BS: Obit: My Lobster Died

Subject: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: SINSULL
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 10:01 AM

Though the neighbors may be relieved, I am beside myself. Larry, the 4' blow up lobster who has resided in my maple tree for years (dates back to the first lobster boil) has fallen. Done in by the last thunderstorm. He is now a puddle of orange plastic unfit for human consumption. RIP, old friend.
MOM

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: Ed T
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 10:05 AM

I am crushed, thinking about that flacid big claw.

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 10:13 AM

You mean this dear departed creature wasn't the victim of pranksters before now?

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 10:21 AM

Alas poor Larry, I knew him well.
Cry 'God for Larry, Maine, and Saint Kendall!' Exeunt. Alarum, and chambers go off ...

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: MMario
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 10:30 AM

A sad day in history, indeed. It is suspected that the decline of modern civilization will be tracked from this date.

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: GUEST,999
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 10:37 AM

My crabs died (but I helped with that). It`s no joking matter. You have my sincere sympathies.

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: Janie
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 10:38 AM

...sniff...

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: Ed T
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 10:54 AM

What was the carapace length, of the deceased bug?

Do you plan to have he/she cremated, berried or boiled?

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: Bill D
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 11:05 AM

That's a long life....most tree lobsters live only months. Call the folks at Guinness Book of Records.

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: gnu
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 11:12 AM

No, Mary's Larry has done what all lobsters do. He simply molted and bolted to find his way back to the sea and to procreate. As far as him not saying goodbye, you know what happens to lobsters just before they molt. And think about him witnessing so many lobster boils... I don't blame him.

So, SINS, you can at least take solace that Larry's soul lives on.

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 11:21 AM

when he comes home from sewing his wild shrimps he will be

THIS BIG

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: SINSULL
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 11:26 AM

Oh my goodness! I want one!
Meantime Larry is draped over a fence in the rain. I will clean him up, then search for tears and try to re-inflate him.
Reminds me of an old an boyfriend of mine.

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: Ed T
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 11:47 AM

A maple tree, obviously a Canadian lobster, by hatch:)

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 12:24 PM

Did you have to blow him up too, SINS?

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 12:28 PM

She'd have to fix the tear first.

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: Micca
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 01:21 PM

Farewell thou good and faithful servant, For the curious among you there is a picture Here of Larry in his prime

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 01:26 PM

Wow. I am almost speechless with envy, SINSULL. I mean, that you got to have a giant tree lobster to grace your property. I've been seeking an inflatable Hillary Clinton (not giant-sized, just regular) for more than a decade now, and still have not located one. I should've maybe gone for a giant lobster instead, eh?

My condolences on your loss.

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 01:31 PM

Did he just blow down or was it the result of some shellfish act?????

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: kendall
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 01:52 PM

JOHN! how dare you say what I was wondering!

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: SINSULL
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 01:56 PM

Had a pump.

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 02:04 PM

You can do it really fast if you have an air compressor and the right adaptor. This is how they meet the demands of their customers in the famed "inflatable" bordellos in southern France.

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: SINSULL
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 02:11 PM

Seek and you shall find:
http://mrssatan.blogspot.com/2006/08/mrssatan-hillary-clinton-inflatable.html

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 02:15 PM

Oh. My. God.

I can hardly believe it.

I think I'll take the rest of the weekend off.

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 02:18 PM

They inflate bordellos in Southern France? Is that kinda like the way the US Army uses inflatable MASH hospitals?

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 02:46 PM

Oh look. It's one of Larry's mates. the

Mudcat Tavern Squid

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: Jeri
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 03:19 PM

Oh, fercryin'outloud--patch the sumbitch and re-inflate him. I blew his ass up (and the rest of him) once by myself. I think there's a picture somewhere.

999, your crabs were the world's oldest, and I doubt they're dead. Or maybe they ARE dead and you've been plagued by the ghosts of crabs for a long time. Crabbergeists...

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: Art Thieme
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 03:19 PM

ABSOLUTELY, you MUST run to the grocery store and buy a box of Lobster Helper!

All of your problems will be solved.

Art Thieme (and you can quote me!)

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: Ed T
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 03:51 PM

And, for the austrailians:http://www.muttonbone.com/?gclid=CJHj7JKpm6ICFUFM5QodxG_RyA

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: Ed T
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 03:57 PM

A replacement?
http://www.creatableinflatables.com/oceanic.htm

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 05:16 PM

I just offered to buy my wife the 30 foot inflatable crab but for some reason she turned it down.

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: catspaw49
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 05:18 PM

"I will clean him up, then search for tears and try to re-inflate him. Reminds me of an old an boyfriend of mine."

uh......yeah..................Send pictures..........

Spaw

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: Don Firth
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 05:23 PM

On the "Red Green Show" out of Canada, one of my favorite characters on the show is Ed Frid, the extremely nervous local animal control officer (if an ant approaches him aggressively, it will send him up the nearest tree!).

