BS: Battle of Hstings Anniversary

Subject: BS: Battle of Hstings Anniversary
From: Fiolar
Date: 14 Oct 06 - 07:56 AM

Today (October 14th) is the 940th of the Battle of Hastings. I often wonder how history would have turned out if Will1am the Bastard had been defeated.

Subject: RE: BS: Battle of Hstings Anniversary
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Oct 06 - 08:01 AM

King Harold was inspecting his troops on the eve of the Battle of Hastings, chatting with them a bit, trying to raise their morale, that sort of thing.

He went to the swordsmen first, choosing a soldier at random from amongst the ranks. "Do you feel ready for the battle tomorrow?" he asked.

"Oh yes, sire," the swordsman responded eagerly.

"Handy with that thing are you?" Harold asked, indicating the man's sword.

"Reasonably so, sire," the man replied. "Watch." He bent down, picked up a handful of grass, flung it in the air, and waved his sword about. When the grass fell down again, it had been cut into a neat line of soldier figures.

"Good work, man," said Harold, impressed, "and good luck in the battle."

"Thank you, sire," said the soldier.

King Harold proceeded to inspect the pikemen. "Are you looking forward to the battle?" he asked one of their number.

"Yes, sire," the man replied.

"Good with your pike, are you?" the King asked.

"Not bad," the pikeman said. "See that flock of birds?" Harold nodded, and the pike flashed in the soldiers hand. It went sailing through the air, right through the centre of the flock, and when it came down five birds were skewered on it.

"Well done," said Harold, "and good luck in the battle tomorrow."

He then went to the archers, who stood proudly with their longbows, looking intimidating even to someone on their side. "Are you ready for tomorrow's battle?" King Harold asked one bowman.

The man squinted at him a bit, then said, "Good Lord, it's the King! Um, yes I'm ready."

"What can you do with that bow, then?" Harold asked him.

"What? Oh, this thing? I dunno. Someone gave me it yesterday and told me to stay with these people here."

"Well... do you see that barn over there, about twenty yards away?"

The archer peered in the direction of Harold's pointing finger. "Oh yes, I see it," he said at last.

"Do you think you could hit that?"

"I think so." He lined himself up with the barn, grunting with the effort of drawing the bow, and loosed the arrow. It sailed past the barn, five feet too high and ten feet to the left.

"Did I hit it?" he asked.

"Er, yes," said Harold, clapping him on the back. "Well done, and good luck."

Then the King turned to the captain of archery and said in an undertone, "Watch out for that man tomorrow, will you? He'll have somebody's eye out with that thing."

Subject: RE: BS: Battle of Hstings Anniversary
From: Ernest
Date: 14 Oct 06 - 10:20 AM

And the 200th anniversary of the Battle of Jena and Auerstedt (France vs. Prussia 1:0).
So you can sing songs about Boney too today!
Best
Ernest

Subject: RE: BS: Battle of Hstings Anniversary
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Oct 06 - 10:22 AM

Who won? That is, who was deemed the victor, for no one really "wins" in war.

Subject: RE: BS: Battle of Hstings Anniversary
From: Stu
Date: 14 Oct 06 - 11:35 AM

940 years under the Norman Yoke.

Subject: RE: BS: Battle of Hstings Anniversary
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 14 Oct 06 - 01:43 PM

Except Kent. They bypassed Kent, hence the county's motto, "Invicta".

Of course the establishment got us later....

And in 1925 the last vestiges of the Law of Gavelkind were repealed.

Mind you the Romans stuffed us pretty well too, but then they stuffed most people.

Subject: RE: BS: Battle of Hstings Anniversary
From: kendall
Date: 14 Oct 06 - 05:18 PM

I'm not responsible for what my ancestors did.

