BS: Christmas Tavern 2019

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 27 Dec 19 - 07:16 AM

Christmas tree crumpets appeared briefly here last year, but I dunno - surely the butter will drip off ...

Round crumpets rule!

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 Dec 19 - 11:12 AM

Bee-dubya walks in, notices the upside down Christmas tree hanging in the corner, and says, "Looks like someone forgot to pay the gravity bill again."

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Mrrzy
Date: 27 Dec 19 - 11:44 AM

The small rabbit has licked off all their chocolate and crumpet butter and is apparently a soft grey in color. Who knew. They have crept behind the bar where they can get under that nice African man's boubou and be in the way, riding a foot at a time...

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Dec 19 - 09:11 PM

Carefully, slowly, he pulls the pistol from his belt and nails Bee Dub with the squirted stream. Water, water everywhere! "Stand and deliver!" he shouts. "Deliver to me a flagon of mead or something!"

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Dec 19 - 09:49 AM

He turns to the barkeep and explains that his "stand and deliver" statement is usually directed to UPS and Fed Ex drivers. They usually run up, drop the packages, and run away.

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Severn
Date: 29 Dec 19 - 10:14 PM

The alligator turns to Raparee and says, "I assumed that you were standing a round for the house, which is already being delivered. Don't worry, I put the drinks all on your tab....."

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Donuel
Date: 30 Dec 19 - 05:23 AM

Severn, Al told me himself that he is not an alligator. He is in fact a crocodile according to his Ancestry.com report. I hope this is not racist.

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Senoufou
Date: 30 Dec 19 - 05:41 AM

Yes I agree, it's crocist Donuel heh heh.

Mrrzy, African Man says he's grateful for the little furry rabbit on his foot, as it's keeping his toes nice and warm. But he'd like another one for the other foot please.

Smiling African Man is wearing his best outfit for the Tavern; it's made of a material in purple and white blotches, with a sort of lacy edge to the long tunic. The trousers (same material) are a bit tight -too much grub over Christmas. (Our funny neighbour asked him if he was going out in his pyjamas!)

Loads of best butter is being dispensed on hot toasted crumpet bases. Anyone fancy Christmas Pudding with brandy and fresh cream? It goes well with a glass of ale.
Happy New Year (soon!) to all. Raise your glasses! To MUDCAT! (and God bless all who sail in her)

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: JennieG
Date: 30 Dec 19 - 07:04 AM

One of the Ozzies strolls back into the tavern. The visiting son, DIL and The One And Only Grandkid have left......first time The One And Only has ventured this far north in his five years on this earth. Now the Ozzie is kicking up her heels (as is the 17 YO cat, who had never in her life before had to share her domicile with a 5 YO boy) and is ready to party tomorrow night.

Yee har!

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Mrrzy
Date: 30 Dec 19 - 09:29 AM

Sorry but I can switch feet...

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Severn
Date: 30 Dec 19 - 10:25 AM

Donuel, I suspected it was a croc all along, but I assumed since he came from Louisiana and spoke with a heavy accent. I didn't introduce him, but kept the character going. My apologies, Al.

Mrrzy, Don' switch feet until I have had a dance with you. It's bad enough that I have two left ones. Go with the ones you've got.

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: keberoxu
Date: 30 Dec 19 - 07:50 PM

Poor Charmion and Himself
were not only steaming after coming in from the cold,
but recovering from
the incense in Smokey Barney.

Hope Charmion has got her breath back
in time to cheer in the New Year,
'cause it wouldn't be a New Year's Eve
without some cheering.

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Donuel
Date: 31 Dec 19 - 07:24 AM

Thanks for loaning me your breath Charmion. I overnighted it to you last night. Beer has been freed. Aurochs have hibernated and sham witch hunt hoax trials have ended. The outer bourough guy has lost his brand. The fat lady has sung. Pavoratti has come back for one last curtaib call on the Voice. The smoke has cleared for a brand new year.

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jan 20 - 09:22 PM

Quietly, he exits. Quietly, he saddles his faithful steed. Quietly, he rides at a full gallop into the Tavern, shouting all the while "YEE-HAA! Powder River, let 'er buck!" whilst discharging his water pistols at the ceiling.

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Mrrzy
Date: 01 Jan 20 - 10:14 PM

Can one dance to a dirge, whether on the dirgiridoo or bagpipes?

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Jan 20 - 11:15 PM

Generic Mudcatter walks in and asks, "Where are all the singed bearmats? You can't have a Tavern without singed bearmats!""

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Donuel
Date: 02 Jan 20 - 07:08 AM

I go into stores now that seem to scream "Christmas is dead, lomg live Valentines day".

