BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?

Subject: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: Beer
Date: 10 Jan 11 - 11:38 PM

Some guest and members as well come on with a thread and asks for help. This is great, so you search for answers and find one then you post it. Great again. But then you are completely ignored and the thread goes on. Wouldn't a very short note of "Thanks for trying" or something along these lines be sent. I wonder if this also happens to others.

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 02:10 AM

That does happen often I guess but then you get one.... a Guest... like the latest I contributed to 'Lyr Req. Harry Trewin'.. when I came back to the thread there was a thank you waiting..... There are those who see the need and those who don't... it is a music sharing site so should we really expect thanks??? Doesn't really bother me... don't take it personally. Best wishes, Mike.

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: gnomad
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 07:06 AM

I understand and sympathise, but do feel that some people just are not built that way. No point letting it get to you, just show a better example and hope it rubs off.

Could be worse of course; better pissed-off than pissed-on ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: GUEST,Alan whittle
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 07:16 AM

I did that when I first came to Mudcat, and I didn't know how it worked. i was looking for the lyrics to Fanin Street by leadbelly. I thought it would whizz straight up. I didn't realise you had to wait for replies.

It wasn't til about two years later that I made a second visit.

so to those people who replied and thought they were unappreciated - sorry!

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: theleveller
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 07:42 AM

I recently started a thread on converting a guitar into a mandola and got some excellent advice for which I was grateful - and said so. It's simply good manners.

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: Ron Davies
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 07:58 AM

If that's a question we all can answer, try this: among other things, gratuitous bad language.    Are Mudcatters' vocabularies really that feeble?

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: Beer
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 09:16 AM

Thanks for all the replies. Much appreciated and yes, there are a greater number who do reply with their appreciation.
Ron, I rarely use bad language and you are correct. I should have titled the post"You Know What Ticks Me Off".
Ad.

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: theleveller
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 09:41 AM

One person's bad language is another's homage to his/her Anglo Saxon heritage. But thanks for mentioning it.

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: GUEST,erbert
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 10:01 AM

"Are Mudcatters' vocabularies really that feeble?"

yes.. mine effin well is..


My educated specialised post-grad vocab didn't survive more than a few years
of exposure to the real grinding world
of shit jobs, low pay, and local thuggish provincial public house 'cretin culture'...

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: GUEST, topsie
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 10:08 AM

In British English, 'pissing off' and 'ticking off' are not quite the same. If you 'tick' someone off you are telling them what they did wrong, often when you are in a position of authority.
Of course, you may piss them off by doing it.

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: quokka
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 10:17 AM

It took me a while to realise just how things work on this forum and when I first joined, I think I made a few etiquette mistakes, luckily I had some friendly advice from some veteran Mudcatters who knew what they were doing and shared their wisdom very kindly. Now if I ask for something I make sure i click 'trace' so that if I can't get back before the thread drops off the page I can quickly find it and reply. It may be the case that people don't know to do this and they can't find the original message.

Regards,

Quokka

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 10:48 AM

It happens to me a lot, but it doesn't bother me. Here's why:

I enjoy the process of searching for and finding obscure songs, the same way some people enjoy solving crossword puzzles. (Nobody thanks them, either, yet they keep working at it.)

I enjoy it so much, I even go searching for unanswered requests in very old threads. Then I try to answer them. I realize from the outset that there's practically no chance that the original requestor will come back and see the answer, but I enjoy it anyway. If someone thanks me, that's a bonus.

I find Allan Whittle's message very interesting. I suspect there are a lot of people like him, but we have no way of knowing.

I also suspect there are a lot of people who come back but don't know how to find the thread again once it has dropped off the front page.

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: Donuel
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 11:03 AM

Good manners is unique for folks who do't know of the viseral nature of the folks here.

I always thank people en masse mostly because I am amazed at the quality of the answers and insights that go beyond the call of civic duty.




What pisses me off is that what I hope heros to be in our hearts and minds, is far too often a person who needs to respond to a shooting a bombing or another act of insanity.

Yes I thank the heros of the aftermath of rampages, but heros shouid and could be so much more.

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: GUEST, topsie
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 11:10 AM

For a long time I didn't even know there were more than one thread, never mind more than one page - or BS! I had looked for a song in a search engine and found a current thread offering variations on the words, and I just kept going back to that one thread to see what had been added.

