BS: mid-life crisis?

Subject: RE: BS: mid-life crisis?
From: GUEST
Date: 12 Aug 02 - 09:39 AM

refresh

Subject: RE: BS: mid-life crisis?
From: GUEST,Old Fart
Date: 12 Aug 02 - 10:53 AM

Lavender,

The loathing you speak of is very common these days. I think all of us feel it at some point. I know I have.

The terms "career burnout" and "mid-life crisis" are relatively new expressions, however (remember now, an "old fart" is working with a slightly different time-line.) Anyway, these "new words" appear to be the parents of another timely phrase...."pursuing one's passion." I wonder about this concept....lately it kind of haunts me.

Previous to these plethoric times....for thousands and thousands of years, in fact, people worked for a very specific reason....to provide for others. Their motive was not altruistic, however....it was born out of necessity. People "had" to work for "the group." The tribe, the clan, the farm, the family...was all that mattered. The focus was not "what kind of work?"... the focus was always "why do we work?"... and the answer was pretty obvious. Consider the word "PROVIDER." It literally means..."one who contributes to the welfare of others."

Perhaps "pursuing one's passion" is a classic example of getting the cart in front of the horse. Maybe, in these modern times, these times of extreme abundance, it would be good to re-examine our definition of "passion."

Perhaps we could somehow recall an old-fashion notion.....that the gift of having a job is the potential contribution we can all make to "others." Maybe that notion could add true meaning and significance to our difficult and often repetitive work, and that understanding would help us to shift our thoughts to the more important question of "why we work?"

If we could all be a little more focused on "maximizing our contribution," then maybe "passion" would become the natural bi-product of that meaningful work.

Old Fart

Subject: RE: BS: mid-life crisis?
From: GUEST,fretless, at work
Date: 12 Aug 02 - 12:34 PM

I've gotta agree with GUEST,not my real name on this one. I spent a few years running a bar/pub-based Thursday and Saturday night folk music program back in the late 70s-early 80s. Great music (I did the booking and I booked music I loved -- how could it not be terrific!), wonderful people (including the woman I eventually married), even made adequate money. But eventually, I gave the program away because it was just too wearing dealing with the alcohol abuse. There wasn't much -- but it doesn't take much. Just one abuser in your weekly bar/pub event on Saturday night means you are dealing with an unpleasant situation EVERY week. And unpleasasnt situations are inevitable when you are dispensing alcohol.

This isn't entirely a morality issue, although GUEST,not my real name is sort of phrasing it that way, and GUEST nmrn has a valid point in this regard. But I would encourage you to think about this asa YOU issue, Lavender. Think hard before you put yourself in a situation where it is your responsibility as the publican to deal with the one jerk (or the one poor alcoholic bastard) in the crowd who is hell bent on making life miserable for everyone else. And think hard before putting yourself in the situation of having to accept the fact that you provided the substance that facilitated the jerk's abusiveness. Sure, the idiot will find another pub if your's isn't available. That isn't the issue. The question is whether you want to put yourself dead smack center in the line of fire on this one. I eventually decided that it was more fun being a patron at a pub than a manager; and when it came time for my mid-life job change, I went someplace else.

Subject: RE: BS: mid-life crisis?
From: GUEST,mg
Date: 13 Aug 02 - 02:14 AM

are pubkeepers allowed to set a limit in general for how much beer they will sell..like say 3 drinks total for the evening...so people who wanted to get soused would go somewhere else...if it was advertised that way and enforced, is that legal etc.?

mg

Subject: RE: BS: mid-life crisis?
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Aug 02 - 02:16 AM

You've made it twice as far as most....and you'rE NOW 2/3rds of the way home. Don't sweat the little stuff. EAT DRINK AND BE MARRY, FOR TOMORROW YOUR SOUL MAY BE REQUIRED OF YOU.

Subject: RE: BS: mid-life crisis?
From: smallpiper
Date: 14 Aug 02 - 10:45 AM

Sobering thought! However - Old Fart - is to persue ones passion exclusive of providing for others? My understanding is that most passions are abouit providing something for someone else in fact I can't think of a single thing that would be selfish - unless it be the persuit of world domination and is that relistic?

Subject: RE: BS: mid-life crisis?
From: Willie-O
Date: 14 Aug 02 - 11:45 AM

I don't know what the law is in other countries, but if you were odd enough to own a pub and put a 3-drink limit on all your patrons, I imagine that would be OK in Ontario the Good. The law here is that you're not supposed to serve someone, in either a bar or a liquor store, who appears to be already intoxicated. A law which of course has widely varying application.

A bartender or server (or party host) is not 100% liable for the actions of someone after they have been served alcohol, but there is a definite liability factor involved. Most interesting case recently was a woman who sued her own company after she got drunk at the office Christmas party, drove away, and caused an accident. (I don't remember her name, but try searching in Google for liability and chutzpah, that oughtta find it!)

But I think you should go for it. I'm fully in favour of having a nice, friendly, moderation-encouraged pub in every town. In the real world, the drinking places that cause problems are the ones that keep on juicing you when you're obviously hammered. They're pretty easy to spot, just step inside one and you'll know you won't want to stay long.

Willie-O
think I'll be off to the pub for lunch soon
batching it this week

Subject: RE: BS: mid-life crisis?
From: GUEST,Old Fart
Date: 14 Aug 02 - 09:27 PM

Smallpiper...You and I see things pretty much the same, with the possible exception of your notion of the word "selfish".

"Maximizing our contribution" to others might be the most (rationally) "selfish" thing we can do.

A young couple recently told me that they had decided to never have any children. They said, "we are too "selfish" to consider it." My answered seemed to confuse them when I said....."Who ever told you having children wasn't selfish?"

Old Fart