BS: Bear found hunting mushrooms!!! Yikes!!

Subject: BS: Bear found hunting mushrooms!!! Yikes!!
From: Bobert
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 05:06 PM

Yeah, so I lit out 'bout couple hours ago back in the woods and down the woods road that I made with the Kubuta a year before last, made it to the old loggin' road and decided I'd drop down into Gray Holler where there's a bunch of poplar trees under which the elusive morell,for some reason called mergals 'round these parts, mushrooms come up 'round this time of year...

Well, it's still to early fir them but I did dig up some nice moss and some winter green for our gardens...

Now Gray Holler logging road winds back about a mile and hooks into my logging road which I have named "5 Rock Road" becuase for pure navigational purposes I placed 5 rocks, one on top of another, to mark the roads... So I'm figuring that it would be alot easier to walk back home on Five Rock Road and look for mergals on the way home...

So I'm walkin' and looking down for the mergals and not topo sure what amde me look up--- The Lord looks after fools, drunks and kifs--- but I did and there not a 100 feet in front of me is a bout a 400 pound bear just staring right at me?!?!?!?.....

"Sheet Fire" is what came to mind but I figured that I better not say that to the bear in case it didn't like that kinda lahguage so...

I stops, of course, and say "Hey, bud, everything is cool here" as I started to slowly retrace me steps walking backward and saying, "Everything is cool"...

Well, he stared at me for the couple minutes it took me to walkbackwars and finally get to a bend in Five Rocak Road where I felt it safe to turn and walk frontwards back to Gray Holler loggin road and then back down it to a yet unnamed logging road that I need to clean out someday that has lots of falling trees on it but which takes me close to my road... Yeah, it was a full hour outta my way but what's aguy to do???

Tell ya what, I'm gonna ge me a sling/stap for my 410/22 and some punkin balls and gonna have that with me from now on when I go back there but for now I'll just repeat that...

...the Lord looks after fools, drunks and kids so I got triple coverage...

Whew!!!!!

B:~)

Subject: RE: BS: Bear found hunting mushrooms!!! Yikes!!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 05:13 PM

Did he find any B?

Subject: RE: BS: Bear found hunting mushrooms!!! Yikes!!
From: Ebbie
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 05:17 PM

Yikes. Funny thing is that the last couple of days I've been cogitating on whether I wanted to start a thread concerning encounters with animalia. Hey, think I'll go do that.

Mind if I take your story with me? Or perhaps you'll copy and paste it into the new thread? Cool.

Subject: RE: BS: Bear found hunting mushrooms!!! Yikes!!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 05:19 PM

I refuse to talk about my ex wives in public Ebbie:)

Subject: RE: BS: Bear found hunting mushrooms!!! Yikes!!
From: Megan L
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 05:28 PM

Hey he was a good Baptist bear the reason he stopped was to say grace.

Subject: RE: BS: Bear found hunting mushrooms!!! Yikes!!
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 05:34 PM

Now, Bobert, you shoot that bear with a pumpkin ball from a .410 and all you're gonna do is make him mad. And if he (or she) gits made, he or she is gonna make you EAT that .410/22, and without salt or sauce at that!

You did the right thing, and that ol' bar was more bothered by you than you think. So, here's whatcha do:

1. Git a 12 gauge shotgun and some of them expensive "bird bombs". You shoot (if you gotta shoot) right in front of the bear. Make the next round a 12 gauge slug, though, and iffen you gotta use that one make the sucker count. In fact, git a pump gun, take the plug outa the magazine, and make the next five rounds slugs.

or

2. Git one of them air horns they use on boats and at basketball games, the louder the better. This was suggested to me by a guy from Idaho Fish and Game, where they deal with bears all the time. The P-Vine can use it to call you home for dinner, to wash the dishes, scrub the floor, and so on when you ain't usin' it fer scaring bears all to hell.

