BS: Don't....

Subject: BS: Don't....
From: gnu
Date: 15 Jun 05 - 04:24 PM

... tell the dental hygiene assistant a real funny joke just before she starts. It still hurts and it was about three hours ago that she 'slipped' with the little thingy that vibrates. It's SHARP when you get it in the gums!!! And I damned near drowned!

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: TheBigPinkLad
Date: 15 Jun 05 - 04:26 PM

I don't think you're supposed to put the vibrator in your mouth ...

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 15 Jun 05 - 04:27 PM

Don't....

... go home with your hard on...

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: jacqui.c
Date: 15 Jun 05 - 04:44 PM

Poor gnu - at the mercy of a woman eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: rumanci
Date: 15 Jun 05 - 04:45 PM

you deserve a plaque for that
the tartar !

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: TheBigPinkLad
Date: 15 Jun 05 - 04:46 PM

Denture love it when rum's on fire?

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: rumanci
Date: 15 Jun 05 - 04:50 PM

Gum over here BPL and say that

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: TheBigPinkLad
Date: 15 Jun 05 - 04:52 PM

Nice of you to gingivite me over ...

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: artbrooks
Date: 15 Jun 05 - 04:52 PM

Don't teeth her.......

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: rumanci
Date: 15 Jun 05 - 04:56 PM

I'll have you both on drill in the morning !
That'll sort out the talk from mutter

(btw OUCH gnu)

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: TheBigPinkLad
Date: 15 Jun 05 - 04:58 PM

Now look what chew've done ...

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: LilyFestre
Date: 15 Jun 05 - 05:08 PM

I novocain stand it!!!!!!!! LMAO!

Michelle

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: rumanci
Date: 15 Jun 05 - 05:11 PM

Now jawst a minute Lily - you too ?
ah well - the molar the merrier I say

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: TheBigPinkLad
Date: 15 Jun 05 - 05:25 PM

Such wisdom ... such incisorness ... tooth thumbs up!

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 15 Jun 05 - 05:26 PM

Not if she's on the pull...

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: heric
Date: 15 Jun 05 - 05:28 PM

GP was giving me a rectal exam. He said "That's only one digit, but you can have a second opinion." I said NO JOKES!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: rumanci
Date: 15 Jun 05 - 05:29 PM

ooooo That last remark ought to be sterilised
I never look down in the mouth for long tis true

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: fat B****rd
Date: 15 Jun 05 - 05:30 PM

Don't....... forget to slop your dripper.

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 15 Jun 05 - 05:34 PM

But WHAT WAS THE JOKE?!!!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 05 - 05:37 PM

Where's jimmyt when you really need him? He's a dentist and could easily get to the root of all this. Drill down, if you will.

Besides, he works in a filling station.

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: jimmyt
Date: 15 Jun 05 - 05:46 PM

what an amalgamation of witty folks!

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: jimmyt
Date: 15 Jun 05 - 05:48 PM

SPeaking of rectal exams, I was having my exam recently and looked back to see the doctor writing with one hand and holding the clip board with the other.........I demanded a discount....or at least he could buy me a drink

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: rumanci
Date: 15 Jun 05 - 05:48 PM

I can't cap that one jimmy
even if I would like to crown some of them

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: heric
Date: 15 Jun 05 - 06:07 PM

No, that was me screaming back "no jokes," LTS. He wasn't punishing me. I think he kinda likes me.

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: heric
Date: 15 Jun 05 - 06:11 PM

oh, yeah. . . Gnu's joke! Tell us? (if it still works)

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: gnu
Date: 15 Jun 05 - 06:33 PM

Ooooolllld joke, but she had never heard it. I was minded of it because, when I go for a teeth cleaning, I like to use some lip 'medication' prior to the procedure. Lipsyl, or Blistex or whatever, so that when they stretch your lips to do the work, the lips actually stretch. And, the salt solution they use for cleansing irritates the lips if you don't have some lip balm on.

OK then, the joke... shortened... (when feathered out and told right, it's pretty good... but still old...

Cowboy arrives at saloon... ties up horse... waters... feeds... grooms... lifts tail and kisses ass... walks into saloon and orders whiskey... barkeep pours and says, "nice horse"... "Yup, been though a lotta miles with that horse"... "Ya take good care a that horse. Ya watered, fed and groomed him before ya even came in fer drink. But, I noticed ya kissed it's ass?... "Yup, that's fer chapped lips"... "That cures chapped lips?... "No, But it'll keep ya from lickin em."

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: heric
Date: 15 Jun 05 - 06:36 PM

oh, bummer. my hygenist would love that joke. but she can never know. . . lol

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 15 Jun 05 - 06:39 PM

Ah THAT joke.. I can understand the reaction of the nurse!!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: gnu
Date: 15 Jun 05 - 06:47 PM

... say "But I don't care... you really do turn me on."

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: kendall
Date: 15 Jun 05 - 07:01 PM

Jeri once told me that she never has novocain when she has dental work done. I of course asked why and she said "Because I want to transcend dental medication."

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: Shanghaiceltic
Date: 15 Jun 05 - 07:23 PM

Incicive wit and wisdom here.

