BS: Special Offer

Subject: BS: Special Offer
From: red_clay
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 03:51 PM

A special offer-

We at Carnival Cruise Lines didn't forget that a lot of entertainers had promised to leave the country if George W.Bush were to be re-elected President.

With that in mind, we have a Special Offer for those who still want to keep their promise!

Attention: Would Alec Baldwin, Rosie O'Donnell and her wife, Ed Asner, Janeane Garafalo, Whoppi Goldberg, Al Franken, Michael Moore and his personal groomer, Cher and her vocal therapist, Phil Donahue, Rob Reiner(apparently still a "meathead"), Barbara Streisand (who has a nose for these outcomes), Jane Fonda, Vietnamese Ambassador to the U.S., Pierre Salinger, as well as the entire staffs of the LA and NY Times and anyone else who made that promise, please dispose of all US assets and report to Florida for the sailing of the Funship Cruise, "Elation," which has been commissioned to take you to your new vacation homes in Afghanistan.

You may opt to be dropped off in Somalia or Iraq.

The Florida Supreme Court will sponsor a Farewell Parade in your honor through Palm Beach, Broward, and Miami-Dade counties prior to your cruise.

Please pack for an extended stay... at least four more years.

Note: Since you advocate strict gun control, you may not bring any, but then with Jane Fonda along you won't need any.

Staffing your voyage is Bill Clinton as captain, Al Gore as cruise director, Grey Davis, Purser Terry Heinz Kerry hopefully will be kept somewhere below decks away from the media.

Monica Lewinsky as the "Cigar and Cigarette Girl",

Entertainment by the Dixie Chicks and Bruce Springsteen, John Kerry will be our Life Guard in consideration of his past experience in pulling people out of the water. (Unless he decides at the last minute not to go) He is advocating the elimination of the game "shuffleboard" in favor of his new game he calls "waffleboard". Be sure to pack your flip flops as you will need them while playing.

Ted Kennedy will double as Bartender and Director of Emergency Procedures and as a buoy as required.

Rev. Al Sharpton will provide inspirational services, and Ex-Congressman Gary Condit as intern coordinator.

If you have any questions about making arrangements for your homes, friends and loved ones, please direct your comments to Senator Hillary Clinton. Her village, paid for by the United States, can raise your children while you're gone, and she can watch over all your money and your furnishings until you return.

"Bon Voyage!"

Is this a great country or what? It's called freedom of Speech!

Subject: RE: BS: Special Offer
From: CarolC
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 03:54 PM

"Freedom of speach" means all those who practice it are required to leave the country? I had no idea.

Subject: RE: BS: Special Offer
From: Once Famous
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 04:00 PM

Ha Ha! What a riot. great thread.

Carol C., this group had every right to their free speech.

But now, I doubt that they will put there money where there mouth is.

This group did nothing except draw attention to themselves and had zero effect on the outcome of the election.

zero as in zilch. and I don't mean Alonso.

Subject: RE: BS: Special Offer
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 04:05 PM

another old recycled and unattributed cut and paste. [yawn]

Subject: RE: BS: Special Offer
From: Once Famous
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 04:06 PM

Yeah, but it's really funny. and it can't really be that old.

Subject: RE: BS: Special Offer
From: tarheel
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 04:08 PM

dang that red_clay...told him to stop that cut/paste stuff in here!

Subject: RE: BS: Special Offer
From: Peace
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 04:12 PM

Red clay: Use capital letters when you post an original thought. I will read that one.

Subject: RE: BS: Special Offer
From: Peace
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 04:13 PM

Hell, I thought this thread was gonna be about Joe. He IS a special Offer.

Subject: RE: BS: Special Offer
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 04:13 PM

It came out following the Bush appointment by the Supreme Court.

Subject: RE: BS: Special Offer
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 04:14 PM

C>>>>>R>>>>>>>>>A>>>>>>>>>P>>>>>>>>>>there is a use for it I suppose.

Subject: RE: BS: Special Offer
From: artbrooks
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 04:59 PM

The same message is currently on 174 other boards. Yawn.

Subject: RE: BS: Special Offer
From: SINSULL
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 05:08 PM

Still funny. I wisely did not threaten to leave the country. And after a horrible experience on a Carnival Cruise would not choose them as a conveyance.

Subject: RE: BS: Special Offer
From: Once Famous
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 05:10 PM

I had a terrible experience also on a Carnival Cruise once.

I was very, very sea sick.

