BS: Saved by the Music!

Subject: BS: Saved by the Music!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Sep 04 - 11:46 AM

Of all the poems ever penned by William McGonagall, this is one of the strangest...and so appropriate for perusal by members of Mudcat Cafe! Read it and marvel. Consider also the great harm that might have been done to McGonagall's creativity and his muse if the words "dismay" and "delay" had been deleted from the English language prior to his birth and his subsequent ascent to poetic grandeur...

Ahem ***

SAVED BY MUSIC
by William McGonagall

At on time, in America, many years ago,
Large gray wolves wont to wander to and fro;
And from the farm yards they carried pigs and calves away,
Which they devoured ravenously, without dismay.

But, as the story goes, there was a negro fiddler called old Dick,
Who was invited by a wedding party to give them music,
In the winter time, when the snow lay thick upon the ground,
And the rivers far and near were frozen all around.

So away went Dick to the wedding as fast as he could go,
Walking cautiously along o'er the crisp and crackling snow,
And the path was a narrow one, the greater part of the way
Through a dark forest, which filled his heart with dismay.

And when hurrying onward, not to be late at the festival,
He heard the howl of a wolf, which did his heart appal,
And the howl was answered, and as the howl came near
Poor Old Dick, fiddle in hand, began to shake with fear.

And as the wolves gathered in packs from far and near,
Old Dick in the crackling bushes did them hear,
And they ran along to keep pace with him,
Then poor Dick began to see the danger he was in.

And every few minutes a wolf would rush past him with a snap,
With a snapping sound like the ring of a steel trap,
And the pack of wolves gathered with terrible rapidity,
So that Dick didn't know whether to stand or flee.

And his only chance, he thought, was to keep them at bay
By preserving the greatest steadiness without dismay,
Until he was out of the forest and on open ground,
Where he thought a place of safety might be found.

He remembered an old hut stood in the clearing,
And towards it he was slowly nearing,
And the hope of reaching it urged him on,
But he felt a trifle dispirited and woe-begone.

And the poor fellow's heart with fear gave a bound,
When he saw the wolves' green eyes glaring all around,
And they rushed at him boldly, one after another,
Snapping as they passed, which to him was great bother.

And Dick sounded his fiddle and tried to turn them back,
And the sound caused the wolves to leap back in a crack,
When Dick took to his heels at full run,
But now poor Dick's danger was only begun:

For the wolves pursued him without delay,
But Dick arrived at the hut in great dismay,
And had just time to get on the roof and play,
And at the strains of the music the wolves felt gay.

And for several hours he sat there in pain,
Knowing if he stopped playing the wolves would be at him again,
But the rage of the wolves abated to the subduing strains,
And at last he was rewarded for all his pains:

For the wedding-party began to weary for some music,
And they all came out to look for old Dick,
And on top of the hut they found him fiddling away,
And they released him from his dangerous position without delay.

Subject: RE: BS: Saved by the Music!
From: Billy the Bus
Date: 02 Sep 04 - 11:57 AM

I'd love to see a snapshot of William McGonagall. He must have a fat fac, for the tongue was always in cheek.

Cheers - Sam

Subject: RE: BS: Saved by the Music!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Sep 04 - 12:05 PM

Good Lord, no, Sam! The man was utterly serious about his poetry. That's what's so incredible about it. Remember, he was living in a very pompous and self-important era when England owned and administered the largest empire in the history of the World, and Englishmen had utter confidence in the innate superiority of the British culture.

Subject: RE: BS: Saved by the Music!
From: Amos
Date: 02 Sep 04 - 12:39 PM

HE was the veritable spirit of his age then, rivalled by none in pomposity and self-importance!!

A

Subject: RE: BS: Saved by the Music!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Sep 04 - 12:49 PM

And then came......Shatner. :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Saved by the Music!
From: Nerd
Date: 02 Sep 04 - 03:58 PM

I love how you'd have to pronounce music to make this poem rhyme: mu-SICK.

Also, the line "old Dick in the crackling bushes" has some potential...

