BS: No peace in the smallest room.....

Subject: BS: No peace in the smallest room.....
From: Shanghaiceltic
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 05:48 AM

Technology gone mad or what????

Who's voice would you want and what should they say?

Mine would be the old dog lady Barbara Woodhouse simply saying 'Sit!!'

The technology does not seem to solve the problem of someone using the loo standing with the seat down. Unless there is a camera too!!!! Is no where safe anymore?

German men told they can no longer stand and deliver
By Kate Connolly
(Filed: 18/08/2004)


German men are being shamed into urinating while sitting down by a gadget which is saving millions of women from cleaning up in the bathroom after them.

The WC ghost, a £6 voice-alarm, reprimands men for standing at the lavatory pan. It is triggered when the seat is lifted. The battery-operated devices are attached to the seats and deliver stern warnings to those who attempt to stand and urinate (known as "Stehpinkeln").

"Hey, stand-peeing is not allowed here and will be punished with fines, so if you don't want any trouble, you'd best sit down," one of the devices orders in a voice impersonating the German leader, Chancellor Gerhard Schroder. Another has a voice similar to that of his predecessor, Helmut Kohl.

The manufacturers of the WC ghost, Patentwert, say they are ready to direct their gadgets at the British market.

Their prototype English-speaking WC ghost says in an American drawl: "Don't you go wetting this floor cowboy, you never know who's behind you. So sit down, get your water pistol in the bowl where it belongs. Ha, ha, ha."

They also plan to copy the voices of Tony Blair and the Queen.

So far 1.8 million WC ghosts have been sold in German supermarkets.

But Klaus Schwerma, author of Standing Urinators: The Last Bastion of Masculinity? doubts whether it will ever be possible to convert all men.

"Many insist on standing, even though it leads to much marital strife," he said.

In German, the phrase for someone who sits and urinates, a "Sitzpinkler", is equivalent to "wimp".

Subject: RE: BS: No peace in the smallest room.....
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 06:18 AM

The essential problem is (and I risk being indelicate) that once you get a bit of a belly (even a little one), you can't see your, er, water pistol. Since most of us fondly believe it's rather longer than it really is, we don't stand close enough; the upshot (downshot?) is that when we shake off the drips they don't go where we expect them too (and we can't see where they do go, either).

I think a more acceptable solution might to have two pressure-sensitive footprints clearly marked in the correct position, which will give you an "OK" message when you stand on them, and cancel the "not OK" message.

Or maybe just educate people...?

Subject: RE: BS: No peace in the smallest room.....
From: JennyO
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 06:38 AM

And what happens when we women lift the lid to clean the bowl? Do we have to listen to this voice all the time we are cleaning the loo? Much as I would like men to sit down, I think this is a stupid idea. I can't see it catching on in Oz.

Subject: RE: BS: No peace in the smallest room.....
From: Amos
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 07:15 AM

Ridicule is too fine a fate....Jenny's right about this being a stupid idea. Are these people re-arming?????

Tell ya what Jenny -- I'll use my point-and-click interface the way it was designed and if I slosh I'll clean it up meself.

Howzat?



A

Subject: RE: BS: No peace in the smallest room.....
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 07:46 AM

I love this!! It's perfect. Really. But only when you're young, so it can be your mother's loving voice gently reminding you of either aiming better ("Good shot, dear!") or sitting down instead ("Now, isn't that more comfy?")

Listen, Amos, this would be a moot point (or as Joey Tribioni used to say; "a Moo point") if ALL youse guys cleaned up after yerselves. Then us gals would be jez fine and dandy and have not a leg to stand on, as it were.

( Amos,yours points and clicks?? Wow. And obviously it's got automatic focus too?)

..xx..e

Subject: RE: BS: No peace in the smallest room.....
From: Billy the Bus
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 07:52 AM

G;day Shanghaiceltic = Quite Frankly mate - Technlogy is no worse than half a century back. You'll find some approproate comments on this Mudcat Thread. Mumble.... Don't use my voice unless you move to the other hole = I'M PAINTING DOWN HERE

=From the bottom of the Dunny - Sam

Subject: RE: BS: No peace in the smallest room.....
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 10:08 AM

I once read a novel by Evan Hunter, and the protagonist was a high-powered lawyer from New York. He sat down to urinate, and when his wife asked him why, he said, "It's my only chance to rest."

Keep this in mind the next time somebody implies that the man who sits is less than a man.

Subject: RE: BS: No peace in the smallest room.....
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 10:14 AM

I can recall several times when I have peed sitting down and managed to get it through the gap between the seat and the pan - this often happens if you haven't quite got rid of an errection. It makes a hell of a lot more mess then being slightly off aim standing.

Subject: RE: BS: No peace in the smallest room.....
From: mack/misophist
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 10:18 AM

These things must be popular as hell. A few weeks ago I saw a similar article and sales were at a ¼ million.

Subject: RE: BS: No peace in the smallest room.....
From: GUEST,SueB
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 11:52 AM

The best thing is that the Germans actually have terms for men who sit and men who don't - German is a wonderful language.

Why not equip your bathroom with both a urinal AND a throne? Why are we so mean about our bathroom furnishings? Is it the Puritan in us?

And why is it considered unmanly to sit for one 'event' but not the other? Imagine if they were required to stand for both in order to preserve their masculinity.

If you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be neat - wipe the seat, dear. Have your mother-in-law record this in her pissiest voice, and rig up a device which will play it automatically whenever your guy approaches the throne. This ought to inhibit peeing altogether for your man - soon he will be going outside to piss - problem solved.

Subject: RE: BS: No peace in the smallest room.....
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 12:04 PM

JennyO, let the men clean the loo and listen to the lecture!

