BS: Cannon Balls, any jokes?

Subject: BS: Cannon Balls, any jokes?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 01:22 PM

Sorry Joe, couldn't resist any longer ;)
George Papavgeris does a smashing song about cannon balls, but that's not a joke.

G.

Subject: RE: BS: Cannon Balls, any jokes?
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 01:34 PM

Heavy, man. But cannon balls get round, you know? You can count on them to take a powder.

Subject: RE: BS: Cannon Balls, any jokes?
From: Amos
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 02:17 PM

Jock:

What a weisenheimer. I suppose "canine balls" is next? And then Canon Bulls, the papal variety? And Canned Imbos? Caned Bimbos? Canny Belles? It is clear you are just having so much fun...


A

Subject: RE: BS: Cannon Balls, any jokes?
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 02:27 PM

Well, like they say, it takes balls to shoot a cannon!

Subject: RE: BS: Cannon Balls, any jokes?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 02:28 PM

That's what the Archbishop said!
G

Amos I'm pun tart, like you're a musical tart ;)

Subject: RE: BS: Cannon Balls, any jokes?
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 02:32 PM

Phils Ochs wrote a song about canons....

Subject: RE: BS: Cannon Balls, any jokes?
From: Amos
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 02:48 PM

I suppose all those forced into the paths of orthodox religions consider themselves so much canon fodder. They are left with no choice but to ask, "What's the Canon, Fadder?".



A

Subject: RE: BS: Cannon Balls, any jokes?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 03:10 PM

Balls to the Canon, he should be fired. [let go]
G.

Subject: RE: BS: Cannon Balls, any jokes?
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 03:14 PM

"Surgeon, surgeon! Me privates hurt something terrible!"
"Well young sailor, it looks like you have cannon balls."

Subject: RE: BS: Cannon Balls, any jokes?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 05:16 PM

For they were large balls!
Balls as heavy as lead!
With a dextrous twist of his muscular wrist
He'd sling 'em right over his head!
For they were large balls!
Balls as heavy as lead!

Come to think of it there are a lot of "broadside" songs that might be posted to this thread.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Cannon Balls, any jokes?
From: Gulliver
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 09:42 PM

What's the difference between a truckload of cannon balls and a truck load of dead babies?


















You can unload one of them with a pitchfork.

Subject: RE: BS: Cannon Balls, any jokes?
From: Severn
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 09:56 PM

Is this going descand into a mere Wah-Bashing session? This is Adderly degrading! Excuse me while I go to the powder room.....

Subject: RE: BS: Cannon Balls, any jokes?
From: Peace
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 09:57 PM

Friend of mine got a job with the circus as a human cannonball. He was hired and fired in the same day.

Subject: RE: BS: Cannon Balls, any jokes?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 05 Apr 07 - 09:54 AM

Then there's the old navy expression "Son of a gun":

When in port, and with the crew restricted to the ship for any extended period of time, wives and ladies of easy virtue often were allowed to live aboard along with the crew. Infrequently, but not uncommonly, children were born aboard, and a convenient place for this was between guns on the gun deck. If the child's father was unknown, they were entered in the ship's log as "son of a gun".

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Cannon Balls, any jokes?
From: mack/misophist
Date: 05 Apr 07 - 12:09 PM

At the battle of First Manassas. some federal troops were tn high good humour as they marched up to the line. The Confederate artillary was on the other side of a broad, low hill and their overshots passed the top and rolled down to the road the federals were using. One young officer shouted that he was going to get a souvenir before it was too late (before the war was won, that is). So he ran over and planted his foot in front of a ball that was rolling at a rate of about 10 miles an hour. It took his foot off. I guess the joke was on him.



Sorry. Sometimes I have a grim sense of humour.

Subject: RE: BS: Cannon Balls, any jokes?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 05 Apr 07 - 12:41 PM

Severn-

Someone needs to acknowledge your brilliance. "Wah-Bashing" indeed!

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Cannon Balls, any jokes?
From: Joe_F
Date: 05 Apr 07 - 11:31 PM

Once upon a time, there was a rout, and one of the soldiers was hit in the leg by a cannon ball. So he yelled to a running soldier, Help me, buddy, my leg is shot off. The running man stopped and picked him up. Another cannon ball flew by and knocked off the head of the man he was carrying. After a while, a third soldier saw them and yelled, What the hell are you carrying that headless corpse for? The running man looked down and said, I'll be damned, he said it was his leg.

Subject: RE: BS: Cannon Balls, any jokes?
From: Mr Red
Date: 06 Apr 07 - 05:54 PM

The Scots at Culloden used granite cannon balls

which - unless anyone can furnish a prior reference - is the earliest documented case of

Rock & Roll........

Subject: RE: BS: Cannon Balls, any jokes?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 06 Apr 07 - 08:34 PM

Mr. Red-

Granite cannon balls? Ridiculous!

It is more likely that the British General observed as these cannon balls were flying past his nose that they could be taken for granted.

Charley Noble, who takes nothing for granted