Origins: Eskimo Nell

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Eskimo Nell
From: GUEST,Kenny B(Inactive)
Date: 18 Aug 19 - 08:36 AM

Eskimo Nell ... spoken at the Bad Penny Sand Drags around great performance in an Australian accent

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Eskimo Nell
From: Lighter
Date: 20 Feb 25 - 03:17 PM

There was a western swing "version" in 1941, copyright by Bob Skyles.

The only similarity lies in the name.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hTo4dA77qs

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Eskimo Nell
From: Jack Horntip
Date: 27 Feb 25 - 09:01 AM

Eskimo Nell has been set to music commercially. I haven't found field
recordings of the poem being sung.

There is was recorded in the early 1970s on the Stag Party in
London Vol.1 (Uncensored Rugby Songs) LP, Band #1. This recording
has been released several times. I have provided a link below.


Listen here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVGSiE-A7SQ

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Eskimo Nell
From: Bill D
Date: 27 Feb 25 - 03:39 PM

Scholars differ... ;>)
Eskimo Nell-long version

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Eskimo Nell
From: Lighter
Date: 27 Feb 25 - 05:57 PM

Reprinted from the "Pitt Panther," a student publication of the University of Pittsburgh, this just may be the earliest reference currently known:

Trenton [N.J.] Sunday Times-Advertiser (Nov. 24, 1929): College Humor...Mexican Pete: "Pardon me, Deadeye Dick, may I borrow your lighter?"

Caveat: "Deadeye Dick" and "Mexican Pete" were fairly common Wild West nicknames. Still, it's startling to see them used together at a time when "Eskimo Nell" was likely in circulation.

The earliest clear reference to "Eskimo Nell" I have found is this, from Smith’s Weekly (Sydney, Aus.), Oct. 29, 1932: “A Central Australian Wild West has grown up overnight…. Dynamite Annie and Eskimo Nell are there in all their ferocious finery.”

The psychologist H. J. Eysenck, in his autobiography, recalled
hearing the poem as a student at the University of London the same year.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Eskimo Nell
From: Jack Horntip
Date: 27 Feb 25 - 07:39 PM

Diddling Nellie

Nell was a schoolteacher way out west
But she gave up teaching. She like diddlin' best

Now it was a standing bet in our home town
There were no two men black or brown
That could frog old Nell and hold her down

'Til one day there strode into the bar
Wild and wooly Piss Pot Pete
Fresh off the range from diddlin' sheep

Pisspot laid his John upon the bar
The old folks say that it reached from thar to thar.

Pete yelled for a bottle then turned as he spoke
Spent a year on the range with a rusty load in my poke

I've palmed a few batches on the hill where I sat
Changed hands and gained a stroke -- caught it in my hat

On a cold winter's nights, I go to bed with the sheep
Then leave my John soak til the shit is knee deep.

Now I want a gal, no two bit whore
She must be a good one who knows all the score

There's only one woman any good I hear tell
She's a hustling chippy a bitch called Nell

Now just the sound of that name brought a hush over those walls
The only noise in the room was Pete scratching his balls

So you want old Nell, said a voice from the door.
Well that's what I'm called. I'm that old whore

I hear you are here bragging. I know your sort
There won't be any price. We'll do it for sport

But I'll take a bet -- anything you can name --
Mine against your and only one winner in the game

It's a deal said Pete and the croud gave a hollar
Then the betting begain. No odds. Dollar for Dollar.

They all shook hands and the bets were made
For Pete and Nell to screw and spar
Up on the hill behind the bar

When the day arrived thousands fought for a seat
Just to see that half-bread hide his meat

A shout arose when the half-breed came
Dressed and ready for that deadly game

Nell came out and the crowd gave a cheer
For on Nells face there was a sneer

For this little old shriveled man
That dared to brag he could frog her can

They turned and sparred twisted and squeezed
First one then the other upon their knees

Fought and fought for hours and hours
Tore down trees, grass and flowers

The sneer was gone from old Nell's pan
All her thoughts were on her can

Neither smiled; neither spoke
Suddenly Nell missed a stroke
And Pisspot nailed her as she broke

The ground was torn for miles around
where poor Nell's ass had drug the ground

Nell died that day all broken and tore
They hung her pants on the craphouse door.

