 Jun 01 - 11:51 AM Sins, You don't think I would do this in my FREE time do you. This is important WORK-related business! mooman |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Pseudolus Date: 28 Jun 01 - 11:53 AM I could be wrong but I think flatulance can only create afar iffn' yer mixin it with matches..... Frank |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: GUEST,JohnB Date: 28 Jun 01 - 12:06 PM "Amos, MMario--whether the Altar is to be beseeched or besmirched" as long as it does not become "bespattered" in the process it's not too bad. JohnB |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Kim C Date: 28 Jun 01 - 12:18 PM I can't say nothin because I am laffin too hard..... |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Áine Date: 28 Jun 01 - 12:48 PM . . . and the clouds parted, and the other Mudcat deity spake thusly . . . Oh Flatus Maximus, thou who art of great fart and heart, hear the cry of your humble servants, who poot only to please thee. Besmear, besmirch, and besplatter us with thy gaseous glutimus, for we art lost in a brown fog without thee to lead us into the halls of Montezuma's Revenge. Pay heed to our beseechment, oh Putus Glorimus, for the universe doth grow exceedingly sweet-smelling without your putrid pronouncements. Rescue your humble worshippers of the Patricus Potamus, and come to us in our most flatulent hour of need. Humbly and most besmearingly yours, TGG (High Priestess of the Patricus Potamus Local 69) |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Little Hawk Date: 28 Jun 01 - 01:00 PM "Ground Control to Major Tom..." - LH |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Jim Krause Date: 28 Jun 01 - 01:17 PM Oh boy, this is too much LMAO. Jim |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: katlaughing Date: 28 Jun 01 - 01:30 PM Ugh! I think you all had better read THIS, over and over, sounds like yer gonna need it! |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: GUEST,Kim C no cookie Date: 28 Jun 01 - 01:34 PM Should we invite Vladimir Putin to the party? |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: catspaw49 Date: 28 Jun 01 - 02:12 PM BBRRRAAAAWWWMMMPP.........ahhh......Tis good to be back!!! Gimmee a little bit to collect a few thoughts and go retrieve my stupid Weimaraner from the Doggie Motel and I'll give you some of the better stories of this past week. Sitting here and again reading these many posts from all of you leaves me more that a bit humbled.........Okay, so it's just a little bit, but that's a lot of progress for a reprobate like myself. Having lived in this cyber village for a long while, I am still amazed and completely in awe of the power we have to care for each other. Karen and I will always be forever in the debt of all of you and this Reamrkable place. When I woke up in post-op, I was thrilled to be alive.......This thrill lasted just to the leeward side of 3 seconds when the pain made me wish I were not! During that next 48 hours, I thought of this place and believe me when I say that I had a very real feeling of "presence"........I knew you were there. And at various times things would strike me like, "Geez, I gotta' remember to tell the 'Catters this." Thank you all from the depths of my well functioning heart for every thought, word, prayer, and song. You provided once again to Karen that rock she now knew would be there and did the same for Wayne and Connie. I am indeed blessed by having them as I am blessed to have so many great friends here. Physically, I have not felt this good in probably ten years or more. The A-fib was not creating the problem at all, but the slow deterioration of the Mitral Valve was. I can breathe better than I have done in years. "It's amazing how having a blood supply fully pressurized and not backwashing can make so much of a difference," said the dumbass Spaw. Already my energy level is easily 5 times greater than what it was and seems to continue to improve by the moment!!! As to the daVinci and Dr. Michler........I am even more amazed than I was before. Even having to replace the valve, only a 2 inch opening was made just under the right breast. What made the pain so bad was tht this is muscle tissue and the drain tube was like having a knife in your side. When the surgical wounds heal, that too will be gone. The difference between this and my previous chest cracking for the by pass is truly significant!!! Michler and his team are truly skilled and you always had the feeling that it was going to work........Fantastic people. So let me run and get my hound and then I have to call Campus Security to see about Paw, Cletus, and the Reg boys.......Hopefully I can get the charges reduced......... Our many thanks.....and it's GREAT to be back!!!!!!! Spaw |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: MMario Date: 28 Jun 01 - 02:23 PM damn - that's good to read. |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: jeffp Date: 28 Jun 01 - 02:26 PM Oh yeah.......life is good. |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Max Date: 28 Jun 01 - 02:30 PM Thank You Spaw. It is truely grand to have you back. Now cut this out will you? This is twice now, it's someone elses turn. |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: GUEST,Dancing Mom Date: 28 Jun 01 - 02:46 PM So glad things are going well. I was reading all this stuff and laughing and fearing for your poor tender incision, which, apparently they did a "window", so you don't have