BS: GUM BAN! Enough already!

Subject: BS: GUM BAN! Enough already!
From: Art Thieme
Date: 21 Nov 08 - 11:10 PM

Funny, you don't look Chewish.

Art

Subject: RE: BS: GUM BAN! Enough already!
From: catspaw49
Date: 21 Nov 08 - 11:19 PM

They can have my gum when they can pry it from the bottom of my cold, rusty, bar stool.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: GUM BAN! Enough already!
From: quokka
Date: 21 Nov 08 - 11:35 PM

What did Frances Ethel ever do to you? Or have you seen The Wizard of Oz once too many? Maybe you're a Munchkin sick and tired of that trollop taking all the credit for.....oh wait - I thought you said GUMM BAN!

Getting my cape and skipping off down the yellow brick road...

Subject: RE: BS: GUM BAN! Enough already!
From: catspaw49
Date: 21 Nov 08 - 11:56 PM

The Bill of Rights also gives me the right to keep and chew bears as well.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: GUM BAN! Enough already!
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Nov 08 - 11:57 PM

Reminds me of a Grandpa Jones song...


Well, I'm gonna tell you 'bout my pretty little miss
She's just as pretty as a plum
But every where she went she would spend her last cent
on chewin' gum, chewin' gum, chewin' gum, yum yum.


That's all the words I know, but it's probably as much as you want to hear anyway.

Subject: RE: BS: GUM BAN! Enough already!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 22 Nov 08 - 03:16 AM

Oh this is something I'd love to see.. or at least, fines for dropping it in the street or sommit... I hate to see those little black dots all over our pavements, and even worse when I get it in the tread of my shoes and end up having to scrape it off at the kerb or pick it out with a penknife...

I'm not against chewing gum per se... chew it myself quite often, but I dispose of it carefully in a bin, wrapped in the wrapper or a bit of newspaper or something.. just not thrown on the ground for any poor person to walk in.

It's almost as disgusting as spitting.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: GUM BAN! Enough already!
From: Cluin
Date: 22 Nov 08 - 03:19 AM

On one of those "most disgusting jobs" shows, I saw them feature a gum removing steam cleaner that heats up then scrapes old gum off the sidewalk. The host reported that the smell of the steamed gum was possibly the most repulsive that he'd ever experienced on the show.

He didn't vomit though, like he did in the sewers.

Subject: RE: BS: GUM BAN! Enough already!
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Nov 08 - 08:32 AM

I AM NOT A RUMINANT!   I'M HUMAN!

Subject: RE: BS: GUM BAN! Enough already!
From: goatfell
Date: 22 Nov 08 - 09:17 AM

well it is banned in Singapore, I would be happy if more countries did the same.

Subject: RE: BS: GUM BAN! Enough already!
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Nov 08 - 10:08 AM

Are you aware of the vast number of dentists who are behind the gum trade? They make millions from it and sit around in their "Conventions" (like the American Dental Association, which is dedicated to rotting kids teeth) sipping expensive cognacs and laughing about the toothache sufferers who visit their elaborate, mahogany-paneled, offices. Just ask our own jimmyt!

Subject: RE: BS: GUM BAN! Enough already!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 22 Nov 08 - 10:10 AM

Does yer broon ale lose it's flavour, in the bedpan overnight? ♫♫♪

Subject: RE: BS: GUM BAN! Enough already!
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Nov 08 - 11:21 AM

I'd like to start a group called "The Thundermugs." The music would consist of, well, various acts of elimination into galvanized containers of different sizes; electronic hookups could be used to enhance the experience. Think of the songs: "The Mermaid" or "Sloop John B." or "Raindrops keep fallin' on my head" or "Blood Red Roses" or...the possibilities are endless.

If anyone is interested please let Spaw know.

Subject: RE: BS: GUM BAN! Enough already!
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 22 Nov 08 - 12:28 PM

I wish there could be a health scare about chewing gum. Headlines in the tabloids about it how chewing gum causes acne, for example...

Subject: RE: BS: GUM BAN! Enough already!
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Nov 08 - 12:47 PM

Well, it's a well-known fact that if you swallow bubble gum and fart the next day, it will blow a bubble which will stick to your underwear. If you swallow a sufficiently large piece of bubble gum it will stick so badly that you won't be able to get that pair of underwear off and will have to go through the rest of your life wearing the same smelly BVDs.

Subject: RE: BS: GUM BAN! Enough already!
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 22 Nov 08 - 12:52 PM

That wouldn't do. Just encourages them to spit it out.

I suppose if there could be a story about how swallowing chewing gum improved your sex life that might help clean up the pavements...

Subject: RE: BS: GUM BAN! Enough already!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Nov 08 - 01:19 PM

Back in Junior High School I used to see how many pieces of gum I could chew in my mouth at one time by adding another piece as soon as the sweet taste began to fade from the previous one. I eventually ended up with a giant wad of chewy pink gum in my mouth...I think it was sixteen pieces of Dubble Bubble chewing gum...or it may have been the Bazooka brand, I can't quite recall. As it was becoming a bit difficult to breathe at that point and my jaw was also getting quite tired and sore, I finally spat the whole Giant Wad out in my hand and took a good look at it. It was about half the size of a baseball. Really impressive. I couldn't bear to part with it, so I wrapped it up in some wax paper and kept it in my locker. Now and then on slow days I would take it out and try re-chewing it. I found that a wee tiny bit of the sweet taste would somehow seem to have restored itself overnight, but it never lasted long.

