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BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!!
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Subject: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Bobert Date: 09 Feb 10 - 05:47 PM Well, seein' as Snow-mageddon is upon us and Donuel has predicted that my roof will collapse on me and the P-Vine tonight durin' Blizzard #3 of the season I figurated that I might as well make ammends... So... First of all, I do loves all the Mudwomenz from the bottom of my poor ol' hillbilly heart... I mean, I loves 'um no matter what... I even loves the ones that has kicked my butt on occasion... (That's all of them, Bobz...) Now as for the Mudboyz??? Hmmmmmm??? The ones that I love know it but I must confess to not, ahhhhhh, lovin' all of 'um... Yeah, I know I should... Says "Love the sinner, not the sin" but, to be frank, some of the guys here just ain't all that lovable... Know what I mean... I mean, I ain't tryin' to mean 'er nuthin' but hard to love a jerk... But back to the Mudwomenz... I mean, even if it wasn't Valentines Day right around the corner it wouldn't matter 'cause if yer a Mudwomenz then I loves you and that's that, Valentines Day aside... Sniff... Bobert |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 09 Feb 10 - 05:49 PM All of them??? Do their husbands know? |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: CarolC Date: 09 Feb 10 - 05:51 PM If you're worried about the roof collapsing, you could always sleep under the bed. Or you could go shovel the last two snow falls off of the roof before any more comes down. |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Amos Date: 09 Feb 10 - 06:10 PM Aw, Carol, don't be hard on the boy. He can't get his tractor up there... A |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Amergin Date: 09 Feb 10 - 06:12 PM Viagra would probably cure that, Amos.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Bobert Date: 09 Feb 10 - 06:23 PM Yeah, I put a little Viagra in the hydrauic oil one time... Couldn't get the bucket down fir two weeks... |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: SINSULL Date: 09 Feb 10 - 06:25 PM Thank you, Bobert. That is very sweet. SINS |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Bill D Date: 09 Feb 10 - 06:27 PM "Couldn't get the bucket down fir two weeks.." If you experience a bucket that stays up more than 4 weeks, call a mechanic. |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: gnu Date: 09 Feb 10 - 06:28 PM Sweet? The guy accused me a suckin up and bein a wimp and now this? Sweet as sour. |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: JennieG Date: 09 Feb 10 - 06:38 PM Bobert, you have made me all sniffly too.......would you like some of our Oz sunshine to melt the snow? It's summer here, we have a surplus of sun. Cheers JennieG |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: jacqui.c Date: 09 Feb 10 - 07:07 PM Ah Bobert - that really is lovely. You know we loves you too. |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: GUEST,leeneia Date: 09 Feb 10 - 07:20 PM So Bobert what you are trying to say is, you like your woman big. Mudcat woman only come in two sizes Large and Extra large. ;) |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: SINSULL Date: 09 Feb 10 - 07:22 PM Actually there are a few tiny ones but they pad their butts when Beau's around. |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Bobert Date: 09 Feb 10 - 07:41 PM Ahhhhhh, glad you brought it up, leeneia... Well, not exactly glad but it's okay... There's a place fir skinny womenz *butt* ya see, I'm a bluesman and there's somethin' about a full figured womanz that fits real groovey with the blues... Yezzir... *Butt* it don't matter... If you is a skinny Mudwomenz then I loves you, too... I sho nuff do an' don't want ya'll boney womenz to feel like you is some kinda freak show... No mam... The say the meat better closer to the bone... Never knew what that meant but I think it's about boney womenz... Now as fir me suckin' up??? Gn-zie is right in some respects... But it really ain't suckin' up as much as just bein' willin' to testify... I mean, I am ready to testify... Now that's could be suckin' up 'er not depending on ones motives... Mine is pure as the snow that Donuel says is gonna bury me tonight... That's all I wnated to say... Sniff... Yeah, Gennie-Gee... Bottle up some of that down-unner sunshine and send it up here... Ol' Boberdz feeelin' a little bluesy tonight... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: ragdall Date: 09 Feb 10 - 07:54 PM Bobert, That is very sweet. If your roof collapses let me know and I'll send my St. Bernard with a keg of Brandy. rags |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: GUEST,leeneia Date: 09 Feb 10 - 08:04 PM Fashion and show business is filled with a tiny unrepresentative sample of thin women with artificial breasts. The folkie world offers a variety of shapes and sizes and better, more beautiful real women. Women who have hips and thighs and feminine curves and couldn't care less what they wear. Most have natural breasts big enough to make ear muffs out of. Women with no fat are not attractive. Women with no fat only appeal to photographers and gay men looking for a female to model their clothes or whatever else they are selling. |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Bobert Date: 09 Feb 10 - 08:43 PM Yes, mam... Ifuly agree with that statement... Now the P-Vine, she ain't all the full figurated as many who