Subject: RE: BS: Bear found hunting mushrooms!!! Yikes!!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 05:35 PM

Where I come from, the ladies give the men the horn.

G

Subject: RE: BS: Bear found hunting mushrooms!!! Yikes!!
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 05:38 PM

Oh yeah, I've been meanin' ta tell ya: in the last week we've been having mountain lions passin' through town. Couple were seen at the cemetery, three on the University campus, and a couple more were killed between to city exits on the Interstate. Fish and Game thinks these were all different cats.

Subject: RE: BS: Bear found hunting mushrooms!!! Yikes!!
From: Ebbie
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 05:43 PM

That use for a boat horn may well be true, Rap, but a friend gave me a first-person account about a horn he used.

He had cut his boat motor and drifted to shallow water when he saw a grizzly sow and two cubs grubbing in a rotten log. THey were ripping it apart and having a high old time.

He watched the oblivious family for a bit then on impulse reached for the horn and gave it a blast.

He says the sow went straight up and when she landed she was already splashing into the water to get to him.

He blesses his soul, he said, for his trusty engine.

Subject: RE: BS: Bear found hunting mushrooms!!! Yikes!!
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 05:48 PM

Well, personally I put more trust in a trusty 12 gauge. Not that I want to shoot a bear, mind you, but if it came to me or him I'd rather it was him.

When I first started here I was talked to a member of the Sierra Club, who was from LA and had just finished hiking around in the mountains west of town. I mentioned that I wanted to do some walking up there and this guy said, "Well, you'd better carry a gun, because there are things up in those hills!" (My unspoken response was, "No shit, Sherlock. And what did you expect? Cute widdle bunny-wunnies?")

Subject: RE: BS: Bear found hunting mushrooms!!! Yikes!!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 05:55 PM

I'd be pretty pissed to have an air horn go off like that. I can understand that bear's reaction!

Bobert, most black bears will simply run away if you scare them off. You know that. Was there something different about this one? I've stumbled upon them in the mountains many times (when I still lived in mountains) when it was blueberry and huckleberry season. Peaceful coexistence is what we aim for. Keep an eye on each other and go about what you were doing.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Bear found hunting mushrooms!!! Yikes!!
From: Ebbie
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 06:16 PM

I'm with you, Stilly. And Rap, it would be a pity to have to kill a mother sow due to one's own thoughtless act.

My friend did say that in retrospect it looked very funny.

Subject: RE: BS: Bear found hunting mushrooms!!! Yikes!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 06:32 PM

Yikes, Bobert! This is what I keep hoping I won't run into in the woods.

Quite the adrenalin rush, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Bear found hunting mushrooms!!! Yikes!!
From: SINSULL
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 06:58 PM

Ya big sissie! Ebbie shooed hers out with a broom!

Subject: RE: BS: Bear found hunting mushrooms!!! Yikes!!
From: Ebbie
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 07:01 PM

Ah, but I had no choice.

Subject: RE: BS: Bear found hunting mushrooms!!! Yikes!!
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 07:02 PM

I'd druther not shoo out a mountain lion with a broom...they've been coming into town recently.

Subject: RE: BS: Bear found hunting mushrooms!!! Yikes!!
From: Bobert
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 07:44 PM

Well, first of all I ain't into shooting no bears... But I feel that if I had to to save myself that I could defend myself with the 410/22... I sho nuff would have felt better today with it than without it...

But here's the kicker... I juts came in from an hour camped out in my ferrowing barn waiting on the terrorist groundhog that gets into my veggies to come out of his den and after an hour of waiting to get the perfect shot all I got was "click"???... I don't know if I hadn't pushed the firing pin lever down far enough to hit the 410 shell but he heard the click and by the time I re-cocked to the 22 all I in the way of a target was a groundhog on the run...

Now what if I had been with the bear and all I got was "click" when I needed "boom"??? Hmmmmmmmmm???

Another day in the life of Bobert...

