ADD: Oldest Swinger in Town

Subject: Lyr Req: Oldest Swinger in Town
From: Piff
Date: 06 Nov 25 - 10:24 AM

One of the late Fred Wedlock's most famous and funniest songs was "Oldest Swinger in Town" but I am puzzled about the words in the first chorus, after the line "Here you come and there you go" and there seeems to be general confusion over the words that follow. I have seen versions written as either "wire wheel spokes" or "white wheel spots" neither of which actually makes a lot of sense to me, so perhaps neither of those is correct. Is anyone able to clarify what Fred actually sang at that point?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Oldest Swinger in Town
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 06 Nov 25 - 10:52 AM

Perhaps this will help.
Lyrics of The Oldest Swinger In Town

THE OLDEST SWINGER IN TOWN

When you score with a chick in a disco bar
Take her home in your hairy little car
Then you find you went to school with her ma and pa
You're the oldest swinger in town
When you won't look in a mirror in the light of day
Swear you dyed it when your hair turns gray
When you zip up your trousers and your belly's in the way
You're the oldest swinger in town
Here you come and there you go
Wire wheel-spokes and a stereo
But the engine's clapped, and the driver also
You're the oldest swinger in town
When the barber takes a little less time each week
The kids don't understand a word you speak
When you walk into a disco and they offer you a seat
You're the oldest swinger in town
You prefer a pint of shandy to Bacardi and coke
The songs are too loud, there's too much smoke
You'd like another dance but you're affraidyou'll have a stroke
You're the oldest swinger in town
Here you come with your chest all bare
A little gold ingot and a lot of gold hair
Like the disco king meets yogi bear
You're the oldest swinger in town
When you're feeling as stiff as a skinhead's boot
You rub on Vick where you used to splash Brut
And the latest punk fashion is your wedding suit
You're the oldest swinger in town
When you have to go shopping for your sex appeal
Travolta shades and nine-inch heels
You say a man is just as old as the woman he feels
You're the oldest swinger in town
Here you come with your lips closed tight
You never smile, you know it wouldn't look right
'Cause your dentures glow in ultra-violet light
You're the oldest swinger in town
And you look so mean 'cause your pants are too tight
You're the oldest swinger in town
And it takes you all night to do what you used to do all night
You're the oldest swinger in town

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Oldest Swinger in Town
From: DaveRo
Date: 06 Nov 25 - 11:06 AM

If you don't know what 'wire wheels' for cars are, Mr. Google will enlighten you. People used to add wire wheels to ordinary cars to make them look sporty. Along with 'go faster stripes'.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Oldest Swinger in Town
From: GUEST,Jerry
Date: 06 Nov 25 - 12:34 PM

Oddly enough, I remember it as “white wall tyres and a stereo”, similarly being the height of fashion for deluded boy racers at the time. How times have changed - such people these days lumber around in over-sized tanks, and unlike sports cars, the further above the tarmac the better. I think guitar fashions have gone the other way though, big is no longer beautiful.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Oldest Swinger in Town
From: GUEST,Jerry
Date: 06 Nov 25 - 01:19 PM

Or was it “white walls, spots and a stereo”, as in fancy tyres, spotlights and a sound system?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Oldest Swinger in Town
From: GUEST,jim bainbridge
Date: 06 Nov 25 - 01:31 PM

I'd suggest you check the website of Ed Pickford, who wrote this song & went to some trouble to convince the PRS that it was his composition.
Ed always said the version by the 'Bards' from Ireland was the best one.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Oldest Swinger in Town
From: MaJoC the Filk
Date: 06 Nov 25 - 02:08 PM

Go-faster stripes: that dates it to the era when car silencers consisted of multiple baffles, and the aspiring flash harry was advised to knock them all out with a vroom-handle to increase the sonic oomph. Doesn't work .... the car ends up sounding like the rust-bucket it probably is, while the Real Thing emits a low, sultry throb.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Oldest Swinger in Town
From: DaveRo
Date: 06 Nov 25 - 02:32 PM

I found lyrics with "Wide wheels, spots and a stereo".

'spots' - spotlights - sounds good, better than 'spokes'.

'wide wheels' - wider wheels for better grip were favoured, with low-profile tyres, but I've never heard them called that.

'white-wall tyres' - this could be a US version.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Oldest Swinger in Town
From: Black belt caterpillar wrestler
Date: 07 Nov 25 - 04:01 AM

I think that Fred did not always sing the same words, I seem to remember variations in several of his performances, not that he forgot the words, more that he tried out different phrases.

Robin