BS: Post-Vacation Strategies

Subject: BS: Post-Vacation Strategies
From: wysiwyg
Date: 15 Aug 07 - 11:12 AM

We had a long heart-to-heart on the way home from camping vacay, about how to help Hardi's stress level the rest of the year. He outlined which things about camping really do it for him, and it turns now that now that I'm so much fitter, I can incorporate a lot of those into "real life" without too much trouble. The result is that a portakitchen has taken up residence in the van (along with always-loaded camp chairs, etc.), and the electric blanket is all installed in the camper so we can sleep out even though the mountain nights here have already gone chilly.

Do YOU keep vacation alive once it's "over"? What does it for you, and how do you incoporate that in YOUR post-vacay life?

Vacation has become like a second annual New Year's for us-- taking stock, resolutions, etc.

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Post-Vacation Strategies
From: katlaughing
Date: 15 Aug 07 - 11:37 AM

What vacation?

(Sorry, I am grumpy at the moment because Rog does NOT take vacation! Last real one was nine years ago.)

Good for you both!

Subject: RE: BS: Post-Vacation Strategies
From: MMario
Date: 15 Aug 07 - 11:41 AM

I hear you kat - "Vacation" for me means "Susan and Greg let me hide at their place for the weekend"

Subject: RE: BS: Post-Vacation Strategies
From: Wesley S
Date: 15 Aug 07 - 02:02 PM

We've started planning our vacations for next year. We're hoping to make it to Disney World and London.

Subject: RE: BS: Post-Vacation Strategies
From: wysiwyg
Date: 15 Aug 07 - 02:22 PM

OK, next year a MUDCATTER can housesit and petsit while we're gone, for a free vacation. Lots of scenery, many beds to choose from (try them all), wonderful/cheap eats not far...... first come (with references), yer in! We'll even leave yers the instruments!!!

Mmario, doesn't RenFaire count anymore?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Post-Vacation Strategies
From: katlaughing
Date: 15 Aug 07 - 02:23 PM

Thanks, Leo.

rant on:

Thing is I get so frustrated with him. He is the ONLY chief engineer at the station, but it is owned by a huge company which could easily fly someone in to fill in for him. He has two weeks coming to him every year. Since they took over, if you don't use it you lose it and they do NOT pay for any unused days. Does he take one, NO! Does he take any sick days, No! So, this year, I made him promise to take time off to work on the house NOW and he keeps saying he's working on it. He also promised to come with me to CT and maybe the Getaway if we can find cheap enough flights, etc. So, I am hoping...but, I've heard it so many times before, I am losing faith and his boss is an idjit who doesn't know how to manage her employees and managers well. They are moving to a huge new building and refitting the inside of it from the ground up. A lot of that falls on his shoulders, so I know he has a lot going on, BUT he could do better if he took a break, yes? Arrggghhh!

Hi, my name is Kat and I'm married to a workaholic!

rant off

Thanks for listening!

Subject: RE: BS: Post-Vacation Strategies
From: wysiwyg
Date: 15 Aug 07 - 02:25 PM

You go, girl.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Post-Vacation Strategies
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 16 Aug 07 - 01:38 AM

Kat - hide his work pass and phone in sick for him... then chain him to the bed!

I know what it's like to be partner to a workaholic - it's not easy.

As for post vacation strategies - my best one was to not go back to work full time. It's been working reasonably well for me for the last year and it's no coincidence that I've only wanted to kill work colleagues since!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Post-Vacation Strategies
From: katlaughing
Date: 16 Aug 07 - 02:03 AM

Sorry, Liz, what is a work pass? All he has to do is get in his company truck and drive there. If I hid the truck somehow, he'd just take our car! Getting him to call in sick is like trying to clean the Aegean stables without any rivers! And, since we sold the four-poster, I've nothing to tie him to! Just a platform with a mattress on it! Thanks, though! I am about to give up....:-)

Subject: RE: BS: Post-Vacation Strategies
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 16 Aug 07 - 02:25 AM

Suggest tying him to the bed anyway... he might change his mind!! :]

A person of my acquaintance once hid all her partners' lower garments in a bid to make him stay at home rather than attend a sporting fixture.

He went in one of her skirts. Some people you just can't stop.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Post-Vacation Strategies
From: wysiwyg
Date: 16 Aug 07 - 09:54 AM

Seriously, Kat.

Workaholicism as you describe it is a pattern. It can only be broken from the outside, or by health crisis. The pattern is not the person.

I'm fortunate to live in a part of the country where it is still considered part of the spouse's job description to see to their loved one's health. The ladies here trained me well, but the husbands do it for their wives, too.