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: frogprince
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 11:41 AM

Re the "gratuitous bad language"; the King James Bible contains "pisseth"; that passage doesn't usually get read in morning service. "Pee" is nothing but P-short-for-piss; few adults cringe from the word "pee" now, and it's almost universal usage for little kids. I'm conditioned like other people, and wouldn't usually say "piss" in just every setting, but, in historic perspective, it's a little silly to fuss about it as offensive language. Anyhow, thank you all for tolerating my pontification on the matter.
                                    : )

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: GUEST,999
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 11:55 AM

I find stupidity more offensive than so-called bad language. Witness a word the meaning of which is new to the language: rendition. Witness also collateral damage. I will pick my hill to die on, and this issue ain't it. FWIW.

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: GUEST,Alan Whittle
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 12:37 PM

people who pretend to enjoy food that's good for them....

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 12:44 PM

Now Topsie's story is fascinating.

I'd like to hear more "first impression" stories from people who now know their way around Mudcat but can remember when they didn't. It might suggest ways Mudcat could be made more useful and less confusing to newcomers.

I'd like to continue addressing the question that Beer raised (or implied) in the first message: Why do people not thank us for the work we've done?

Unfortunately, seeing the thread title "You know what pisses me off?" a lot of people will assume this is just a thread about being pissed off, and not about solving problems. Furthermore, a lot of people will want to talk about whatever pisses them off, even if it has nothing to do with the Beer's problem.

I think I'll start a new thread. I think I'll call it "First impressions of Mudcat." Give me some time to compose the first message, then watch for it.

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: Beer
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 01:01 PM

Great Jim. I look forward to it. Oh!, and I'm not really pissed off. I also enjoy searching for answers to help folks. The thrill of the hunt I suppose.
Ad.

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: GUEST,999
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 04:23 PM

Beer asks a fair question--one I too have wondered about from time to time.

1) Sometimes people don't know how to locate Mudcat a second time.

2) Sometimes people have very bad manners.

3) Sometimes people forget.

4) Sometimes people feel it's their due, and therefore thank yous are not necessary.

Not too many satisfactory answers, but thems the breaks.

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: Arthur_itus
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 04:56 PM

Well I have been well and truly pissed off for 7 days now with a catheter stuck up my todger.

However, it is a bit of a turnoff if you spend ages trying to solve something for somebody and never get a thank you.

One of the problems with mudcat (at least I think so), is there is no way that you can have a feedback e-mail, when somebody answers a thread you are interested in.
If a person received a notification, that person could just click on the link in the e-mail and go straight to the thread.

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: gnu
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 05:00 PM

You needn't thank me. If I did "it" it's because I wanted to help. Of course it's polite and I always do so except when it's a given such as when somone sends me emails on a regular basis.

I got a PM thanks today for a post that made a person laugh. I thanked him for his thanks rather than say he was welcome.... the welcome was implied and I assume the thanks was appreciated.

But, I must say Beer has struck on something which goes far deeper - good manners, as has been cited above. I am aghast on a daily basis at how rude people are in public, especially women. They seem to have an attitude problem. It's as if they were raised to believe that they are not responsible for such rudeness or lack of concern for others. Simple things like ignoring my 84 year old almost blind mother in a shop when she is trying to get by the fat ass and the shopping cart which needn't block the whole aisle.

I assume the reason that I find women are MORE rude than men is that when they were children men were taken to task immediately and without mercy for bad behavior by their peers whereas women were not subject to the same "rules" of the playground. "Never hit a girl" kinda thing. I could be wrong, but, if I am, why are women so much more rude and ill mannered than men?

Maybe it's that Daddy's little girl is mollycoddled whereas Daddy's little man is taught to fight back? That's weak but worth consideration.

I am just reporting my observations. I have NO proof of my observations or hypotheses.

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: Slag
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 05:40 PM

I learned that expectations are only invitations to disappointment. I only have expectations for myself. On the other hand, legal obligations... but enough of that!

I have been helped on several occasions here at the 'cat and I hope I have been duly grateful but if not, I would like to thank any and all here and now for your assistance. It is and has been much appreciated. In addition I am truly grateful for the Mudcat Cafe in general. It is really a great place and presence on the net. My hat is off to you!

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: Joe Offer
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 05:40 PM

See the First Impressions of Mudcat thread for related information. Newcomers don't know their way around, and I fear they often can't find their way back to find the answers we've posted, much less to give thanks for what we've posted. Nonetheless, the information is there for the next person who needs it, and we've often had a good discussion in the process.

