BS: Chateau Wal-Mart

Subject: BS: Chateau Wal-Mart
From: dianavan
Date: 04 Oct 04 - 09:43 PM

I just rcvd. this e-mail from a friend and it made me chuckle. I hope you enjoy it.

diana

Dear friends, Believe it or not, the following paragraph is TRUE ! The rest is just good clean fun !!    Enjoy, Tom

Some Wal-Mart customers soon will be able to sample a new discount item: Wal-Mart's own brand of wine. The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with E&J Gallo Winery of Modesto, California, to produce the spirits at an affordable price, in the $2-5 range. While wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to throw a bottle of Wal-Mart brand wine into their shopping carts, there is a market for cheap wine, said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing at Roger Williams University in Bristol, R.I. She said: "The right name is important." So, here we go:

The top 13 suggested names for Wal-Mart Wine:

13. Chateau Traileur Parc

12. White Trashfindel

11. Big Red Gulp

10. Grape Expectations

9. Domaine Wal-Mart "Merde du Pays"

8. NASCARbernet

7. Chef Boyardeaux

6. Peanut Noir

5. Chateau des Moines

4. I Can't Believe It's Not Vinegar!

3. World Championship Riesling

2. Sams Shiraz

And the number 1 name for Wal-Mart Wine...

1. Nasti Spumante

The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be served with both white meat (possum) and red meat (squirrel).

Subject: RE: BS: Chateau Wal-Mart
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Oct 04 - 10:01 PM

Hey, my family's label for the wine we sometimes make is "La Bonne Merde." The last batch was so dry it sucked my brother into his own lips and he disappeared until we turned on the lawn sprinklers. Unfortunately, when he had absorbed enough water to reappear he was inside out. Took seven weeks for the doctors to fix that problem, and even then one was heard to mutter, "Why bother? He looks a lot better this way."

Subject: RE: BS: Chateau Wal-Mart
From: jacqui.c
Date: 05 Oct 04 - 04:20 AM

Rapaire - are you bringing some of that to the Getaway? I'm a wine drinker by choice and would love to try it!

Subject: RE: BS: Chateau Wal-Mart
From: GUEST,Obie
Date: 05 Oct 04 - 04:57 AM

Does this mean that Wal-mart will be replacing it's plastic bags with ones more enviromently friendly? You just can't properly enjoy a great vintage like this unless it's in a brown paper bag. lol

Subject: RE: BS: Chateau Wal-Mart
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 05 Oct 04 - 05:14 AM

Reminds of my friend Mike in Oz, who always calls Entre deaux Mers, between two stools.
As for Mole Wart itself, I already had my say on them in this forum. We have a store in the UK which originates from Germany called Lidl. We also have a rough part of Inverness called The Ferry. So the local Lidl is known as The Ferry Sainsbury's, kind of on a par with the trailer trash epithet used in the US.
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Chateau Wal-Mart
From: GUEST,Mingulay
Date: 05 Oct 04 - 05:45 AM

We also have another continental company called Aldi who do a range of cheap drinks which are best injected to avoid the taste. Their own brand rum has to be mixed with diesel before it's mixed with coke and their Buck's Fizz has real orange juice mixed with concentrated champagne flavouring. My local branch is located in our equivalent of Hicksville and is frequented by large men in tight vests with lots of gaudy jewellry who work in scrapyards and go banger racing. They seem to favour the high strength, chemical lager.

Love the first post above, one of the funniest ever.

Subject: RE: BS: Chateau Wal-Mart
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 05 Oct 04 - 09:25 AM

In Australia, we used to have a brew known metaphorically as 'Chateau Chunder'

Robin

Subject: RE: BS: Chateau Wal-Mart
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 05 Oct 04 - 09:38 AM

RHOTFALOL! You should have preceded it by a public health warning, my neighbours thought I was having a fit.

Subject: RE: BS: Chateau Wal-Mart
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 05 Oct 04 - 09:46 AM

The quality of Aussie wine has improved remarkably since then.

Subject: RE: BS: Chateau Wal-Mart
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 05 Oct 04 - 12:36 PM

God bless the Hunter Valley!!
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Chateau Wal-Mart
From: MMario
Date: 05 Oct 04 - 01:08 PM

So are people putting this down because Wal-Mart is involved , or because of the price range?