Poor, poor Nell

1940s. "Diddling Nellie". Party Platters: Bits of Burlesque. 78 party record.


Listen here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJ4_10_3AkU

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Eskimo Nell
From: Jack Horntip
Date: 27 Feb 25 - 08:02 PM

The Ballad of Old Nell and Piss Pot Pete

Now listen close and I will tell
A story about this whore, name Nel
lNow It was known for miles around
that no one could poontang old Nell down
now Nell was a school marm from way out west
and it was said she loved her poontang best

When over the hill came a bare ass Greek
Who said his name was Piss Pot Pete.
He laid his cock across the bar,
I'll swear it stretched from thar to thar.
Now Nell she knew she had met her fate,
But to back out then it was to late.
So they choose a spot beside the mill,
Inside the shit house up on the hill

First they went at it with an ease
and shook the leaves right off the trees
then they went at it with a will
and shook the trees clean off that hill
they went at it for hours and hours
Until they had killed all the trees and flowers,
There's hills and hollars and valleys yet
where old Nell's ass and the ground it met
and all that's left of that there whore
is a dirty brassiere on the shit house floor

"Dad's Recitations". Wordperfect document. Received by email from DiCrawf at A O L .com Feburary 20, 2006.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Eskimo Nell
From: Jack Horntip
Date: 27 Feb 25 - 09:19 PM

OLD KATE

Now old Kate was a schoolmarm, way out West
Till she decided she like fuckin' best
Now she'd fuck 'em all, and fuck for keeps and pile her victims up in heaps
Now, down from the mountains, from Half-Ass Creek came a blue-balled
        bastard named piss-pot Pete.
Now ole' Pete had 40 pounds of swinging meat
And when he stretched it out upon the bar, it stretched from thar to thar. (Hand movements)
Now ole' Kate knew she'd me her fate, but to back out now as just too late.
All the people went to the mountains to gain their seat to watch ole' Pete sink his meat
Now Kat's broad as [..]lo[...] the ground for miles around,
She tried shunts and fronts, and double shunts and tricks unknown to other cunts.
Then she made one mistake, mind ye, just one.
I'll never forget that God-awful day, when they nailed her tits to the
        shit-house door and pickled her ass
        in alcohol and set it in the city hall.
No soap, this side of hell could get out that God-awful smell.
                        SNAKE SHIT

1967. The Crusader Hymnal


See online: https://archive.org/details/1967thecrusaderhymnal/page/11/mode/1up?q=kate

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Eskimo Nell
From: GerryM
Date: 28 Feb 25 - 06:21 PM

Is "Deadeye Dick" any relation to "Dick Deadeye" of Gilbert and Sullivan's Pinafore?

Subject: RE: Origins: Eskimo Nell
From: Jack Horntip
Date: 01 Mar 25 - 10:39 AM

Big Ass Lil and Yukon Pete

Grab your glass and get your seat,
And I'll tell you about Big-Ass Lil and Yukon Pete!

Now, Lil was the village queen,
The fuckingest whore you'd ever seen.

While some girls fucked with grace and ease,
Lil blew dick like the summer breeze.

But when she fucked, she fucked for keeps,
She piled her victims up in heaps.

There was a rumor 'round that town,
That no man could put Lil's ass down.

But way up north, where twin rivers meet,
Lived a one-balled half-breed, name Yukon Pete!

Pete was a dirty, motherless soul,
Who fucked bears, sheep and woodchuck holes.

He got a whiff for Big-Ass Lil,
Packed up his rubbers, and came down the hill.

He strode into town on size 32 feet,
Dragging sixteen yards of that red-hot meat!

Well, the scene was set at windy mill,
By the brick shithouse, high on the hill.

All the ladies came for a ringside seat,
Just to watch that half-breed sink his meat.

Well, they fucked, and they fucked, and they fucked for hours,
Uprooting trees, shrubs and flowers.

Lil did front flips, back flips, stunts
All unknown to most common cunts.

But Pete caught on to every trick,
And kept on pumping in more dick!

Now Lil gave Pete a whorehouse squeeze
That dropped that half-breed to his knees.

