Punch the Horse in September

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: Oaklet
Date: 12 Sep 03 - 05:52 AM

You could have heard it by now if you'd have run away with me to live at the Travel Lodge at Doncaster North Services on the M18/M180 junction, only getting out of bed to eat Flame Grilled Whoppers at the Burger King across the car park.

You rotten self-obsessed finch-rearing pillock.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: Noreen
Date: 12 Sep 03 - 06:02 AM

This lends credence to the theory that the only people whom Oaklet has graced with a copy of the new CD are those who have slept in his bed.

Skipjack and I can only speak for ourselves...

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 12 Sep 03 - 06:18 AM

heloo, i just woke up, i had a really bad nightmare last night, a big white cat, got into my bedroom an bit my nose off, 9 very scarey], i woke up, and checked my nose was still there, [it was], i checked them room for cats as well, i dident find none.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 12 Sep 03 - 06:35 AM

I have shared a sleeping bag with him in his Van, on the banks of the of the Chesterfield Canal. Does that count? Ahhh, I remember it now, moonlight sparkling on the water, a host of heavenly stars, the gentle sound of the water lapping against the lock gates, and the quaint locals of the Packet Inn having a screaming fight in the car park. The sound of shattering glass and sirens was the perfect end to a perfect evening.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 12 Sep 03 - 06:36 AM

He was dressed in blue....

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: Noreen
Date: 12 Sep 03 - 06:38 AM

Sireens? Was I there?

Good to see you working yer butt off, Mr Meister.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 12 Sep 03 - 06:51 AM

Erm....sorry Mum. Back to the fray...!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 12 Sep 03 - 06:57 AM

Can somebody tell me when exactly Whitby Folk week is next year? I'm booking a cottage, and I'm not sure which week to book. Need to confirm pretty quickly. Anybody?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: Oaklet
Date: 12 Sep 03 - 07:16 AM

February 6 to the 11th.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 12 Sep 03 - 07:31 AM

Not sure when it is Demister, but ring Whitby Tourist Information Office on=01947 602 674.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: GUEST
Date: 12 Sep 03 - 07:31 AM

*

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 12 Sep 03 - 07:41 AM

Thanks jOhn. I just did. It's from 21st to 27th August in case anybody's interested.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: Noreen
Date: 12 Sep 03 - 07:53 AM

Can I come?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: KJ
Date: 12 Sep 03 - 08:08 AM

We'll miss you this evening Deanie.As for sharing a sleeping bag with Oaklet, have you been to the doctor's yet? I would recommend that you go quickly, not all bacteria are friendly bacteria you know, they tell you that on the adverts.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: Raggytash
Date: 12 Sep 03 - 08:10 AM

Whitby Folk Week is always in the week preceeding August Bank Holiday, so find out when the bank holiday falls and you have found the folk week, this applies for each and every year ......or for at least the last 13 years that I know of

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: Oaklet
Date: 12 Sep 03 - 08:24 AM

Pity that you couldn't have accepted the February date until he had made a no-cancellation booking. I had a lovely image of a muttering and hostile De-mister, hobbling down St Mary's steps, fighting an easterly force 9 studded with viscous hailstones into a deserted, freezing Whitby.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: Noreen
Date: 12 Sep 03 - 09:14 AM

And oysters

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: Willa
Date: 12 Sep 03 - 04:38 PM

This year's prog. says it's August 21st to 27th next year, Pete, as BH Monday is the 30th.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: old git
Date: 12 Sep 03 - 07:20 PM

if you can't wait that long there's always the moor and coast fest at the beginning of may

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: Raggytash
Date: 12 Sep 03 - 08:13 PM

why wait that long, captain cook festival is in october

excuse lower case, i'm eating a butty

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: Oaklet
Date: 12 Sep 03 - 08:16 PM

I've just come back from a party, me.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: smallpiper
Date: 12 Sep 03 - 10:24 PM

Yes I was there and my fiend anita sez that oakley he's on a different planet he is but a nice chap for all that an all.She's a yorkshire lass you see.