Another (the Bishop's wife) one smiles and does it this way. "Honey, I've booked us tickets for [insert event]." PERIOD! She gives him enough lead time to make the workplace arrangement he needs to make, and there is no discussion.

The workaholic thing is a pattern that cannot be reasoned with and can only be interrupted or accommodated. I had to do that with Hardi a long time ago. He thanked me for it, once he'd finished sleeping, and has been cooperative with my "strategies" ever since.

It can start with a one-day revolution where you turn off the alarm (or reset all the clocks), call him in sick, and then proudly tell him you did it, once he gets up. It isn't until he's had some down time that he can get some perspective on what he's been doing to himself (first) and those he lives with (second) and those he works with (last).

If you liken it to an illness, which it is, would you want a loved one to stand by and let you plunge a knife into YOUR heart because "it's up to you"?

Workaholicism as you describe it is a pattern. It can only be broken from the outside, or by health crisis. The pattern is not the person.

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Post-Vacation Strategies
From: Mr Happy
Date: 16 Aug 07 - 10:17 AM

I've never really enjoyed long holidays & in the past several years, instead I've had loads of long weekend breaks, mostly going off to Folk gatherings all over the country & always camping.

Me & the chums go camping all the year round at w/ends & Bank Hols, so don't get the kind've withdrawal symptoms lots of you describe to anywhere the same extent.

This lifestyle's a real tonic & I suggest the rest've ye try it.

Subject: RE: BS: Post-Vacation Strategies
From: katlaughing
Date: 16 Aug 07 - 10:40 AM

I know, Susan, that's exactly right. Unfortunately he need no alarm to wake up. His last checkup, with blood-work, was fine, no high bad cholesterol or anthing and he does stop each night and part of each weekend, but it is still a concern to me. He took care of me, but is an island unto himself and doesn't need much of anything from anyone else.

He knows we are going east to see our daughter and grandsons and know I WILL book the flight, etc. and WILL take the time then, so maybe I'll always have to do it like the Bishop's wife you mentioned. This is the first time in all those years I have been healthy enough to want to go on vacation AND that we've had the money to do so. So...I guess I can't blame it all on him.

I had a glimmer of hope last night. The news crew, for the first time ever, ran a live update in the field, without him being there to engineer the whole thing!! I told him he's got to praise those kids a whole bunch today and keep weaning them off!!

Subject: RE: BS: Post-Vacation Strategies
From: MMario
Date: 16 Aug 07 - 10:56 AM

first time in all those years I have been healthy enough to want to go on vacation AND that we've had the money to do so.

*USE* that fact.

Subject: RE: BS: Post-Vacation Strategies
From: wysiwyg
Date: 16 Aug 07 - 03:24 PM

Men love to chase. :~)

Don't forget my free vacay offer! Come anytime!

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Post-Vacation Strategies
From: wysiwyg
Date: 16 Aug 07 - 03:33 PM

I have this image of a couple thousand Mudcatters very gently pulling on Kat to get her unstuck from a tight spot.... sounds of squeaking.... when the POP goes off Rog will be attached too I bet.

Must be the placenta thread put it in my mind. :~)

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Post-Vacation Strategies
From: ClaireBear
Date: 16 Aug 07 - 04:02 PM

Back to the original question, when Martin (my 7-year-old son) and I got back from our 10-day camping trip in June, I set up the tent in the yard and have slept in it every night since then.

That has broken a pattern of late nights (reading, watching television, cleaning...) and sleep deprivation -- I can't wait to get out there to stargaze from my mesh-topped summer bedroom, so I retire at 9:00 now -- and that, in turn, has kept me much more kindly disposed towards the world in general and my family in particular. It dowsn't hurt that the inflatable mattress is actually more comfortable than my inside bed.

By the way, my husband is a workoholic too. He gets twitchy if I force him away from the house for longer than about two and a half days. After my cancer bout in 2004, I decided that life was too short to miss out just because he wouldn't take time off, so here's what I did: packed up the Mini Cooper with all the camping gear, which left just enough room for me and Martin but not actually enough for my workaholic husband; apologized for not being able to fit him in the car; and left anyway!

This year has been my third such vacation, and each has been utterly delightful for the whole family -- for Martin and I because we love camping, road trips, and spending time together (I work long hours when I'm not vacationing); and for my husband because he doesn't have to leave home, and doesn't even have to show up at "family times," like dinner. (By the way, he's been retired since 2002, but a workoholic will find work to do even when not "working"!)

Kat, I am planning to come to the Getaway this year and you are high on the list of people I most want to meet. I surely hope you can come!