But Pete came back with a Yukon grunt
That popped out her eyes, and split her cunt!

Well, Lil rolled over, cut two farts and sighed:
"Boys, I've been fucked," cut one more, and died.

When they asked that half-breed of his amazing feat,
He just said, "Boys, I'm going back to the Yukon, and beat my meat!"

1997. "Big Ass lil and Yukon Pete". Recitation from John Valby's Double-D CD


Listen here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ckb0CfyxlSA

Subject: RE: Origins: Eskimo Nell
From: Jack Horntip
Date: 05 Mar 25 - 09:41 AM

The Tale of Eskimo Nell

Good Evening and welcome one and all to this the second session
of the greater England and worldwide poetry festival. This evening
we have with us the well known theatrical knight Sir Percy Strumphead
who is going to read to us that immensely moving ballad that fine
poetic feast indeed that fine, huh-huh, mosaic of-of poetic delight
"Eskimo Nell". Our distinguished visitor. Thank you.

When men grow old
And their balls grow cold
And the tips of their knobs turn blue
When they're bent in the middle
Like a one string fiddle
They can tell you a tale or two

Just buy me a drink
And tip me a wink
And a tale to you I will tell
Of Dead Eyed Dick
And his muscular prick
And a harlot called Eskimo Nell

When Dead Eyed Dick and Mexican Pete
Went forth in search of fun
It was Dead Eyed Dick
Who swung the prick
And Mexican Pete the gun.

When dead eyed dick and Mexican Pete
Felt sore, depressed or sad
It was mostly the cunt
That took the brunt
But the shooting just as bad

Now dead Eyed Dick and Mexican Pete
Had been working dead mans creek
And they'd had no luck
In the way of a fuck
For well nigh over a week

Just a moose or two
Or a caribou
Or a bison astray or so
But Dead Eyed Dick's
Was the king of pricks
And he thought such fucking slow

So Dead Eyed Dick
With his mighty prick
And Pete with his gun in his hand
Left dead man's creek
For the rest of the week
And made for a better land

And as they randied on their randy trail
No man their fire withstood
And many a bride
Who was hubby's pride
Found pregnant widowhood

They hit the shores of the Rio Grande
At the top of the blazing noon
and to slake their thirst
And do their worst
They sought out Bad Mike's Saloon

And as they crashed through the swinging doors
Both gun and prick flashed free
"According to sex
"You drunken wrecks
"Your drinks or your fucks with me!'

They know the tricks
Of Dead Eyed Dick
From the Horn to Panama
So with nothing worse
Than a muttered curse
The dagos all sought the bar

The women all knew his playful way
from Cape Cod to the Rio Grand
So forty whores
Pulled down their drawers
At Dead Eyed Dick's command

Meanwhile Dick was breathing quick
With lecherous snorts and grunts
As forty asses brought to view
to say nothing of forty cunts

And you'll see if you use your wits
and you're good at arithmetic
That forty asses and forty cunts
Mean also eighty tits

Now four score tits is a gladsome sight
For a man
With a mighty stand
It might be rare
In Berkeley Square
but not in the Rio Grand

Now Dead Eyed Dick
Had dipped his wick
The last preceding night
But this he'd just done
By way of fun
Just to wet his appetite

His phallic limb
Was in fighting trim
He backed and took a run
He made a jump
At the nearest cunt
And scored a bore in one

He bore that whore
To the sandy floor
And fucked her fair & fine
And though she grinned
It put the wind
Up the other thirty nine

Now Dead Eye Dick
He fucks 'em quick
So he casts the first aside
He makes a dart
For the second tart
When the swing doors opened wide

And there enters in
To that house of sin
Into the harlot's hell
A lusty maid
Who was not afraid
And her name was Eskimo Nell

Now Dead Eyed Dick
Had got his prick
Well into number two
When Eskimo Nell
Let out a yell
And called to Dick, "Hi, you!"

