BS: G rated swear words

Subject: BS: G rated swear words
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 27 Nov 05 - 08:28 AM

In recent years, a lot of perfectly good, G-rated swear words are being forgotten, and as folkies who are committed to preserving the past, I thought it might be a good idea to catalogue them, and perhaps even bring them back into fashion. If we start using these words in our daily conversation and include them in introductions to songs on stage, we might be able to preserve a whole lexicon of rapdily diasppearing words. And swear in public with no one even realizing it!

Criminently! those dad-burned, Gol-danged Right Wing conservatives won't even get their knickers in a twist.

Gee whilikers, I feel dangerous today....

Ranking Jerry

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: wysiwyg
Date: 27 Nov 05 - 09:03 AM

"Go Canoodle Yourself"

:~)

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: Cluin
Date: 27 Nov 05 - 09:55 AM

Consarn fliberty jibbet!

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: greg stephens
Date: 27 Nov 05 - 09:57 AM

Jiminy Cricket!

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: Cluin
Date: 27 Nov 05 - 10:09 AM

Holey Moley!

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: Midchuck
Date: 27 Nov 05 - 10:11 AM

To quote one of the Walt Kelly's Pogo characters when he was really mad:

"Gosh-a-mickle, dickle, pickle, dog my cats, and Rowrbazzle!"

Peter.

(I also like Larry Niven's "Tanj!" (Acronym for "There Ain't No Justice!")

(Taking the names of Lovecraft's Great Old Ones in vain is also good.)

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: Cluin
Date: 27 Nov 05 - 10:17 AM

My grandmother used to use the word "buggers" all time.

"You little buggers! Put that down now!"

Then someone told her what "bugger" meant. She was mortified and made a conscious effort to say "beggars" instead. But sometimes she didn't catch herself in time and was embarassed.

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: Joe Offer
Date: 27 Nov 05 - 10:26 AM

Blasted Blatterap!!!

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: *daylia*
Date: 27 Nov 05 - 10:29 AM

When she was distressed, my grandmother's favourite line was "Maudit d'imbecile va!" (you damn idiot you)   

My dad's signature line was "You got a tongue longer than a Mountie's boot!"

And mine, these days, is "HOLY HAIRY FLIPPINS!" Made it up myself. Cool, eh? Takes the edge off, always makes me chuckle ... check it out sometime!

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: Cluin
Date: 27 Nov 05 - 10:40 AM

SonofaSeaCook!

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: Cluin
Date: 27 Nov 05 - 10:42 AM

Jeepers Cripes!

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: Cluin
Date: 27 Nov 05 - 10:47 AM

Flat footed flea flicker!

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: JennyO
Date: 27 Nov 05 - 11:07 AM

Great everlasting hambone! (my grandfather's)

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: TheBigPinkLad
Date: 27 Nov 05 - 11:20 AM

I find it hilarious that in Spanish it's perfectly acceptable to call your granny a conyo.

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: Ebbie
Date: 27 Nov 05 - 12:19 PM

'You spoiled calf'. My father, in German.

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: Azizi
Date: 27 Nov 05 - 12:26 PM

This one's almost like one Cluin wrote:

Jeepers Creepers!

And here's another G rated swear phrase that I haven't seen mentioned yet:

Great Googa Mooga!

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: Cluin
Date: 27 Nov 05 - 12:28 PM

To quote Superman, "Great Scott!"

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: Kaleea
Date: 27 Nov 05 - 01:18 PM

Golly gee willikers! This is my kinda ding dong thread. I've been cussin' in the "key of G" for so dadgum long I can hardly remember how to cuss in the wirty dord way.

Some of my Granny's strongest terms:

My Lands.

Land-o-Goshen.

    Chicago, Illinois!

Well, it's dust in the dust bowl now.
    (they lived in the heart of the dust bowl)

Some I use which my friends enjoy hearing the most:

That horse's hind end.
You donkey's p'toot.

What in the name of General Beauxregarde Beauxdacious Lee
    do you think you're doing?

Those sons of bachelors.
aka: offspring of women of ill repute.
      born in the red-light district.