much of one. The muscle soreness, however, is typical of the procedure you had. Hang in there. Sharon |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Dave Swan Date: 28 Jun 01 - 02:49 PM Glad you're back. It was getting to be a pain in the ass keeping the blue flame burining in the window. |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: MMario Date: 28 Jun 01 - 02:54 PM yeah - the bean consumption alone was beginning to be a bit more then most people could stand. |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Kim C Date: 28 Jun 01 - 03:24 PM Hidy! :-) |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Mark Clark Date: 28 Jun 01 - 03:24 PM Great to see you back, Pat. Wishing you a speedy recovery and, as we say in Church, "God grant thee many years." - Mark |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: SINSULL Date: 28 Jun 01 - 03:28 PM Thank goodness. Now things can back to normal! |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: SINSULL Date: 28 Jun 01 - 03:31 PM It just hit me. This time a week ago, I was sleepless worrying about whether Spaw was ever going to be "computer friendly" again. Today he is out getting the dog! Wondrous times. |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: katlaughing Date: 28 Jun 01 - 03:35 PM Ain't it grand, Sins? What an indelible stamp he is at Mudcat and in our hearts! wb, Spawdarlin' luvyakat |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Eric the Viking Date: 28 Jun 01 - 03:39 PM Good stuff, Spaw. Keep the gettinbetter going. Cheers Eric |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Amergin Date: 28 Jun 01 - 03:46 PM Well, I am glad you're back, ya old (and I mean old) fart! just keep your gaseous explosions elsewhere..... |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 28 Jun 01 - 03:52 PM Its REALLY GREAT to see you back Catspaw.john |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: katlaughing Date: 28 Jun 01 - 03:55 PM Spawdarlin, be sure to tell them about your new role as "Mudcat Missionary" that's what Rog said, instead of Second Mudcat Ambassador At Large.:-) Gonna have to replace some seedies as Mortee would say, eh?**BG** |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: mooman Date: 28 Jun 01 - 04:08 PM Welcome back 'Spaw! It's a joy to read you're feeling so much better than before. Best wishes to the whole family too. mooman |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Áine Date: 28 Jun 01 - 04:20 PM HOT DIGGITY DAMN! HE'S BACK . . .!!!!!!!! My dearest darlin' diacretatious deity . . . how good to hear you discharge among us again! Now, about Paw, Cletus, and the Reg boys . . . the money that went missin' from the Neil Young Center Support Fund of Patricus Potamus Local 69 wasn't that much -- about 42 cents, if all be told -- so, as High Priestess, I'll guarantee that the charges will be dropped, if you guarantee that you won't go missin' in action no mo'. Is that a deal, Lucille? Biggest hugs to you and the fam, and biggest snogs on all your relevant body parts, ya buggah -- Áine |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Allan C. Date: 28 Jun 01 - 04:21 PM I couldn't say it before...and I find that I can't really say it now. But if you were standing here before me, you'd have a hard time avoiding a bear hug --well, if the doctors would allow it, anyway. |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Jeri Date: 28 Jun 01 - 04:30 PM Spaw, glad to see you back, but even more glad you're feeling so well. If a not-so-healthy Spaw can wreak the havoc you did around this place...I'm scared. |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: GUEST,JohnB Date: 28 Jun 01 - 04:46 PM You'd better lay of the Viagra with all that new found pressure. Welcome Home, JohnB. |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Morticia Date: 28 Jun 01 - 05:36 PM Yippeeeeeeeee!!!!!!Snogs all round, with the biggest and slobberiest going to my uncle Pat, and one specially set aside for Karen. |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Jock Morris Date: 28 Jun 01 - 05:46 PM Spaw, it is great to have you back. I sure I speak for all the folks here when I say WE MISSED YOU! Scott |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Liz the Squeak Date: 28 Jun 01 - 06:18 PM Good to have you again..... and give the doggies a pat from me... LTS |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Liz the Squeak Date: 28 Jun 01 - 06:27 PM Oh, by the way, Nice pair of nebula's you have there.... LTS |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Áine Date: 28 Jun 01 - 06:40 PM Hey there, my dearest Patricus Pootamus Maximus -- Check out SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 57 -- It's dedicated to yourself, and my darlin' Challenge!rs are 'out-pooing' themselves in your honour!! Check it out, oh thou of the sweetest saggy ass in Mudcatdom, it's all just for you!! With all appropriate arm movements and lip puckers, Áine |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Banjer Date: 28 Jun 01 - 06:49 PM Well here I am home from work and it is as I had hoped!! A personal greeting from the 'Spawman hisself!! Life is great!! Welcome home to Mudcatville...we have missed ya! |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: hesperis Date: 28 Jun 01 - 09:38 PM AWESOME!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: alison Date: 28 Jun 01 - 09:47 PM great to have you back 'Spaw...... kisses and big hugs from down under....
