Lyr ADD: Purity, Virtue and Chastity..(Guillotine)

Subject: Purity, Virtue and Chastity...
From: GUEST,AggieBethie
Date: 14 Mar 01 - 12:32 AM

Ok everyone, I need your help. I was bragging to a friend about how wonderful and smart everyone on Mudcat is and she said "Is that so, well see if they know this because I can't find it anywhere." So, here is my plea... does anyone know the words to the following song. She knows bits and pieces, but wants the whole thing. This is what she remembers:

There once was a king with daughters three/Purity, Virtue and Chastity...
Their father went to war, leaving purity, chastity, purity, chastity, purity and virtue...'
something about locking them in chastity belts 'with a nice strong lock and a blade to chop an intruder's --
derry down, derry down, derry down...'

the king comes back, 'orders each night to drop his pants
to see if each still had his lance, sing hey nonny nonny, no...'
And it winds up with Sir Nicholas being the only, um, whole knight left,
and the king offers him his daughter and land, and Sir Nicholas doesn't have a /tongue/ anymore. Um. :)"

P.S. For the wenches out there... she is Rose Wench #42 :-)

Thanks everyone.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Purity, Virtue and Chastity...
From: Joe Offer
Date: 14 Mar 01 - 02:06 AM

This, being the Mudcat Cafe and Source of All Knowledge and Wisdom, has it here (click). I really should have left this pleasure to MMario, who posted it in the first place. AggieBethie, do a search for daughters three, and you will find at least ten titillating tidbits to tantalize your thoughts....

-Joe Offer-

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Thread #27917   Message #347012
Posted By: MMario
27-Nov-00 - 11:01 AM
Thread Name: Help: Help finding 'bawdy ballads?'
Subject: Lyr Add: THE GUILLOTINE

Huzzah! lookee what I found...

THE GUILLOTINE

Once there were princesses three,
Purity, Virtue and Chastity
Purity, Chastity, Purity, Chastity, Purity...
and Virtue

But their names did not agree,
with the lusty nature of the three
Their father would not trust to luck,
in warding off a royal . . .

Fa-la-la, fa-la-la, fa-la-la, fa-la-la,
fa-la-la, fa-la, la LA

The king welded on his daughters three,
belts to insure virginity
And in each belt was placed a lock,
with-a-blade-to-chop an intruders...

Diddle-dum, diddle-dee, diddle-dum, diddle-dee,
diddle-dum, no dummy he.

Off their father went to war,
leaving Purity, Chastity, Purity, Chastity, Purity,
and Virtue . . .

Fa-la-la, fa-la-la, fa-la-la, fa-la-la,
fa-la-la, fa-la, la LA

When the king returned from war,
He summoned his knights, all seven score
And ordered all to drop their pants,
to see if each still had his lance

Sing hey, nonny, nonny,nonny. . .
no

The king could not believe his eyes,
not one knight retained his prize
Save the brave and bold Sir Nick,
the one and only knight who had his...

Derry down, derry down, derry down, derry down,
derry down, hang derry derry down

"Nick," said the King, "as you have been true,
I give my kingdom half to you.
And one daughter to be wed,
what say you, Nick?"

And Sir Nick said:

Fa-wa-wa, fa-wa-wa, fa-wa-wa, fa-wa-wa,
fa-wa-wa, fa-wa,wa WA!!!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Purity, Virtue and Chastity...
From: GUEST,Nicholas Dollak (the good and true Sir Nick)
Date: 07 Aug 22 - 12:51 PM

Hi! I'm awfully late to this party, I see. I was actually looking for the lyrics myself to share with someone... in the hopes of not having to type the whole darn thing. >sigh< Well, here goes:

There once lived a king across the sea,
and this king had daughters three:
Purity, Chastity,
Purity, Chastity,
Purity... and Virtue.

But their names did NOT agree
with the lusty nature of the three.
The king could not trust a lock
to ward off an intruder's -
fa-la-la, fa-la-la, fa-la-la, fa-la-la
fa-la-la, la-di-da.

The king had made for his daughters three
belts to ensure virginity,
each one fitted with a blade so quick
to slice off an intruder's -
merry-may, merry-may,
merry-may, merry-may,
merry-may, tra-la-la.

The king went off to war,
(tucket of trumpets here)
leaving Purity, Chastity,
Purity, Chastity,
Purity... and Virtue.

(Instrumental passage)

The king returned from years of war,
called out his knights, all seven-score,
and ordered them to drop their pants
(slide-whistle)
to see which knight retained his lance -
With a hey, nonny-nonny - NONE.

The king could not believe his eyes!
Not one knight had kept his prize -
except for the good and true sir Rick (or Nick),
the only one who had his -
derry-dong, derry-dong,
derry-dong, derry-dong,
derry-dong hanging down.

The king said, "Sir Rick, you have been true.
Half my kingdom I give to you,
and one of my lovely daughters to wed.
What say you, Sir Richard?" - and Rick said:
"Fa-wa-wa, wa-wa-wa,
fa-wa-wa, wa-wa-wa,
fa-wa-wa, wa-wa-wa."