BS: High school Hi Jinks?

Subject: BS: High school Hi Jinks?
From: Deckman
Date: 05 Apr 05 - 11:07 PM

Yesterday I was blessed by a visit from a childhood friend. "Gordy" and I grew up throwing rocks at each since we were six. Naturally we started telling stories on each other. He reminded me of the time that we almost caused "Bessie Carson's" nervous breakdown, in early high school:

Our classroom was ground level of the three story building. Every morning, Ms. Carson would sit at her desk up front and take the attendence roll. All absentees would receive a special card. After she took roll, she would leave the classroom, carry the "special cards" to the office, stop in the boiler room for a quick cigarrette, and return to the class.

One morning Gordy and I organized all the boys. As Bessie left the room, we all leaped out the windows and hid outside. When she returned she was greeted with a classroom of girls. She shook her head and sat down and made out all new absentee slips.

When she left the classroom to carry these new absentee slips to the office (and have another cigarrette) all us boys climbed back into the room through the ground level windows and were sitting at our desks when she returned.

Shortly after that learning experience, Gordy and I were sent to two different room and teachers!

How about you ... any stories? CHEERS, Bob

Subject: RE: BS: High school Hi Jinks?
From: Peace
Date: 06 Apr 05 - 12:01 AM

I bought a piece of cement dog doo-doo, and it looked so much like the real thing that the fellow sitting beside me stared at it with his mouth and eyes wide open. He took it from my hand and went to Mr Jousse's chair, put the fake stool there and returned to his seat. I was on my way to retrieve the artifact when Mr Jousse entered the Grade 9 class. He was extremely displeased with the pile of poo-poo on his chair and he asked WHO it belonged to. Very reluctantly I raised my hand. He said while rubbing his forehead, "Murdoch, not you AGAIN." He didn't tell me, he simply pointed to the door. He'd meant for me to go to the Principal's office, but I was wise enough to interpret the gesture as a simple 'leave the room'. About a half hour later he came into the washroom and caught me smoking. The day went downhill from there. As far as I know, he still has the doo-doo. Of course, this was back in 1961 0r 1962, so it's possible he has passed on by now.

Incidentally, Mr Jousse (I am pretty sure) helped arrange a scholarship for me to go to gymnastic camp that summer. He was a wonderful teacher and wonderful person. I will never forget him.

Subject: RE: BS: High school Hi Jinks?
From: Deckman
Date: 06 Apr 05 - 12:12 AM

Brucie ... Let's see if I've got this right. You gave him a pile of shit and he helped you with scholorship? Sounds about right to me! Bob

Subject: RE: BS: High school Hi Jinks?
From: Peace
Date: 06 Apr 05 - 12:20 AM

A'wot I said. He was a heckuva teacher and a heckuva person. Changed my life in many ways, all for the good.

Subject: RE: BS: High school Hi Jinks?
From: LadyJean
Date: 06 Apr 05 - 01:35 AM

The bio teacher was a Brit. One day she told the class that the average IQ in the U.S. was 110, while the average IQ in Great Britain was 98 "Probably because we imported so many Irish."
(True. It would be much lower if they hadn't.)
I purchased a St. Patrick's Day Card that proclaimed the recipient an honorary Irishman. The entire class signed it, and it was presented with some ceremony on the appropriate day.

This same lady gave us the offspring of her siamese cat and a gray and white tom about town. When he came of age, she asked if we were going to have him castrated. When I said we were, she asked for his testicles.
It just seemed right to gift wrap the little jar, and include a gift card from the cat.

Subject: RE: BS: High school Hi Jinks?
From: Azizi
Date: 06 Apr 05 - 05:35 PM

The very first time I kissed a boy was on the back of the bus during the 6th grade field trip from our school in Atlantic City, New Jersey to New York City.

[Hey, I was a late bloomer!]

Nothing would have happened if I hadn't overslept. Because I arrived so late, I had to sit in the back of the bus with all the 'bad' kids-the ones who always got in trouble. I was a goody two shoes bookworm student and NEVER got in trouble in school or home. But my reputation was to be forever changed that day.

Prior to the leased bus pulling out, our teacher Mr. Usury [who was known as Mr. Usury. Toilet Flushery] made this big deal about students behaving on the bus. He kept repeating that he especially didn't want any smooching in the back of the bus. Maybe because it was so early in the morning things were cool on the way up to New York City.

So we did the regular New York City tour-the Empire City Building, the Statue of Liberty and more. Before the bus left New York City,
Mr Usury repeated his admonitions that we should behave like good little girls and boys and he didn't want to see any smooching on the back of the bus-or else! It was a long 3 hour trip. It was getting dark and most of the kids on the bus were sleeping.

So there I sat squeezed next to two boys that were probably alot like Brucie...