-Joe-

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: GUEST,^&*
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 05:51 PM

An earlier post commented:

I find stupidity more offensive than so-called bad language. Witness a word the meaning of which is new to the language: rendition

FWIW:

Not that new, in fact. I remember randomly opening a page of a mid 19C. American text called something like "The State of the American Negro", or similar, written by an African American - it used the term "extraordinary rendition" to describe procedures for return of runaway slaves from Northern states. Seems to have been a legal term at the time?

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: Joe Offer
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 05:55 PM

Hmmmm. All this time, I thought "rendition" was the process of extracting tallow from dead animals...

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: GUEST,^&*
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 05:56 PM

Joe

Render unto Caesar...

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: GUEST, topsie
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 06:20 PM

I wondered whether to be offended when the comment about stupidity appeared right after my post about my first experience of Mudcat. However, I think we should make a distinction between 'ignorance' - literally 'not knowing', lack of information - and stupidity, which is more an inability to use the information one has.

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 06:30 PM

I learned that expectations are only invitations to disappointment.

I agree. One's own manners need not depend on someone else's response (or one's perceptions of same).

A paraphrase of an item I got in email, that I try to remind myself of daily: "Always be as kind as you can, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle." The battle is seldom as visible as the inner reality of the person feeling it.

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 06:43 PM

I'll tell you what pisses me off. The front doorbell rings. I open it and get shouldered aside by 6 or 7 enormous gorillas who burst into the place with tommy guns and sawed-off shotguns at the ready. One of them puts his finger to his lips to indicate that I should remain silent, then draws the same finger rapidly across his throat to indicate what will happen if I don't. They fan out commando style down the hall, into the kitchen, down the stairs to the basement, up the stairs to the bedrooms, moving softly for all their bulk, then throwing open the various doors and bursting in, guns at the ready. One of them gets spooked by the sparring dummy in the martial arts room and fires off a full clip of .45 cal ammo into it...

Shit! That Plastic Rambo dummy cost me a couple hundred bucks, and now it's been wrecked.

The other gorillas come running. The first one looks embarrassed and spreads his hands as if to say, "Sorry! My bad."

The boss gorilla finally comes to me. "Awright. Where the hell is he?"

"He's not here," I say. "He's in Chicago. Where did you think? He hardly ever comes up here in the winter."

They leave in disgust, uttering much cursing about the cost of coming up here, the bad weather, the hostile Canadian border officials, and what they are going to do to "Chachi" when they find him, for sending them on a wild goose chase to the frozen North.

THAT's the sort of thing that really pisses me off!

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: Donuel
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 06:53 PM

frog prince

micturate off ;)

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: Joe_F
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 08:23 PM

If *I* had started such a thread, the title would have been "What really grates my ass".

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: Slag
Date: 11 Jan 11 - 10:34 PM

I hear you LH. Man, if I had a nickel for everytime...

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 12 Jan 11 - 12:26 AM

The lack of thanks doesn't bother me but I can get annoyed with the lack of a reply. I find it more so elsewhere than here. Lyrics to, etc. is usually pretty straightforward but with a computer problem for example, it can be really handy to know (regardless of whether it is you answering or you searching the Internet to find an answer yourself) whether or not a given suggestion actually works.

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 12 Jan 11 - 07:54 AM

Mothers who loudly chastise their children with foul language on buses (thankfully doesn't happen too often) so that the whole bus can overhear. Made even worse by the fact that all you want to do is get home from work so are reluctant to comment on it.

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: GUEST,999
Date: 12 Jan 11 - 10:53 AM

"I wondered whether to be offended when the comment about stupidity appeared right after my post about my first experience of Mudcat."

That was a general remark and certainly not aimed in your direction, topsie.

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: GUEST, topsie
Date: 12 Jan 11 - 11:01 AM

It's OK, I wasn't really offended, though it might hae been deserved.

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: GUEST,Dr.Quelch
Date: 12 Jan 11 - 11:15 AM

!!.sdrawkcab segassem rieht tsop ohw elpoeP

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: Beer
Date: 12 Jan 11 - 12:25 PM

Guest,Jon said "The lack of thanks doesn't bother me but I can get annoyed with the lack of a reply". That is more to what I was thinking when I started this thread.
ad.

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: GUEST,Alan Whittle
Date: 12 Jan 11 - 12:42 PM

People who say, I can eat as much as I like. I can't seem to put weight on. And when you see them eat them eat dinner - they never eat hardly anything.

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 13 Jan 11 - 06:35 AM

The latest eateries and carveries that say that you can eat as much as you want at a set price encouraging greed rather than healthy eating. Plus I don't have a strong iron will not to sample one or two of any of the desserts on offer or the ice-cream fountain teasing me at the end of the counter. Diet blown.