BTW what happens to all those teeth the dentists remove, does the dentist get a special deal from the Tooth Faerie?

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: SINSULL
Date: 15 Jun 05 - 07:38 PM

My dentist uses Bernaise Sauce on his plates but Kendall will have to explain...

This has been a "bonding" experience. Thank you all.

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 05 - 07:42 PM

I asked my dentist if he could stretch my mouth from right to left. He asked why, I told him I wanted wider teeth.

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: open mike
Date: 16 Jun 05 - 01:00 AM

i keep asking my dentist office to use warm water to

spray my mouth with as the cold water hits nerves....no luck -- yet.

but if i have enough nitrous oxide i do not complain--too much

i do not know about the salt water bit, but definately apply

chap stick, or lip salve of some sort prior to getting in the chair!

lip balm comes in lots of flavors...and so does the flouride they use.

i bet there are acres and acres of mint grown just for use in

tooth and mouth products!!

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: gnu
Date: 16 Jun 05 - 05:19 PM

... expect. Inspect. (My company motto.)

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: SharonA
Date: 16 Jun 05 - 06:11 PM

Tried to look up a synonym for "dentist" on Thesaurus.com

It replied, "No entry found for dentist. Did you mean detest?"

(Why, yes, I suppose I really did!)

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: gnu
Date: 16 Jun 05 - 07:19 PM

Hehehehehe!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: Sorcha
Date: 16 Jun 05 - 08:37 PM

Yes, Laruel, why is there NOT a setting for warm water? ESP after they ask you if you are heat/cold sensitive????

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Jun 05 - 10:03 PM

Ever notice that dentists and hygeinists never use the expression "Bite me!" for some reason?

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: gnu
Date: 17 Jun 05 - 02:47 PM

... ask the Game Warden, when he asks you if you have a rifle in your vehicle, "Why do you want to borrow my rifle?" Some of them have no sense of humour at all. Even though they asked such a silly question.

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: gnu
Date: 17 Jun 05 - 03:45 PM

... piss Mom Nature off by keeping all your windows open because it is the month of June, and, damnit, it SUPPOSED to be WARM!!! Even I can't believe this weather and I am the one who keeps telling people not to put in young plants yet because we could still have frost near the full moon. Had to close the windows this morning and put on the furnace to take a shower.

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: rumanci
Date: 17 Jun 05 - 03:49 PM

Fangs for this list of Don'ts gnu - I am enamelled of them - and that's the tooth

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: bobad
Date: 17 Jun 05 - 03:50 PM

...sleep in the subway darlin'.

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: Troll
Date: 18 Jun 05 - 12:23 AM

When I had my colo-rectal exam last month, I asked the Doc to give me a note for my wife attesting that my head was NOT "up there".

He was most obliging (sp?)

troll

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: gnu
Date: 18 Jun 05 - 07:41 AM

... roller skate in a buffalo herd.

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: GUEST,G-Spot
Date: 19 Jun 05 - 01:21 AM

...step on the Grass, Sam
Don't be such an ass, Sam

(anyone remember that jewel?)

GS

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: matai
Date: 19 Jun 05 - 07:39 AM

Thanks so much for the laughs. I have to go to the detest tomorrow cos I broke a tooth eating wasabi balls. Now my dentist will wonder what I'm smiling about, especially after I tie up my horse. Thanks for the lip salve tip

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: gnu
Date: 19 Jun 05 - 07:41 AM

Wasabi balls? Wha's 'at be?

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: matai
Date: 19 Jun 05 - 07:42 AM

Last time I went she put glasses on me. Said she was disposed to dropping sharp instruments.

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: gnu
Date: 19 Jun 05 - 07:49 AM

Minds me of even older joke about the lady that grabbed the dentist by the balls just before he started to work. When he asked her what she was doing that for, she asked, "Now, were not going to hurt each other, are we?"

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: JennyO
Date: 19 Jun 05 - 08:31 AM

I didn't know wasabis had balls.

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: Bobert
Date: 20 Jun 05 - 07:29 AM

...try to outrun a mad hornet on yer John Deer tractor...

'er, in the words of Lyndon Johnson: "Don't spit in the soup, we've all got to eat".

(Glad to see that you recovered from the near drownin' incident, gnu... Woulda been mightly embarrassin' to have yer obituary read: "Died from teeth cleanin'...)

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: matai
Date: 22 Jun 05 - 06:01 AM

Wasabi balls are hot....like crunchy split peas injected with wasabi, that hot, green stuff you have with sushi...to nibble while your drinking.
Sushi? A Japanese rice dish with fish/chicken/ vegetables rolled in seaweed and cut into circular thick slices. Particularly nourishing when hung over.

Subject: RE: BS: Don't....
From: Kaleea
Date: 22 Jun 05 - 06:21 AM

When I was a kid we had a dentist who would numb the gums, prop your mouth open so you couldn't move it with his tools, start working in there, and begin singing. Then he would ask, "How do you like my singing?" moral . . .don't complain about the dentist's singing whilst the Dr. is working on you.