BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)

Subject: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Jun 05 - 04:32 PM

A species of primate, an icon of stage and screen, and a baseball team...

What is the link, the commonality, the connective significance of these three apparently separate, yet highly fascinating subjects? What could it be? And how does it impinge on the viability of post-modern society?

Amos? Sir jOhn from Hull? Martin? Bobert? Anyone?

Discuss in 75 words or less.

(And thanks to GUEST for the inspiration!)

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: Ebbie
Date: 02 Jun 05 - 04:37 PM

I can't help you on that one, LH, but I must tell you something that will make you happy. Last night on the Tonight Show, Jay Leno was quizzing three finalist contestants on the 'Jaywalking AllStars'.

One question was 'Who is the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court?' A further clue was "William...?"

One bright woman answered 'Shatner'?

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Jun 05 - 04:42 PM

Ha! Ha! HA! ha! ha! HA! HA!

Oh, my!

Can't you just see it?

That woman is definitely on the inside track.

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: gnu
Date: 02 Jun 05 - 04:47 PM

Bill's apeshit over the Cubs winning a game?

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Jun 05 - 04:52 PM

Brief and to the point. We have our first entry, and it sounds reasonably plausible. I can't wait for Amos's contribution, though, because he will use all those big words that get me in a lather...

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: GUEST,gnu
Date: 02 Jun 05 - 05:15 PM

Bill's apeshit over the Cub's win? (Conciser.)

Bill's Cubs beat chimps.

Bill's chimps beat Cubs. (Plausible.)

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: GUEST,William Shatner
Date: 02 Jun 05 - 05:21 PM

I've played opposite a chimp in one or two minor films. I have to say it was less of a chore than playing opposite De Forest Kelly. Don't get me wrong, I loved Dee. He was a great guy. His acting style...that was a little...offbeat. You had to pace yourself in rythm with his chaotic eyebrow twitches. Leonard Nimoy also has an eyebrow twich that can pin a Nile crocodile right to the ground, but with Nimoy you know when it's coming. With Dee, it was hard to tell. His eyebrows were out of control. It took years for me to get used to it. Years. You have to be ready to roll with the punches when you go to Hollywood.

As for the Cubs...not a bad team. I like them. But not as much as I like racehorses and the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders. Not half as much, in fact.

Got my new CD yet? If you don't, you're seriously missing out.

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: Once Famous
Date: 02 Jun 05 - 05:27 PM

Cubs:   A lifelong love affair in the family down through the generations since about 1905. From father to son to son to son. an amazing slice of Americana.

chimps:   smelly, vicious, liberals

shatner: loved him best when he fought the lizard head on an alien landscape.

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: beardedbruce
Date: 02 Jun 05 - 05:30 PM

Martin Gibson,

What have chimps ever done to you? You might have gone over the line here...

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: Once Famous
Date: 02 Jun 05 - 05:33 PM

I really think chimps are very over rated.

Does any one remember a program years ago called The Hathaways. It starred Jack Weston and Peggy Cass.

Anyone remember this show?

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: beardedbruce
Date: 02 Jun 05 - 05:35 PM

chimps: smelly yes, vicious yes, but they are INTELLIGENT primates. I am sure they have varied opinions, and to tar all of them with the brush of "liberal" seems unfair.

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: Once Famous
Date: 02 Jun 05 - 05:40 PM

Perhaps, but they are neither moderate or conservative, either.

Intelligent? Perhaps as much as Howard Dean.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: Ebbie
Date: 02 Jun 05 - 06:00 PM

Go, BeardedBruce, Go! 'Liberal' is one thing that chimps are NOT. They are very focused and intent on their own welfare and indeed, survival. Not too many altruistic ones among them. Not to mention, they swear a lot. Yep. They are definitely Conservative.

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: Once Famous
Date: 02 Jun 05 - 06:02 PM

Is that why they will survive and liberals will not?