He gave a flick
Of his muscular prick
And the girl flew over his head
As he turned about
With a snarling shout
Both his knob and his legs were red

With a lustful leer
He said look here
Just take your place in the queue
I've got to mate
With the thirty eight
Before I get to you

But Eskimo Nell
She stood it well
As she looked him between the eyes
And she gazed at his horn
With fathomless scorn
As it rose from his hairy thighs

Said Eskimo Nell to Dead Eyed Dick
In accents clear and cool
"You cunt struck shrimp
Of a Yankee pimp
You call that thing a tool?"

"If this little town
Can't take that down"
She sneered to the crowd of whores
"Then one little cunt
Can do the stunt
That's Eskimo Nells not yours."

She blew a jet
From her cigarette
Across his steaming knob
And so utterly beat
Was Mexican Pete
That he clean forgot his job

She stripped her garments one by one
With an air of conscious pride
And as she stood
In her womanhood
They could all see the great divide

She laid herself on a table top
Where someone had broken a glass
With a flick of her tits
She crushed it to bits
tween the cheeks of her mighty ass

She flexed her knees
With supple ease
And spread her legs apart
With a nod
To the randy sod
She gave him his cue to start

He winked his asshole once or twice
And his balls increased in size
And his mighty prick
Grew twice as thick
And nearly reached his eyes

He polished it up with alcohol
To make it steaming hot
And to finish the job
He burnished the lot
With a cayenne pepper pot

He didn't bat; He didn't run
Or take a flying leap
He didn't swoop
But seemed to stoop
And advanced with a steady creep

With piercing eyes he laid a sight
Along his mammoth tool
And the dead slow way he put it in
Was calculating cool

Have you ever seen the pistons work
On a giant C.P.R. [Compression Piston Ring]
With the driving force
Of a thousand horse
Then you know what pistons are

You think you do
But I'm telling you
You haven't got a clue
Of the work that's done
On a non-stop run
By Dead Eyed Dick McGrew

Now Eskimo Nell was a broad hipped belle
With a really though construction
She'd the strength of ten
In her abdomen
And a paralyzing suction

Amidships she could stand the strain
Like the rush of a water closet
And she gripped his cock
Like a Chatwood lock
In the national safe deposit

Now dead eyed dick
Knew another trick
And he meant to save his powers
For if he'd a mind
He could stand the grind
For a couple of solid hours

Nell lay for a while
With a randy smile
till the throb of her cunt grew keener
then with a rapturous sigh
And she sucked him dry
With the ease of a vacuum cleaner

And now my friend
We come to the end
Of this copulatory epic
The effect on Dick
Was short and quick
And akin to an anesthetic

He dropped to the floor
And he knew no more
His passion extinct and dead
And he didn't shout
As his prick came out
Though it nearly stripped the thread

When Mexican Pete
Saw Pete's defeat
He pulled a vengeful stunt
His long nose colt
With a tearing jolt
He rammed right up Nell's cunt

He sank it to the pistol grip
And fired it twice times three
But to his surprise
She closed her eyes
And gasped in ecstasy

She leapt to her feet
With a smile so sweet
"Bully for you!" she cried
"That pistol shot
Was the best of the lot
At last I am satisfied

"I thought you jerks
Could give me the works"
She said in accents cool
"But I guess I must go
To the land of the snow
To find me a man with a tool

"For I am going back to the frozen north
Where the nights are six months long
Where you get it in
As hard tin
And the ends are good and strong"

"Back to the land
Of the mighty stand
To a place where spunk is spunk
Not a trickling stream
Of lukewarm cream
But a solid frozen chunk"

"Back to the land
Where they understand
How a man should copulate
Where skeletons rattle
In sexual cattle
And the babies masturbate

"So when my friend
When you next intend
Go in search of fun
Buy Dead-Eyed Dick
A sugar stick
And buy yourself a gun"

1980. "The Tale of Eskimo Nell (Anon)" EP record.
Produced by Chris Blackwell. Island Records. London.