You've got one whoppin' pile of an outhouse mouth.

Well, I'll be tied up & hornswaggled.

I think the cheese done slid off o' her cracker.

That feller's got no falurum faldiddley day.
   --courtesy Irish ballad:
    "Maids When You're Young Never Wed An Old Man"

Sir, your views are fodder for mules and compost for politicians.

You've got about as much of a chance as
               total truth on Crapitol Hill.

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: GUEST,KT
Date: 27 Nov 05 - 01:35 PM

My Gran's favorites were; "Fol de rol dol!! "    and....lest we forget, "Oh, FIDDLESTICKS!"

How 'bout, "Holy Mackeral, (andy!)"

KT

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 27 Nov 05 - 02:09 PM

And one of my Father's, when I did something wrong:

Gerald Elmer Henry Hornsbuckle Rasmussen!

I also enjoyed my Father saying when I was in trouble that "Your Mother's going to put the wood on you." That's easy enough to figure out (although my Mother never did.)

And Rowrbazzle! Thank you Midchuck! That was a favorite saying of mine back in the golden days of Pogo. I'll have to dust that one off.

We're all starting to sound like Flibberty Jibbets. (not sure if that is one or two words..)

Gee, it's fun to cuss..

Jerry

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: GUEST
Date: 27 Nov 05 - 03:48 PM

Gadzooks!

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: pdq
Date: 27 Nov 05 - 04:04 PM

balderdash!

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: Don Firth
Date: 27 Nov 05 - 04:07 PM

Expression of amazement:

"Well, I'll be dipped!!"

In what? Well . . . I guess you just have to use your imagination.

And then there is a long list of great curses from the Middle East, such as "May wild asses defile the grave of your grandmother!"

And another, this one from the Jewish tradition:   "May you have a hundred mansions. And may each mansion have a hundred bedrooms. And may each bedroom have a hundred beds. And may insomnia keep you bouncing from bed to bed all night!"

Of course these are more in the nature of curses than swear words, but they don't use non-G-rated words and they require a certain amount of imagination to construct.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 27 Nov 05 - 05:03 PM

No, Don, it's dipstick!

Jerry

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: GUEST,KateG without a cookie
Date: 27 Nov 05 - 05:14 PM

The supposedly Quaker curse: When thee gets home, I hope thy mother runs out from under thy porch and bites thee.

Rats!!
Phooey!!
Drat!!
Fiddlesticks!!!

On the subject of the ubiquitous f-word. I could never understand why such a pleasurable activity should be reduced to an expletive. You might as well go round injecting "Ice Cream" into every sentence.

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: Bard Judith
Date: 27 Nov 05 - 05:36 PM

Dang!
Drat!
Fiddle!
Fudge!
Botheration!
Poodlepoop! (perhaps a bit on the bathroom side of taste, but even three year olds get away with saying 'poop', right?)
Heck!


And from Madeleine L'Engle, 'Fewmets!' (which are dragon droppings)

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: GUEST,Wesley S
Date: 27 Nov 05 - 05:50 PM

Pickles !

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: Peace
Date: 27 Nov 05 - 06:42 PM

Sugar.

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 27 Nov 05 - 06:46 PM

Sugar? That's as insulting as saying someone is "nice." :-)

Jerry

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: Deda
Date: 27 Nov 05 - 07:19 PM

Well push me down and call me shorty!

And a personal favorite, which my best-high-school-firend and I made up because we observed that it was a word that embarrassed so many people:

"Oh, BOSOM!"

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: Peace
Date: 27 Nov 05 - 07:20 PM

Balderdash.

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: Peace
Date: 27 Nov 05 - 07:22 PM

I read a good one many years back. Instead of calling someone a b######, the author said that "He was begat on a duchess by a head waiter."

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 27 Nov 05 - 07:36 PM

Slightly off-subject, but I had a friend who used to say "He needs a sound thrashing about the head and ears." That always cracked me up... "About?" And if you give someone a sound thrashing about the head, wouldn't you thrash the ears too, or is that a separate punishment.

But then, perhaps I was being too literal. I still like the ring of it though. And I meet people from time who definitely need a sound thrashing about the head and ears.