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 02 Jun 05 - 06:36 PM

Martin, you are going to get yours one of these days when I find you, you jerk.

I agree with your assessment of the Cubs, though. A tremendously great baseball team. I can't claim to have family ties goin' back generations as Cubs fans, cos I came over on the boat from Africa in the 20's, but I am as hardcore a Cubs fan as you will find anywhere.

Are chimps liberal? Some are, some ain't. Some chimps are real conservative, lemme tell ya. They won't touch a banana or a babe that don't pass the "sniff" test. I sure as hell won't. I am liberal in some ways and conservative in others.

As for Shatner, the guy is a rich, fat toad with a bloated ego. He's a laugh and a half. He can't act to save his life. He has nothing in common with either chimps or the Cubs. He is a friggin' aberration, a mistake that Mother Nature shoulda forgot by now. Little Hawk is nuts on the subject of Shatner. There ain't no use discussin' it with him.

The Howard Dean yell was impressive. It sounded like a big freakin' chief gorilla gettin' his coconuts lopped off by a guillotine. If they were makin' Tarzan movies these days (I wish) they would for sure pay Dean royalties so they could use that yell on the soundtrack for the Apeman's victory cry. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!

Fan-friggin-tastic!

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: Ebbie
Date: 02 Jun 05 - 06:39 PM

I'd rather live - and die - happily and in harmony with likeminded others than in a sourfaced and meanspirited insistence on survival with barred doors and an arsenal of shotguns. After it's all over, what have you got? Answer: A bunch of people who cannot trust ANYONE and who are not interested in - and do not believe in - love and cooperation.

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 02 Jun 05 - 06:48 PM

Yeah? Well, I like harmony and like minds too, Ebbie, so what are you sayin'? I still figure havin' a shotgun in reserve ain't a bad idea, just in case, but a tommy gun is way better.

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Jun 05 - 07:58 PM

Chongo, you know Shatner is the greatest. Just admit it. He is the King Kong of human beings.

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Jun 05 - 08:08 PM

Oh, let's see... Three chimps, William Shatner and the starting lineup for the Chicago Cubs held a circle jerk last night. Shatner won.



Here's an even better question:

What do Dolly Parton's tits, William Shatner and a well-used handkerchief have in common?

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: gnu
Date: 02 Jun 05 - 09:02 PM

They all shake when sneeezing?

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: Once Famous
Date: 02 Jun 05 - 09:33 PM

Ebbie, you can make all of the excuses for why life sucks for you all you like.

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: Severn
Date: 02 Jun 05 - 10:03 PM

All blown out of proportion?

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: frogprince
Date: 02 Jun 05 - 10:50 PM

"Ebbie, you can make all of the excuses for why life sucks for you all you like." -M.G.
Martin, if you actually think that has anything to do with what Ebbie just said, you are, in fact, out there lost in space. If you DO know it has no validity, you're showing the maturity of as toddler screaming and tugging at an adult who is too busy to give him undivided attention for a couple of minutes. My, what a constructive way to "combat liberalism"...

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jun 05 - 08:50 AM

From that wonderful, definitely-Chicago, song "South Side Irish:"

...And when it comes to baseball, we've got to favorite clubs:
The go-go White Sox...and whoever plays the Cubs.

which could be modified to

...And when we want to party, we've got our favorite pimps:
The guys who drive the Caddies...and Chongo's brother chimps.

Nothing, however, rhymes with "Shatner."

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Jun 05 - 09:09 AM

Shoot, they's lotsa things rhymes with "Shatner". Like "fattener".

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jun 05 - 09:25 AM

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Jun 05 - 10:38 AM

Or flattener.

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: gnu
Date: 03 Jun 05 - 10:49 AM

... or battener...

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: gnu
Date: 03 Jun 05 - 10:50 AM

... or pattener...

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Jun 05 - 10:54 AM

Staten Islander?

No, I guess not...

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: gnu
Date: 03 Jun 05 - 11:01 AM

... lattener is a stretch... one who makes latten would be a flattener.