Subject: RE: BS: Battle of Hstings Anniversary
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Oct 06 - 08:14 PM

Yeah, well, them Normans didn't get Idaho! Not only would the Idaho Legion have wopped their butts good and proper, but the State motto is "Montagnii Semper Liberi" or "Live Free or Die" or "Famous Potatoes", one of them.

Subject: RE: BS: Battle of Hstings Anniversary
From: Stu
Date: 15 Oct 06 - 07:59 AM

"And in 1925 the last vestiges of the Law of Gavelkind were repealed"

900 years on and the bastards were still intent on eroding our way of life.

Subject: RE: BS: Battle of Hstings Anniversary
From: GUEST,Tunesmith
Date: 15 Oct 06 - 11:38 AM

What did the Normans ever do for us?

Subject: RE: BS: Battle of Hstings Anniversary
From: kendall
Date: 15 Oct 06 - 01:45 PM

Well, they got rid of Harold who thought he could lick the Vikings AND the Normans.

Subject: RE: BS: Battle of Hstings Anniversary
From: Peace
Date: 15 Oct 06 - 02:31 PM

What a question, tunesmith. Sheesh. Here ya go:

NORMAN
By John D. Loudermilk
©1961 Acuff-Rose Publ. Inc.

Norman, Oooo, Norman, Oooo
Norman, Norman my love

Jimmy called me on the phone
But I was gone, not at home
'Cause I was out parked all alone
With darlin' Norman

Bill invited me to a show
But I said "no, cannot go
There's a dress that I've got to sew
And wear for Norman"

Norman holds me close to him
Norman kisses me, and then
Norman knows my heart belongs to him, and him, and only him, oh
Norman, Oooo, Norman, Oooo
Norman, Norman my love

Joey asked me for a date
He wanted to take me out to skate
But I told Joey he would have to make
Arrangements with Norman

Norman is my only love
Norman's all I'm thinking of
Norman gives me all his lovin', kissin', huggin', lovey dovin'
Norman, Oooo, Norman, Oooo
Norman, Norman my love

Subject: RE: BS: Battle of Hstings Anniversary
From: Gurney
Date: 16 Oct 06 - 05:42 AM

Fiolar, this forum would be in a Germanic dialect if William had been defeated.
That would wobble the world, eh? The English, Germans, and Americans all speaking the same language.
Wouldn't call them Germans for a start.
Dictionaries would be half the size they are.
There would be no Muttering in the cheap seats.

Of course, the Normans were Vikings who'd settled in France and changed to speaking a form of French.

Subject: RE: BS: Battle of Hstings Anniversary
From: manitas_at_work
Date: 16 Oct 06 - 06:46 AM

I thought it was in a germanic dialect!

Subject: RE: BS: Battle of Hstings Anniversary
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 16 Oct 06 - 10:06 AM

Harold was a Norman anyway - The last Saxon king was Edward the Confessor who had invited Harold to come to the throne. Don't think one Norman would have been much better than another - Unless of course it was Sir Norman from Hull...

:D (tG)

Subject: RE: BS: Battle of Hstings Anniversary
From: GUEST,Penguin Egg
Date: 17 Oct 06 - 05:27 AM

Will the French President apologise to the people of England for King William's behaviour?

Subject: RE: BS: Battle of Hstings Anniversary
From: Grab
Date: 17 Oct 06 - 08:23 AM

Probably the equivalent of Magna Carta a hundred years earlier, and maybe reduced English involvement in the Crusades too. Still, you never know - just because there were a few good kings in a row back then, it doesn't follow that Harold's successor would have been OK.

And on the other hand, we wouldn't have the Domesday Book, nor (for lovers of architecture) many of the greatest English castles.

Graham.

Subject: RE: BS: Battle of Hstings Anniversary
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Oct 06 - 08:49 AM

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but dammit! WHO WON???

Subject: RE: BS: Battle of Hstings Anniversary
From: manitas_at_work
Date: 17 Oct 06 - 10:55 AM

English Heritage and the Battle Chamber of Commerce.