love alison |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: catspaw49 Date: 28 Jun 01 - 11:02 PM oh yeah......right al.........NOW I get hugs from"down under" and I'm a bit sore there since they hook the heart/lung machine into the aorta just above the femoral brachia (for those of you less skilled in anatomy, that'd be just above my balls). Joe Smackers is very displeased over this BTW. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Jande Date: 28 Jun 01 - 11:17 PM Hey, Spaw! So GLAD your back and well on your way to being fitter than a fiddle. Bless you , and bless that gol-durned newfangled machine, too! {{{{{{hugs}}}}}} ~ Jande |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Helen Date: 29 Jun 01 - 12:21 AM Pseudolus/Frank - ROFLMAO! 'Spaw, I knew you'd be back sooner rather than later. Biggest air-kisses (to save you from the bear-hugs) from over here, i.e. from afar, i.e. you can't get much more "afar" than over here & downunder - so once again the Aussies have scooped the pool on the perfect place to be. Just have to worry about global winds, that's all. And doesn't the ceremony consist of 'Spaw filling up innumerable hot-air balloons to release into the atmosphere, to sell as religious relics, to send to cult-followers around the world (for a price), and to use as whoopee cushions with a special extra benefit: the genuine smell to match the noise?? Helen |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: catspaw49 Date: 29 Jun 01 - 12:33 AM Well Helen, I thought of that but the damn things keep exploding and all so, uh............. If you didn't know, you can hear the valve outside, but luckily due to some strange manner of acoustics, I CAN'T !!! Now Karen and Connie say it's music to their ears, but I think I may have a future as the Crocodile in Peter Pan. But I gotta' tell ya'........I'm getting real fearful of the idea of showing up at the airport metal detectors. See, the staples from the bypass mean that I set the damn things off and although I tell them what the problem is, I still have to open my shirt and let them wave the wand gizmo over my chest. NOW>>>>........I can just see it........I open my shirt and the guy HEARS this ticking...... HE'S A CRAZED TERRORIST!!!! HE SWALLOWED A BOMB!!!! .........weapons are drawn and the bomb squad shows up and stuff me in one of those containers causing me to fart which then explodes and blows my ass to Kingdom Come....................just not a pretty picture is it? Graphic though............... Spaw |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: CarolC Date: 29 Jun 01 - 12:36 AM Welcome back, Spaw. Glad to hear things went so well for you. Carol |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Escamillo Date: 29 Jun 01 - 01:11 AM These are the best news I received in a long time, Spaw. Not only recovering, but five times better ! Then that couple of beers will be ten, Spaw. Be prepared. Un gran abrazo - Andrés |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Liz the Squeak Date: 29 Jun 01 - 01:48 AM If you really want to gross out the metal detectors and security at airports, get yourself a few piercings!! A friend of mine travels a lot, and has multiple piercings including a 'Prince Albert'..... they get very worried when he has to put THAT on the tray....... His wife is ..... similarly pierced. She just gets waved through when he explains..... you don't want to mess with a guy who voluntarily had THAT done to his ooHOOhoo.. LTS |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: catspaw49 Date: 29 Jun 01 - 01:54 AM I'm not real choked up over meeting up with the guy who DID that to this dude's "ooHOOhoo" either now that you mention it................ Spaw |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Ebbie Date: 29 Jun 01 - 01:55 AM Like everyone else, I'm just SO pleased that you're already feeling better than you did pre-op. I can just imagine the color of health on your face- it's a remarkable change, isn't it! Welcome back- we've missed you. Ebbie |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Mudlark Date: 29 Jun 01 - 02:27 AM Spaw speaks!!!! Now that's more like it.... Welcome back! nancy |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Chip2447 Date: 29 Jun 01 - 02:36 AM Welcome back and good health to ya Spaw... |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Ella who is Sooze Date: 29 Jun 01 - 03:11 AM Welcome back Spaw, take it easy and all the best Ella |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Stewie Date: 29 Jun 01 - 03:24 AM Welcome back, Spaw. All good things. --Stewie. |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Llanfair Date: 29 Jun 01 - 03:34 AM It's good to read your posts again, 'Spaw, welcome home!! Bron. |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Liz the Squeak Date: 29 Jun 01 - 08:49 AM What's the matter Spaw? - I thought you like having holes made in you!! Take it easy mate, and what ever you do, don't sneeze! LTS |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Big Mick Date: 29 Jun 01 - 10:05 AM Huh..........Spaw's out of the joint and back............just a minute.........sound of screen door opening..........AWWWWRRIIIGGGGGGHHHHTTTTTEEEEEEEE THEN...........ALL YOU LITTLE BEGGARS CAN EXTINGUISH THE BIC'S, DIG A HOLE AND THROW THE USED ONES IN AND BURY THEM........YOU, .....YEAH YOU, THE CLETIS LOOK ALIKE....SEE IF YOU CAN GET THE GROCERY STORE TO TAKE BACK THE REST OF THE CASE OF BIC'S..........HUH?........geeziz, keep your voice down,.........of course you will all be paid for the time spent keeping that bic lit, just like we promised............... yeah, yeah, just send us a bill..........where?.........Just send it to Patterson, Fielding, Swan and Lane, layabouts at large and for hire...............Oh yeah, kid, the check will be in the mail.....don't sweat it.........OK..........ALL YOU LITTLE RUGRATS,.........THE TOAST AND VEGEMITE ARE ON US..........ONLY ONE RULE..........YOU ALL MUST STAY DOWNWIND........... Welcome back, buddy. Mick |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Bert Date: 29 Jun 01 - 10:22 AM Wotcha Mush! 'owyergettinonorrite? Oh and be careful of that "Gran Abrazo" that Andrés is sending you, don't let it escape now it might eat that big floopy dog of yours. I'll just send yer a hug instead. Luvyaguy. Bert. |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Bert Date: 29 Jun 01 - 10:25 AM Actually floopy was a typo for floppy, but I let it stand because it seems to more adequately describe a Weimaraner. |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: wysiwyg Date: 29 Jun 01 - 11:20 AM Floopy. Good word. Here's a big sloopy snoog from your Pennsyltucky Prayer Patootie. ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: KathWestra Date: 29 Jun 01 - 12:25 PM Pat, Tears in my eyes and a heart full of gratitude for YOUR newly fortified heart -- and for all those who helped see you through this enormous and life-changing time. Thanks be for surgeons, friends, family, lifesaving new technology, and for your own spirit and determination that this was going to work. Enjoy your life, my friend, every minute of it! Love, Kathy |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: gnu Date: 29 Jun 01 - 12:49 PM Great to see you back. Thanks to St. Jude for favours received. I'm sure that, with all the preying that went on, he was there in the OR personally. Wouldn't leave someone as important as you to just a guardian angel. You should talk to him about the hospital food, though. Pureed pork chops.... eeeewwwww ! |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: GUEST,little john cameron Date: 29 Jun 01 - 01:15 PM Welcome back auld yin.Whit's the story oan the aortic aneurysm noo?Are ye able tae go for a hurl oan the bike?Ah wis jist lookin at a 1973 Bonnie,$3000 bit unfortunately ah cannae wangle the money.The wife wants tae squander the money oan groceries an' ither useless items.Ah weel ah can aye dream.Did ye lose oney weight?Ye could dae wi' losin a few pounds could ye no'?Ye did great.Ah wis in the ICU for twa monthe an then anither month oan the ward.Complications ye know.Great tae be health again for anither while. ljc |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Uncle_DaveO Date: 29 Jun 01 - 01:25 PM Damn! I HATE me-too postings. But me too! Welcome back. It's been awfully tame without you! Dave Oesterreich |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Big Mick Date: 29 Jun 01 - 01:42 PM AWRIGHT, Little John, you skirt wearin' gobshite!!!! What the hell is this aboot bein' in the feckin' Hospital and not telling anyfeckinbody?? Sweet Jazus, man, do ya not know that you have friends here?????????? I love you friggin Scots, even have some in my background..........but you are a thickheaded lot..........LOL. OH.....yeah......and I am very happy that you are OK, as well. All the best, Mick |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: RichM Date: 29 Jun 01 - 01:59 PM Welcome back, Catspaw. By the way, did they do anything about the flatulence? What would be the opposite of flatulence-- sharpulence?? :) Rich McCarthy |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 29 Jun 01 - 02:02 PM "Already my energy level is easily 5 times greater"
Good Grief... |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: SDShad Date: 29 Jun 01 - 02:45 PM Damn, Pat. Just this--"I can breathe better than I have done in years"--is the best news this heah place has had in a month o' Sundays. 'Cause there are a lot of folks here that want you to keep doin' just that--breathin'--for a long time to come. Even if'n we can't breathe around you after you've had Vegemite.... Chris |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: wysiwyg Date: 29 Jun 01 - 04:58 PM RichM, that would make them accidentals. Don't cut him that much slack; when he cuts something there is neither slack nor anything accidental about it, either. *G* ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Lin in Kansas Date: 29 Jun 01 - 06:53 PM Yeeeeeee-hawwwwwwwww! Good to "see" you, Pat, and wecome home!!! Lin and John |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: catspaw49 Date: 29 Jun 01 - 07:57 PM Thanks so much to all of you.........Still one helluva' place ain't it? But Now.............. I just went down and picked up the mail from the Post Office that they were holding and I ran across this strange letter on a vaguely familiar letterhead and, uh.................... DEAR MICK BRO.......WE NEED TO TALK!!!!!!! So what's going on anyway. Evidently some of my partners in the firm of Patterson, Fielding, Swan, and Lane were expecting some different result here as I found this letter with a return addy of "Fielding, Swan, and Lane, Lay-Abouts At Large and For Hire"........I couldn't help but notice that "Patterson" was missing. So I open the envelope and read the letter on the matching letterhead I might add. Obviously you've been using the services of some typist at that phoney-baloney union you work for and she's obviously not the sharpest knife in the drawer because I don't think I was supposed to get a copy of this particlar missive. The text reads: ************************************************** Hey There Fellow Layabouts! First, let me ask you.....Ain't this new stationary cool looking? Spaw never wanted to change from that shite color brown and now we can do it! Nice and professional looking huh? The printer ran me some for approval so I thought I'd use it here. Well El Swanno, I think that based on your medical expertise and Brother Fielding, your read of Pat's general mood, we can start to make some changes around here. Dave, I do want to make sure that your medical terms mean what I think they do. You state that Spaw's condition is "MUH/PBS" which I take to mean, "Messed Up Heart/Pretty Bad Shape" and the possible outcomes for the operation are a stroke resulting in C-CFCCP, meaning "Coo-Coo For CoCoa Puffs" but since he is PCL (pre-code looking?) we can figure the actual probability to be CTD/ART which I assume is "Circling The Drain/Assuming Room Temperature." If I'm right here, then we can mark him off the books soon as NLPR (No Longer Playing Records). So then Brothers......How do we divide the loot? None of us are well off and neither was he (see how easy we can move to past tense?....or should that be "passed" tense....LOL) but there are the guitars and mandos and dulcimers and such....PLUS, we can't let his copy of the Secret Ritual Code Book get into the wrong hands. God knows that feckin' gob-shite had the thing down to an art, but we can't allow anyone else to know that his, and our, lovability is a complete sham! How that guy could shite all over people and still be loved! Like I say, an art form, but our lovability quotients at Mudcat are threatened until we get that damn book back! Think on it and hope for the best! Are either of you free for the funeral? Let me know and I'll try to make it too. Might be an opp for getting back the book, not to mention selling those 'Catters on our honor, sensitivity and all that shite. I know I'd prefer to be fishing, but what are you gonna' do? Best Wishes....LOL, Big Mick *************************************************** Now lookit here Mick......I admire your greed and that Michigan Wolverine "going for the jugular" thing, but wait until I belly up man!!! Come to think of it though, maybe we need to add a chapter on this kind of thing in the Ritual Manual..................Anyway, cancel the order at the printers unless you want to pay for the stuff yourself. Have Nice Evening.