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Mrrzy
Date: 02 Jan 20 - 04:48 PM

A scruffy and pleasantly-smelling bunny hops out from behind the bar, and out into the world, looking for the New Year's tavern...

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 20 - 10:50 PM

And with the tipping of a beer tunn, a flash of light, and hearty "Hi Ho, Silver!, the place is changed to a New Year's Tavern, party hats and all!

Squiddy is only mildly confused, being familiar with the joint.

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Black belt caterpillar wrestler
Date: 03 Jan 20 - 06:56 AM

The twelve days of Christmas end on January 6th, the greenery stays up until Candlemas(2nd February). But doesn't the Tavern have a timeline of its own which is completely flexible?

Robin

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Mrrzy
Date: 03 Jan 20 - 12:08 PM

Oh, good. The bunny had not gotten far, and returns to the bar. The nice African man stifles a scream at the icy feet on his, but does not drop the eggnog.

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Senoufou
Date: 03 Jan 20 - 12:55 PM

While African Man is serving at the bar (and squealing at the little rabbit's icy foot) the old lady is busy stirring a large pot of hot soup. It's Scotch broth, and will warm up all the visitors. Anyone who wishes can have a large bowl of it, served with home-made bread.
A little shadow floats past, in the shape of a grey-coloured Siamese cat. A faint miaow is heard, then it disappears.

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Jan 20 - 06:09 PM

The Tavern's timeline is not simply flexible, it is a Möbius strip. If you walk around the Tavern twice, you're back exactly where you started, both in space and time. But, to do so, you have to spend about half the trip walking both upside down and backwards in time. The experience can be a bit nausea inducing, particularly to those who've just finished a big meal of roasted aurochs and room-temperature stout.

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Mrrzy
Date: 03 Jan 20 - 08:33 PM

I like the disappearing faint meow. Maybe it's the WomBat...

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Severn
Date: 04 Jan 20 - 02:56 PM

A reminder to any who are leaving.

More and more personAl belongings are appearing on the huge Christmas tree, thanks to Billy the Squid and his gang of squidlets. Even the "We Will Not Be Responsible For Lost Or Stolen Items" sign is now hanging two thirds of the way up the enormous fir. Also, the sign for Old Lang's Premium Special New Year's Lager from the bar is appropriately on top, replacing the star.....

The wombat has already been shown how to fly in past yesrs. Now some of the squidlets have taken it out of the magic back door leading to the beach to teach it to swim.......

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: keberoxu
Date: 04 Jan 20 - 03:00 PM

I recognize the Ghost of Smokey Pokey,
nice of him to make a ghostly appearance.
Hope Senoufou and her lovely African husband
enjoy the New Year with
'Spirit' aka Sam the Skull
and Binky.

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Senoufou
Date: 04 Jan 20 - 03:09 PM

Thank you dear keberoxu! Sam the Skull and Binky are now serving mince pies and large chunks of Christmas cake to the guests in the Tavern.
Old lady is keeping a sharp eye on Sam,as he's likely to go chasing after the squidlets, trying to nibble their tentacles.
Broth is being served in large quantities; people are coming in shivering with cold.
Smiling African Man is now wearing his new lambswool jumper in an eye-watering shade of deep yellow. Old Lady just managed to stop him from adding fiery hot Scotch bonnets chillies to the broth.

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Donuel
Date: 04 Jan 20 - 03:57 PM

I used to be a tinker, I did alot of tinks but now like the giant auroch I am extinct

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jan 20 - 10:36 PM

Ah, Candlemas! When all Christmas stuff USED TO BE TAKEN DOWN. When Christmas lasted.

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Mrrzy
Date: 07 Jan 20 - 10:46 AM

Bunnies *like* hot chilies, comes mumbling from under a beautifully embroidered boubou behind the bar.

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Senoufou
Date: 07 Jan 20 - 12:11 PM

Old Lady has knitted a warm, fluffy jumper for the little rabbit. It's pale turquoise with white stripes. This is better than Scotch bonnets for warmth.
The ex-tinct receives a pair of nice woolly socks. Other knitted garments (gloves, scarves, cardigans) are on a table at the side for guests who are feeling the cold.
The hot soup has been supped, and all the Christmas goodies have now been eaten.
Smiling African Man is busy cleaning up the kitchen area (a job which he adores, he always leaves the surfaces shining) Occasionally a frown crosses his face. It's because Norwich City football club are now bottom of the Premier League and will probably go down. Oh dear...

Happy 2020 to all!

Subject: RE: BS: Christmas Tavern 2019
From: Mrrzy
Date: 07 Jan 20 - 02:18 PM

Bonne année, bonne santé... Déjà gagné cadeau!