My fear is that this will simply make a bad thing worse, and men will pee through the hole in the seat rather than lifting in now, virtually assuring the seat is in the splash zone.

There's a sign seen in unisex bathrooms in some bars:

We aim to please,
You aim too, please.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: No peace in the smallest room.....
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 12:05 PM

Don't use the toilet. Go outside and piss on the compost pile so all that nitrogen can be returned to Mother Nature where it belongs. Your plants will thank you.

Subject: RE: BS: No peace in the smallest room.....
From: Cluin
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 12:33 PM

If she's displeased with my aim, she's perfectly welcome to come in and aim it for me.

Subject: RE: BS: No peace in the smallest room.....
From: GUEST,SueB
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 12:41 PM

My God, is there no end to the services we're expected to provide...

Subject: RE: BS: No peace in the smallest room.....
From: Cluin
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 01:21 PM

Not expected. Let's say "appreciated".

Subject: RE: BS: No peace in the smallest room.....
From: SINSULL
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 01:27 PM

Now if only they could modify it to say "Scat Cat, no drinking out of the toilet!" Between the drips and dirty foot prints it's worse than having a man around.

Subject: RE: BS: No peace in the smallest room.....
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 02:15 PM

Cluin, if she were there to help you, you'd pee up the wall until the valve shut itself off. . .   ;-D

Subject: RE: BS: No peace in the smallest room.....
From: Rabbi-Sol
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 02:39 PM

I have been in one public rest room where the sign reads;
    Our Aim is to keep this place clean.
    Your aim will help.
The problem with many of our public toilets here in the USA is that they are so filthy to begin with, that if you could avoid sitting down altogether, it is a lot more sanitary for the individual user. Also, men are lazy by nature. It is a lot easier just to pull down a zipper rather than to undo your belt and have to pull down both, trousers as well as under shorts. SOL ZELLER

Subject: RE: BS: No peace in the smallest room.....
From: Sorcha
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 03:23 PM

LOL! All this is just too good! I can't believe it! ROF! A little known fact seems to be that the ladies can kinda squirt out from between the seat and the bowl....then it runs down the bowl....LOL! And, hey, the stuff is sterile.....why worry?

Subject: RE: BS: No peace in the smallest room.....
From: Don Firth
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 03:35 PM

Quentin Crisp commented that, in the course of taking a pee in a public facility, should he notice that someone is watching him, he should "try to pee with style."

Two men walking across the Golden Gate bridge at midnight stop to take a pee. As they stand there relieving themselves, one says, "Man, that water is really cold!" The other responds, "Yeah! Deep, too!"

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: No peace in the smallest room.....
From: mg
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 03:40 PM

SueB is right..why not just have urinals. And most houses now have two bathrooms..how about one male, one female..or if you have the money, bathrooms for each outside the master bedroom (bad feng shui to have bathrooms en suite). Men and women should not have to share bathrooms and don't get me going about public bathrooms...mg

Subject: RE: BS: No peace in the smallest room.....
From: Kim C
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 04:32 PM

Is that story for real, or is it from The Onion?

Subject: RE: BS: No peace in the smallest room.....
From: Cluin
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 06:07 PM

Stilly, you been spyin' on me!

Subject: RE: BS: No peace in the smallest room.....
From: Joybell
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 06:42 PM

A bit of a side-track, but do other places have those signs on the hand-dyer that say, "FOR DRYING HANDS ONLY" ?
I love that!
What a wonderful image of someone standing on their head so as to dry other bits!
Has anyone tried that by the way? Joy

Subject: RE: BS: No peace in the smallest room.....
From: wysiwyg
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 06:44 PM

Und show me your toilet papersss!

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: No peace in the smallest room.....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 06:46 PM

Joybell,

I think the intent is more to have them NOT used for faces and other upper body parts- they have always been mounted fairly high up on the wall, as far as I have seen.

btw, I have saved some VC and will take your CDs to the Getaway- and we will eat Reese's PB cups in your honor...

Subject: RE: BS: No peace in the smallest room.....
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 06:50 PM

Joybell, you've never stopped at a highway rest area for a quick sponge bath and washed your hair in the sink?

Subject: RE: BS: No peace in the smallest room.....
From: Rabbi-Sol
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 06:56 PM

Two years ago I attended a coffeehouse concert at a venue in Mt. Kisco, (Westchester County), N.Y. The urinal in the men's room was mounted so high on the wall, that you had to be an NBA star to use it. Anyone else could have washed their face in it. We all had to wait our turns at the bowl instead. SOL ZELLER

Subject: RE: BS: No peace in the smallest room.....
From: Sorcha
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 07:45 PM

Sol, LOL at that.....I have washed my hair in the basin and dried it in the hand dryer....I have also just warmed up cold hands in the hand dryer so I could fiddle around some more....LOL! Nobody wants cold hands.......

Subject: RE: BS: No peace in the smallest room.....
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 08:17 PM

Nobody wants cold hands.......

especially Cluin, the way he operates!

Subject: RE: BS: No peace in the smallest room.....
From: Joybell
Date: 19 Aug 04 - 06:56 PM

Yes I know that's what it's supposed to mean, but the image of someone drying their hair is boring! I still like it my way. Joy

Subject: RE: BS: No peace in the smallest room.....
From: Cluin
Date: 19 Aug 04 - 07:42 PM

Cold hands, warm heart.


And apparently you all haven't seen the Mr. Bean movie... see?

Subject: RE: BS: No peace in the smallest room.....
From: Shanghaiceltic
Date: 19 Aug 04 - 08:29 PM

When I lived in Japan a friend of mine (Japanese) had a sound system in his loo to cover embarassing noises. His loo was also hi-tech, first time I used it I hit a button my mistake and was treated to a bidet flush and warm air blow dry.