Listen here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IocS8zcanHM

Subject: RE: Origins: Eskimo Nell
From: Jack Horntip
Date: 05 Mar 25 - 09:55 AM

      THE TALE OF ESKIMO NELL

When men grow old and their balls turn cold
And the tip of their knobs turn blue
They look back on their life of trouble and strife
And tell you a tale or two
So buy a drink, and I'll try to think
Of a tale that I can tell
Of Dead Eye Dick and his muscular prick
And a harlot named Eskimo Nell

When Dead Eye Dick and Mexican Pete
Go out in search of fun
It's Dead Eye Dick who swung the prick
And Mexican Pete his gun
Now Dead Eye Dick and Mexican Pete
Had been working Dead Man's Creek
They'd had no luck in the way of a fuck
For well nigh over a week

Save a Moose or two and a Caribou
A Bison, a Cow or so
And Dead Eye Dick's was the king of pricks
Had found this fucking slow
So Dead Eye Dick and Mexican Pete
Set out for the Rio Grande
Dead Eye Dick with a raving stand
And Pete with his gun in his hand

And as they blazed their randy trail
No man their way withstood
But many a bride, once Hubby's pride
Found pregnant widowhood
They reached the shore of the Rio Grande
At the height of the blazing noon
To slake their thirst and do their worst
They sought Black Mike's Saloon

And as they crashed through the swinging doors
Both gun and prick flashed free
"According to sex, you bleeding wrecks
You'll fuck or you'll drink with me"
They knew the tricks of Dead Eye Dick's
From Cape Horn to Panama
So with nothing worse than a muttered curse
Those Dagoes sought the bar

But the women knew his playful ways
Down in the Rio Grande
So forty whores took down their drawers
At Dead Eye Dick's command
They saw the finger of Mexican Pete
Slip to his pistol's grip
None dared wait and at a fearful rate
Those whores began to strip

And Dead Eye Dick was breathing quick
With lecherous snorts and grunts
As forty arses came to light
Along with forty cunts
Forty arses and forty cunts
You'll see if you use your wits
And if you're slick at arithmetic
You'll find means eighty tits

Now four score tits is a thrilling sight
For a man with a mighty stand
A sight that's rare on Berkley Square
But not on the Rio Grande
Now Dead Eye Dick had oiled his prick
Upon the previous night
And this he'd done to have some fun
And whet his appetite

His phallic limb was in fighting trim
So backing he took a run
He made a jump for the nearest cunt
And scored a hole-in-one
He bore that whore to the sandy floor
And fairly fucked her fine
And though she grinned she put the wind
Up the other thirty-nine

Whenever Dick performs that trick
He has no time to spare
With speed and strength combined with length
He hardly ruffles his hair
Now Dead Eye Dick, he fucks them quick
So he threw the first aside
And he made a dart at the second tart
When the swing doors opened wide

And into that horrible hall of sin
Into that harlot's Hell
There strode a maid who's never afraid
And her name was Eskimo Nell
Now Dead Eye Dick had got his prick
Well into number two
When Eskimo Nell let out a yell
And shouted "Dick, Hey you"!

He gave a flick of his mighty prick
And the whore flew over his head
He turned about and with a mighty shout
His face and brow turning red
But Eskimo Nell she took it well
And looked him between the eyes
She glanced at his horn with utter scorn
As it rose from his hairy thighs

She puffed a jet from her cigarette
Right at his steaming knob
But Mexican Pete was so utterly beat
That he failed to do his job
Eskimo Nell then broke the spell
In accents clear and cool
"You cunt-struck shrimp of a Yankee pimp
Do you call that thing a tool?"

"If this whole town can't take that down"
She sneered at the cowering whores
"There's one little cunt that will beat the runt
And it's Eskimo Nell's not yours"
She stripped her garments one by one
Smiling with conscious pride
Till there she stood in her womanhood
And they saw the great divide

He laid her down on the tabletop
Where someone had left a glass
As he wriggled her tits she smashed it to bits
Between the cheeks of her arse
With subtle ease she bent her knees
And spread them wide apart
And with a gentle nod to the waiting sod
She gave him the cue to start

But Dead Eye Dick knew many a trick
And proceeded to take his time
A wench like this was a fucking bliss
So he played a pantomime
He flicked his foreskin up and down
And made his balls inflate
Until they looked like granite knobs
Upon a garden gate

He winked his arsehole in and out
And his balls increased in size
His mighty prick grew twice as thick
And nearly reached his eyes
He polished the top with alcohol
To make it steaming hot
And to finish the job he sprinkled his knob
With the cayenne pepper pot