Brother Spaw
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: catspaw49 Date: 30 Jun 01 - 01:00 AM Just remembered this one..........Gnu my man, you may have a point when you said, Thanks to St. Jude for favours received. I'm sure that, with all the praying that went on, he was there in the OR personally. Wouldn't leave someone as important as you to just a guardian angel. The artificial valve they put in which is ticking away so happily is a very tried and true piece called a "St. Jude's Valve," named for it's place of invention at St. Jude's Hospital and Research Center. Don't try to read too much into it my friend, let's just go have a Turkey Turd Beer together! Spaw |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Bugsy Date: 30 Jun 01 - 01:36 AM Welcome back mate. Cheers
Bugsy |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: roopoo Date: 30 Jun 01 - 03:17 AM And as we all know, Jude is the patron saint of hopeless cases! (D'ya think that he could work on the flatulence too, or would that be expecting too much of him?) Welcome back Spaw. Hope the soreness eases soon. If you don't overdo things it will probably get better a lot faster. Let's face it, your innards have taken a severe battering. Love Andrea |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: gnu Date: 30 Jun 01 - 06:01 AM "St. Jude's Valve" ? So, all those Novenas were a waste of time, given the fact that he would have been there anyway, collecting royalties. mouldy... hopeless cases... LOL |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: catspaw49 Date: 30 Jun 01 - 12:28 PM Well, there are some hpoeless cases gnu, and Mouldy is right......flatulence in my case is one. Water gives me gas fer crissakes! Interesting though that St.Jude CAUSED another hopeless situation which I may as well own up to here and now............ As you know, the robot only required two pencil sized holes to enter my chest and those are on the right side, opposite the heart. When they decided the valve could not be repaired and selected the St.Jude, they put a two inch incision below my right breast and between the ribs to sort of "hand it to the robot" now inside. The little hands and arms moved it across and did all the cutting and suturing to install it in the heart. All well and good so far huh? Okay, so let's remember that these guys are cardio surgeons and cosmetics aren't high on their list of priorities. When it came to closing the "window" they simply pulled some skin down and tied it up with some steri-strips. This results in a "push-up" style look to my right tit, BUT ALSO meant that the nipple, instead of pointing forward, now points down!! funniest looking damn thing you ever saw!!!! The sites have almost healed already and in another 6 weeks when I am allowed, I can't wait to go swimming somewhere and wait for the stares and comments! I need some good "story" though like male breast reduction gone bad or something..............I just ran into a friend and showed him and he couldn't believe the robot story or based on how good I looked that I'd just had heart surgery so I figure a well crafted lie will be more easily believed than the amazing truth. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Rich(bodhránai gan ciall) Date: 30 Jun 01 - 01:38 PM Spaw, great to see you back. It's just not been right at all here while you were away! Glad everything went alright. Rich PS: How is hospital Vegemite? |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: katlaughing Date: 30 Jun 01 - 01:49 PM I guess this means we can't change Rick's auction item to the MEMORIAL pressing of etc.?!LOL Nice to see you back in fine form, funny-pointing nipple and all. luvyakat |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: GUEST Date: 30 Jun 01 - 01:51 PM The flatulant one has returned, Time to give a loud HUZZAH indeed. Sledge |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: roopoo Date: 01 Jul 01 - 03:20 AM Should we now be offering suggestions for Spaw's cover story on the nipple that's heading south? - New style organic fully portable compass? Well his head's north, his descended nipple is south, the other could perhaps be east (pointing horizontally one presumes, but not having actually met the guy...), and of course the protrusion on the rear could indicate west, being from where round here the prevailing wind comes! Daft, I know, but it just suddenly came to mind. Andrea |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Ferrara Date: 01 Jul 01 - 09:38 AM Oh, God, let me tell you, never read a thread about Catspaw and try to take a drink of water at the same time. I started laughing (again) towards the middle of the thread and nearly choked on my water. Spaw, you have some really weird and warped friends, in addition to your many other excellent qualities. Just can't tell you what a joy it is, that you have come through this so well. Hope you're over most of the discomfort really soon. BTW you're right about the lack of aesthetic sensibility on the part of cardiac surgeons! Mine just pulled the skin together and stapled, any which way, and I had a three or four inch stripe of very tender puffy scarring, about a quarter inch across, where they caught too much skin in the staples. (The whole scar is about 6 or 7 inches long, but they didn't botch all of it.) It looked like a mole had tunneled under the skin, and hurt like the devil. It's still a lump, but at least it eventually stopped hurting. Takes time, though. Even the safest, most non-invasive heart surgery is going to guarantee you a few "interesting" experiences! You said all along that you felt pretty optimistic about this. Looks like you were right. This is one time we're all glad to hear someone say, "I told you so...." All the best, Rita |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: GUEST,little john cameron Date: 01 Jul 01 - 06:50 PM Rita,glad you are ok, but 6inches |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: catspaw49 Date: 01 Jul 01 - 08:16 PM Thanks everyone and to you Rita for realizing that I have some incredibly warped friends around here, especially since I count Bill as one of them.....and very high up the list at that!! My back surgery had a fantastically beautiful result; the quad by-pass was pretty good, just a "hair" off; the belly cut for the bowel resection was really pretty bad; this one for the valve looks