BS: When things go wrong....

Subject: BS: When things go wrong....
From: gnu
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 03:45 PM

When I moved in to this house next door to Mum, I immediately did a number of things. One was having a plumber replace a hose bib with a frost free bib and a new shutoff valve as the old valve was leaking when I opened it. I paid the man. I shut the valve. I opened the valve on the bib. Never used it.

I had a wall mounted garden hose reel in the garage and used to use it for an electrical cord. Brought it with me from my old house.

My buddy is a hoser so I got him to make me a lead hose from the bib to the reel as the existing one wasn't long enough.

I bought a new fancy garden hose watering revoler with a shitload of choices of flow last fall and retired the old one.

Well, Mum's hose bib makes a squeaky noise and I'd like to be able to wash her car VERY early in the morning during hot summer weather without possibly disturbing her. I rigged up a mount on my back steps and installed the works.

So... I have just closed the shutoff bib valve in the cellar because the vaccum breaker on the bib leaks, the reel leaks, the female fitting on the hose my buddy made leaks, and the old revolver leaks... AND... I AM THOROUGHY PISSED OFF!!

And don't anyone DARE tell me to get a breaker kit and F*** around with that. I'll shove 50' of garden hose up... did I mention I was pissed off? Arrrrgggghhhhhhhh!

I just got hosed eh?

Subject: RE: BS: When things go wrong....
From: Arthur_itus
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 03:50 PM

Nice one Gnu :-)

Subject: RE: BS: When things go wrong....
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 04:03 PM

Yer a flippin' hoser, man, and this proves it! You are sufferin' a flippin' leak and no plummer can fix it and that means, like, one thing. Yer all wet!!! Ha! Ha! Ha! My advise is: have a flippin' beer and ferget about washin' the car. It will rain if ya wait long enough, eh?

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: When things go wrong....
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 04:08 PM

A nearby creek or river is just as good as a hose for washing cars, and you don't have to pay extra on your water bill.

I strongly urge a rock bottom instead of mud, and be careful about the depth.

Subject: RE: BS: When things go wrong....
From: gnu
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 05:11 PM

Matter of fact, I AM a hoser... a certified Aeroquip Hoser. Got my diploma n' all. I was helpin my buddy out when he started his hose business and I went on a course in Tronna. I will never go to Tronna again if I can help it.

As fer the rain, if it rains in yer garage it's a driveway. Drivin in the rain just makes the car dirtier.

Subject: RE: BS: When things go wrong....
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 05:14 PM

Most people don't want to go to Tronna again if they can help it. ;-) I know I don't!

And that makes ya wonder why the hell so many people are there!

Subject: RE: BS: When things go wrong....
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 09:43 PM

And don't anyone DARE tell me to get a breaker kit and F*** around with that

Not me. I had to look it up to find out what a vacuum breaker was.

Not sure if people use them in the UK. The outside bib taps at our house have double check valves built in and I believe that satisfies the regs.

Subject: RE: BS: When things go wrong....
From: Bobert
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 09:48 PM

Like it says in the Bible, gn-ze... Some days you get the hoser and other days the hoser get you... Guess it was yer turn for a hosing...

Sorry...

B;~(

Subject: RE: BS: When things go wrong....
From: catspaw49
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 05:30 AM

I wouldn't mind that too much Bobertz if the gawdamn hoser/bear didn't always suit up!


Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: When things go wrong....
From: Ed T
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 06:03 PM

All jokes aside, I suspect we all know that washing a car in a stream kills fish and could seriously impact fish eggs and fish habitat.

Subject: RE: BS: When things go wrong....
From: Ed T
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 06:03 PM

All jokes aside, I suspect we all know that washing a car in a stream kills fish and could seriously impact fish eggs and fish fish habitat.

Subject: RE: BS: When things go wrong....
From: gnu
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 06:12 PM

Used Mum's hose for this... fom another thread...

Now, anyone care to guess how much shit there is in an adolescent american robin with a mass of approx 50g? I actually know the answer as I conducted an experiment by accident. Last night, after I put Mum's "stuff" away in her garage, I closed the overhead door which I leave open from mid-afternoon on. Yup, you already know the answer, don't you? A SHITLOAD!

I extracated the car at 1PM and parked in the driveway. As I went to collect Mum for her daily walk at the shops I saw it. Didn't see it when I put the car away yesterday afternoon. 24 on the car. 3 on the generator, one on her patio chair seat (part of the stuff)... and I didn't look elsewhere. I was seriously taken aback! That little robin deposited more on her car than she did to hold it for sale!

Gee, I never thought to take pics. >;-)

PS Spaw? Suit up? Did I miss sommat?

Subject: RE: BS: When things go wrong....
From: SINSULL
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 06:43 PM

This is the sort of stuff that inspired "Captain Kendall and the Kitchen".

"The Gnu Who Knew How To Make Robins Poo"

It's a start.

Subject: RE: BS: When things go wrong....
From: gnu
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 06:59 PM

Huh? Nahhhh... I could never emulate The Cap'n unless I stole his material.

Subject: RE: BS: When things go wrong....
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 07:16 PM

"The man who gnu too much."

What a plot for a James Bond flick!

Gnu, the biological name for a robin is "Turdus Migratorius." Now you know why.

Subject: RE: BS: When things go wrong....
From: gnu
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 07:55 PM

Holy shit... Rap ain't shittin... it really is the taxonomy! Well, this little robin won three and a half stars livin up to his taxonomy... BIG tax!

Sooo, Rapparee, if indeed that is the name you now go by, why should I not simply have my servants place you in the cage with the kittens and allow you to be licked and fluffed to death sloooowly? You underestimate my aversion to cruelty. Hahahahahaha!!!!!!! Die!

But slowly and with kittens.

You might actually enjoy it.

Subject: RE: BS: When things go wrong....
From: olddude
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 08:12 PM

have a beer my brother

Subject: RE: BS: When things go wrong....
From: gnu
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 08:14 PM

a?

Where be ye from?

Subject: RE: BS: When things go wrong....
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 10:16 PM

Would I lie to you? At least about robins?