Subject: RE: BS: Special Offer
From: Peace
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 05:16 PM

My grandmother tried to describe the feeling of sea sickness to me when I was younger. I gather it is somewhere between lingering death and and will the grim reaper please hurry up. Never felt it myself, but I don't feel superior because of that. Just smug. I watched Uncle Bill one day as he taught me to jig cod take a freshly caught fish, kill it and cut a piece from the side of the cod. He looked at his nephew who was beginning to feel the sickness and he put the fresh fish to his mouth and tore off some flesh. He offer some to his nephew who promptly emptied the contents of his stomach into Burin Bay. Uncle Bill wasn't really my uncle, but that's waht everyone called him. The one exception was his nephew who had a few other names for him when he'd finished clearing out his stomach.

Subject: RE: BS: Special Offer
From: PoppaGator
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 05:20 PM

Hey, I disagree with Red's politics, and his posting is hardly original, but it's mildly funny and he has a point. Anyone who was stupid enough to say they'd leave the country if an election did not result as desired deserves to be ridiculed.

Of course, I have my doubts that all the celebrities mentioned (misspelled and otherwise) actually ever made such a pronouncement. Maybe a few of 'em, certainly not each and every.

This does mark a big step forward for the poster, though. At least he's recycling jokes originating from his own school of thought. Last time I looked, the best he could do was to take an anti-Bush joke and change the names (a joke portraying John Kerry as a full-of-himself coked-up frat boy pretending to be a cowboy -- I mean, REALLY!) At least he's showing better judgement about which jokes to plagerize.

Subject: RE: BS: Special Offer
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 06:29 PM

Yeah, I got that "I'm gonna leave the country" crap outta my system when Reagan was elected. I didn't go then, despite my threats, and I ain't goin' now. I don't necessarilly like the results of the election, but how in the hell is leaving the country going to help the next one turn out better? Anyway, I figure most countries already have enough smart-alecky, bald, half-ass guitar players.

Subject: RE: BS: Special Offer
From: Joe Offer
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 06:40 PM

Yeah, hey, I thought this thread was going to be about me, too. Mom always said I was "special."
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: BS: Special Offer
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 06:45 PM

I went to sail upon the sea,
I went to sail upon the sea.
The sea returned some bile on me
I really was seasick you see!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Special Offer
From: Amos
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 07:17 PM

I can understand being nauseated by the election.

But tempted though I was, I am not fleeing.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Special Offer
From: bbc
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 07:22 PM

We sure think you're special, Joe; I thought it was about you, too (Otherwise, I wouldn't have bothered to open it).

best,

bbc

Subject: RE: BS: Special Offer
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 07:39 PM

Another copy-and-paste job. Searching for "We at Carnival Cruise Lines didn't forget that a" (in quotes) gets 296 hits on Google.

Subject: RE: BS: Special Offer
From: SINSULL
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 08:07 PM

Still not Toy Boy material. Sorry Bro Joe

Subject: RE: BS: Special Offer
From: Joe Offer
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 08:14 PM

Hey, c'mon, Sinsull! Where can you do better?
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: BS: Special Offer
From: Ebbie
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 08:22 PM

Neither "We at Carnival Cruise Lines" or red_clay is aware that Pierre Salinger died earlier this year. Do try to keep it current, will ya?

Subject: RE: BS: Special Offer
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 08:35 PM

Cut and paste can be ok, for example, for the words of a song, or when some article isn't going to stick around reliably on the page you found it, or when you just want to give a passaage from something much longer.

But surely it's basic good manners not to present it in a way that might invite anyone to think it's something you wrote yourself, when it isn't.

After all, it doesn't take long to write "Here is something I found (here - with a link) and I thought it might interest/amuse/annoy Mudcatters."

Subject: RE: BS: Special Offer
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 11 Nov 04 - 09:43 PM

Brillant postings Mr. Red-Clay!!! WELL DONE!!! BRAVO - Bravisiomo!@!!!

Your cutting wit is a welcome change within this forum.

Sincerely,
Gargoyle

Many of the MC's most acknowledged contributors (mr. mcgrath included - and little the little brucies two) do not acknowledge their sources - (an ego-centric oversight that indicates.... well.....we all know...the oversight.

Subject: RE: BS: Special Offer
From: dianavan
Date: 12 Nov 04 - 12:46 AM

I thought this was something about Joe, too! When I realized it was from redclay aka tarheel, I just kept scrolling. Do you have anything to say for yourself?

d