BS: Cruising the Maine Coast: Regrets

Subject: BS: Cruising the Maine Coast: Regrets
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jul 09 - 08:24 AM

Mr. Rapaire
sincerely regrets
that
due to his forthcoming surgery
he will not be
stimulating the economy
of the Coast of Maine
by a cruise this year,
dang it.

Subject: RE: BS: Cruising the Maine Coast: Regrets
From: SINSULL
Date: 07 Jul 09 - 08:48 AM

Damn, Rap. We were counting on your dollars to pull Maine out of this economic mess! What surgery?
SINS

Subject: RE: BS: Cruising the Maine Coast: Regrets
From: jacqui.c
Date: 07 Jul 09 - 09:52 AM

What a shame. What surgery?

Subject: RE: BS: Cruising the Maine Coast: Regrets
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jul 09 - 09:54 AM

Excision of cranial material from LGI.
Or vice-versa. I forget.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Cruising the Maine Coast: Regrets
From: frogprince
Date: 07 Jul 09 - 10:04 AM

Something about his being removed from the rotary club, or something like that...

Subject: RE: BS: Cruising the Maine Coast: Regrets
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jul 09 - 11:20 AM

Oh, nothing, really. A rotator cuff tear I suffered when I saved Mother Teresa from an attack by a gang of drug-crazed motorcycle gangsters who were high on PCP-laced meth.

Subject: RE: BS: Cruising the Maine Coast: Regrets
From: SINSULL
Date: 07 Jul 09 - 12:58 PM

Fell off the porch in a drunken stupor? At least you didn't land on your sword.

Subject: RE: BS: Cruising the Maine Coast: Regrets
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jul 09 - 01:05 PM

Sort of, actually. I lost my balance on a curb wheelchair cut and decided to land on my shoulder rather than bring down the entire restaurant by hitting a stone pillar with my head.

Subject: RE: BS: Cruising the Maine Coast: Regrets
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jul 09 - 01:08 PM

Such an obdurate sacrifice!! Who knew our humble towne librarian was such a man of metal underneath his unassuming exterior!


A

Subject: RE: BS: Cruising the Maine Coast: Regrets
From: Charley Noble
Date: 07 Jul 09 - 05:23 PM

Rapaire-

We'll just have to have the brawl at the Maine Maritime Museum, Sunday, August 16th, without you. But it won't be the same.

Have you thought of what jokes you want to share with your surgeon?

How about one of the virgin surgeon limericks?

Cheerily,
CharleyNoble

Subject: RE: BS: Cruising the Maine Coast: Regrets
From: gnu
Date: 07 Jul 09 - 05:28 PM

The virgin sturgeon surgeon who couldn't roe the boat properly?

Subject: RE: BS: Cruising the Maine Coast: Regrets
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jul 09 - 05:33 PM

I'm just beginning to shoulder that burden and mentally cuff it around a bit. In the past It's been something like, "Now, doc..." and the next thing I know it's a couple hours later and I'm in the recovery room with some part of my body embroidered.

Subject: RE: BS: Cruising the Maine Coast: Regrets
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jul 09 - 05:36 PM

Demand a fancy, decorative stitch as a repeat customer. Otherwise, threaten to hold their bill at arm's length.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Cruising the Maine Coast: Regrets
From: gnu
Date: 07 Jul 09 - 05:44 PM

Stiff arm em!

Subject: RE: BS: Cruising the Maine Coast: Regrets
From: Charley Noble
Date: 07 Jul 09 - 07:24 PM

The Surgeon's Ditty

Oh what'll I do with a rotator cuff tear?
What'll I do with a rotator cuff tear?
Rotator cuff tear, vacation in Saint Pierre,
And all manner of flings!

The surgeon is the king of the spree,
The surgeon is the one for me!
Now give me some green,
Now give me some green,
Now give me some green, me patient-o!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Cruising the Maine Coast: Regrets
From: Amergin
Date: 07 Jul 09 - 10:16 PM

I went to see a doctor a couple of months ago because of an ear infection i let go for several months....for allergies I listed police....he thought that was hilarious...

Subject: RE: BS: Cruising the Maine Coast: Regrets
From: olddude
Date: 08 Jul 09 - 02:44 PM

Now I heard it was a bar fight ...
swinging that louisville slugger too hard at a biker who had an overdo book

Subject: RE: BS: Cruising the Maine Coast: Regrets
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jul 09 - 03:40 PM

LEt me remind Rapaire that the good ship Victory Chimes -- the most classic of all Maine schooners (though some insist she is a ram)-- is still for sale for something over 1.1M US. A worthy career change for a man who yearns to cruise the coast of Maine and is weary of books.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Cruising the Maine Coast: Regrets
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jul 09 - 03:51 PM

Sailing the Victory Chimes.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Cruising the Maine Coast: Regrets
From: GUEST,Neil D
Date: 08 Jul 09 - 03:59 PM

Ask your Doctor if you'll be able to play the fiddle after the surgery. When he says yes say "that's great because I couldn't play it before". Really old joke but you'll probably catch him on it.