He didn't back up or take a run
Nor take a flying leap
He didn't stoop but with a swoop
And a steady forward creep
He took sight with piercing light
Along his flaming tool
And the dead slow way he shoved it in
Was calculating cool

Have you ever seen the pistons work?
On a giant C.P.R.
With a driving force of a thousand horse
Then you know what pistons are
Or maybe you think you do
But you have to know the trick
Of the work that's done on a non-stop run
By a man like Dead Eye Dick

But Eskimo Nell was an infidel
She equaled a whole harem
With the strength of ten in her abdomen
And the rock of ages abeam
Amidships she could stand a sea
Like the flush of a water closet
And she gripped his cock like a Chalwood lock
On the National Safe Deposit

But Dead Eye Dick would not come quick
He meant to preserve his power
To make her feel his red hot steel
Rammed home for many an hour
So he lay for a while with a subtle smile
While the grip of her cunt grew keener
Till with a flick of her thigh she sucked him dry
With the ease of a vacuum cleaner

She performed this feat in a way so neat
That she set at great defiance
The primary clause of the basic laws
That governs sexual science
She simply rode through the phallic code
Which for ages stood the test
The erotic rules of the classic schools
Each blinking one went West

And now dear friend I'm near the end
Of this copulative epic
The effect on Dick was sudden and quick
Akin to an anesthetic
He hit the floor and knew no more
His lust extinct and dead
His knob came out but he didn't shout
Even though it must have stripped the thread

Then Mexican Pete leapt to his feet
To avenge his pal's affront
With a savage jolt he shoved his colt
Right up her steaming cunt
He felt it slip up to the pistol grip
And he fired twice times three
But to his surprise she closed her eyes
And wriggled in ecstacy

Her smile was sweet as she found her feet
"Bully" she said "for you"
I might have guessed that was the best
Two shrimps like you could do
Next time my friend that you intend
To sally forth for fun
Give Dead Eye Dick a sugar stick
And buy yourself a bun

I'm going back to the frozen North
Where pricks are hard and strong
Back to the land of the mighty stand
Where the nights are six months long
Back to the land where they understand
What it means to copulate
Where the frozen dead sleep two in a bed
And even infants masturbate

Where you get it in as hard as tin
And spunk is really spunk
Not a trickling stream like lukewarm steam
But a frozen solid chunk
So Eskimo Nell said farewell
To Black Mike and the forty whores
And jumped on her horse not forgetting of course
To re-arrange her drawers

And as she rode through the silent night
On towards the dawn
The Northern Lights saw some wonderful sights
And even the moon had a horn
Now this horse of Nell's was under her spells
And he felt primeval amour
And he soon had a stand that she felt with her hand
And it tickled her fancy, The whore

So she got off her steed and quickly peed
Then slipped from her underwear
Laid the horse close down to her on the ground
And they made the perfect pair
Soon in intercourse she was locked with the horse
Buggery as you can see
But Eskimo Nell knew very well
Here was the ultimate ecstasy

Now Eskimo Nell has settled down well
And fucks twice a week or more often
And to keep in practice she'll fuck a cactus
To ensure her cunt doesn't soften
She's had lots of shag from her faithful nag
It's thrilled her and filled her with spunk
And so great was the spell that she's had it as well
From an elephant, both prick and trunk

Unknown internet source post 2005. Strange variant.

Subject: RE: Origins: Eskimo Nell
From: Jack Horntip
Date: 26 Apr 25 - 08:37 PM

LADY LIL

She were the best the camp produced, boys,
And them what she aint goosed aint had no goose, and never will
For the Lords raked in poor Lady Lill.

There was a standing bet in our town
There warnt a Geezer fer miles around
Could screw her to a finish, and ther warnt,
Till one day Sly Pete, an ole galoot,
Came wandering in from Scraggins Chute
And won it, boys, when he took his prick out thar,
An laid it down acrost the bar,
We fellers knewed we seen Lills fate.
But thar warnt no backin out that late.
So we arranged to have the mill
Behind the school house on the hill,
Where all the boys could see it.