While I was in college I took a wine tasting course - one of the things they taught us was that the price had little to do with the QUALITY of the wine.** In fact, though we didn't do true "blind" tasting - for several of the tasting sessions the Teaching Assistants and Professor SWAPPED bottles around on us. A number of people consistantly ranked the wines by "name"-label and cost. Those of us who actually ranked the wines by taste and preference ended up with much higher grades - even where the prof and TA's didn't AGREE with our choices. (they kept the results and analyzed them for patterns based on label, based on price, and based on their own judgements of the wine.)

**in the long run. In other words - there is no guarantee that a high price or "big-name" label will result in a quality wine - and frequently they can be mediocre. However a low price wine can and frequently is quite good. Furthermore - lower priced wines tend to appeal to broader selections of population.

Subject: RE: BS: Chateau Wal-Mart
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Oct 04 - 02:07 PM

Well I remember Molly Pitcher Cannon Number 49....

Or Bardenheirs Port....

Subject: RE: BS: Chateau Wal-Mart
From: Don Firth
Date: 05 Oct 04 - 03:05 PM

Their particular brand of Thunderbird is called "Thunder Mug."

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Chateau Wal-Mart
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Oct 04 - 06:11 PM

Do they still make Ripple? Or Cold Duck? Or Cold Bear? Or put up Chateauneuf de Pape in those crazily-necked bottles?

ah, the memories. ah, the hangovers.

Subject: RE: BS: Chateau Wal-Mart
From: PoppaGator
Date: 05 Oct 04 - 06:59 PM

There's a discount "gourmet" food-store chain in California that markets some *very* inexpensive wine, and the stuff has developed a decent reputation as fairly good wine easily worth its price and more.

The label name is "Charles [somebody]," but the product is widely known as "Two Buck Chuck." Yes, just $2 per bottle (maybe $1.99). I think it comes in at least two varieties, a white and a red.

Maybe someone in California can fill in more details.

Subject: RE: BS: Chateau Wal-Mart
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 05 Oct 04 - 07:39 PM

That "Two Buck Chuck" is actually Charles Shaw, sold by Trader Joe's. We don't have Trader Joe's in Minnesota, alas.

Subject: RE: BS: Chateau Wal-Mart
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 05 Oct 04 - 10:06 PM

As a Queenslander, I must mention the good quality Stanthorpe wines.

Subject: RE: BS: Chateau Wal-Mart
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Oct 04 - 10:48 PM

As an Idahoer, I must mention Mad Dog 20/20.

Subject: RE: BS: Chateau Wal-Mart
From: Padre
Date: 05 Oct 04 - 11:27 PM

Ah, Cold Duck - the wonder wine of the early 70's, the replacement for Boone's Farm. In Georgetown (read trendy part of DC) the Country Gentlemen used to play at a bar called the Shamrock, which featured black walls with day-glo paint dots on it, and a huge sign over the bar reading "Yes, we have Cold Duck!"

Subject: RE: BS: Chateau Wal-Mart
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 06 Oct 04 - 05:43 AM

Ah! the days of 99c bottles of Stone's Green Ginger Wine...

Subject: RE: BS: Chateau Wal-Mart
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 06 Oct 04 - 05:54 AM

Padre, there is no replacement for Boone's Farm.

Aloha,
Mark

(We used to use Strawberry Hill to bait ant traps...)

Subject: RE: BS: Chateau Wal-Mart
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 06 Oct 04 - 06:36 AM

Here in the UK we have Concorde and VP wine, and we mustn't forget the staple of the Glaswegian alky Buckfast, affectionately known as 'Buckie'.
Last but not least there is Sanatogen Tonic wine eeeeeuuuucchh.

Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Chateau Wal-Mart
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 06 Oct 04 - 08:14 AM

Ah, Giok, but where are the days of Hirondelle... And Don Cortez...
...And closer to home, Domestos...

Subject: RE: BS: Chateau Wal-Mart
From: GUEST,Mingulay
Date: 06 Oct 04 - 08:47 AM

Never knew you were a Domestos drinker, George! Mind you if you have been raised on ouzo......

Subject: RE: BS: Chateau Wal-Mart
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 06 Oct 04 - 09:37 AM

Once I'd clear customs at Patras, or Matpai as It said on the buses, my first stop was just over the Corinth Canal on the right, before the tool booth for the motorway [sic] There I would order half a dozen Souvlaki, and a bottle of Kourtaki, that was when I knew I was back in Greece again. Always prferred Retsina to Demestika. Very fond of Mavrodaphne too.
Giok
[Tesco do Kourtaki now]