Way back then I really didn't know what 'smooching' was. But one of the boys did and I guess the other one did too because he's the one who started kissing the girl sitting next to him. So Alonzo had to kiss me, and I guess I kissed him back. And as we exchanged wet yucky kisses I wondered where the stars & fireworks were that books said went with kissing.

Of course, some goody two shoes book worm girl alerted Mr. Usury Toilet Flushery what was going on. He walked to the back of the bus and singled out me saying he could have expected this of the others on the back seat of the bus but not me...I was totally embarrassed, but it seemed like Mr. Usury was enjoying himself. I think he planted that idea just to catch kids in the act of kissing...

Well maybe not.

Later the back of the bus smoochers were punished by being sent to the principal's office while the rest of the 6th grade class' end of the year party. That was the first time I had EVER been sent to the office in all my years of schooling.

But I guess it was worth it. The evening of the bus trip, when I got home, the first thing I did was go upstairs by myself. I stood in front of the mirrow to see if I looked different. Nope, it was the same me. But I felt as though I was different. For I had kissed a boy.

And I remembered that night laying in bed chanting over & over again to myself in a singsong smiley voice: "No smoochin in the back of the bus. No smoochin in the back of the bus. No smoochin in the back of the bus Hey!!"


Azizi

Subject: RE: BS: High school Hi Jinks?
From: Once Famous
Date: 06 Apr 05 - 05:53 PM

Not a high school, but an 8th grade jr. high story that is so wonderfully true.

We had a substitute teacher and when she turned her back kids would throw spitballs at each other or shoot them at each other using a straw.

I had taken about 5 or 6 complete sheets of notebok paper and got them all in my mouth completely saturated. when she turned around, I heaved the whole baseball size wad at a kid and missed him. It hit the wall under a baseboard heater with a loud WHAP and broke up and stuck.

I was sent to the principals office.

Something like 6 years later, now as college kids, we went back to visit favorite jr. high teachers, and lo and behold, there was still a good chunk of that spitball still stuck to the wall just under the baseboard heater.

Have a nice dinner.

Subject: RE: BS: High school Hi Jinks?
From: GUEST,*Laura*
Date: 06 Apr 05 - 06:24 PM

We didn't quite pull this off but almost (only last year) ......

He was one of those teachers who never has any control and we did loads of little tricks and stuff, but one time we were going to all sit in complete silence and stare at him. We weren't going to talk or answer questions or do anything, just all sit completely still and in complete silence and stare. That would've been great as he was used to us lobbing blu-tack across the room etc.
Didn't quite work though - just never got sorted properly.

xLx

Subject: RE: BS: High school Hi Jinks?
From: Ebbie
Date: 06 Apr 05 - 07:33 PM

Until I was almost 14 years old, we lived in a large house on a farm 2 1/2 miles out of town. As an Amish family we had horses of all kinds (my father was a horse trainer): draft horses, riding horses, trotting/driving horses so of course we had wagons, buckboards, spring wagons, carts and buggies, both 'double' buggies and 'single' buggies.

One year at Hallowe'en some high school boys drove out and stealthily maneuvered a single buggy out of our buggy shed and pulled it to town where they hoisted it on top of the main high school building. According to their account it wasn't an easy feat and they spent most of the night on the job.

I don't know many of the particulars but I know that the high school principal was mortified and came out to the farm hmself to apologize. My father thought the whole thing was very funny and he got a lot of mileage at the boys having to lower it to the ground and deliver it sheepishly home again.

Oh yes- a picture of it riding high in its glory was in the paper.

Subject: RE: BS: High school Hi Jinks?
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Apr 05 - 07:53 PM

We put clear chemical indicators in the urinals. One young freshman came running out, screaming "I'm peeing blue!"

Another time we put a piece of rubber balloon over the end of the mouthpiece of the Sousaphone. This made is VERY difficult to get any sound out of the thing and drove the band director nuts.

Another band trick was to loosed the clamp that held the reed on a clarinet or saxophone mouthpiece. Not a lot, mind you. That too drove the band director over the wall.

Come to think of it, I remember that some guys horsing around in the bandroom after school broke his expanding baton. The next morning, he did a particularily violent motion with it and the front half flew across the room, barely missing the Third Trombonist.

Subject: RE: BS: High school Hi Jinks?
From: Chris Green
Date: 06 Apr 05 - 07:54 PM

We had a great Home Ec teacher who specialised in spoonerisms. She was fitting a particularly buxom sixth-form girl in a bodice for the school production of "Oliver" and came out with the wonderful line "Oh dear! This is a bit of a tit fight, isn't it?"

Subject: RE: BS: High school Hi Jinks?
From: Chris Green
Date: 06 Apr 05 - 07:56 PM

She also told our class that the best place to get felt was a small shop in Coventry city centre. I assume she was talking about the material...