One of the recurring features in "The Red Green Show" is when Ed shows a particular animal and then gives information about it. Often, he wimps out, such as when he tried to palm off a fox terrier as a genuine wild fox.

On one show, he tries to palm off a crayfish as a lobster. Red says something to the effect that, "You don't know much about lobsters, I take it."

"Well," Ed responds testily, "I don't get many calls from people with lobsters up their chimneys, if that's what you mean. Or calls about a rabid lobster running around killing the sheep!"

Don Firth

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: SINSULL
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 06:08 PM

Alas, I have an anatomically correct inflatable sheep. But the neighbors will tolerate only so much.

Jeri,
Will you come for a visit and re-inflate Larry? If he can handle it?
Poor guy is a bit bleached out by snow, wind, rain and sun. But his heart is still there.
SINS

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: Tangledwood
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 07:49 PM

Grieve not Sinsull, it is as Gnu said. Your friend has migrated to Australia and has set up business here. Big Lobster

Ed T - thank you for the kind thought but you are confusing Aussies with Kiwis.

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: gnu
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 08:00 PM

Tangle.. THAT'S not a lobster... This is a LOBSTER.

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: kendall
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 08:02 PM

Clueless people I can take, but clawless Lobsters?

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: gnu
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 08:09 PM

That's what I said, Kendall... in a pic.

Apologies to Mick Dundee.

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 08:19 PM

Poor lobster appears to have a person in his/her clutches and a Canadian flag in...never mind.

But, SINS!! Stan Rogers had it right!

Rise again, rise again,
Though your skin it be full of holes
And life has seemed to end
No matter what you've lost
Be it your air, your tree, a friend
Like Larry the inflatable lobster
Rise again!

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: gnu
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 08:20 PM

BTW, that is in Shediac, New Brunswick, Canada "The Lobster Capital of the World".

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: Ed T
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 08:51 PM

I saw my lobster fly
and heard the air escape out to the sky
Brother, what a windy night it was
Brother, what a flight it really was
Glory be

I heard my lobster sigh
Escaped from a tree just 'fore it took a ride
Brother, what a sight for neighbours awe
Brother, what a flight the lobster saw
Yes, indeed

The night my lobster died
The night my lobster died
Brother, what a sifgt it really was
Brother, what a flight it really was
Glory be

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: Bobert
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 08:55 PM

Oh, my gosh... I am late to this thread and want to pass on my deepest condolenceses, Sins... I'm sure you must be crush-tationated... I mean, I remember when my Recessa-Annie doll went down --No, not that way, you gutter dwellers -- it was such a blow, ahhhhhh, difficult time for me... I mean, she never talked back and was always there for me with that same smile on her face... Broke my heart but whata ya' gonna do???

So tonight I raise my Natie-Lite can to poor ol' Lobby... He was a good friend to Sins and he will sho nuff be missed...

BTW, didja try some duct tape??? I mean, that stuff is like a miracle... Gave me and Recessa-Annie, sniff, anther year...

B~

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 09:06 PM

Bobert, I was given a cousin of your Annie to use. I was to blow into her mouth, but when I did her lungs shot clear across the room. I was told that I might have blown her a little to hard.

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: SINSULL
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 09:26 PM

I intend to give Larry a blow job tommorow. I will report back...



PS I hate you all. You are always sympathetic when someone loses a dog or a cat. But I lose my lobster and I get nothing but abuse.

SIGH...

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: Bobert
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 09:50 PM

Want abuse, Sins, an' we're here to deliver... I mean, we're here fir ya', girl... Who's Larry???... Nevermind but lucky feller...

Ahhhhh, waitin' on that blow job report with baited breath...

(Boberdz, Boberdz, Boberdz??? I tried to tell ya a long time ago to blow, ahhhhhh, leave this pop-stand... These people are, ahhhhhh, friggin' loonies... Maybe you could just do that Lynard Skinnard thing and ask for "Three Steps" toward the door...)

Hey, you wanta go then go... I'm waitin' on a blow job report!!!

B:~)

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: Tangledwood
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 10:34 PM

That's what I said, Kendall... in a pic.

Apologies to Mick Dundee.

It must have been done to confuse the tourists because we usually call them crayfish.

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 11:06 PM

That woulda just been a little ol' crawdad back home.

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: LadyJean
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 11:09 PM

Best of luck with Larry.

I am reminded of one of Billy Conolly's monologues, on inflatable women; "I just gave her a little love bite and she farted and flew out the window."

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: ranger1
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 11:35 PM

NO!!!!!! Not Larry! Poor fella, I knew we should have freed him the same time we released his smaller cousin.

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: Janie
Date: 13 Jun 10 - 12:22 AM

Uhmmm..........


Uhhh...........


Maybe.........no.......nevermind..........

Subject: RE: Obit: My Lobster Died
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 13 Jun 10 - 04:23 AM

Annie and Larry, just a couple of air-heads, who'll miss them?


Just pucker up and blow, SINS.