Subject: RE: BS: Cruising the Maine Coast: Regrets
From: JennieG
Date: 08 Jul 09 - 07:17 PM

Rap, I thought your wife was a quilter - doesn't she have needle and thread? You could save a heap of money by doing it yourself.

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Cruising the Maine Coast: Regrets
From: maeve
Date: 09 Jul 09 - 10:28 AM

Subject: RE: BS: Cruising the Maine Coast: Regrets
From: maeve - PM
Date: 09 Jul 09 - 10:18 AM

That was knotty, Jennie G; might even be sewn as a thread. Rapaire has sword he'll be repaired from his Tumbling Blocks that threw him such a Monkey Wrench and left him with Job's Troubles and Job's Tears. The lawyer types standing around on the Courthouse Steps are still undecided whether it will be a Drunkard's Path or a Trip Around The World. Either way he's had a World Without End of trouble.

It's obvious he'll have to Rob Peter to Pay Paul so it will be a Rocky Road to California especially if he still wishes to visit Maine, the Garden of Eden. He'll need to take the Ship's Wheel and follow the Flying Geese for many yards over the Ocean Waves. We'll feed him Corn and Beans on a Dresden Plate out in the Friendship Garden, with the Birds in the Air circling around for scraps.

When he's Broken Dishes with #10 sharps stabbing puns, we'll give him the ol' Bear Paw and let him make Turkey Tracks back home like the Arkansas Traveller he is, by the light of the Ohio Star.

maeve


PS Best wishes for your surgery, Rapaire. I was looking forward to meeting you. m

Subject: RE: BS: Cruising the Maine Coast: Regrets
From: katlaughing
Date: 09 Jul 09 - 10:52 AM

LOL, maeve. Well done!!

Sorry you had to miss out on the Maine Attraction, Repaire!

Subject: RE: BS: Cruising the Maine Coast: Regrets
From: maeve
Date: 10 Jul 09 - 10:27 AM

Maybe next year?

m

Subject: RE: BS: Cruising the Maine Coast: Regrets
From: Charley Noble
Date: 10 Jul 09 - 08:33 PM

Well, you're all invited to replace Rapaire on the Maine cruise. Besides need an audience for Roll & Go's performance at the Maine Maritime Museum (where the cruise stops for the night), Sunday, August 16, and we were counting on him to convince the other travelers to attend as well.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Cruising the Maine Coast: Regrets
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jul 09 - 11:02 PM

I don't think it is wise to ask anyone to replace him as he is very sensitive to imagined slights to his putative honor and has a zealous if inaccurate habit of calling people out to name their seconds at the slightest provocation, and conceives himself irreplaceable in all dimensions. But go ahead, if you must...


A

Subject: RE: BS: Cruising the Maine Coast: Regrets
From: Bill D
Date: 11 Jul 09 - 12:02 AM

Before going in, superglue a wood chip to the OTHER side, and reply to questions..."why, that's always been there. You will replace the one I accidentally knocked off, won't you?"

(so...best I could do...it's 12:03AM here..)

Subject: RE: BS: Cruising the Maine Coast: Regrets
From: Hollowfox
Date: 11 Jul 09 - 02:06 PM

I hope the surgery goes smoothly and the medical macrame looks good afterward. I'll fire uo a $#@!-reduction candle tonight after work. Hollowfox, the pyrophilic librarian

Subject: RE: BS: Cruising the Maine Coast: Regrets
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jul 09 - 10:41 AM

Well, it's on the 22nd, so that candle will reduce a whole lot of it.

I just hope that when I get out I still cannot play the guitar.

Subject: RE: BS: Cruising the Maine Coast: Regrets
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jul 09 - 10:49 AM

Such a shame that your attitude toward such a heroic, romantic, useful and delightful instrument should be so barbarously ill-informed, sir. Perhaps, as often happens, you will come to your senses as a result of your visitation with Lethe.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Cruising the Maine Coast: Regrets
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jul 09 - 11:51 AM

Lethe is the River of Forgetfulness, Amos. I doubt that I can ever forget that the TRUMPET is the ne plus ultra of instruments. As I have said before, no one expects a D7 chord to announce the end of the world, nor did the walls of Jericho tumble as the banjoists marched around them. Accordions did not introduce the entry of great kings and nobles. Nay, it is the TRUMPET which rules them all, ably assisted by the noble drum.

Subject: RE: BS: Cruising the Maine Coast: Regrets
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jul 09 - 12:17 PM

Your reasoning seems to confuse beauty with penetration--a somewhat adolescent error, if I may say so. ANd not untypical of military men, whose delicate psyches have been rolled up and forced into small, angry spaces as a routine part of thjeir training.


A