Deanie your prize for posting the 100th post to this thread is the opportunity to buy one of your own photocopiers.... congratulations!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Sep 03 - 01:02 PM

God, I love that phrase, "You rotten self-obsessed finch-rearing pillock!" I intend to hoard it like a precious gem and then use it on some devastatingly appropriate occasion. Thank you, Oakley!

- LH

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: Oaklet
Date: 13 Sep 03 - 01:17 PM

Hawklet, thanks for the encouragement. I am touched.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: KJ
Date: 13 Sep 03 - 02:10 PM

Ah arrrrrrrrrr & avest me hearies, shiver me decking timbers & dribble me water features, arrrrrr arrrrrr arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. (Good this innit!) ta me auld ship-mates for making the long sea haul to Cap'n Colin's & first-mate Karen's shindig. Of fiddling there was plenty (fiddling with what you may ask...yes you may ask, ask Oaklet what he was fiddling with!!) Plenty of drink was took & we all danced on a dead man's chest, holding our arbitration kebabs. Avast me hearties, Allah be praised & may your women have many humps & your camel have many children.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: Oaklet
Date: 13 Sep 03 - 02:26 PM

KJ, the thought or responding to your thanks for the invite to the party on a thread not consigned to the BS section, makes me wince with pleasure. It was great to share an arbitration kebab with you and Colin (it was Colin Thompson) Thompson. You provided the chance to have a great night and I am very grateful. Sorry about the incident with the Swarfega, by the way. Try a Stain Devil.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: GUEST,KJ
Date: 13 Sep 03 - 05:09 PM

It was sitting at the end of my bed the other night that stain devil, gibbering away with an evil look in his eye!! Bloody hell what WAS that stuff I was smoking!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: Oaklet
Date: 13 Sep 03 - 05:33 PM

It was probably an ounce of "Fortnam's Extreme Wildebeast Ready-Rubbed Plug", KJ.

Ohh shit, the end has come off again...

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Sep 03 - 06:00 PM

Simply grasp it firmly and screw it back on with a right-hand turn or two then...

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: GUEST,KJ
Date: 13 Sep 03 - 08:43 PM

Who are these people that go around rubbing Wildebeest? Stick it back on with Superglue Oaklet.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: Oaklet
Date: 14 Sep 03 - 06:58 AM

Do you have any arbitration kebabs left over, KJ? or any Byelaw enforcement noodles? I noticed that Skip troughed all the cheesy bog olives, without splillng any down his anti-static jiving harness.

I have to lie down. It is throbbing like hell.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: smallpiper
Date: 14 Sep 03 - 08:46 AM

Arrggggggggggg me harties - that's all I have to say on the subject - erm you sure it was wildebeast and not the short necked Giraffe shag?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: KJ
Date: 14 Sep 03 - 10:58 AM

Oaklet. R.e throbbing end. As everyone knows, an end has to have a beginning. Any symptoms in the end is likely to have its origins in the beginning. If the beginning is dysfunctional then the end is likely to suffer. However,it could be, that the beginning itself is not dysfunctional but that the middle is the cause of the symptoms. In such cases it is terminal, there is no hope, the end is nigh.
P.S Skip's anti-static jiving harness was not.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: smallpiper
Date: 14 Sep 03 - 07:55 PM

KJ - TITUS is seven. His confines, Gormenghast. Suckled on shadows; weaned, as it were, on webs of ritual: for his ears, echoes, for his eyes, a labyrith of stone: and yet within his body some-thing or other - other than this umbrageous legacy. For first and ever foremost he is child.
A ritual more compelling than ever man devised, is fighting anchoured darkness. A ritual of the blood; of the jumping blood. These quicks of sentience owe nothing to his forebears, but to those feckless hosts, a trillion deep, of the globe's childhood.
The gift of bright blood. Of blood that laughs when the tenets mutter 'Weep'. Of blood that mourns when the sere laws croak 'Rejoice!' O little revolution in great shades!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: Oaklet
Date: 14 Sep 03 - 07:59 PM

Jesus....