Subject: RE: BS: Saved by the Music!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Sep 04 - 04:06 PM

Yeah. That's what's great about McGonagall. He managed to write topnotch humour without the slightest intention of doing so.

Subject: RE: BS: Saved by the Music!
From: katlaughing
Date: 02 Sep 04 - 09:06 PM

Yer wish is my command, Samdarlin'....piccie of the *poet*; and, a bit about him clickie here.

Thanks, LH!

kat

Subject: RE: BS: Saved by the Music!
From: Amos
Date: 02 Sep 04 - 10:49 PM

Here is all the McGonagall the world should ever have to stand, compliments of the McGonagall Appreciation Society.

Plastic baggie optional.

And in case you think I am overly harsh, here is a sample of his best tragedian style:

'Twas on the 8th of January 1881,
That a terrific gale along the English Channel ran,
And spread death and disaster in its train,
Whereby the "Indian Chief" vessel was tossed on the raging main.

She was driven ashore on the Goodwin Sands,
And tho good captain fearlessly issued his commands,
" Come, my men, try and save the vessel, work with all your might,"
Although the poor sailors on board were in a fearful plight.

They were expecting every minute her hull would give way,
And they, poor souls, felt stricken with dismay,
And the captain and some of the crew clung to the main masts,
Where they were exposed to the wind's cold blasts.

A fierce gale was blowing and the sea ran mountains high,
And the sailors on board heaved many a bitter sigh;
And in the teeth of the storm the lifeboat was rowed bravely
Towards the ship in distress, which was awful to see.

The ship was lifted high on the crest of a wave,
While the sailors tried hard their lives to save,
And implored God to save them from a watery grave,
And through fear some of them began to rave.

The waves were miles long in length,
And the sailors had lost nearly all their strength,
By striving hard their lives to save,
From being drowned in the briny wave....

(snip. SNIP! For the love of God, SNIP!!!)


A

Subject: RE: BS: Saved by the Music!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Sep 04 - 12:20 AM

Yes, it is really quite amazing. The man had unshakeable confidence too. Despite being invited to many a recital by wags who would invite all their friends just to get a good laugh at McGonagall, and supply them with rotten vegetables with which to pelt the poet, McGonagall never lost faith in his muse and seems to have believed that it was God himself who commanded him to WRITE, WRITE, WRITE, and recite! He also acted in Shakespearian plays like Hamlet and MacBeth, playing the aforementioned characters and others. That must have been quite something. If I had a time machine I would go back just to see it for myself.

Subject: RE: BS: Saved by the Music!
From: Amergin
Date: 03 Sep 04 - 12:40 AM

*sniff* it brings a tear to me eye.

Subject: RE: BS: Saved by the Music!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 03 Sep 04 - 11:26 PM

Spike Millgian (of The Goons fame) was a great fan of his!

Subject: RE: BS: Saved by the Music!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 03 Sep 04 - 11:32 PM

Google Image Search of William McGonagall. (Here's one a bit different from what Amos posted).

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Saved by the Music!
From: RangerSteve
Date: 04 Sep 04 - 11:17 AM

So the wolves devoured the pigs "without dismay". Are there carnivores that feel bad about eating other animals? How would we know how they feel?

Subject: RE: BS: Saved by the Music!
From: Amos
Date: 04 Sep 04 - 11:56 AM

And of great interest, here is a sample of one of his crimes in actual process. I would fain have an analyst of penmanship examine this!


A

Subject: RE: BS: Saved by the Music!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Sep 04 - 02:11 PM

I'm glad you're getting into the spirit of this at last, Amos. I was beginning to fear for your sanity...or your gravity...or something like that.

Without the word "dismay", RangerSteve, William McGonagall would have been seriously hampered in presenting his poetic gifts to the World. Kind of like what would happen to George Bush if he didn't know of the word "evil"...

Subject: RE: BS: Saved by the Music!
From: RangerSteve
Date: 04 Sep 04 - 09:20 PM

Yeah, it's with some dismay that I noticed that he used that word a lot in the poem. It caused me some dismay. He could have said that they devoured the pigs without delay. I'm dismayed that he didn't think of that.