AWFUL!!!............I'm really going downhill here so I need to cancel any more surgeries.............oh, please......let's not do anymore...........oy.............. Rita....One other thing, I DO think we need a short parody song on replacement parts and modern medicine for you, Barry, and myself to sing at the Getaway!! Spaw |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: mooman Date: 02 Jul 01 - 09:54 AM Dear 'Spaw, Since you requested it personally, I am happy to start the ball rolling over here Best regards, mooman |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: LR Mole Date: 02 Jul 01 - 03:55 PM Welcome back, and enough of the clicky thing blues. |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Kim C Date: 03 Jul 01 - 01:53 PM What's a Prince Albert? |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: MMario Date: 03 Jul 01 - 02:22 PM I was hoping no one would ask |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Kim C Date: 03 Jul 01 - 04:03 PM And y'all thought I was crazy for having tattoos. No offense to anyone who is pierced that way... but that's just plain weird. I don't think I'd want to hokey pokey with a ringy dingy... Back to our regular programme. (ps I don't believe the story about Prince Albert or the dressing ring. If anyone can produce actual documentation of such, I might consider changing my mind.) |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Liz the Squeak Date: 03 Jul 01 - 06:01 PM Can't produce documentation, but have it on museum authority that it is true... there is one of the chains in store (like THAT will ever see the light of day) in one of the palaces...... LTS |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Banjer Date: 03 Jul 01 - 07:46 PM The most horrid thought just crossed the vast wasteland that for me passes as a mind!!! With his mechanical clicking heart valve does he now join the ranks of Steve Austin? You know the Bionic Man...? I can just hear his Doctors now... Hell, Larry, we can put him back together again... Ya really think so, Moe?... Well Soitenly.... Where's Dr Curley when you need him...? |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Banjer Date: 03 Jul 01 - 07:49 PM ....And who are these warped friends you're talking about???? |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: artbrooks Date: 03 Jul 01 - 10:14 PM Well, I make it a practice not to be rude and inappropriate about someone I don't know, so I assume that all you folks are personal friends and/or family members of the party-of-the-first-part. As a (relatively) new Mudcat member, I can only say that I missed your sparkling reparte and am glad to have you back. |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: harpgirl Date: 03 Jul 01 - 10:30 PM ...you can't fool me. I know you are trying to become a human tic tac toe board! What a gig... |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: harpgirl Date: 03 Jul 01 - 10:37 PM I need a picture, Mario!!!! Strictly for research purposes! |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: katlaughing Date: 04 Jul 01 - 12:30 AM hg, here's the research you asked for, as the BBC would say: "CONTAINS EXPLICIT MATERIAL AND IS MEANT FOR A MATURE AUDIENCE" |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Banjer Date: 04 Jul 01 - 04:13 AM Boy, talk about more info than I ever needed to know!!! Why in the world would anybody......never mind, gotta keep in mind it takes many different pieces to make the whole! Thanks, Kat, for the enlightenment. I been to two county fairs and a asskickin' contest and ain't never seen nothin' like that! |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: catspaw49 Date: 04 Jul 01 - 06:52 AM geeziz kat...........Although I do wonder what keywords you searched with......something like "pierced dick pics" or something? Spaw |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: harpgirl Date: 04 Jul 01 - 09:07 AM ...just as I suspected, kat! The rings are on the wrong side for maximum functionality! There's a guy here in town with a fish skeleton tattooed on his...I mean I've just heard about it...no direct experience mind you...hg |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Bill D Date: 04 Jul 01 - 11:51 AM "de gustibus non disputandum est" didja know that Google now has an advanced image search? and so does FastSearch,(AlltheWeb) it's all out there folks, but do remember what Samuel Johnson said to the ladies who came calling to protest his new dictionary: "Dr. Johnson, your dictionary contains sone VERY improper words!" "Madame, you have been looking for them!" |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: katlaughing Date: 04 Jul 01 - 03:10 PM Spaw, all it took was "prince albert piercings photos!" hg, I did find one that was done the opposite, but as it wasn't a "proper" Prince Albert, I didn't think it appropriate for accurate research purposes!**BG** It's okay, Banj, take a deep breath, darlin'... BillD, you never cease to amaze me with your "finds" |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Banjer Date: 04 Jul 01 - 04:24 PM That's the problem Kat, I took a deep breath and I ain't been able to let it go yet. That's got to hurt....ain't for me...that's for sure. |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Little Hawk Date: 04 Jul 01 - 05:39 PM Lord, I beseech thee, put an end to this fecking thread, which is now becoming even sillier than some of the ones I have launched from time to time. Verily, verily, and forsooth it doth knit my brows with vexation and further doth scorch my conscience with vile and unspeakable wrath. Not to mention my cookies... A pox on they who have contributed to it thus far. May they perish in unutterable perdition. May their wails of lamentation cause hamsters to pause whilst running around on their exercise wheels. May dying whales beach themselves on their front porches, there to rot in putrescent array day upon day without respite until George Bush does the State of the Union speech clad in a pink jumpsuit. May young juveniles in boom cars circle endlessly around their residences late at night. May flattop give them a full explanation of his particular theory of what life is all about...and may they then receive a full rebuttal of same from Little Hawk, with all the embellishments. May confusion fall upon them all!!! (As it most certainly would, given the above scenario...) Strike