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 14 Sep 03 - 08:09 PM

heloo, waht you are on about then? i'm confused!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Sep 03 - 08:16 PM

That's pretty striking prose, smallpiper.

- LH

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 14 Sep 03 - 08:19 PM

Looks like some kind of weird witch talk to me! ;-)

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: smallpiper
Date: 14 Sep 03 - 08:25 PM

Read on and Lean!   

Titus the seventy-seventh. Heir to a crumbling summit: to a sea of nettles: to an empire of red rust: to rituals' footprints ankle deep in stone.
Gormenghast.
Withdrawn and ruinous it broods in umbra: the immemorial masonry: the towers, the tracts. Is all corroding? No. Through an avenue of spires a zephyr floats; a bird whiistles; a freshet bears away from a choked river. Deep in a fist of a stone doll's hand wriggles, warm rebellious on the frozen palm. A shadow shifts its length. A spider stirs...

And darkness winds between the characters.

Who are the characters? And what has he learned of them and of his home since that far off day when he was born to the Countess of Groan in a room alive with birds?

He has learned an alphabet of arch and aisle: the language of dim stairs and moth-hung quadrangles: his trees are pillars. And he has learned that there are always eyes. Eyes that watch. Feet that follow, and hands to hold him when he struggles, to lift him when he falls. Upon his feet again he stares unsmilling. Tall figures bow. Some in jewellery; some in rags.

The characters

The quick and the dead. The shapes, the voices that throng his mind, for there are days when the living have no substance and the dead are active.

Who are these dead - these victims of violence who no longer influence the tenor of Gormenghast save by a deathless repercussion? For riples are still widening in the dark rings and a movement runs over the gooseflesh waters through the drowned stones lie still. The characters who are but names to Titus, though one of them his father, and all of them alive when he was born. Who are they? For the child will hear of them.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 14 Sep 03 - 08:29 PM

Wich way do you want us to lean?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: smallpiper
Date: 14 Sep 03 - 08:35 PM

Ah jOhn there's the rub my friend there's the rub.....

Let them apear for a quick eathless moment, as ghosts, separate, dissimilar and complete. They are even now moving, as before death, on their own ground. Is Time's cold scroll recoiling on itself untill the dead years speak, or is it in the throb of now that spectres wake and wander through the walls?


To be continued.....

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: Noreen
Date: 14 Sep 03 - 08:47 PM

why?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Sep 03 - 08:49 PM

This Gormenghast stuff is very stylish, but is it all style and no substance (like the old TV show "Miami Vice" in the '80's)? Or does it contain a thread of real meaning? Only by plowing through another 85,000 dramatic words will we know...

- LH

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 15 Sep 03 - 08:15 AM

Ahem. I have just sold a photocopier.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: Raggytash
Date: 15 Sep 03 - 08:30 AM

I thought the last inclusion number 144 was gross

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: GUEST,Skipjack K8
Date: 15 Sep 03 - 08:42 AM

I understand photocopiers more than Gormenghast

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: Noreen
Date: 15 Sep 03 - 08:45 AM

Congratulations Mr Meister sir- 'twas your winning smile as ever that clinched the deal.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: Noreen
Date: 15 Sep 03 - 08:54 AM

Can't stop- moving the fridge to make room for the photocopier.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: Oaklet
Date: 15 Sep 03 - 09:10 AM

Can anyone explain that load of old bollocks that dribbles from Smallpliers's keyboard? Should we be worried about him?

Deany - you are the Queen of Toshiba. When you texted about your arrival on Saturday night, it was the Arrival of the Queen of Toshiba that I whistled in you honour.

Toshiba!

Sorry, I just sneezed

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse in September
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 15 Sep 03 - 09:15 AM

I think smallpliers is talking like a witch!
maybe he making a spell or something.