Subject: RE: BS: Post-Vacation Strategies
From: wysiwyg
Date: 16 Aug 07 - 07:34 PM

How long can a tent or canvas-topped pop-up stay up, anywhay, before sun damage?

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Post-Vacation Strategies
From: ClaireBear
Date: 16 Aug 07 - 07:46 PM

I'm a bit worried about that, now that you mention it, but not enough to give up my summer bedroom! Also I live in a canyon, so sun exposure is somewhat limited. And in California, so no rain in summer.

I'm trying to keep the rain fly on the majority of the time, so that at the most I will have to replace that, not the whole tent. Had to take it off this week, though, for the Perseids.

Subject: RE: BS: Post-Vacation Strategies
From: wysiwyg
Date: 16 Aug 07 - 09:58 PM

We plan a leisurely trip tomrrow to visit the fine folks who sold us our unit-- which Hardi surprised me yesterday on, telling me as we turned in that he'd paid off the little loan we'd been carrying yesterday afternoon. It's all ours now, and we're thinking maybe we're tired of letting down those leg jack levers and oughtta weld on some screw jacks. You know, look around the lot, check out the store accessories, ask about canvas/sun....

So if they share anything applicable to tents I'll letcha know.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Post-Vacation Strategies
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 17 Aug 07 - 01:53 AM

I have no trouble getting mine to take time off, but I do have trouble getting him to go somewhere we've never been before... we've planned so many holidays in the after party drunken 'let's look at the brochures' stage, that never got beyond that... even though I remember them perfectly well the following day. The other problem is, if he is off, getting him to go somewhere interesting for all of us. We are three very different people who have vastly differing ideas of fun! A typical conversation in our house is 'Can we go out?' 'Where do you want to go?' 'I dunno, where do you want to go?' 'I dunno, where do YOU want to go'... like the vultures in the cartoon 'Jungle Book'!

I had a brainwave this week. We went on a mystery tour - although this really only works in a place where you don't have miles of rolling prairie to cross before you hit a town. Make one of those fortune teller origami things, but put the cardinal compass points on the top instead of colours. Spell out the chosen point, the inside will reveal time increments of 15 mins. Spell out the time and the inside should reveal Left or Right. Spell out whichever and lift flap. Instructions under the flap could be 'find pub for lunch', 'turn west for 30 mins', 'visit the nearest attraction on the map'... whatever. So a typical trip could be drive as close to North as possible, take the first left turn after 60 mins and drive another 15 mins then visit the nearest attraction. We ended up driving through a forest and visiting a farm.

It can be done with dice - even numbers = left turn, odd numbers = right turn and you drive for however many miles are shown on the dice - so right for 3 miles, left for 6 miles, left for 2 miles sort of thing. Take a good map with you!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Post-Vacation Strategies
From: Bert
Date: 17 Aug 07 - 02:03 AM

Slide shows, WYSILUV, Slide Shows.

...And, since we sold the four-poster, I've nothing to tie him to!...   THAT is far more information than I needed.

When I worked for Bentley they came up with a rule that any vacations and comp days that weren't used by the end of the year would be lost.

So I started taking every Friday off to use up my accrued days. This went on for months and I was still fielding the highest number of calls in the department every week. When promotion time came around it went to some asslicking kid who had stolen a load of my work and claimed it as his own.

I don't work there anymore.

Subject: RE: BS: Post-Vacation Strategies
From: katlaughing
Date: 17 Aug 07 - 02:21 AM

LOL...well, Bertdarlin'...it was quite a few years ago that we sold the four-poster, at least.:-)

ClaireBear, thanks! I hope I can make it, too. I know I've said that darn near every year, but this year it is much more likely to happen.

LtS, I should have said I have no problem getting him to go for a ride on the weekend and we do have fun rambling around, though, as you noted, the distances are far greater out here. All I have to do is ask or ell him I HAVE to get out of the house and we are gone. But, of course, he is on call 24/7 365 days so if anything happens we hightail it for work no matter what we are doing. At least on the weekends I can go with him, usually.

Otherwise I have given up. I will tell him and his boss when i book the flight and they can either take it or leave it. I will not travel by air alone, so he'd better take it! If the train were less expensive I'd go alone, but I priced it with a roomette and the itinerary was ridiculous plus the cost was much higher than flying!

That's enough. I didn't mean for this thread to get into just me and my "work-widowhood!."

Subject: RE: BS: Post-Vacation Strategies
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 17 Aug 07 - 02:21 AM

Ah, promotion... I remember having a job that had prospects of promotion. I think it was back in '82.....

LTS