BS: Philosphical (unanswerable questions)

Subject: BS: Philosphical (unanswerable questions)
From: freightdawg
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 08:25 PM

Being somewhat of a philosophical sort, I keep coming across questions that drive me crazy. Things like:

If olive oil comes from olives, what does baby oil come from?

or, this one I just found today-

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, do the authorities consider that a hostage situation?

or,

What is the speed of dark?

If a company ships 5 pound of styrofoam, how do they pack it?

And, if laughter is pronounced "lafter", how come a female child is not called a "dafter."

Awaiting your answers and other ponderous challenges.

Freightdawg

Subject: RE: BS: Philosphical (unanswerable questions)
From: Bill D
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 08:39 PM

I'm afraid this subject had been abused ..umm, done... MANY times under different headings.

Subject: RE: BS: Philosphical (unanswerable questions)
From: Bill D
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 08:50 PM

for example...
http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=26559
http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=37618
http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=44240

(a search on 'driveway' and 'parkway' got me these)

Subject: RE: BS: Philosphical (unanswerable questions)
From: Amos
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 09:47 PM

I note there is nothing unanswerable nor philosophica about any of thesae questions, all iof which are light puns or other sorts of shallow humor.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Philosphical (unanswerable questions)
From: Bill D
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 11:18 PM

well, Amos, I have judged 'maturity' for many years by the time a person quits calling riddles 'jokes'.

Some of those lines are cute, and a few are darned clever....but with the WWW it is hard to avoid reading the same ones 40 times.

If you pick the right phrase, a Google search will get you page after page of stuff like this that is merely copy & paste, with NO credit to the original compiler.

Subject: RE: BS: Philosphical (unanswerable questions)
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 11:43 PM

Bill D,

Isn't it lucky that Mudcat has some truly original punsters, so you can get more than just occasional original laughs! And the wit around here is great (all day I've been chuckling over Amos's droll line about George Bush's inability to speak grammatically, when compared to Kerry: "I like to be kissed when I'm getting fucked.")

Okay, so it isn't highbrow, but it's a very witty application of the line. :)

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Philosphical (unanswerable questions)
From: Once Famous
Date: 22 Apr 04 - 11:45 PM

Here's one:

Ever wonder why people say they are going to take a shit, when in reality, they leave one?

Subject: RE: BS: Philosphical (unanswerable questions)
From: mack/misophist
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 12:08 AM

It you're going to complain about English spelling, blame it all on Jos. Caxton. It's all his fault.

Subject: RE: BS: Philosphical (unanswerable questions)
From: GUEST,freda
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 04:06 AM

Given an infinite number of geeks in an infinite number of Star Trek conventions, would there be at least one with a life?

Is the sky blue?

What will I have for lunch today -- tofu salad or egg salad?

If a monk, living in a monastery, takes a vow of silence, then talks in his sleep, has he broken his vow of silence? If so, who is going to tell on him?

If a man speaks in a forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

If a thing of beauty is a joy forever, why does ugly seem to last so much longer?

Subject: RE: BS: Philosphical (unanswerable questions)
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 04:37 AM

Ugly is in the eye of the beholder, [ get it out with optrex ]
eric

Subject: RE: BS: Philosphical (unanswerable questions)
From: Michael
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 04:50 AM

As the adjacent thread asks; 'Why are computers so infuriating?'

Mike

Subject: RE: BS: Philosphical (unanswerable questions)
From: GUEST
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 05:28 AM

"Is this a question?"

Subject: RE: BS: Philosphical (unanswerable questions)
From: GUEST
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 05:31 AM

"If this is an answer."

Subject: RE: BS: Philosphical (unanswerable questions)
From: Snuffy
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 09:14 AM

My thing of beauty is a joy for less than a minute nowadays

Subject: RE: BS: Philosphical (unanswerable questions)
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 12:06 PM

Why do we call it a blow job?

Subject: RE: BS: Philosphical (unanswerable questions)
From: Bill D
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 12:38 PM

why do we call it a JOB? "The best things in life are free"...If you find it is part of your job description, don't hire on.

Subject: RE: BS: Philosphical (unanswerable questions)
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 01:58 PM

If you pull the wings off a fly would you call it a walk?

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

Subject: RE: BS: Philosphical (unanswerable questions)
From: GUEST,Kaleb
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 02:35 PM

If it's 0 degrees when I go to bed and it's twice as cold when I wake up, what's the temperature?



-Kaleb

Subject: RE: BS: Philosphical (unanswerable questions)
From: RangerSteve
Date: 24 Apr 04 - 06:33 AM

If a woman is talking in a forest and there's no one around to hear her, is she still nagging?

Subject: RE: BS: Philosphical (unanswerable questions)
From: Helen
Date: 24 Apr 04 - 07:39 AM

How is "ghoti" pronounced??? (according to Mark Twain, I think)

Guest Freda, in answer to your question 5 - Yes!   :-)

Ranger Steve, No! :-)

Helen

Subject: RE: BS: Philosphical (unanswerable questions)
From: Peace
Date: 24 Apr 04 - 02:21 PM

Ghoti is pronounced 'fish'.

enouGH=f
wOmen=i
acTIon=sh

Subject: RE: BS: Philosphical (unanswerable questions)
From: Helen
Date: 24 Apr 04 - 05:30 PM

Thanks brucie, I knew someone would know that one. Trouble is I always forget the middle bit. I remember the "gh" sound from tough enough, etc and I remember the "ti" sound, but then my mind goes blank on the "o" sound.

Helen