Subject: RE: BS: High school Hi Jinks?
From: GUEST,Mrr
Date: 07 Apr 05 - 09:19 AM

I didn't go to American high school (thanking my luck again)... but one year in German class I used my middle name when I filled out the card about who we are and what our parents did and so on, and apparently it took the teachers almost a whole trimester to figure out why the troublemaker in most other classes wasn't a problem in German class while the one who was so troublesome in German class wasn't an issue elsewhere... and one year we had a horrible History/Geography teacher who treated us like little kids (she had been an elementary school teacher and apparently didn't know that we were used to being called Monsieur and Mademoiselle (last name) with the Vous (formal) form, and instead called us Tu (informal form) and used our first names, very rude, and the one African in the class acted like he'd just come from a village and used only very African French with her, which allowed him to call HER "tu" which was a howl - she never did catch on, I don't think she ever thought to question it...

Subject: RE: BS: High school Hi Jinks?
From: Crystal
Date: 07 Apr 05 - 09:48 AM

Hmmm, in my A level chemistry class we were a bit of a handful. We made plastic slime one lesson (it was supposed to teach us about the properties of polymers or somthing). It was a bit dull until somone discovered the floursecent dyes, whereupon we coloured our slime and threw it out of the window (as you do). When we were stopped at doing this we threw it at the ceiling insted.

Subject: RE: BS: High school Hi Jinks?
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Apr 05 - 10:47 AM

Speaking of chemistry -- on my last day of high school exams I had my physics exam. It was an open book test, so the teacher left to do other things. At the end, only four of us -- Dave, Bob, Warren, and myself -- were left.

The physics teacher also taught chemistry. And he left the door to the chemical storeroom unlocked. This is not a good idea when there are four bright minds around.

We took a 1 liter beaker and filled it with a mix of chemicals: powdered aluminum, potassium perchlorate, a dash of sulphur, a soupcon of barium nitrate for color, things like that. And a healthy bit of powdered magnesium, too.

So Dave set off to the (dry) creekbed in the park that bordered the schoolgrounds, a meter of magnesium ribbon in one hand in The Beaker in the other.

He dumped the contents of The Beaker in a dry hole in the limestone of the creekbed, stuck in the magnesium ribbon, lit it, and moved smartly away.

No explosion of course, because the mixture was unconfined. But we got a LOVELY mushroom cloud effect up to a couple hundred feet, the police sent a car or two around to investigate, and we finished high school if not with a bang the certainly not with a whimper.

Subject: RE: BS: High school Hi Jinks?
From: Bill D
Date: 07 Apr 05 - 11:44 AM

CaC₂ + H₂O + random items from chemistry shelves = grey, gritty foam which rises like cement merangue from beaker and flows over desk and onto floor. Mr Gobel chooses that moment to saunter down the asile.

"What's this?"

"Don't know...I think the beaker must not have been clean."

"Well...better get this cleaned up..."

"Yes sir..."

Of course he knew!

Subject: RE: BS: High school Hi Jinks?
From: Metchosin
Date: 07 Apr 05 - 11:45 AM

I was bad, but my husband topped me. When he was in Junior High, he and a group of other young louts were hanging about in front of the school contemplating a large, out of place rock, that was lying on the ground.

They couldn't agree upon how it had come to be there, when my husband announced that it had obviously fallen from the sky and should be returned from where it had come. He scooped it up and flung it backwards over his head, in a large arc that cleared the parapet of the school, fully expecting to hear the loud thump of its landing on the flat roof.

Curiously instead, the auditory evidence of its landing was the crash of breaking glass, whereupon logic ensued and they moved quickly and quietly away from the scene of the crime. He never heard anything more of the event for 25 years.

Then one day, when he was working with a civil engineering tech, who had attended school with him, as they reminisced about ancient times, Dan the tech, mentioned an odd thing that had happened to him one lunch hour, when he was working on a project in the drafting room. The dreaded Mr. Bagshaw (not well loved in those parts) was seated at his desk, eating his sandwich, when lo and behold, a large rock plummeted through the skylight above him and landed squarely on the desk before him with a resounding thump.

Mr. Bagshaw sat transfixed for a moment, his face a deathly white, then sprang from his seat and ran out of the room. That was Dan's end of the mystery of ancient times. My husband expressed amazement, but still did not own up to being the perpetrator.

Subject: RE: BS: High school Hi Jinks?
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Apr 05 - 12:18 PM

Small (3" reel) tape recorders were just coming in. And the band went off on the annual Band Trip -- train all the way to Kansas City, clear across Missouri.

And inside the knitting bag of one of our group was concealed her brand new, battery operated, tape recorder.

I was sitting with the group, talking, when a young woman -- call her Shirley -- came running up and plopped into my lap. Shirley said the nicest things, and we all knew that she was kidding around. When Shirley landed, however, the tape recorder had been flicked into "record."

After a few minutes, someone reached into the knitting and turned the machine off with an audible "click." Shirley was HORRIFIED when we played some of her statements back to her, and nearly fainted when we said that we were going to play them at the annual Band Banquet.

We didn't. But the look on her face was truly priceless!