BS: How can I discourage cat suitors.....

Subject: BS: How can I discourage cat suitors.....
From: Shanghaiceltic
Date: 24 Mar 05 - 07:20 PM

We have three cats all females. Two are normal (or as normal as cats can be) but one, with the original name of Kitty, is an agrophobic.

This was the result of an unforunate incident 4 years ago. At that time we were living in a 4th floor apartment that had a ledge about 9 inches wide running around the whole building. She used to like to go out walking the ledge at nights.

One night she dissapeared, two days later after much searching we found her on the second floor roof garden of the apartment block. Alive and physically unhurt but probably traumatised.

Since we moved to our own house with a garden she has rarely ventured past the patio doors let alone the porch and the garden holds unseen terrors for her.

Trouble is over the last 6 months a neighbours rather large tom started to visit and look throught the patio doors. Kittey and 'Tom' sit there staring into each others limpid eyes for hours a day.

Just below our bedroom window on the second floor we have the compressor/pump unit for our air conditioning. Our other two cats like to sun themselves on it. They either get on by jumping out of the bedroom window or leaping across from the balcony of the other bedroom.

Now Kitty likes to sit in our bedroom window bay and watch the people and traffic outside, she also gets a good view of the fish in the pond.

Tom has now taken to sitting on the compressor housing and Kitty sits inside. They are obviously smitten kittens.

Trouble is Tom has also taken to calling at 3 a.m. and serenading Kitty. I would not mind if he could hold a nice serenade tune like 'O sol miaow' or 'Let me into your garden miawed' or even 'I only have mice for you' but the bastard cannot sing. Instead we get this bloody howling. Now that might be music to Kitty's ears but not to ours. As she cannot clap she sort of boxes the window with her paws in appreciation, she also offers a heart felt 'Miaaaaow '. But being a well brought up cat she has never thrown her collar's on his stage.

Even if we open the window she won't go out and leave us in peace. I have stood there half naked at 3 a.m. hissing at Tom to hiss off and leave our virginal feline alone. Not a pretty sight, me that is.

Nothing seems to discourage Tom and I am getting sleepless nights with his regular serenades.

Mimi our No.1 cat has given him a good biffing but he will not cease his nightly serenades.

Any suggestions of how to stop this feline lothario calling.

Subject: RE: BS: How can I discourage cat suitors.....
From: freda underhill
Date: 24 Mar 05 - 07:24 PM

I have a beautiful cat, Deli, who has an unwanted suitor, Pody. I have applauded his arias with a well placed bucket of water now and then, it seems to do the trick.

Subject: RE: BS: How can I discourage cat suitors.....
From: SINSULL
Date: 24 Mar 05 - 07:26 PM

The ultimate cat weapon is water. I have a mister for plants that squirts a harmless but effective jet stream. All I have to do is pick it up and my moggies respond. Try spritzing the lothario every time he shows up. He will get the message.

Subject: RE: BS: How can I discourage cat suitors.....
From: kendall
Date: 24 Mar 05 - 08:14 PM

Seems pretty simple to me, spay them.

Subject: RE: BS: How can I discourage cat suitors.....
From: Shanghaiceltic
Date: 24 Mar 05 - 08:22 PM

Kitty 'as been done. I have not tried to pick up Tom and check but when he is walking/running away he displays a pair of rather large ah! hem! as the Chinese put it 'eggs'.

Maybe Kitty knows it is Easter???

Subject: RE: BS: How can I discourage cat suitors.....
From: Gurney
Date: 24 Mar 05 - 08:49 PM

Water. All tomcats are familiar with hoses, the tomcats' worst enemy. After traffic.

Subject: RE: BS: How can I discourage cat suitors.....
From: robomatic
Date: 24 Mar 05 - 10:02 PM

You dont' know a kid with a super-soaker?

Subject: RE: BS: How can I discourage cat suitors.....
From: LadyJean
Date: 25 Mar 05 - 12:06 AM

My Mr. Fitz, who is currently sitting at my feet, looking expectantly at me, was snipped when he was a young cat. But they left the, well the bag, so he looks like an intact tom. It was a happy day when I cancelled his subscription to Sprayboy magazine. He was the original Fitz the Spritz.
He leaves my two females alone. But I had a male who kept trying to mate with Musetta. He hadn't had the equipment for years, but he kept trying. It was nice somebody had some fun in my bed.
All this having been said, could you borrow a dog. Our feline femme fatale, Mrs. Finn McCool, had a suitor who used to stop by at night. Until the house painter left his dog in our yard overnight. (It's a long story.) The dog chased the cat out of the yard and across two neighbor's yards, with my oh, so dignified silver haired mother standing ont he back porch, in her nightie, throwing plaster rubble at them. But the cat didn't come back.

Subject: RE: BS: How can I discourage cat suitors.....
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 25 Mar 05 - 12:08 AM

Lemme 2nd... supersoaker!

I'll loan ya one of mine if ya need...

Subject: RE: BS: How can I discourage cat suitors.....
From: open mike
Date: 25 Mar 05 - 12:44 AM

i have heard that lion poop from the zoo may discourage deer from eating the garden--perhaps a similar repellant from a cat enemy would do the trick for Romeo....wolf scat? panther poo? amybe a pet pangolin would do the trick?!

Subject: RE: BS: How can I discourage cat suitors.....
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 25 Mar 05 - 04:13 PM

If the ladies have been spayed the fellas will give up after hanging around a bit, once they get the message that there's nothing doing.

In the meantime what's the problem? Visiting cats make good company. What's a bit of spraying and smelling between friends anyway? We probably smell worse to the cats than they do to us, and they put up with it. And, as folksingers, are we that entitled to complain about other creatures singing out of tune from time to time?

Subject: RE: BS: How can I discourage cat suitors.....
From: Alaska Mike
Date: 25 Mar 05 - 04:31 PM

Wolf Urine works pretty well. You won't have any dogs coming around either, and your own cats will stay inside.

Subject: RE: BS: How can I discourage cat suitors.....
From: Once Famous
Date: 25 Mar 05 - 05:16 PM

Put little strap on dildos on your cats.

The male cats will think they are dikes and will just want to watch.

Subject: RE: BS: How can I discourage cat suitors.....
From: Mr Red
Date: 25 Mar 05 - 05:44 PM

The RSPCA (UK animal charity) reckon water is OK, so get those kiddies' guns loaded...........

Subject: RE: BS: How can I discourage cat suitors.....
From: Scoville
Date: 25 Mar 05 - 06:45 PM

If you're really gung-ho, you can try live-trapping the little stinker and taking him to the shelter. I've been trying to do that for ages with the orange tom that kept spraying our car tires and garbage cans.

If you're not feeling up to that, I second the thought of either keeping the hose handy or borrowing a dog. Tom has left the premises permanently since he discovered that we had a dog (the dog absolutely adores cats--likes to lick them--but he didn't know that).

Subject: RE: BS: How can I discourage cat suitors.....
From: Peace
Date: 25 Mar 05 - 08:43 PM

Put a little Keen's mustard just beneath his tail.

Subject: RE: BS: How can I discourage cat suitors.....
From: Once Famous
Date: 25 Mar 05 - 09:19 PM

Why not grey poupon? Why does Keen's work better?

How about good old French's, like what's used on a Chicago style hot dog?

Subject: RE: BS: How can I discourage cat suitors.....
From: GUEST
Date: 25 Mar 05 - 11:29 PM

A shotgun will do the trick.