B;~)

Subject: RE: BS: Bear found hunting mushrooms!!! Yikes!!
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 07:53 PM

wot a day, wot a life! so much more interesting than my inner city days & life.

The only livestock I get to see close up cockroaches & pigeons. Tho we do get real birds here, too - cockatoos & ravens - but they are city & park dwellers

Subject: RE: BS: Bear found hunting mushrooms!!! Yikes!!
From: Bee
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 08:54 PM

Cool, Bobert! That's the way to kickstart yer heart on a nice little stroll in the woods.

Subject: RE: BS: Bear found hunting mushrooms!!! Yikes!!
From: pdq
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 08:58 PM

"Bear found hunting mushrooms!"

Did he find any?

Was he wearing pajamas?

Subject: RE: BS: Bear found hunting mushrooms!!! Yikes!!
From: Bobert
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 09:02 PM

Shoot, Bee... My heart was just fine until the bear... Whew!!! Thing been going a mile a minute ever since...

I don't do too well with 400 pound critters eith big teeth and sharp claws...

But I'll work on it...

B;~)

Subject: RE: BS: Bear found hunting mushrooms!!! Yikes!!
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 09:10 PM

Well, don't trim yer toenails. Then you and him can fight it out equal-like.

Go down to yer local huntin-fishin-trappin emporium. Git yerself some of that essence de skunk they sell there so that dumb folks can use it to cover up their scent with somethin' worse. Iffen that ol' bear charges you, whip out yer little spray bottle and squirt him with it.

Helps it the wind is from you and t'wards the bear, too.

'Course, the P-Vine might make you sleep in the shed fer a month er two....

Subject: RE: BS: Bear found hunting mushrooms!!! Yikes!!
From: Bobert
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 09:11 PM

Ummmm, no pajamas as fae as I could tell, pdq-zer...I really didn't get close enough to see if it had a breaadsack full of mergals...

But wait... I'll duct tape a flashlight onto my head and go back in the woods and see iof I can find that sumabich and get them answers... Might not be back here fur awhile...

B;~)

Subject: RE: BS: Bear found hunting mushrooms!!! Yikes!!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 11:08 PM

We'll wait.

Subject: RE: BS: Bear found hunting mushrooms!!! Yikes!!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 10 Apr 08 - 03:31 AM

I hope that last post comes with an escape claws Bobert!

G

Subject: RE: BS: Bare hunting mushrooms!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 10 Apr 08 - 03:34 AM

Here
G

Subject: RE: BS: Bear found hunting mushrooms!!! Yikes!!
From: Megan L
Date: 10 Apr 08 - 03:52 AM

Whit a big girls blouse imagine wearin an apron tae fry a few mushrooms

Subject: RE: BS: Bear found hunting mushrooms!!! Yikes!!
From: Megan L
Date: 10 Apr 08 - 03:53 AM

S fur you McKenzie SKELP fur even kennin whaur tae find thon clip

Subject: RE: BS: Bear found hunting mushrooms!!! Yikes!!
From: JennieG
Date: 10 Apr 08 - 04:06 AM

Was the bear waltzing?

Sorry, but I had to ask........

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Bear found hunting mushrooms!!! Yikes!!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 10 Apr 08 - 04:25 AM

With Simon Smith was that Jennie?

G

Subject: RE: BS: Bear found hunting mushrooms!!! Yikes!!
From: Rusty Dobro
Date: 10 Apr 08 - 04:45 AM

'If you go down in the woods today, you're sure of a big surprise......'

Subject: RE: BS: Bear found hunting mushrooms!!! Yikes!!
From: Bobert
Date: 10 Apr 08 - 07:44 AM

Hmmnmmmmm??? And to think that I was just about to throw out that WW II gas mask that I've held on to for so many years???

Thanks, G-Man... I think this will get Mr. Bear's attention... Not too sure about the horse mask... I gotta a Frankenstein Holloween mask that I think will go great with the gas mask jock strap...

Oh, I can't wait...

Pics later...

B;~)