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: gnu
Date: 13 Jan 11 - 06:50 AM

Consider it a treat, Patsy. Pig out once in a while... works for me.

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: GUEST, topsie
Date: 13 Jan 11 - 06:59 AM

As we now seem to be talking about what pisses us off, rather than what pisses Beer off :

1   People who begin the answer to every question with "Absolutely". It's OK now and then for emphasis but most of the time they could just say "Yes". It happens a lot in radio interviews, where the interviewer asks leading questions and invites the interviewee to agree.

2   People who begin the answer to every question with "Yeah no". Do they mean Yes? Do they mean No?

I have even heard people answering questions with "Yeah no, absolutely", but at least then we know whether they mean Yes or No.

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: GUEST,Grishka
Date: 13 Jan 11 - 08:12 AM

topsie (13 Jan 11 - 06:59 AM), if others don't stick to the topic, is that an excuse for yourself?

Forum communication has its own mechanisms, not identical to talking. I share the OP's experience of having written something that took me hard thinking or research, and not getting any response. Then I don't know whether the readers are quietly nodding, shrugging, or shaking their heads. However, when I write a specualtive guess or a controversial opinion, usually someone protests, therefore, if nobody does so, I imagine them all nodding.

Some forums (fora) have buttons below each entry for voting. One "thumb-up" button would suffice, operable for members only.

A related problem is that people actually do reply to a post but fail to mention which one it is, so that the first poster does not realize being answered (and, worse, others may falsely feel addressed). It is a good idea to begin a post as I did with this one. If we had a "Reply" button (resulting in a similar reference, combined with an internal link), it would be easier.

Since I am guilty myself of reading excellent posts without responding, I take this opportunity to thank all those who take pains to contribute valuable information. Thumbs up!

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: Beer
Date: 13 Jan 11 - 08:33 AM

Thumbs up! to you as well GUEST,Grishka.
ad.

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: GUEST, topsie
Date: 13 Jan 11 - 09:17 AM

In this case I think it is just a different interpretation of the thread title, rather than not sticking to the topic. Clearly some other posters have concluded that posting on a thread headed "You Know What Pisses Me Off?" should amount to telling us what annoys them.

If the topic is correct posting behaviour, I have a related question. There have been other disputes about whether a thread "belongs" to the person who started it, or to the other posters also. Does anyone know the answer?

If I have broken a rule of forum etiquette, I apologise.

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: Beer
Date: 13 Jan 11 - 09:41 AM

As the originator of the thread GUEST,topsie, I was stating what was up setting me personally. But as far as I am concerned, letting it drift to what other folks get up set about is fine with me as well. I also get upset when I hear people blame others by saying "Them over there." or "Them up there". Referring to a higher authority.
Maybe that's just me though.
ad.

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: GUEST,Grishka
Date: 13 Jan 11 - 10:03 AM

topsie (13 Jan 11 - 09:17 AM), I did not mean to criticize you; some deviation from the topic seems tolerable to me. My point was just that it would be a meagre excuse (if any were required) to say that others started. (Thread titles are often incomplete due to lack of space, normally the OP sets the topic in her/his first post. Being a GUEST myself, I cannot define any etiquette, I only write about my own understanding of it.)

In addition to what I wrote before (not as a qualification), I particularly thank those who carefully and completely read a thread before contributing, and try to make their post consistent with it. This makes it much easier for future readers to follow, so that the word thread makes sense.

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: Gurney
Date: 13 Jan 11 - 03:02 PM

Well, I have been guilty of exactly what this thread is about, asking for lyrics, getting them, and not thanking the poster. I know I've done it at least once, and I was so delighted to find the song after so long, I got the guitar out....and forgot to say thanks...and by the time I remembered, the thread had fallen way off the bottom and I couldn't remember the title, and didn't know how to get it back.

I apologised on another thread later, but the liklihood of the poster actually seeing the apology is remote.

I can work my way around Mudcat Cafe a little better now, and have also learned by the example of others, as we mostly do.

Soul-baring over.

Subject: RE: BS: You Know What Pisses Me Off?
From: gnu
Date: 13 Jan 11 - 03:34 PM

topsie... "There have been other disputes about whether a thread "belongs" to the person who started it, or to the other posters also. Does anyone know the answer?"

If it is obviously music or BS, it will be the "property" of the mod. If it is debatable, it is the property of the OP, subject to the mod's approval.

I have had threads moved against my wishes, but I bow to the mod unless I can make a case.

In any case, it NEVER belongs to other posters. It is between the OP and the mod.