Jerry

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: JennieG
Date: 27 Nov 05 - 07:53 PM

My mother used to say "sugarmagundy" instead of s**t.

And a great insult was to call someone "dillbrain" ("dillbry" for short!

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: JennyO
Date: 27 Nov 05 - 10:09 PM

"Well love me tender and call me Elvis!"

Back to the curses for a minute -

"May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits!"

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: pdq
Date: 27 Nov 05 - 10:17 PM

"May the piss of a thousand camels wash through your mouth!"

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: Chip2447
Date: 27 Nov 05 - 11:35 PM

When Dad gets bent out of shape about something you are likely to hear a great bellowing, "FART IN A BUCKET"

Chip2447

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: JennieG
Date: 27 Nov 05 - 11:53 PM

May your chooks turn into emus and kick your dunny down.

Cheers
Jennie

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: Cluin
Date: 28 Nov 05 - 12:53 AM

Or one in français:   Flocon de maïs!

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: GUEST,Ingrid Frances Stark
Date: 28 Nov 05 - 02:52 AM

Fnork!
Freznep!
Heavens to Murgatroyd! (from Gilbert and Sullivan's "Ruddigore", via my father.)
Farble!

and two of my favorite curses:

Thou pig! Thou dog! Thou accursed of Allah! Thou son of a three-legged syphilitic camel!

(for inept drivers:) May your transmission fall out on the Dan Ryan, outbound, on a Friday afternoon! (The Dan Ryan expressway is famous in Chicago for its traffic jams.)

To jaywalkers: You wanna be a hood ornament?!?

Ingrid

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: JennyO
Date: 28 Nov 05 - 07:29 AM

Speaking of "Heavens to Murgatroyd", Snagglepuss used to say "Heavens to Murgatroyd - heavens to Betsy, even!"

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: Cluin
Date: 28 Nov 05 - 08:19 AM

Great Caesar's Ghost! It's the Shakespearean Insult Generator.

My finger in thine eye, thou pribbling, pox-marked bum-bailey!

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: JennyO
Date: 28 Nov 05 - 08:51 AM

Fie upon thee, thou beslubbering, codpiece sniffin malt-worm!

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: JennyO
Date: 28 Nov 05 - 09:43 AM

Mudcat was hanging for a while there, and I didn't know my post went the first time - I liked that Shakespearean insult, but probably not enough to say it twice!

Might as well do another one -

Remove thine ass hence, thou qualling, clapper-clawed flap-dragon!

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Nov 05 - 10:16 AM

O frass!

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: Don Firth
Date: 28 Nov 05 - 03:11 PM

Quaker curse:   "When thou returnest to thy home, may thy mother run out from under thy porch and bite thee!"

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: frogprince
Date: 28 Nov 05 - 03:20 PM

No cuss words here, but this proves you can get pretty gross without 'em. It was written somewhere over 35 years ago by an Italian from Brooklyn I knew.
   An arabic curse: May a herd of a thousand camels urinate
          in the womb of your beloved on the night of your
          bethrothel.

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: GLoux
Date: 28 Nov 05 - 04:28 PM

You're full of soup...

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: Celtaddict
Date: 28 Nov 05 - 06:40 PM

My daughter's favorite: "Cheese and rice!"

We did not allow any name calling so the kids were pretty creative. "Crouton" and "diphthong" were popular pejoratives, and when you are called a "murmuring diphthong" you know you have been seriously insulted!

A former boyfriend used to say "Dadblasted fratterap!"

I've always liked "brimstone and gall!"

GUEST of 10:16: It never occurred to me to use "frass" as G-rated swearing, but how appropriate!
For those who do not recognize the term, it is insect droppings.
Butterfly frass! I have a new favorite!

Subject: RE: BS: G rated swear words
From: KT
Date: 28 Nov 05 - 09:54 PM

Celtaddict, when you get tired of frass, here's another for you, scat!

We didn't allow name calling either, so our once upon a time, frustrated three year old called his little brother, (between clenched teeth............."Why ....you ...little............................SNICKERDOODLE!!!!!" It stuck.