Lill's start was like the summer breeze
That softly sways the cypress trees.
But when Lill screwed boys, she screwed for keeps,
And piled her victims up in heeps.
Lill screwed around and screwed unyil
She screwed the grass clean off the hill.
She tried her bunts and double bunts
And all the tricks whats knowed to cunts.
But Pete was with her every lick,
Still letting out more prick.
Lill has her boots on when she fell;
So what the Hell boys, what the Hell?

Anonymous

Text #3910 from The Gordon Inferno Collection

See here: https://archive.org/details/1917gordoninfernocollection/page/3910/mode/1up

Subject: RE: Origins: Eskimo Nell
From: Jack Horntip
Date: 09 Jul 26 - 02:35 PM

Poor Lil (Version 2)
Tune: Same meter as Eskimo Nell

She was the best our camp produced
And them that ain't been screwed by Lil
Ain't had no goose and never will,
For Lil's been took away.

'Twas a standing bet around our town,
That no one could screw her and clamp her down
For when she screwed, she screwed for keeps,
And piled her victims up in heaps.

But down from the north came Yukon Pete,
With sixteen pounds of rolling meat.
When he laid his cock out on the bar,
The damn thing reached from here to thar.


We all knew Lil had met her fate
But we couldn't back down that thar late,
So it was arranged down by the mil,
Back of the schoolhouse on the hill.

When all the boys could get a seat
And watch that half-breed bury his meat,
Lil started out like the Autumn breeze
Whistling through the hemlock trees.

She tried the twist and the double bunt
And all the tricks wha's known to cunt,
But Pete was with her every lick
And just kept reeling out more prick.

At last poor Lil just had to stop,
For Pete had nailed her to the spot.
Here clothes were torn and ripped to shreds,
And scatters all over the cactus beds.

The sod was ripped for miles around
Where poor Lil's ass had hit the ground
But she died game I'm here to tell,
Died with her boots on where she fell -
So what the hell boys, what the hell!

Posted by GUEST.gargoyle on Oct 19, 2001 to the Rugby Football Songs thread.

See here: https://mudcat.org/detail_print.cfm?messages__Message_ID=575393

Subject: RE: Origins: Eskimo Nell
From: Lighter
Date: 13 Jul 26 - 11:11 AM

Earlier: Evening Herald (Dublin, Ire.), June 4, 1928, mentions "Eskimo Nell" as the name of a character in a Trinity U. undergraduate stunt.

Subject: RE: Origins: Eskimo Nell
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Jul 26 - 02:39 AM

About the Royal Navy tradition of a "forfeit if wrong". A generation earlier in Singapore in the 1960's there were a lot of ships in the Naval Base during the "Confrontation" with Indonesia. The nearest bar to the Naval Base was the Sembawang Bar (Just across the road from the Naval Base gate). This used to get packed with sailors. Someone would pick a victim by pointing at him and the whole bar would chant out "Sing, sing, or show your ring." The chosen singer would then stand and sing a bawdy song. If they couldn't do this they had to drop their trousers and underpants and bend over. (Showing their ring.) My mentor on my ship, if drunk enough, would be able to recite the whole of Eskimo Nell, but could not remember the words when sober.   
One song had special rules associated with it. The song had to start with the verse
"This old hat of mine, the inside is quite new, but the outside has seen some stormy weather.
I cast this hat aside, and with it cast my pride, Roll on the ship that takes me home."
Once begun, the song had to continue until the singer had no further garments, it was not allowed to be terminated early. Usually the singer ended up being thrown out of the bar.

Subject: RE: Origins: Eskimo Nell
From: Lighter
Date: 17 Jul 26 - 07:03 AM

So I've heard, GUEST.

You might be interested in this Mudcat thread:


/mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=13825#115582

Subject: RE: Origins: Eskimo Nell
From: GUEST, The Ancient Matriarch
Date: 24 Jul 26 - 01:37 AM

Then neither did he take a run
Nor did he take a leap,
Nor did he stoop, but made a swoop
And a steady forward creep.


A fine example of what Dick Gaughan calls ballad language.

Subject: RE: Origins: Eskimo Nell
From: Mick Pearce (MCP)
Date: 24 Jul 26 - 12:30 PM

Lighter you gave an external link that fails. Here's the correct internal one: Lyr Req/Add: All for Me Grog / All Gone for Grog