have met her will attest to... She ain't Twiggy either... I mean, I loves the gal but she wouldn't make it in "Boberts Blues Band" either... Might of fact, I was a little disappointed this past Getaway... I mean, Janie ain't exactly full 'nuff herself... We gonna have to do better next year... I know that there is some Mudwomenz that got that thing goin' but they ain't showin'... That gotta change... I mean, last year we had some fine, fine fullness... But, hey, this ain't about big butted womenz... Like I said, if you is a Mudwomenz then ol' hillbilly loves you... Okay, you don't have to be a Mudwomenz... For a "limited time only" ol' hillbilly is gonna extend his love to family members of Mudwomenz... Ya' hear that, Mom??? B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: maire-aine Date: 09 Feb 10 - 11:16 PM Thank you, Bobert. However you say, it comes out sounding sweet. Maryanne |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: JohnInKansas Date: 10 Feb 10 - 01:15 PM Or you could go shovel the last two snow falls off of the roof If you've got an access hole to your attic(s) just open up the hole and crank up the furnace. If you've got normal kinds of insulation, the snow on the roof should melt fairly rapidly, to run down and make ice dams in all the gutters. This may rip all the gutters off (possible taking some bits of roof along) but at least the big pieces won't squash you. Of course, if you've got a flat roof you may need to poke a small hole in the ceiling to let the melt water drain off. (I'm a bit surprised that you haven't already received a number of other John |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: VirginiaTam Date: 10 Feb 10 - 02:14 PM Good grief! I cannot believe you other womenz fell for this ploy! Bobert just wants us all to do a meditation focus on him. He is hoping that the warmth and energy we radiate in his direction will melt the snow on his roof, so he won't have to deal with it. tam ....... on the verge of fits o screamia..... |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Desert Dancer Date: 10 Feb 10 - 02:25 PM Tam, I s'pose suggesting you "chill out" would not be found helpful at this time... ~ Becky in Tucson, where it's snowing at 9000 feet (just outside town), but only preparing to rain down here at ~2500 feet. |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: SINSULL Date: 10 Feb 10 - 02:29 PM Re: the roof. I took gnu's suggestion a couple of years back and filled panti-hose with salt, then tossed them on the roof. Neighbors thought I was a mass murderer. Very weird. Even weirder when the snow melted and washed the half filled pantihose onto the proch. |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Amos Date: 10 Feb 10 - 02:37 PM Hair dryers, dude!! Round up a coupla hundred and fire 'em up every few feet along the gutter and the ridge. That ole snow will be gone in no time. Weather permitting, you can use solar panels to run...oh, never mind... A |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: VirginiaTam Date: 10 Feb 10 - 03:27 PM oh... alright... then I officially submit retraction of my last post and humbly beg Bobert's forgiveness. tam.... still thinking this thread is more about the problem of snow on Bobert's roof and not so much about his unwavering affections for mudwomen. |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: gnu Date: 10 Feb 10 - 04:53 PM SINS.... an "ice melter" of whatever. NOT "salt"... not sodium chloride. Calcium chloride... urea... whatever. The shops here carry many "concrete friendly" ice melters. Do NOT use "salt". It will eat the asphalt in yer shingles if you have asphaltic shingles. Of course, if you have to make a choice between using "salt" and getting water damage in your ceilings and walls.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Ebbie Date: 10 Feb 10 - 05:33 PM This made me laugh: Thought for the day: Women are Angels And when someone breaks our wings.... We simply continue to fly..........on a broomstick... We are flexible like that .... |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: JohnInKansas Date: 10 Feb 10 - 05:40 PM As to Boberts "motivation," he probably just read this article. He knows where he's at, and he's just hoping to get the womenz in synch. John |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: gnu Date: 10 Feb 10 - 06:09 PM John... "Men who reported feeling turned on tended to also sport an erection, while a matchup between the mind and body wasn't so consistent for women,..." Rather sporting of them? And, the study was at Queen's U. Which... I'll stop there. Youse read it... read in... |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 10 Feb 10 - 06:19 PM Chongo has confided in me that male chimps may experience sexual arousal when perusing photos of a great many things. Some examples are: female chimps, female apes of several other closely related species, female humans (MAJOR spike on the graph!), lipstick applicators, feminine apparel, Victoria's Secret catalogs, fresh fruit, a nice scenic view, tall buildings, fast cars, pinstripe suits, a baseball stadium, a bottle of whiskey, a Cuban cigar, and a well-oiled gun... He says that his favorite Beatles song is "Happiness Is A Warm Gun". |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Bobert Date: 10 Feb 10 - 06:42 PM Well, danged... This thing ain't about sex, ya'll... It's about womenz... Yeah, okay, I like sex, too but this ain't about that.... It's about the way womenz is... Ya'll know what I mean, don't ya'??? Well, I do and that's all that counts... (Danged, Boberdz... Bunch of hoeney guys here, ain't there... Ya' can't even say ya loves someone without them thinkin' sex...) Yeah, seems that's 'bout right... But not me... I got the P-Vine fir sex and, ahhhhhh, that's 'bout all the sex I wants 'er needs... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Bobert Date: 10 Feb 10 - 06:44 PM That didn't come out right... I mean, I got the P-Vine fir lots of things other than sex, too... ('Bout stepped in it there, Boberdz...) Yeah, I did... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 10 Feb 10 - 06:45 PM Chongo says he is right sorry about ruffling yer feathers there, Bobert, but he just kind of got off on another subject. You know how that can happen... |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: SINSULL Date: 10 Feb 10 - 06:46 PM Calcium chloride is what I used. I still looked like mass murderer with body parts on my roof and porch. Urea? Oh piss on it! |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: GUEST,leeneia Date: 10 Feb 10 - 06:51 PM We understand what you mean Bobert, slight case of "Foot in Mouth". At least we know where we stand with you, always the gent ;). Some guy from Reading added me on Facebook last weekend, next thing he sent me a message asking me did I own a suspender belt! |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: JohnInKansas Date: 10 Feb 10 - 07:55 PM gnu - Calcium chloride... urea... whatever. but don't throw calcium carbide on the roof, especially if it's wet. John |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Bobert Date: 10 Feb 10 - 08:40 PM Listen to John... Ahhhhh, nevermind... What does this have to do with lovin' the Mudwomenz, anyway... I demand a recount!!! B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Genie Date: 10 Feb 10 - 08:50 PM Bobert, methinks mebbe ya needs to git up on thet thar roof an' play some hot blues to melt all thet cold white stuff. Butt thanks fer sayin' ya "do loves all the Mudwomenz from the bottom of my poor ol' hillbilly heart... I mean, I loves 'um no matter what... I even loves the ones that has kicked my butt on occasion." (Wonders to self: Mebbe he luvs those occasions even more?) As fer Janie not being big-bottomed enuf fer a true floozie, not to worry. I plan to make it to this year's Getaway and bring enough excess posterior amplitude to make up fer the skinny-butted gals like Janie and Dani. (Even when the rest o' me gets thin, the bottom doesn't follow suit very well). But we does appreciate yer bein' so magnanimous as to 'spress yer luv fer all us mudwomenz, regardless o' size or shape. That's very big o' yez. An' give our regards to the P-vine fer bein' willin' to share ('t least where mere 'preshiashun is concerned). Genie |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Amos Date: 10 Feb 10 - 09:06 PM Given that Chongo is a projection and extension, so to speak, of Little Hawk's psychic anatomy, it seems to me Little Hawk is confessing something here, but I am not sure what. I mean it's hard, what with the monkey business and all... |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: olddude Date: 10 Feb 10 - 09:32 PM I am so confused ... ah ah ... someone splain it LUCY |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Janie Date: 11 Feb 10 - 12:27 AM Beaubear, you is a beaubear. (but a bit of an idiot to keep consulting that wes ginny slide rule whats we womenz invented.) {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} to you and P-Vine from another hillbilly. |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: VirginiaTam Date: 11 Feb 10 - 02:44 AM I'm a big fat mamma. Got some meat shakin on my bones I'm a big fat mamma. Got some meat shakin on my bones And every time I start to shakin, some skinny girl loses her home. |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Bobert Date: 11 Feb 10 - 08:25 AM I love that song, Tamz... |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: SINSULL Date: 11 Feb 10 - 08:41 AM I thought only fiddlers were supposed to go the roof...fiddlers and pantihose. |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Amos Date: 11 Feb 10 - 05:41 PM Sound s like a song challenge: Pantyhose On the Roof... |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Bobert Date: 11 Feb 10 - 07:47 PM ...'er was that song "Panting on the Roof"??? |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Ebbie Date: 11 Feb 10 - 10:42 PM "panting on the roof"? That happens right after a close call. |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: frogprince Date: 11 Feb 10 - 11:30 PM Darn it, Ebbie, I know there's something really cute there that I'm too dense to get right now. |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Bobert Date: 12 Feb 10 - 07:48 AM No, it's all them grayhairs up on their roofs with snow shovels, f-prince... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: SINSULL Date: 12 Feb 10 - 08:01 AM With fiddles too? |
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Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Bobert Date: 12 Feb 10 - 08:10 AM Snow shoveles & Fiddles... Now there is a combination!!! Hey, wait... I've got a new idea... How about a snow shovel/fiddle??? Hmmmmm??? Few tuning heads on the handle end, a cigar box bolded to the shivelin' end and a bow and yer in business... So yer on yer way to a gig and it starts snowin' and yer car get stuck, right??? Just unbolt the cigar box, remove the strings and yer good to go... Yezzir... What time does the patent office open??? B~ |
