BS: Foreign Boxes

Subject: BS: Foreign Boxes
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 06 Jun 04 - 05:01 PM

Hello, not sure if i spelled foreign write or not, but i'm not bothered.

anyway= i'm skint , so i went to Aldi for my shopping, [ my grocreries etc],
and i got a carton of cran berry juice, [i think its a Danish comppany],
and the box is stupid, and hard to open, now i am covered in cranberry juice.

i bet them pc people will think i am racist now, but i'm not, [ i been working in curry ship for 10 years],

but them stupid danish people should get there boxes soerted out.
waht you thinnk\?

Subject: RE: BS: Foreign Boxes
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 06 Jun 04 - 05:07 PM

anyway= it doesent even taste of cranberry juice, it tastes of monkey piss, so i be asking for my money back [oingreduients=water, sugar,, canrbnberrys etc], big rip off,
if they don;t give my money back, then i will see the trading standards people.

Subject: RE: BS: Foreign Boxes
From: SINSULL
Date: 06 Jun 04 - 05:35 PM

Hi jOhn. You spelled "foreign" correctly but "shop" wrong. Monkey piss? Not likely from Denmark. Maybe they cut it with loganberries. I too am waxed carton challenged and usually take a pair of scissors to the OJ carton before I get drowned.

Now, mustard and ketchup packets...when Burger King first started serving salads, I ordered one. With it came a sealed packet of Italian Dressing. I ripped and tore and got nowhere. Picture this - I am dressed in a business suit, heels, briefcase, very smart looking. I get the bright idea to squeeze the packet and force out some dressing.

The little boy sitting across from me with his mother started laughing hysterically while she tried to shut him up. The dressing shot out in a fountain and landed on my head, dripped down onto my jacket, and even managed to make it to the salad. The best part? I still had two more appointments to keep that day.

Remind me to tell you about the time I used a pay phone in a snowstorm and was nearly electrocuted.

Subject: RE: BS: Foreign Boxes
From: GUEST,Danish Pastry Chef
Date: 06 Jun 04 - 05:36 PM

Maybe Hull needs to make it illegal to open boxes of liquid while drunk.

Subject: RE: BS: Foreign Boxes
From: SINSULL
Date: 06 Jun 04 - 06:10 PM

I was cold sober - always am when I drive.

Subject: RE: BS: Foreign Boxes
From: Peace
Date: 06 Jun 04 - 06:30 PM

jOhn: Foreign was the ONLY word you spelled correctly. I am proud of you, son. Hang in.

Subject: RE: BS: Foreign Boxes
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 06 Jun 04 - 08:48 PM

Foreign boxes, bought from Aldi
Foreign boxes full of cranberry
But I can't get the b*****s open
There's a good chance they taste the same

So I write about it on the Mudcat
And folks attack my use of English
But I still can't get them open
Tell me do they taste the same?



Nigel

Subject: RE: BS: Foreign Boxes
From: GUEST
Date: 07 Jun 04 - 04:07 PM

So how does a Tetrapak filled in Denmark differ from a Tetrapak filled anywhere else?

Subject: RE: BS: Foreign Boxes
From: GUEST, not you, someone else
Date: 07 Jun 04 - 04:51 PM

It has 'filled in Denmark' on the label?

Subject: RE: BS: Foreign Boxes
From: DougR
Date: 07 Jun 04 - 05:16 PM

John: why do you drink monkey piss?

DougR

Subject: RE: BS: Foreign Boxes
From: Peace
Date: 08 Jun 04 - 05:20 PM

Look: Ya gotta be smarter than the box. Sorry, but that's how I see it.

Subject: RE: BS: Foreign Boxes
From: Shanghaiceltic
Date: 08 Jun 04 - 08:02 PM

I am pretty sure that in the various packaging companies design departments there is a section which takes the design a bit further and adds the 'oh bugger' factor.

Just as you gently start to peal back the flaps or top it suddenly rips, causing you to jerk the carton and end up with the contents down your clothes.

Subject: RE: BS: Foreign Boxes
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jun 04 - 08:10 PM

JoHn:

If I weren't already charmed by and accustomed to your idiosyncratic styler of communication I'd be severely offput!! But as it is, I suggest you see if that modern invention known as "scissors" has arrived somewhere in Hull.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Foreign Boxes
From: GUEST
Date: 08 Jun 04 - 09:28 PM

Are they different from American boxers? Do you have the boxer brief kind?

Subject: RE: BS: Foreign Boxes
From: Peace
Date: 08 Jun 04 - 09:40 PM

Jaysus, Amos, don't go gettin' scissors into his hands with one of those boxes. JOhn, don't listen to 'im. His idea's rubbish, jOhn, rubbish!

Hey, jOhn, have you tried the juices that come in bottles?

Subject: RE: BS: Foreign Boxes
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 09 Jun 04 - 03:38 AM

Machete? clever ? katana ?


eric

Subject: RE: BS: Foreign Boxes
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Jun 04 - 04:00 AM

yeah, foreign boxers, foreign briefs..
suddenly i'm thinking of the goat..

Subject: RE: BS: Foreign Boxes
From: jacqui.c
Date: 09 Jun 04 - 05:58 AM

I'll go with Sinsull - the scissors come out every time with those cartons and I always cut both sides of the flap to allow for air flow when pouring - it does work.

I think I agree with Brucie on jOhn and a pair of scissors......... you're best off sticking to the Guinness jOhn - much less hazardous.

Subject: RE: BS: Foreign Boxes
From: greg stephens
Date: 09 Jun 04 - 06:11 AM

Stick to bear, JOhn. You dont what to mess around with that foreign juice from Europe.

Subject: RE: BS: Foreign Boxes
From: el ted
Date: 09 Jun 04 - 06:58 AM

They are still a hazard even after you have opened them, if you put them in the fridge door pockets, they slosh all over the place every time you shut the bloody fridge door.

Subject: RE: BS: Foreign Boxes
From: SueB
Date: 09 Jun 04 - 09:01 PM

If you don't like the boxes, jOhn, then definitely stay away from the juice "pouches." The instructions should read, "insert straw, enjoy shower."

Subject: RE: BS: Foreign Boxes
From: Sorcha
Date: 09 Jun 04 - 09:45 PM

ROF here!

Subject: RE: BS: Foreign Boxes
From: Blackcatter
Date: 10 Jun 04 - 01:24 AM

I'm in pain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've tried to avoid laughing for the past 2 weeks since I cracked 3 ribs and then I open up this thread.

STOP! You're killing me!

Subject: RE: BS: Foreign Boxes
From: Blackcatter
Date: 10 Jun 04 - 10:43 AM

Ok, ok,

You can start again!

Subject: RE: BS: Foreign Boxes
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 04 - 09:15 PM

I have never had a problem with opening the boxes. I carefully investigate them and then ask my wife to open them.

Subject: RE: BS: Foreign Boxes
From: jimmyt
Date: 10 Jun 04 - 09:35 PM

somehow I expected this thread to be from a Gynecologist in Nepal.

Subject: RE: BS: Foreign Boxes
From: Peace
Date: 13 Jun 04 - 12:23 PM

Has anyone heard from jOhn since Amos gave him that scissors idea?

Subject: RE: BS: Foreign Boxes
From: Megan L
Date: 13 Jun 04 - 12:38 PM

Amos ya ijit ye ken we dinny let johnny boy near onything sharp. Ok you check the polis stations I'll try the hospitals.

Subject: RE: BS: Foreign Boxes
From: Peace
Date: 13 Jun 04 - 02:56 PM

I first thought this thread was about a newly-discovered song by Malvina Reynolds.