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Jun 05 - 11:15 AM

If someone ate a cat, then she'd have a "cat'n'er"...

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 03 Jun 05 - 12:27 PM

Well, the obvious common link is they all annoy Martin, but it would be rather easier to list the things that don't annoy him...

How about:
Shatner and five Chimps have been signed up as the star players for the Cubs next season.

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: Once Famous
Date: 03 Jun 05 - 12:33 PM

That was stupid, bunny. the Cubs have now won 7 straight and are the hottest team in baseball.

Rap, you've heard that south side expression I see. You have to realize how wide apart their eyes are on that side of town.

frogprince, obviously you have a problem with what I said about Ebbie.

Good.

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: jacqui.c
Date: 03 Jun 05 - 12:35 PM

How about the chimp and the Cubs are going to be the crew on the Enterprise for Shatner's next film....... They've got to find SOMEONE who'll work with him!

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: GUEST,Chanteyranger
Date: 03 Jun 05 - 01:25 PM

Yes,Martin,I remember The Hathaways! That was one of the earliest TV shows I can remember watching when a kid, along with "I'm Dickens, He's Fenster." Can't remember, though, the circumstances of why and how they adopted the chimps.

Chanteyranger

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 03 Jun 05 - 02:31 PM

I remember "The Hathaways" too. It had that English guy with the amazing eyebrows, right?

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: Once Famous
Date: 03 Jun 05 - 02:46 PM

Yes, actor John McIntyre.

It was at that deep, dark moment in TV history that I started to hate chimps. That, and seeing one openly masturebating at the Lincoln Park Zoo.

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: gnu
Date: 03 Jun 05 - 04:55 PM

Mmmmffftttt. I can't sto... mmmfffffttt. Deeeep breath.

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: GUEST,Chanteyranger
Date: 03 Jun 05 - 05:04 PM

Well,I'll bet that never happened on the Hathaways....at least not on camera :-).

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: jacqui.c
Date: 03 Jun 05 - 06:13 PM

LOL gnu.

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: Ebbie
Date: 03 Jun 05 - 06:58 PM

When a person gets too uncomfortable in watching other primates I think it simply means that the person identifies too much with it. It's an animal, for gods' sake.

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: gnu
Date: 03 Jun 05 - 07:57 PM

I am not an animallll!!

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: Ebbie
Date: 03 Jun 05 - 10:10 PM

Would you agree that you are a mammal?

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: gnu
Date: 03 Jun 05 - 10:13 PM

Oh. now. That's tempting, but I am in enough trouble already tinight, so I'll just say, yes.

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: Ebbie
Date: 03 Jun 05 - 10:49 PM

Good boy. You'se the male of a species in the mammalian family. (Check your chest, if you're in any doubt) :)

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: GUEST,Betsy Bonobo
Date: 03 Jun 05 - 11:00 PM

Openly masturbating, huh? Yep, that's a chimp for ya. We bonobos prefer to just openly fuck.

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 03 Jun 05 - 11:19 PM

Martin, I am gonna find you. Chicago is a big place, but I am gonna find you.

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: Peter Kasin
Date: 04 Jun 05 - 12:52 AM

LOL, Betsy! You won't find Bonobos in a petting zoo, that's for sure.

Chanteyranger

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: GUEST
Date: 12 Aug 05 - 02:20 AM

Say it ain't so....Shatner shares the same interests as Wacko Jacko????

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: Peace
Date: 12 Aug 05 - 02:23 AM

You heard it here first, folks!

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Aug 05 - 10:23 AM

And maybe last too.

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: GUEST,*daylia*
Date: 12 Aug 05 - 12:57 PM

Cubs.

Chimps.

Shatner.

Any more questions?

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Aug 05 - 01:15 PM

LOL!

Subject: RE: BS: Chimps, Shatner, Cubs......(?)
From: Cluin
Date: 12 Aug 05 - 05:55 PM

Just one.