them down, O Lord, and bury them in Hostess Twinkies! Further, O Lord, adorn their mantles with talking plastic fish that can repeat 7 or 8 different phrases, fart, and excuse themselves for so doing...at random...till the batteries run down. Lord, I beseech thee, put an end to this fecking thread!!! He he he! :-D - LH |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Banjer Date: 04 Jul 01 - 06:58 PM Seems like a whole lota beseechin' goin' on around here!! Next ya know he'll be wantin' one of them there Prince Albert things. All's I know about this piercing thing is: I was born with just the right number of holes in my body and I don't need to put in any more! |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Ebbie Date: 04 Jul 01 - 07:32 PM I'm still trying to figure out what Gnu means by 'preying'. |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: flattop Date: 04 Jul 01 - 10:28 PM Where'd you get one of those talking fish, Little Hawk? Using too many batteries? You must be playing with it a lot. |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Little Hawk Date: 04 Jul 01 - 10:34 PM It's okay, I got rechargeables... - LH |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: flattop Date: 04 Jul 01 - 10:39 PM You could just stop playing with your fish. |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Little Hawk Date: 04 Jul 01 - 11:00 PM Just what are you implying? - LH |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: flattop Date: 04 Jul 01 - 11:03 PM Oops! I thought you'd slipped out to the adult toy section of Walmart to look for something to keep your fish happy, like Mrs. Warm and Wonderful Vibrating Seaweed?" |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Kim C Date: 05 Jul 01 - 10:32 AM Are Little Hawk and flattop brothers or something? I couldn't check out the research photo. That could get me in trouble here at work. :-) |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: flattop Date: 05 Jul 01 - 01:04 PM No, sisters! |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: GUEST,Little Hawk, still off my cookie.... Date: 05 Jul 01 - 03:23 PM LOL! Does that mean I can call you a weak sister, flattop? We are brothers, but only in a sense...not by blood, but rather by destiny...or happenstance...depending on which one of us you ask. We have a number of things in common, and enjoy disagreeing about the finer points of most of the others. We sometimes act like enemies for mutual entertainment purposes. Hopefully, it amuses the rest of you as well. - LH |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: flattop Date: 05 Jul 01 - 06:19 PM Well you've called me everything else in this life and past lives. Luckily I wasn't there. |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: CarolC Date: 05 Jul 01 - 06:32 PM Don't believe them, Kim C. flattop and Little Hawk are twins who were separated at birth, and only just found each other again a few years ago.
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Little Hawk Date: 05 Jul 01 - 10:31 PM Carol - Damn right you're not at liberty! You've said way too much already... flattop - That's the trouble most of the time even in this life...you're not there. Those circus roustabouts sure screwed with your head, man. I figure a guy with your basic instincts and keen perceptions could have achieved a spiritual breakthrough years ago, with a better upbringing. Same goes for me, of course. It's a cryin' shame. - LH p.s. By the way, people, I'm the good looking twin... |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Amos Date: 05 Jul 01 - 11:25 PM You boys should go back to your corners of the Galaxy and start wending all over again, see if you ever intersect paths, or whether some Cosmic Animus would keep you eternally apart.... A |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: flattop Date: 05 Jul 01 - 11:31 PM |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: flattop Date: 05 Jul 01 - 11:36 PM Ok Little Hawk, you can pretend that you're the good looking sister tonight and I'll play the ugly modest one but tomorrow night we switch. (If anyone comes with a glass slipper tonight though, I'm out of here.) |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: catspaw49 Date: 05 Jul 01 - 11:54 PM Amos, did you say "Cosmic Animus" or "Cosmic Anus?" I mean they're both unversally known as assholes.......... Spaw |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: flattop Date: 06 Jul 01 - 12:02 AM And who's playin the wicked stepmother tonight, spaw? |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: catspaw49 Date: 06 Jul 01 - 12:04 AM I dunno' Flats.........What the hell, I got some spare time though................ Spaw |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: flattop Date: 06 Jul 01 - 12:10 AM Yes but have you got a good dress without holes in the arse? |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Kim C Date: 06 Jul 01 - 10:13 AM Which one of you has the Prince Albert? |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Little Hawk Date: 06 Jul 01 - 11:34 AM Catspaw - You state that flattop and I are "unversally (sic) known as assholes". I presume you meant "universally"? If so, that is untrue, and deeply offensive, and I am hurt that you would make such a misleading statement. There are still plenty of people in places like Scranton and Schenectady who don't know anything of the sort... I contacted some guy in Saudi Arabia, and he says most people there don't know about me or flattop either. Oh...he had heard of you, though. He says you're an asshole. :-) So there. - LH |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: gnu Date: 06 Jul 01 - 02:42 PM Ebbie... the thought was in the right place, even if the right vowel wasn't, eh ? I can spel most werds... I jest can't tipe. So my mynd is on the keebord more then the spelin. My apollogees. |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: catspaw49 Date: 06 Jul 01 - 03:33 PM Sorry LH, just reporting the news as it comes in. I think you're a fine fellow personally and although that guy in Saudi Arabia may have me pegged, you and flats seem to have the entire vote from Blastois 7 and everyone in the Zwamppermann Galaxy....probably due to the spread of your notoriety by one Major Tom, psychotic, one-way, astronaut. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: CarolC Date: 06 Jul 01 - 03:41 PM Yup. Notorious assholes all over the galaxy except for Uranus. |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: MMario Date: 06 Jul 01 - 03:43 PM but I hear they are known on the rings around Uranus |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: flattop Date: 06 Jul 01 - 05:05 PM I think I'll remain the ugly sister, Kim. No jewellery for me thanks. |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Little Hawk Date: 06 Jul 01 - 05:10 PM It's a pity we can't get Major Tom back to refute some of these rumours... Looks like this thread is not going to go quietly away, eh? - LH |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: CarolC Date: 06 Jul 01 - 06:23 PM Aw, Little Hawk. I don't really think you and flattop are assholes of any sort. I just can't seem to resist an opportunity to get in a cheap shot about Uranus. I know it's a major personality flaw of mine. My son had to change the way he pronounces Uranus because of it. Just ask him... he'll tell you. "Not enough therapy in the world", he'll say. |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Little Hawk Date: 06 Jul 01 - 06:31 PM Yes. On the other hand, "You're a nuss!" sounds kind of nasty too, doesn't it? - LH |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: flattop Date: 06 Jul 01 - 06:34 PM I thought Spaw would make a wicked stepmother. |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: CarolC Date: 06 Jul 01 - 06:36 PM Yeah, but my imagination's not good enough to come up with any jokes about 'You're a nuss'. I'm just a third rate cheap shot joke teller with very little talent or brains, I'm afraid. Sorry. |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Banjer Date: 06 Jul 01 - 06:49 PM I bet Flattop and Little Hawk are the two fellers that are oft told of in the story of the lost camel. That would tie in with the Saudi connection. You know the story I refer to? It's the one about the two guys riding on a borrowed camel through the market place. They hear someone say "Look at the two assholes on that camel" and when they climbed down to see for themselves the camel ran away! |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Little Hawk Date: 06 Jul 01 - 09:09 PM Banjer, there are trained ninja hamsters on their way to your residence at this very moment. Best settle your affairs while there is still time. These guys have no trouble relating to the concept of an Out-of-Cage Experience, I can assure you. - LH |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Amos Date: 06 Jul 01 - 11:40 PM Here kitty kitty... |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Banjer Date: 07 Jul 01 - 05:35 AM Wonderful, we have company coming!!! Do tell, LH, what do ninja hamsters like to eat? I will see to it that the table is set when they arrive! BTW, did you and FT actually see the two assholes on the camel, or did he get away too fast?? |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: flattop Date: 07 Jul 01 - 09:48 AM Perhaps those guys climbed off their camel because they were surprised to hear someone with an American accent almost speaking proper English in a Saudi marketplace. Or they might have been returning the borrowed camel to the camel rental booth. The story could have gotten twisted before it got to you in the southern states, Banjer. You weren't in the market at the time, were you? Would it be the customers' fault if they were loaned a difficult camel? Keep that in mind when you're renting a camel, Banjer. Camel vendors can be unscrupulous. If you are buying a camel, always have it checked out by an independent dealer. Watch for cracking hooves and weak gonads on models over twenty years old – same kind a problems we're having ourselves, eh Banjer? These defects could cost you a fortune in repair bills. There's a whole throng of other flaws and safety recalls that you should keep in mind but I have to rush in to the office. I'm sure other mudcatters will kindly help you with all your peculiar camel questions. Be particularly wary of camels that lift their tails a lot. Don't stand behind them laughing and cracking jokes. Camel farts can deaden your brain cell. |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Banjer Date: 07 Jul 01 - 11:16 AM Well, there it is. Flattop accounts for at least one of them....*BG* |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: gnu Date: 07 Jul 01 - 03:04 PM Of course, you did remember to "brick" the camel before you left the rental shop, no ? |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Little Hawk Date: 07 Jul 01 - 03:12 PM It is unwise to stand immediately behind a camel when bricking it, I've heard. In fact it's unwise even when not bricking them! Ditto with horses and mules and cows and... - LH |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: gnu Date: 07 Jul 01 - 03:15 PM ...bears. |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: flattop Date: 07 Jul 01 - 03:46 PM Better behind the bear than the bear behind you, gnu. |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: gnu Date: 07 Jul 01 - 03:52 PM Now, that would be a BRICK. |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Amos Date: 07 Jul 01 - 04:13 PM Profound reflections:
Sometimes ... when you cry ... no one sees your tears ...
Sometimes ... when you are happy ... no one sees your smile . . . . . . . . ... . .
But fart just one time... |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: gnu Date: 08 Jul 01 - 08:42 AM Full circle in 156 posts. |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Peter Kasin Date: 08 Jul 01 - 02:53 PM Spaw, you could have gone to Bob's Auto Shop for the valve job. They would've had you back in four days, although it would've cost alot more. Glad to have you back here, buddy. -chanteyranger |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Art Thieme Date: 11 Jul 01 - 02:53 PM As the foley fills with it's golden nectar, be sure to take a black permanent marker and draw a smiley face on it. When it is full and looks best, take a walk with your walker and you will be the talk of the floor. On many trips to hospitals I've done this very thing to tremendous applause. Art Thieme |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Little Hawk Date: 11 Jul 01 - 03:36 PM Cute. Did you draw the smiley face on your own foley or somebody else's, Art? - LH |
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