I finally included the Giant Wad in an unofficial chemistry experiment in chem lab in 10th Grade on an occasion when the teacher was absent. I put it in a beaker with several interesting looking substances and applied heat with the bunsen burner. The entire mass began to bubble and swell up rapidly and emit an extremely foul odor! I and the others who were witnessing this rapidly backed off as the Giant Wad Conglomerate overran the sides of the beaker and poured out onto the desktop. It appeared to have taken on some hideous life of its own and was growing exponentially.

We fled the lab, not wishing to be associated with whatever mayhem might soon follow, and we shut the door behind us. A short time later there was a sound of breaking glass. The Giant Wad Conglomerate had made its escape through the windows of the chem lab and it wriggled swiftly across the common outside, causing panic to ensue among a large number of students and staff who were out there on the lawn during lunch recess. From there it made its way into the woods at the edge of the school property...and vanished.

There were several unexplained disappearances of livestock in the next few weeks, and a farmer and two hunters went missing as well. After that...nothing.

I had kept my part in these events secret until this day, but I feel that it is time now to reveal what I know about this unfortunate incident. That old Steve McQueen movie, "The Blob", was no mere piece of speculative fiction. Gum is dangerous! DON'T chew more of it at one time than you can handle.

Subject: RE: BS: GUM BAN! Enough already!
From: Art Thieme
Date: 22 Nov 08 - 02:18 PM

Little Hawk,

Finally----a post like I hoped and envisioned when I started the thread!!!

There is no way, actually, that I can ever thank you enough--- So I won't...

Just know, within yourself, that you achieved a high water mark, of a sort, with that (I think.)

Art

Subject: RE: BS: GUM BAN! Enough already!
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Nov 08 - 03:18 PM

Bee-Dubya-Ell's warnings do not go far enough.

"Jaws" McGurque (his family had high-falutin' ambitions when they moved to Chesterfield back in 1870 and changed the spelling of their surname) was called that because he was always chewing gum. Three weeks back he bet Smith Smith that he could chew more gum than SS could. Since this was up at the Legion Hovel, out in the Biergarden, there was quite a bit of action in side bets. Lots of people were there because it was the Annual Cabbage 'n' Beans Burrito Feast and Beer Swill, and both of our heroes had partaken of the Feast and Swill before the bet was made.

Anyway, Jaws was up to 48 packs of Wrigley's finest and SS had dropped out when his abdomen started to, ah, react negatively to what had passed for food earlier in the evening. Jaws got a really odd look on his face and managed to clear the Biergarden -- and then he swallowed that gum.

The negative reaction continued. Through the hermetically sealed windows someone noticed that the seat of Jaws' pants was getting bigger and bigger with every blast of the bugle (so to speak). After a few moments his pants split open and a grayish bubble was seen, a bubble that was growing and growing. Finally, it lifted Jaws off the ground and just his fingertips, clutching the flagpole rope, was all that kept him connected with terra firma.

Some of the more hearty Legionaires and Legionettes rushed out to try to save poor Jaws, but their valiant, though misguided, attempts to puncture the bubble with a Bowie knife they managed to cut the rope and Jaws started drifting away on the breeze. He grasped for the roof of the Hovel but salvation was not to be, and you can see the marks from his fingernails to this day.

No one knows what happened to him. He was last seen barely clearing the cell phone towers on top of Big Prick Peak, heading north by east.

I support the Gum Ban, and I do not believe that the US Constitution gives anyone the so-called "Chew Right".

Subject: RE: BS: GUM BAN! Enough already!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Nov 08 - 05:06 PM

He was brought down a day later by some Avro CF-100's of the RCAF (Royal Canadian Air Force) over central Saskatchewan, Rapaire, having been mistaken for an aerial "intruder". They say that the resultant detonation was heard as far away as Blind River and Kapuskasing.

Subject: RE: BS: GUM BAN! Enough already!
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Nov 08 - 05:39 PM

So THAT'S what that was! We thought the Yellowstone Caldera was burping again!

Subject: RE: BS: GUM BAN! Enough already!
From: Ed T
Date: 22 Nov 08 - 06:21 PM

http://www.flickr.com/photos/vo/2228198941/

Subject: RE: BS: GUM BAN! Enough already!
From: Cluin
Date: 22 Nov 08 - 06:34 PM

A demonstration sport in the 2012 Olympics: Synchronized Bubble Gum Farting.

As usual, the Romanians are way ahead in training techniques.

Subject: RE: BS: GUM BAN! Enough already!
From: Art Thieme
Date: 22 Nov 08 - 10:00 PM

How might this be used for contraception?

Subject: RE: BS: GUM BAN! Enough already!
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Nov 08 - 11:40 PM

Banning gum as a contraceptive device? I mean, I can (unfortunately) form a mental picture of chewing USED as a contraceptive device, but....

Subject: RE: BS: GUM BAN! Enough already!
From: Mooh
Date: 23 Nov 08 - 05:44 AM

Rapaire said, "I'd like to start a group called "The Thundermugs."" Rapaire

You're too late. Thundermug was/is a band already. Saw them open for Rush at least once back in the '70s.

Peace, Mooh.

Subject: RE: BS: GUM BAN! Enough already!
From: goatfell
Date: 23 Nov 08 - 02:43 PM

I hate when someone is eating the bloody Chewing gum, and then they pop it like BUBBLE GUM, and to me it likes a cow chewing the grass when eating, it is not a pretty sight at all, they should ban the bloody stuff, but then there will people out the that don't like that idea.